Puppy

Today while I was driving from the grocery store, I saw a big rottweiler running in the road. I would have chased after it to at least get it out of the road, but I was in the 2nd left turn lane and in no real position to stop.  I looked for it, but couldn't find it again.  It totally reminded me of a dog we had when I was a little girl.  The dog was funny looking. She was part dachshund and part poodle. So she was low to the ground but had this crazy fur that mostly matted. She had been my sister's dog but like most of my sister's pets, she'd abandon them to us and they would become a family pet. So Mouse used to get out and we'd never notice it.  We have no idea where she'd go, maybe just around the block but we'd randomly hear scratching at the front door and she was back.  I used to joke that since we never walked her she started walking herself.  I thought about her seeing that dog running in the road and wondered if when people would see Mouse "walking herself" would they worry about her being loose and try to catch her to bring her back.

Epiphany

Six years ago, my mother and I had a screaming match in the front yard of their house. The gist of it was that I was no longer going to tolerate her irrational anger. I grew up walking on eggshells not knowing if she was going to get pissed off at something or not, not knowing what kind of mood she was going to be in. While I spent most of today agonizing over the wrath of my boss come Tuesday over something I had payroll do I realized something... If I'm not willing to put up with it in my mother why in the hell am I putting up with it in my boss?  That's one of my biggest issues with her. She gets irrationally angry about stupid stuff. I am not putting up with it anymore. I may end up quitting before I have a new job lined up, but I can't do it anymore. Worse comes to worst, I pull my 401K out. That's really bad, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I can be a 90 year old librarian. :)
My second epiphany of today was what my boss was irrationally angry about. I asked payroll to do a refund of benefits for someone today. She flipped out because of the tax implications since the refund will count as part of the first payroll of 2012 and the deduction was taken out in 2011. "As the benefits manager I should think of these things..." After I thought about it more I realized if the PAYROLL manager didn't care why the hell was she freaking out? Since the PAYROLL manager has no issue, she's got no place to be pissed off.

Before I quit in a fit of wrath, I may try to talk to the new CEO.  The CFO couldn't rein her in maybe the new CEO can. My entire department hates her. The payroll manager is on the verge of quitting due to her. Before I started at least 3 other people quit due to her. And let's not forget the African American woman she fired. After only giving her less than 1 week to improve on her "improvement plan."

Goals for 2012

Anyone who has read this before knows I don't make resolutions. I make goals. Things I'd like to do better at.

Meal Planning.  I make this goal periodically.  Usually after I realize how much take out I'm eating. I eat a lot of take out. Too much take out. I'm pretty good about setting up food for the week for lunches but somehow not dinners.

Keep my 4.0 GPA in grad school.  With under grad I never had a chance. Well maybe I had a chance, but since I took Speech the first semester of my first year I never really had a chance. Somehow now, though, I've got one. Three semesters in and I have a 4.0.  I have 3 classes in the spring and one in the summer. I know in reality it doesn't mean anything really, but now that I'm almost there I want it.

I would add find a new job but that was a goal for 2011 and didn't pan out.  That's kind of always an ongoing goal. Without babbling too much about something that hasn't changed, I hate my job. I want a new job. Maybe once I have my MLIS I can get the new job easier. I hope. The thought of being at the current job for another year makes me want to cry. A LOT. Although there is a glimmer of hope (which keeps getting pushed back) in that we're merging with another company. I keep hoping evil boss will be let go to keep the hr person from the new company.