Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Adventures in online dating

I've rejoined an online dating site. I'm pretty upfront with who I am I think. I have self identified as liberal. I have indicated I want kids. So one guy who starts communication with me is a self-identified conservative. When one of the questions I used said something like "tell me about your political beliefs." his response was "conservative." What does that even mean? I mean besides conservative. Plus once we got to the "open communication" stage all he said was I want to know more about you text me. So not happening dude. I'd consider emailing but texting involves me giving you a phone number. No, just no.

Another indicates he "might want kids" but in our email communications indicates that ship has sailed. So why bother. I very clearly say I do want kids. I DO want kids. So I replied with I can't have kids, but I do intend to adopt some someday. We'll see how that goes. Probably nowhere fast.

There's a 3rd who looks vaguely like a serial killer. Like the serial killers on TV not like Jeffrey Dahmer or anything. There's an actor he reminds me of but I can't think of the show he's on. He's an accountant.

I also don't understand those that post that they don't have kids in one section but then talk about their multiple children in another. Are they just stupid or did the change in the site design affect their answers. That one I don't get.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Are We There Yet?

I'm talking with a new Realtor next week. The first one will do good things for me and I have no doubt in his negotiation skills. And I'm totally willing to pay the minimum fee he charges. BUT I don't like financing games, which he proposed and I feel like he doesn't ... I dunno I feel like my price level may be beneath him. The potential new realtor sells home in the bracket I'm planning on spending. She's a woman. She's older. We'll see.

My biggest problem, though, is that I want to just be done. Both realtors agree that I'm starting too soon. I can't start looking yet because there's still a lot of time before I can move in. I just want to be in the process. Or done with the process. Or anywhere along in the process. Because if I think really hard about the fact that in 3 months I should be in the process of moving into my new house it seems like I should be somewhere along the process right now. Right? Maybe that process should be working on packing up this apartment.

I have a theory (ok it isn't a theory it is a thought I literally just had while sitting here) that if I give myself so many days of overlap than I don't have to REALLY pack... I can just use the same boxes and unload at the new house to refill here. Now having helped a friend move in that exact fashion, it is actually a ridiculous process and annoying so I won't do that, but it is a very tempting idea as I look around my apartment and think about having to pack all this shit up.

Tuesday, April 09, 2013

Trying for empathy

I have a coworker that I'm not fond of. She's pedantic. She's unpleasant. She gets away with murder. She's kind of a bitch. In reality, very few are fond of her. Nobody wants to work with her. Even our boss gives me assignments that based on our 'areas of focus list' totally should be hers. Since I'm the one who says 'no problem' when asked to do something (and then actually does it) I get asked to do things that infringe on her territory.

I realized recently that I kind of feel badly for her. It has to be hard for her that more of my coworkers like me. I may sound conceited with that, but really they do. It isn't a hard formula to get people to like you - don't be a bitch, help out when needed, do nice things for people.  She never does any of those three basic things. After a year in the department, I can now kind of see how she's threatened by me. It has nothing to do with my knowledge and everything to do with my personality and in some respects I'm not sure that personality is something that can be easily changed. She's probably 10 - 15 years my senior so her brittle personality probably isn't going anyplace.

 So I feel badly for her. It has to suck knowing, on some level, that most of your coworkers don't want to work with you, or laugh with you or eat lunch with you.  It has to suck when people stop asking your for your expertise in matters, and your new, younger coworker gets all the attention. And the thing is, I don't really think she gets why people like me better. She commented to me once about some stuff I did for the wellness fair, how did I know to do this kind of thing. And here's where the big difference between her and I shows - I just think of what I would like someone to do for me in a similar situation and do that thing (it does help that I can remember random factoids about my coworkers like she can't eat chocolate and likes carrot cake, vegetarian coworker loves things with fruit... blah blah blah). It doesn't have to be fancy, just think about what someone else would like. It would never dawn on her to do that. And that's a bit sad for her.

Sunday, April 07, 2013

Putting the pieces together

While at my parents' house I picked up a few things I had owned since childhood. One of those things was a telescope I thought I had lost years ago in all my moving around. Once I buy a tripod, I'm going to bust that out and use it. The stars here in Texas are amazing.

Something else I found was a pair of Okinawan Shisa dogs. They are similar to the Fu dogs of China. I bought them in Okinawa when I was there many many years ago. When I shipped them to Texas, I did not pack them well enough and one broke much more than the other. The other broke into 3 pieces and was fairly easy to put back together. The other... not so much. It will probably not stand solidly once I'm done gorilla gluing it together. It also will have some chips missing. I do feel badly that I have broken them. I could try to be all profound and say that broken things can't be put back together the same way, but we all know I'm not profound. :) Luckily it is the one who keeps his mouth open to ward off evil spirits as opposed to the one whose mouth was closed to keep in good spirits. Maybe the cracks will confuse the evil spirits.

Galentine's Day

On my favorite TV show, Parks & Recreation, Leslie (the main character) celebrates Galentine's Day on February 13th. She goes over the top with presents for her gal pals, but basically the gist of the holiday is to celebrate your friends and what you love about them. I love the idea of this non-existent holiday. Romance comes and goes but hopefully friends are for as long as possible.

I have been lucky enough to know some really great women in my life. I've already sung the praises of Michelle. (Well I sung her praises a long time ago. Apparently this is a clear example of my 2nd word completion because I had intended to say a lot of nice things about a lot of nice people and managed to finish 2. Also, please note that here we are in the middle of February and I still don't have my 3rd word for the year.) (Also, note that this post is actually being finished in APRIL, I suck.)

It's amazing to think that I am where I am today because of the people who I've known along the way. My parents are odd birds. They don't have a lot of friends. And by don't have a lot I mean my dad has none and my mom's best friend died a couple years ago.  I don't really make a lot of friends either. I have a hard time with it. But, for the most part, the friends I make are long term and lasting. Since I have such a hard time making them, I hold on tightly to the ones I have. Luckily, they hold on to me too. :)

You can't spell debacle without acle?

So on spring break (about 2 weeks ago) we descended upon my parents' house in an attempt to help them with the chaos that reigns there. I underestimated the true amount of crap and overestimated my mother's willingness to part with any of it. As in, she has no willingness. None whatsoever. Not even an ounce of willingness.

Now I should say that I have given her an out. They could have said no at the beginning. AND about a week before we went, I emailed them and said look if you don't want us to do this, tell us NOW and we'll adjust our plans and expectations. No answer.

I also seriously underestimated the level of mentally ill my mother currently is. I say mentally ill, not to denigrate those with mental illnesses, but because she has to be (albeit undiagnosed). There can be no other explanation for her complete and total unwillingness to part with any of her treasures. Even when faced with things that are obviously trash. OBVIOUSLY trash, she can't bear to part with them. As my sister and I discussed one night, it isn't as though these are things that have sentimental value because of our childhood or even her own... these are OTHER PEOPLE'S treasures. She buys all this crap at yard sales.

We unloaded the maybe 50% of the living room. That was the only room we could even really work in. But since she wouldn't get rid of anything we mostly refilled the room when we were done.

So on the positive - My sister resealed the roof, which took almost a day. My niece and nephew found a box that contained stuff from my sister (their mother) before she died. It had photos of them from a period of time they didn't have any photos. They were very glad to find those. My nephew and I got rid of a bunch of yard debris. We got some family photos taken before my mother completely and totally melted down on Saturday.

I guess the biggest positive that came out of this is that I don't have to feel badly about it and we don't ever have to go back to try this. I do feel concern about it when they both pass, but that will be so much easier since we'll be able to throw away so much without them stalking us.