Saturday, April 30, 2005

mmm good

I just had some great steak tacos! Home made by moi of course! :) After my CPR class ended this morning, I noticed my taco place was open, but I figured that 10:20 was a little early for tacos! I thought about it though. :) I've been on a serious red meat kick lately. I don't know what's causing it, but whenever I think about cooking a meal, red meat is all I can think of. It has taken over my mind! :)

I finally got to bake the chocolate chip cookies I've been craving last night. I am a wee disappointed in the outcome. They're much crispier than I prefer. Also they have a slightly odder taste than usual. Instead of just using only rice flour, like I usually do, I used half rice flour and half tapioca flour. I also added walnuts.

Here's a pic of my baby sister from the weekend she came out to visit. She's cute, no? We tried to take those pictures where one of us holds the camera at arms length while we huddle together. Didn't work so well. The 2 of me turned out so glaringly hideous that I dare not post them because seriously... magnified every flaw I have.

Flashes of age...

Every once in a while, I get these brief flashes that I'm old. (Yeah I know, 31 is not OLD old... but it is oldish) Today I had one of those brief flashes. I was watching Red Dawn, which is a movie I loved when I was in high school. I had it on tape and would watch it all the time. I like the whole underdog part and there's little romance AND things get blown up. How great is that?! Anyway, I was watching it this afternoon, and realized it was made in 1984. It was made 21 years ago! It made me cry inside a little. :)

Friday, April 29, 2005

Ring size?

Michelley and I were discussing ring sizes today and it got me thinking... Does she have extraordinarily thin fingers or do I just have really fat fingers? (I suspect it is actually a combination of the 2...) So here's the question. What's your ring size? Mine is (I believe, it's been awhile since I've been sized... the last ring I bought was at Nordstrom's Rack off one of those little displays) a 9. Damn the little fat fingers inherited from my German grandmother!

Thursday, April 28, 2005

When Will I learn? :)

Today was an interesting work day. It was our Mission Day where all the faculty and staff got together and listened to some keynote speakers. At the table I was seated, were 4 HR folks and 3 physics professors. Here's what I learned from those folk... There is no God in Physics. One professor was fascinating to watch. He just squirmed and wiggled around the entire 4 hours. He was so uncomfortable. When we had our 2 rounds of table discussions, both times he was unhappy with the discussion. He had a very strong belief about what is rational and logical and spirituality did not fit into this. It was very interesting in the grand scheme of things.

I had a doctor's appointment at 3:00 downtown so at 2:15 (closer to 2:30) I booked out of the office and down the hill. Slightly mundane, I know.

I came home and changed immediately. I apparently can go for an entire 2 weeks without doing laundry, but the clothing I'm stuck in by day 12... not my favorite. The waistband of my pants has rubbed one of my sides raw.

Reheated some left overs, sat on my ass and then it was time for my other meeting of the evening. I headed down to Belltown for a meeting about the Seattle Paint Out. This is my 3rd year doing it. I decided this year I would participate in the planning instead of just showing up, so I am now the First Hill Lead. This may be quite a bit of work. AND there will be solicitation for donations, which is my least favorite thing ever. But it is good to challenge myself. Get out of the 'box.' (God I hate that damn corporate phrase!) We'll see how it all pans out over the summer. I told Matt that I will help him any way I can for his new job. That'll be my one gay project this year (usually I dodge volunteering for the gays). Between my paint out project, the various summer projects I do, my Sunday adventures et al... this should be a busy summer! :)

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

To upgrade or not to upgrade...

That is the question. I'm considering upgrading from dial-up to DSL or Cable Modem. I've done some vague research and discovered that I currently pay 16.99 to AT&T. If I wanted to upgrade to their DSL, I could do that for 29.99/month for the first year and then 39.99 after that. They would provide the modem for free. (Although a 19.99 shipping and handling). I checked out both my cable place and my phone company. For Qwest, they have one deal for 26.99/mo, but according to their site, it is only 4 times faster than regular dial up. A long time ago, AT&T provided me with their accellerator... which is 3.2 times faster so why bother with that plan. Their other option is 29.99/mo for 5 months then 42.99. AND I have to either buy their modem or pay a $5.00 rental fee every month. (Now after 11 months, is it mine? probably not bastards...) Comcast has a similar deal... but 19.99/mo but only for 2 months and then 39.99 after that. And the same 5.00 rental fee every month or purchase for 60 bucks. So logically I would go with AT&T. But the question really is, do I need to do this? I'm mostly fine with dial-up. The only time I get pissy about it is when I go to fancier flash sites and it takes forever. I don't know... why do I agonize over the wrong things? :)

Monday, April 25, 2005

Kicky orange bandana

Matty P & I hit coffee at Starbucks tonight. Because we could sit outside and play our cards in the beautiful sunshine. Except it was in the shade. And it got chilly. :) So we headed up to Charlies so MP could eat dinner. (I had eaten tacos before we left.) I was thinking of having a little more dinner. The waiter mentioned the soup of the day was tortilla soup. I'm not, in general, a soup fan, but for some reason the thought of tortilla soup sounded good... Poor waiter. The first two questions determined if there were beans in the soup and what type of tortillas. With the more obvious eliminators out for me (I don't eat beans and can't eat flour tortillas) I started asking more questions.... specifics about the ingredients, if it is too spicy, and finally if he likes it. I think all totaled, I asked about 10 questions regarding this soup. Once it was time to order it, I had to order it. I couldn't have put the guy through all that and then not ordered it. I'm glad I did. It was good! :) We left there and headed for Vivace, my favorite coffee place. I ordered the ginger spiced cider like usual. Unlike usual, there was a boy serving. He shouldn't make drinks. My ginger spiced cider tasted like warm apple juice. :( I was not pleased. We played some more cards and backgammon and that was about it. Not at all eventful. Except for the part where MP threatened revenge. And it was good to see him again. Our last hang out time was more than 2 weeks ago. And that one had been weird. I ended up leaving the place and we were both kind of pissy... me with him, him in general.


I meant to go to bed at 10:00 last night. But when one finally STARTS cooking dinner at 8:00 PM, and doesn't eat until well into the 9:00 hour, going to sleep at 10:00 just isn't happening. Now I'm hurting. I may fall asleep at the desk. And yes, Ian, you told me so.

Inexplicable wrath...

Last night while I was watching something on TV, the damn Jack in the Box commercial came on. The one where room service brings in his breakfast and he whines that he wanted a sunrise pannido. Suddenly when he started whining I thought 'I just want to hit that guy with a bat.' It was kind of mean in my head. I was a little bit surprised at myself.

Also, there are movies that I've seen that make my heart hurt. Literally. The scene that causes Edward Norton's character to go to jail in American History X. (If you don't know it is awful and I'm not telling ya). The scene in the church in The Patriot where the people are boarded up inside and they set fire to it. I recall, when I first saw the movie, as it being a much more heart-hurt type of scene. They've edited most of it out for TNT (or TBS I forget which I was watching last night).

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Interesting* things I learned from my sis...

1 - Apparently the reason I do not want another car is because I'm afraid of driving. This is according to my mother. It apparently has nothing to do with the $100.00 I'd spend just parking a car. The probably over $300.00 I'd pay in car payments because if I'm purchasing another car, I'm going hybrid. I used to pay $70.00 roughly in car insurance, so we'll pretend that'll be the rate (although used car that is financed we all know the cost would be much higher). And we'll just go with one tank of gas because I rarely need to drive anywhere so we have, roughly $505/month so that I could own my own car. Now we'll pretend like I drive 20 hours a month... although I'm fairly certain I wouldn't. That would be $25.00/hr in expenses. That's more than I make in an hour! So yeah, I'm sure my fear of driving post the brake failure incident is the REAL reason I don't own a car.

2 - My mother thinks I need a pull out sofa. If I had one they would have a place to sleep. And they could come visit. Let's pretend for a minute that my apartment is not the tiniest tiny that ever did tiny, and that three adults in this apartment wouldn't drive me to alcoholism... Oh wait I can't pretend that... I've told them they'd have to get a hotel. There is not enough space in this apartment for 3 grown (especially with 2 fat) adults. Hell, there'd be nowhere for me to hide. Plus all the quirks like the bedroom and bathroom doors that don't shut correctly.

3 - They're really worried about making things 'fair' for me and my sister. They help her out financially more than me. They visit her more than me. This causes them anxiety apparently. My dad more than my mom. I'm surprised by this, mostly because I actually don't feel slighted or that Amanda is the favorite. I mean she is my mom's favorite but I don't believe that based on their visitation of her or their fiscal contributions to her life. This is why every holiday we have to go through this 'big present' deal, which makes me crazy. I really would rather they donate money to a charity or something. Apparently, I'll be getting a gift card to a sofa store. Just what I need. I think I'm more surprised that my father is so anxious about the fairness. I think he fears that I'll be all bitter like she is when I'm older about how my sisters got everything. I'd much rather, though, they'd feign interest in my life rather than try to buy me. Plus, everytime my mother contributes money to something I have to hear about it later. When she gave me the money for my birthday to finish off buying Jakob, I heard about it for months after. It just costs too much, and makes it totally not worth it.

4 - This one I feel bad about. My father was disappointed and a little unhappy I didn't visit them at Christmas when I went to Michelle's instead. Of course, I had already bought the ticket to California when he suggested it. So I don't know what they wanted me to do.

*Interesting, or crazy. You can decide. :)


Holy shit I'm tired. And yes, it really is 2:27 in the morning and we just got home. My feet may never forgive me. My knees may never forgive me, but damn we had a good time.

We started out the evening at Cayenne, a relatively new restaurant on the hill in a hotel. The food was actually pretty good. Then we headed over to RPlace for gay boys and alcoholic drinks that are worth their money. We played a few rounds of darts, which probably resulted in a tie between us, not a good sign since she's been playing for all of 1 day, and I've been playing for years. By this point it was around 9:30ish so we hopped into a cab and headed down to Pioneer Square. They have this deal on the weekends where 6 bars work together and you only pay one cover charge and can get into all 6. This was good since it let us check out many bars before sticking with one. We first went into Doc Maynards. Live music was playing. We went in for a few minutes, but it wasn't really our type of music, so we left. We tried several others, always begin slightly disappointed by the music, but cool enough, all of them had live music. Then we headed to Fenix Underground. Now at some point in the past, I may have gotten the wrong impression about Fenix Underground because I thought it was an entirely different type of club. I knew it was more alternative music, but for some reason I thought it was much more underground and (yeah I'll admit it) more scary than it was. More along the lines of lots of leather and spikes and all of that crap. It sooo was not. We had so much fun! I don't know why I'm not more into the live music scene here. (Ok I do know why, 100% why, I have no one to go with. The one person I used to drink with is not a big fan of live music, and more specifically isn't a big fan of the type of music I like.) But seriously, I've lived here almost 3 years now, I need to get out into this more! It was so much fun! There was a live band playing, Kry. They were so freakin' good! They played covers, but a nice variety of them - and all music I liked. We danced and danced and danced. I think we danced for about 3 hours. (No, maybe only 2ish). When we first got to the club, I left my sister to go use the restroom. When I came back there was this guy there chatting her up. Damn, I leave the girl alone for less than 10 minutes, and she's being hit on. The guy was weird and talking to him was hard and so we fled to the bathroom. Two other times she got hit on. One was by a youngish (not youngish 34 but looked youngish!) guy named Chris. He was sooo just looking to get laid. He started a tale of how he was divorced, only recently. And he was having some trouble with this girl. They played pool but he told her he wasn't looking for a serious relationship but she wouldn't stop calling him. Blah blah blah. Eventually the band started playing again and so I got all into it (because it was Linkin Park who I love!) and he wandered off. He may have also sensed the don't mess with my baby sister vibe I gave him. We danced and danced some more, and at the end of the night (1:30) went over to get some water. That's where 3rd guy hit on baby sister! He took her out dancing on the floor until she fled him. Then we headed for home. We walked. The walk home was only 1 mile. Unfortunately it was 1 mile completely UP HILL. And we did a little double backing because as we got towards the park, I realized walking through it at 2ish was a BAD idea... So it is now 3:12 AM and I'm done with this post.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Yay Visitor!

Today we will go to the Cherry Blossom Festival at the Seattle Center and shop shop shop. Oh and today is mani/pedi day. We will also go out drinking tonight. Yay for us! :)

Our first night...

I picked the kid up a few minutes after she was supposed to arrive. Except she actually had arrived like 30 min early. Stopped by the house and dropped off her bag. We went to dinner at this Mexican place, La Puerta. It was pretty good. I hadn't eaten there before, but we were both STARVING! We wandered down and paid a cover to get into the gay bar. They pour drinks better there than at straight bars. One (for her) and 2 (for me) drinks later we leave the gay bar and head out to the Garage. We played a couple games of pool and then headed home. She's climbed into bed. I'm thinking about going my own self, but I need to sober up a tiny bit first. :)

Friday, April 22, 2005


Well, my sister is due here in 2 hours and 40 min. Is my apartment clean, not really. :( I worked on it some today, but most motivation was out the supremely sunny window. Mostly I just wanted to sit and read in the sun. Oh well, she's only here for 2 days. There're clean sheets on the bed, that's most important. :) I'm just not a neat person at heart, and I've let the apartment get way too messy in fits of supreme laziness.

My eyes have been bugging me all day. One I rubbed much of last night so this morning to quell the irritation I put drops in both eyes so they felt kind of moist all day long.

Apparently all the flexcars on the hill and near me are on the reserve all day but only pay for 10 hours plan this month/week. All my favorite ones were booked well into the night and some into tomorrow. :(

Thursday, April 21, 2005

We're camping!

Thanks to my mad skillz and a parent who suggested the place, the Brownies and I will be camping in June. Yay for us!

The Airplane

I know I've commented on this show before. I'm fairly fascinated by this show. The episode I'm watching right now has two situations... one of which is so freaking cool and the other so uncomfortable. On a flight (I came in midway through the show so I'm not sure why) there are 2 penguins. Just out. I'm sure that they have carriers but it was so cool to see them walking through the airplane and people were getting to pet them. I'm a little envious of those people. I've been fascinated with penguins since I was very little. Besides the visiting the Great Wall of China dream, I would like to go to the Galapagos Islands in South America and see the penguins. The uncomfortable situation deals with a man wearing a 'kilt' (doesn't look like any kilt I've ever seen and I've seen a few). Other passengers are complaining that he is going commando under the kilt and they've seen evidence of this. This poor supervisor had to talk with him about what he's wearing and then try to tell (surreptitiously) if this is the case. Now she has to track him down in the airport to tell him that he has to put on pants or something else. I may complain about my job, but damn... I've never had to tell a guy that he needs to be wearing panties if he wants to come into my office. :) Ok it got worse for the poor woman. She found the guy and he was wearing that 'I know I'm making a scene' grin and continued to make her uncomfortable. Then he went off on how he was being harrassed and his rights were being trampled on and threatened litigation. (Sigh, I hate how everyone sues everyone. As much of a flaming liberal as I am, I am such a proponent of tort reform.) Seriously, this was like a black miniskirt. When he first stood up I thought of how girls will wear the extra large t-shirts to bed that just barely cover our asses (ok and some girls who wear skirts like that now)... that's not a kilt. A kilt I could see taking slight umbrage over, but not a micro-mini.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Are you fucking kidding me?!

Once upon a time, earlier this year, our service unit did not get an encampment date. I relay that info to the parents but say I can look into other options. But it becomes this idea of having a slumber party in a hotel. Do I love this idea, eh not so much. Am I willing to do it because this is what they want to do, yes. Today I find out that they've been talking and they really want to camp. I'm cool with the change. I like camping. However, it is now mid April. Time is running out to find a camp location. Encampments are full. If they'd decided this sooner it would've been easier to make this happen. They couldn't have told me sooner?? Espeically since they've been discussing this for awhile now.


I was walking home from work the other day and I got to this place by one of the hospitals where I take an escalator from one street level to the one below. On the escalator was this cute little blond boy in glasses playing. You know how it is when you're little and there's an escalator, you want to walk the wrong way on the stairs. He was doing that. He chatted with me a minute about it and showed off how fast he is. As I was walking away I was hit with such a feeling it took my breath away. I want kids. I want one of those funny little people who will want and need and demand. [At that moment, I actually wanted THAT kid, but since he had one of the new fancy Game Boys and he was dressed pretty well, I figured someone would miss him. Although obviously not the someone who failed to point out you shouldn't talk to strangers. Of course, he was also old enough to shout so kidnapping was out. :)] Anyway, the feeling was so intense and so shocking that it's actually caused me to stop and think about it. But I haven't really come up with an answer. Although, I think when my money situation eases up a bit and maybe in like 4 years I would like to look into fostering kids with the hope of adopting 1 or 2. If the doctors are correct, it will be extremely difficult for me to conceive. I'm kind of inclined to agree with Michelle on her views on infertility, and don't think I would consider that an option for myself. Of course I'm single and speaking in the abstract... But more than that, the do gooder in me thinks there are plenty of kids who need good families and that it would be selfish and somewhat irresponsible of me to go through all sorts of testing and whatnot just to have a kid with my genes.* And I don't especially like babies.

Last night, however, my subconscious apparently is still piecing this all out. I had a dream where I was visiting an orphanage. I was playing with the kids, and then we settled down to watch a movie. A little 4 year oldish boy curled up in my lap and we just sat and watched the movie. After the movie was done, I got up to leave and he didn't want me to go without him. He was crying and begging me to take him with me and I kept crying and saying I couldn't because I wasn't financially where I should be to embark on this undertaking. I woke up crying (which I hate). I take the whole dream as a sign that adoption may be the correct choice for me.

*I feel compelled to comment here that my genes are crap. I have an autoimmune disorder. Autoimmune disorders beget autoimmune disorders so that if my kids don't get my specific one, they may luck out and get none or since it indicates a problem on the gene, the kid could get something worse. Lupus is an autoimmune disorder linked to the same gene my celiac disease is on. So having my genetic children are not necessarily a priority for me. If they are for you, dear reader, more power to you. I can't fault you for that. There is some argument for having your own kids and knowing where their genes come from and what potential problems may lie under the surface.

I may die...

Earlier this morning I had a nice little chat with workcrush. We were talking about the machine he's working on fixing. I have no skills in repair of anything, and wires and gadgets strangely enough still hold a fascination for me. Mostly because since I don't really get it, they are almost 'magical.' :) He mentioned he was tired and mentioned he was in a band... but I didn't get any more info because the person he was waiting on came up. Ok so that was nice. :)

Fastforward to lunch. Workcrush is sitting in a corner, and I sit with coworker and coworker's friends. I feel compelled to state that coworker and friend 1 are both still virgins at 25. I don't know if this is why they are weird about boys but I suspect it is. So he goes to leave and waves as he walks past the table. I wave back. Friend one (who is facing me so his back is to her) is making weird gestures and faces about workcrush. After he is gone I say something to her about being weird. She proceeds to say "What, he didn't see anything, he was already around the cor..." and then makes a sound like an audible gulp. And proceeds to put her head down and eat quickly. Yes boys and girls, workcrush came back around the corner, probably heard much of that exchange and if he hadn't, the fact that the table was suddenly silent after laughing definitely should have tipped him off. Seriously, kill me now. Or more accurately, anyone want to be my friend who isn't 12 years old? :)

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

This isn't my night... :(

I had initially decided I wanted to make brownies tonight. But I didn't have the requisite 4 eggs for the mix. So I thought I'd make chocolate chip cookies. I cream the brown sugar and white sugar and the shortening. I break open 1 egg, it's fine. I break open egg 2. It is green inside. It doesn't stink so I'm not sure if it is rotten or not. I should clarify it wasn't like forest green or really obnoxiously green, but the white was tinged kind of green like curry color - you know if you pour curry into a white bowl and it leaves this weird chartreuse color. So I'm not 100% convinced that the egg is bad. (Ok I really REALLY wanted chocolate chip cookies tonight). So I go online and can't find anything and decide to call my dad (he lived on a chicken farm a way back when). As I'm stepping away from the sofa, my toes get tangled in the phone cord attached to the laptop. Luckily, I didn't yank the laptop off the sofa, HOWEVER I did rip the phone cord completely out of the computer, leaving the end of the cord in the computer. Luckily I got it out with pliers and I'm using my phone cord from the phone to log in tonight. Anyway, my father confirms my fear... that even though it doesn't SMELL rotten, probably isn't a good idea to cook with it. Obviously it's a sign from somebody... Instead I'll have this nice pseudo healthy raspberry sorbet.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Take me on a ferry ride!

V & I went to brunch this morning and on a Ferry Ride to Bainbridge Island. We didn't hang around Bainbridge, instead turning around and coming back on the ferry.

Here's where we had lunch, Broadway Grill. I can only eat there for brunch, and I can only eat their buffet. Nothing I order there ever turns out the way I thought it would. So now it is ONLY for brunch buffet.

Here's the ferry we were on. Isn't it cool?

The Space Needle and the Aquarium.

Bainbridge Island houses. I would so live on the island. Aren't the houses cute?

More Bainbridge Island houses. Seriously, aren't they cute??

And home again home again jiggity jig. Downtown Seattle. The black building that is really tall on the right is the Bank of America tower where the firefighter stairclimb was.

As we were coming back to Seattle, I noticed the buildings all looked almost fake. Like they were from Mr. Roger's neighborhood. It was kind of cool to me.

Oh holy crap.

I was just watching the Incredibles again, which is so not the point of this story. But as it finished, I stopped the DVD and on channel I was watching was this guy I recognized. He was being interviewed and it only said filmmaker under him. It didn't give his name, which I can't for the life of me remember but we worked together at the library in college. So now I'm intrigued and I'm assuming I'm watching one of those HBO shows where they talk about how a movie is made. Well, I was, but not quite the movie I would've considered. Turns out the show on HBO was Real Sex. And the type of film maker he was, porn. But not just your nice normal girl on girl or girl on boy or boy on girl on girl. No. His was balloon popping porn. Apparently this was for the Amateur Porn Film Festival which is held in of all places, Boston. The festival does not have its own website so I can't find out who he is or provide y'all with a link. I remember his first name was Mike. And he always looked a little like Homer Simpson. He seems to enjoy watching girls blow up balloons until they pop. It is so wrong that I know this.

Oh and good golly how many porn hits am I going to get off of this post?!

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Yay! Not Gross!

I've had quite a morning already. I field tripped to the Girl Scout office. First I had a little flexcar drama. Those damn Hondas. Apparently if the wheels are turned a certain way, it is impossible to turn the damn ignition. I had to read the instructions so apparently I have to turn the wheel while turning the ignition. Damn Hondas. (OH MY GOD! I interrupt this post with a I can't believe I just saw that moment... that may make me lose my lunch... I'm watching TLC and it was a commercial for some ER show, and there's this bug in this guy's ear... LIVE bug. And they cut to a picture of an x-rayish view of a bug crawling in this tiny opening. I'm HORRIFIED!) Anyway, back to the original post... I went to the Girl Scout office and bought all the stuff we need for the rest of the year. Almost $200 dollars (Girl Scout Cookie dollars) later I have a bunch of vests and badges and pins and all sorts of cool stuff.

I'm now eating a roast beast & cheddar sandwich. Yes a sandwich. I bought some bread with my last Kinnikinnick food order. I'm impressed... the bread is not gross. It is actually pretty good. It is tiny bread but not bad at all. :) Gluten Free bread tends to be... weird. I don't like, for example, Ener-G foods bread. It just isn't as good... and really does foam in one's mouth.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Professors Rule!

So you may remember this post in which I asked why doesn't the land settle where oil has been pumped out and create gaping caverns, and why doesn't Texas just sink into one giant sinkhole. I emailed a professor and asked... and she answered!

Mining of ores, excess pumping of ground water and extraction of oil give rise to settlement of the ground. Usually these settlements are pretty localized - that is why you don't see huge gaping holes in the ground like what you describe - however the land level itself has dropped because materials have collpased into the cavern left by the removal of the water/gas.
For example, in California excess pumping of groundwater has resulted in severe settlement problems in certain areas. This is also true in tunneling work. When they constructed the Mount Baker I-90 tunnel the residents above were concerned about settlement of their land - In fact after coal mining, the mines are supported by columns or non-hazardous materials such as fly ash is pumped into these caverns to prevent collapse and future land settlement. In Florida there are chemicals that can dissolve easily in the presence of water - that is why they have the problem with sinkholes.
If you are interested in reading more, you may want to visit the USGS site on land subsidence due to liquid extraction….
Also, if you go into google and type in "pumping of oil subsidence" you get some interesting information/pictures on how oil extraction has affected different regions.

Kind of cool, eh?

Michelle's Nightmare

It was so awful. I was working from home, but I still had my same job. All of my bosses (boss, medium boss, VP) had offices in my house and so did Joanne for some reason. I had fallen asleep in Joanne's room the night before and when I woke up in the morning, I went to work, which was in the living room. My boss was sacked out on the couch. I started working. I had my laptop plugged into the TV, using the TV as a monitor.

People were in and out of the living room, just like my real office. They kept asking me if I had seen the show yet? I hadn't and, in fact, I had completing forgotten about the show. I went to my bedroom, which double as my medium boss's office. Stuck to the doorframe were a dozen phone messages for me that I had missed because I went straight to living room from Joanne's room. All of the messages were telling me to check out the show. My mom had sent a tape of it to me in case I had missed it.

I popped in the tape and the show was all about blogs and how the media and celebrities are using blogs these days. They showed a focus group who were viewing some blogs and talking about them. They showed one lady who was making comments about women's interest blog that I ran and there was a quick reaction shot of me and that was it. I looked really nice in the shot and the blog was presented in a good light so I was pleased.

This is where the dream took a turn for the worse - as if running an entire business out of my house wasn't bad enough. I popped out the tape and on the TV screen in the bedroom, my medium boss's email came back up on the screen. Someone had sent him a copy of an email I received talking about a contract that I was about to sign with another company. So, he knew that I was planning to leave. I was super panicked and I put the tape back in so that his email wasn't on the screen anymore and he wouldn't know that I saw it. Apparently, at the end of the tape was some extra footage from the shoot. I was horrific looking. I looked like I weighed about 500 lbs. and I was UGLY. I was so sick to my stomach watching that and I felt like I was going to cry. I turned it off and I shouted, "I am never leaving the house again!"

Meanings courtesy of

Home: To see your home in your dream, signifies security, basic needs, and values. You may feel at home at your new job or you finally feel settled and comfortable in a new environment.

Office: To dream of your work office, indicates that you cannot seem to leave your work at the office. You may be overworked or have too much on your mind. Alternatively, it symbolizes your status, accomplishments and your place in the world.

Boss: To see your boss in your dream, represents the bossy or authoritative side of your own personality. Your boss may reveal self-confidence and the assertive aspect of yourself. It is telling of your issues of control and authority. Negatively, the boss in your dream may symbolize your limitations and lack of freedom/originality. Consider also the relationship you have with your boss. This may provide clues to work-related issues that need to be resolved.

Coworker: To see your coworkers in your dream, highlights aspects of your waking relationship with them, including difficulties/support. It signifies your ambition, struggles and competitive nature. If the coworkers in your dream are not your actual coworkers, then they may pertain to some psychological business that you need to work on.

Laptop: To see or use laptop in your dream, suggests that you need to be able to reach out and communicate with others in any circumstance.

Television: To dream that you are watching television, represents your brain, mind and its flowing thoughts. It shows how you are receiving, integrating, and expressing your ideas/thoughts. The programs you dream of watching is an objective view of the things that are in your mind.

Bedroom: To dream that you are in the bedroom, signifies aspects of your self that you keep private.

Message: To dream that you are receiving a message, signifies changes in your affairs.

Tape: To see or use tape in your dream, signifies unprofitable work and fruitless endeavors.

Fat: To dream that you are fat, signifies a fortunate change in your life or you may be overindulgent. A more literal interpretation of this dream is your fears of gaining weight. You have a skewed perception of your own image which may stem from low self-esteem.

Ugly: To dream you or others are ugly, signifies aspects of yourself that disgust and repulses you. These may be feelings you have rejected or repressed.

ADD Cleaning

This Saturday will be cleaning Saturday. I know I've been commenting that I need to be cleaning for several weeks now. I also know that I actually have done some cleaning last weekend. Here's why cleaning takes me so long, in a nutshell... I have ADD when it comes to cleaning. I will start on one thing when it comes to cleaning... then maybe clean for 30 min and then take a break... of about 15 min although that sometimes bleeds into 20. Or I will start to clean one thing, then midway through think, oh I really should do this before I finish that... except that this will totally negate all the work on that. For example, I pile my mail and other crap on the fold out piece of my sewing table. I cleaned most of it off the other day... except a few cook books and like 2 other things that I needed to put away. So then I went to clean some other thing, and all of a sudden there's all sorts of crap piled back on the fold out piece. Sigh. My sister will come and my apartment will look like a tornado has it it and she will accept it, because well she grew up with my parents too and inherited the packrat clutter gene.

Apprentice 3

Also, if you are a watcher of the Apprentice 3, I like the fact that the fired candidate cried this epi. Yes, he or she was not the greatest candidate ever (I'm trying to be as vague as possible because I know Matty Patty hasn't watched the epi yet, although I like to be spoiled, I respect others' right not to be). Yes she or he was probably not going to be in the final 2. I know that if I were ever on that show, I would totally cry and I kind of like the fact that the Donald was so nice to him or her. He might be human after all. HOWEVER, I don't love that NBC made the boardroom to be this yoooge drama in their teasers and promos. It so wasn't. I was expecting something far more dramatic!

Sonofabitch part 2

Dammit! I thought I couldn't die on my video game. When I play the action/adventure/kill monsters type, I save often. Since I figured I can't die in this one because it is a solve the puzzle, figure out the solution type. (Think Myst). I was wrong. I died. And I have just spent the last like 2 hours figuring shit out. Of course, now I know it all, so it won't take as long, but still...

Thursday, April 14, 2005

2 different things

My new video game scares me. I am exploring an Egyptian tomb where the rest of the team has disappeared or died. There's a mysterious music playing in the background. It isn't the type of game where my character is going to die or I have to battle anything so I know that I shouldn't be surprised. But it is all creepy and I live alone and the only music is the eerie music. And yesterday while playing, (on my laptop) my CD tray opened and hit me in the leg and startled me. It's just so wrong. :)

I had a good chat recently with someone I've needed to talk to but have been putting off. I'm feeling a little more optimistic about things now that we've had it.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

2 odd things

Do any of y'all remember the Seinfeld episode where Elaine thinks it is brilliant to open a cafe that just sells muffin tops. So they make the muffins and sell only the tops but have all the stumps to get rid of and she tries to give them to a homeless shelter, only they won't take them. There's a place here in Seattle that sells just the tops. I only know this because in the bookstore where I work there is a display of packaged muffin tops. I wonder what they do with the stumps?

Did you know there was an NBA channel? An entire channel devoted to basketball on TV. I'm fascinated. It was on in the bookstore when I was in there yesterday and again today. Who would watch old basketball games from the 80's? That's what has been on both times. I can tell they're from the 80's because they are still wearing the short shorts and the knee high basketball socks pulled all the way up. Here's where you can tell I'm not a true true sports fan. I don't see the point in watching a game more than once. You know who wins, why keep watching the same game over and over. Now if it was watching last night's Veronica Mars episode, I'd watch THAT over and over and over again.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Make a kid happy...

Well, my older niece informed me today that she is turning fifteen. Let me pause for a moment so that can sink in. FIFTEEN! I haven't spent significant time with this kid since she was 11 (I think). How can she be fifteen already?! How does this happen? Where was I?* Anyway, I was asking her what she wanted for her birthday. "Rainbow flip flops" were her answer. Now I'm a child of the 80's so you can probably imagine what I was thinking... those webbed strap things in rainbow colors with the black rubber/(plastic?) soles, they were usually 8 bucks at K-Mart. I would be completely incorrect. Rainbow flip flops are a brand. An expensive brand. I just bought my niece $45.00 flip flops that LOOK (although these are leather so...) just like the ones we used to wear that were 8 bucks at K-Mart. However, in her own words:
Rainbows are the BIG thing out here and I tried on a Pair and they were SO COMFY!!!!!! So I want them for the confort not the whole BIG FASION THING!!!!
What's an aunt to do if not comply with the whims and wishes of nieces & nephews? Really?

She's also in a tizzy because her father (who I usually refer to as Satan) won't let her go to the prom with a kid who is 2.5 years older than she is even though he is 3rd in his class and going to the Naval Academy. Her youth pastor (?!), confirmation teacher (??!!) and another teacher are all okay with it. And he lets her do other stuff with the guy (in a group not one on one), just not THE PROM. Poor kid... I wouldn't want to be 15 again for anything. (21 on the other hand... ;) )

*As you can see, I don't cope really well with the whole aging thing. There are a lot of people in my life I don't see very often (if at all, I haven't seen this niece since her mom passed away in 02) so in my mind they are still kind of the age I last saw them. I have a hard time realizing they are older.

I don't want to be here!

I've never considered myself to be a seasonal affective disorder kind of gal. I like the rain. Usually I like the gray. I lived in Alaska for 5 years without trouble, but this morning for some reason...

I did not want to get up.
I did not want to shower (so I didn't).
I did not want to get dressed (so I put it off as long as possible).
I did not want to go to work. (so I was late)
I do not want to be here now!

I want to be at home.
I want to be in my bed.
I want to be dozing in and out of consciousness, perhaps with some nice calming music in the background.
I want to have a warm, furry ferret curled up by the small of my back providing a little extra warmth (because damn they are like furnaces!).

Monday, April 11, 2005

Are they trying to tell me something?

I logged into our EAP (employee assistance program) because I'm working on a benefits survey. I guess seeing as how my job is benefits, I should have some idea of what the EAP offers and what their site is like. On the home page welcoming me I see the following message:

Highlights for Joanne .
Eating Disorders: An Overview More...
Alcoholism-The Disease Of Denial More...
Understanding Common Phobias: What Are
You Afraid Of? More...

Do they know something I don't know?? :) Should I be worried? :)

Well if the stars say so...

Michelle & Matty P have both told me in the past that I hang on to friendships that I shouldn't. They aren't doing anything for me but wearing me down or making me crazy. Moral Turpitude was an example of this actually. Apparently even the stars are telling me this, given todays horrorscope...

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The more you do with friends or the more involved you become in your community, the more you will get in return. Consider the relationships you have with different people, and if you haven't been getting anything back, you may want to let go. 4 stars

Spiritual undertaking

I had a post that I wrote last night, and in a fit of self-censorship I deleted it this morning. It was too dark and maudlin mostly attributable to the quantity of alcohol I consumed last night. But in the light of day, I decided that I didn't want a reminder of last night posted for the world to see so I pulled it (or really I just didn't want to be reminded of it either). However, there was a pertinent part that now that I'm sober I may be able to more coherently express my thoughts.

When I was 12 years old, I was in class and discovered a word, atheist. And I realized that described me and my lack of beliefs. My mom is Catholic. When I was 5ish we were still going to church. We had a hell fire and brimstone kind of priest. I attended CCD (religious/confirmation) classes. Then we randomly stopped going and that was that. My mom kept some of the more weird aspects of Catholicism. She is a big fan of the saints, and frequently requests their assistance. We didn't eat meat on Fridays during Lent. When my sister died, she fought with Satan (heinous ex-brother in law) over the right to bury her body because (despite Vatican 2) Catholics don't cremate. I can remember as a child listening to how Jesus died for our sins and wondering why? I didn't ask him to. How could I have done anything that bad, I was just little.

Fast forward. I have gone with friends to their various churches. I have been to a Methodist church, Southern Baptist. At some point I've also attended Mormon Temple and an Episcopalian church. I've had rather interesting discussions with a member of the Baha'i faith. In college I read a lot about Buddhism, it seems to be the belief system that most meshes with my values personal belief system. I've always wanted to believe in something... but never found the ability. I can't believe in the Christian theory of male entity controlling everything. That's just too cruel for words. I like the concept of the universe in balance. Even down to the smallest molecule, the universe wants balance. The sharing of protons and electrons making bonds that form water or air or whatever. (Damn my chemistry teacher would be proud... something stuck, except he was a crap chem teacher). So there's good and there's bad, and maybe I look too locally instead of globally but sometimes I feel like there's only bad around me. It has been on my mind again lately. Belief, higher power that sort of thing. Maybe it is working for the Catholics... especially now that the pope has died. Matty P sent me a link to this group, Soka Gakkai International (an American Buddhist group). He thinks they may be what I'm looking for. I may check them out. Buddhism has been the one thing I've felt the strongest pull towards.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

What a day!

You have those great days where you just get a lot done and feel ever so happy? Today was one of those days. I did laundry, went shopping and bought a new video game. I hit the grocery store. Came home and did dishes and cleaned the kitchen. I boiled chicken and made 5 little bowls of chicken stock and used the chicken to make amazing chicken & cheese enchiladas. I baked banana nut muffins. I bought some beautiful roses and now they are in a vase on my sewing table. Life is good. I think I'm going to head back to the gym tomorrow. It's been far too long.

Sometimes I'm just dumb

I have a slight headache. Ok I am slightly hungover... Anyway... I just went into the kitchen to grab 2 asprin. I grabbed 2 pills, came back to the living room and took them... And then realized that those weren't asprin I just took. They were my regular evening pills, so I won't die or anything... but how dumb do I have to be?


Who in the hell is up in my building and doing laundry at 7:30 in the morning?! I'm the only one usually up at this hour. Dang them. :(

Saturday, April 09, 2005


Someone is torturing me and cooking bacon. I LOVE bacon. The smell is tempting me and I am fighting the urge to go out into the hall and stalk the bacon cooker. I could make a new friend in my building that way... ;)

Friday, April 08, 2005


I want to go to China. I want to go be a tourist. I want to go with some tour group and visit the Great Wall and see the Forbidden City. I want to see the Terra-cotta Warriors. Matty P is a big fan of goals. I think this may be a goal of mine. In 2 years, I want to save enough to take a 10ish day tour of China. I'll admit it, I don't want to have to figure out the intracies of travel there on my own. I'd much rather pay a tour group and ensure I get to see cool sights. We offer Chinese language classes at the U, perhaps I should sign up for one of those... Could be a good idea to learn a tiny bit of the language so I'm not completely helpless.

Also, I emailed a professor of geological and environmental engineering my oil drilling question. I'll let you know what the answer is. :)

2 Random thoughts/questions...

One is completely evil and I'll admit that...

1 - Do you think Michael Schaivo is somewhat grateful to the Pope for dying. It totally takes the heat off him?

2 - And I'll admit to my ignorance of the earth's subsurface. But, we pump out all this oil or natural gas or whatever, why doesn't the earth collapse in those sections and take you know, half of Texas with it? In my mind oil veins are kind of like these big under ground lakes of oil. When you suck the oil, wouldn't the land collapse... kind of like when liposuction happens and the fat is sucked out and the skin gets flattened? Am I complete idiot for even thinking this way? :)

Proof of Dorkage part 3

According to Play Mash dot com, workcrush and I are totally MFEO. We will drive a pink Toyota. We will have 2 kids and live in an apartment in Australia. I will find work as a bartender. This is if I use lucky number 10. :)

Lucky number 17 gives me workcrush again, driving a yellow Toyota. We will have 6 kids and live in an apartment in Fairbanks. We will own a bookshop.

Really I have to stop this but it is so geekily fun. It totally takes me back to 7th grade and drawing the board and putting (wow, lucky number 14 also gives me workcrush... is this a sign?!) anyway, where was I... takes me back to 7th grade and drawing the board and putting the names of boys we liked and giggling... we also added RPM (rich, poor, middle-class) and one other set of codes that I can't remember.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Proof of dorkage part 2

Once upon a time Matty P had a rant on his blog about a yahoo search that resulted in a hit. The sentence... "I'm such a big lesbian." I think I may have trumped him... The search that resulted in a hit to mine: Why does Joanne have a big fat ass? I am traumatized. I seriously may need to look into therapy over this one. I guess I can't complain too much, I also got a hit based on 'florida stripper in a firehouse.'

Also, I decided this morning not to shower. I work in an office, how stinky can I really get. I was feeling lazy and tired and the extra 30 min was better served sleeping. As I was getting dressed at 7:30, (I really really need to LEAVE by 7:40 to be on time to work even though I walk.) I make the random decision to put on a skirt. And as obsessions can be with me, once I've decided something, I'm not really going to change my mind. However, here's the problem... I haven't shaved my legs in several weeks. I wear pants all the time, I live alone, what reason do I have to do it on a regular basis? None. Now, here's where normal people would abandon the plan, but not this heroine. I did not abandon the plan. I stood outside the bathtub, wet down one leg and shaved, the whole while the other leg was slipping on the bathmat on the floor because it doesn't have the little sticky stuff on the bottom that prevents it from slipping. Then realized it was stupid to stand outside the bathtub as I tried the 2nd leg and stood in the bathtub. I cut the right knee about 8 times. But now I have newly shaven legs. Newly shaven legs this color. Can barely see that, can you? That would be because the words are white... with just a hint of pink. Which I am now exposing to the world on a totally rainy Thursday because seriously, sometimes I'm a freak. BUT, there is an upside to this story, I got complimented on my skirt 3 times this morning. Everything for a reason I suppose. (Unfortunately none of these were from workcrush who probably seriously thinks I'm a freak)

Wednesday, April 06, 2005


I am such a dork. It is unfathomable how I've survived this long sometimes. Today I had stopped to talk to my buddy who was sitting on a set of stairs in a hidden hallway. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a guy approach. (Both of these work with workcrush). I turned around to get out of the way, unaware completely that workcrush had also walked up and was right behind me. So I did some weird little noise/high strung reaction. Seriously, I just need electrical tape holding my glasses together and an annoying laugh and the complete and total freakage that is me would be complete.


Am I the only one on the planet who still didn't know what FICA was? I work in human resources for christ's sake, and I never knew that FICA is Social Security. I always assumed that Social Security came out as part of the whole big tax deduction. I'm paying for old people to eat cheese! I'm emailing my dad, he's on Social Security. He's going to pay me back for all my FICA payments. It isn't like I'm going to benefit from all that cash when I'm his age.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Damn, I am a fine cook!

I love to try new things when I'm cooking. I had some left over bacon & cheddar mashed potatoes from Sunday dinner. I bought some thinly sliced steaks and put a little garlic and pepper on one side. Then I wrapped the bacon mashed potatoes in the steaks and put them in a baking pan. And baked in the oven at 350 for about 30 min or so. Then I sprinkled more cheese on top. They turned out so yummy! I'm frequently shocked when one of my cooking experiments turns out well. Mostly because I just throw random things together and hope for the best. Sunday night, when I cooked steak (again? I have been having a significant red meat craving lately), I put some vanilla, chili oil and water in a little cup and poured over the steak. Tasted pretty good.

Still mostly grumpy, in case you're interested.


I'm really grumpy again today. I didn't sleep well last night. My lungs feel kind of heavy or itchy... hard to tell and hard to describe. Now the question is... did I feel grumpy before I read my horrorscope and it is correct, or did my horrorscope subconsciously trigger grumpiness?

Pisces: You woke up this morning with the urge to cry for absolutely no reason. No conscious reason, at least. You're not sad, you're just feeling extremely sentimental. Now that can be good or it can be bad -- and if you're not in a situation where you feel comfortable expressing your feelings, it can be awkward. Oh, well. When all is said and done, no one will ever accuse you of being a phony. And think of the sympathy! - I don't want sympathy dammit! I just don't want to be grumpy.

Gah! My tastebuds

Here's a rule to live by (apparently one I had never learned). When you're sealing envelopes, and the envelope moistener you've been using isn't doing that great a job... DON'T just lick the envelope anyway to try to moisten the envelope. Obviously I didn't learn at age 5 not to eat paste! :(

Monday, April 04, 2005

Most exciting news...

Yay! My baby sister is coming for a visit in April. Without her baby. So it will be just us wild and crazy, swinging single gals about town. I'm not sure what will be fun to do, but at the same time won't traumatize me, her big sister who hasn't really really gotten over the fact that she isn't 14 anymore. :) I'm guessing there'll be a field trip to Nordstrom's Rack and most likely a straight bar. Hmm... a straight bar, probably we'll have to field trip to Pioneer Square. I think the few straight bars on the hill may be too much for her. :) Or too much for me, her big, mean, over-protective sister, to let her go into. Except the Garage. That would be okay, but that's just a pool hall. Whee!! A visit! Damn... :( Now I HAVE to clean and not just hypothetically. :)

Sunday, April 03, 2005


Who am I kidding? I won't go to any of these shows. I will continue to pine in silence, and it is quite possible (probable) that I have created workcrush into something he is most likely not. Although my coworker who was going to fix us up (and didn't follow through damn gay boys) thinks it could've potentially worked. Whatever. The reality is I'd rather be chased for a change. And stalking is just more of an effort than I can cope with these days. Also, I'm watching Love Actually which never helps this whole feeling. Really, now I have to counter with a movie about something blowing up. Dammit!

Sunday Adventure Misfire

Today was supposed to be a very busy day. And it was, but not for the right reasons. It started out as every Sunday does... Laundry. I was supposed to meet Matty P at 11:00 this morning for us to go to brunch. One of us got confused and didn't set the clocks for daylight saving time. The other of us broke out the cell phone and made the very first call on it at 11:00, to no answer. So the other of us headed into Caffe Vite for some OJ and reading. I read the Capitol Hill Times and The Stranger. At 11:45 I gave up and tried to call him one more time. This time getting him actually and pointing out that despite his fervent belief that it was 10:45 and he had plenty of time, (which since he hadn't even gotten in the shower yet if it HAD been 10:45 and we were meeting at 11:00 did he REALLY have time?? But I digress) it was actually 11:45 and I had almost given up on him. At about 12:05ish he emerged and we joined up to head for lunch. Matty wanted to go to Bings Bodacious Burgers in Madison Park. That's 40 blocks from where we started. We walked and walked and walked and got there at about 1:00. Now I have to be at the Girl Scout Splash party at 2:30 so we're pushing it on time, but that's my own dumbness. We eat, and go to catch the bus back towards downtown. At 1:56 a bus is supposed to come by. One does, but it is the wrong number... completely. Apparently that was the bus we were supposed to get on. At 2:26 the next bus is due. Sigh. We catch that one and then I get another and I make it to the party at about 2:50. None of my girls are there. None. That's so freaking frustrating! I hang out for awhile longer. At about 3:15 I give up and start my trek home. I was going to go via bus but started walking instead. I kept walking through various streets trying to avoid having to hike up a BIG hill (as opposed to a small hill). It made me kind of sad... Some of these houses could be so beautiful... and they were so trashed. I wanted to rescue them. On my way home, I call Matty (3rd cell phone call on new cell phone I may be in trouble.) to see if he wants to go to coffee. First he says yes, but then once we get back in QFC area he changes his mind. No big deal... I head into QFC to grocery shop. Mmm red meat for dinner. While I'm wandering the produce section of QFC, I realize someone is It's Matty. Scared the crap out of me. I'm never fond of that. I picked up some Dove ice cream things and some Spire Mountain cider, which I'm now consuming. After all this walking and field tripping, I deserve it!

One of the places stalking victim's band is playing is an apple blossom festival. Matty P suggested I field trip to it to check out the festival and all that and be all cool. Except the festival is almost 3 hours away... and looking at the schedule of events on that day, I can't be sure it wouldn't seem as artificial as just randomly showing up at one of the usual bars. Now another way to stalk, he will be playing down at the EMP on the same weekend as Memorial Day weekend, which is when I'll be down there anyway volunteering at the Northwest Folklife Festival. So that could work and be more subtle than the alternative... Or I just give up the whole thing as being far too... hmmm... what's the word... stalkerish. :)

Hi, I'm Michelle. I'm a shopaholic.

The husband and I just returned from a spontaneous road trip. To Vegas. To buy a purse.

A few things before bed...

My mom's pope died today. I'm sure you all knew that. I'm sure you didn't all know that technically I'm Catholic. Last night she IM'd me about him being sick but that she thought he was going to get better. Me, being the bitch that I am, replied with something like once the kidneys fail, it's a pretty safe bet the rest is going. So she replied with something about being like Schindler and where there's life there's hope. It didn't dawn on me that she was referring to the Schaivo case (which I'll continue to refrain from discussing with her or anyone besides Michelle actually). I forgot that's what the parents were named, so in my mind, I'm thinking what does the movie Schindler's list have to do with anything... Luckily I didn't say that to her because that might've sent her over an edge. I didn't reply to that at all. It's funny, growing up, we celebrated random Catholic traditions. She's big on saints. We call to St. Anthony all the time to help her find stuff. (We being she actually). We never ate meat on Fridays during lent, although we didn't actually have to give up something for lent like most Catholics do. We (my little sister & I) were never confirmed. I've never been to confession. Yet when my older sister died, my mom fought like a maniac with Satan (my heinous ex-brother in law for you newbies, not the real guy... although he could be) to get my sister's body released to her so that she could bury it. Satan was going to cremate and scatter ashes. My mom couldn't cope with that. As a pre-Vatican 2 (?) Catholic, she couldn't get over that basic tenet that says thou shalt not cremate. She won, and spent her own money to ship the body, and bury my sister. I know it isn't what my sister would've wanted, but she's dead... it isn't like she can care anymore. That's actually my view on the whole thing too. Take whatever organs you can use (although with an autoimmune disease, that may not be too many - they won't let me donate bone marrow) then do whatever. It isn't like I'll know what happened. V & I discussed his funeral semi-recently (a couple months ago). He wants carnations and music by the Smiths. Carnations. But no baby's breath... which I guess is a good thing. God damn... how did this part get so melancholy?

Despite previous reports, I did NOT have a date tonight. ;) I'm now watching Green Day's VH1 Storytellers. The more I hear American Idiot, the more I'm liking it. Strangely enough, American Idiot (the song) is not my favorite on the CD. I'm partial to Are we the waiting, Holiday and Boulevard of Broken Dreams. I'm also liking them. I've never seen too many interviews with them, but they are funny on this show.

The cell phone may have taken over my world. It has an allure. This is why I've avoided it too long... Secretly I fear I'll succumb to its charms and it will own me. :) I haven't actually made a phone call on it or anything silly like that. :) I've just put numbers into its little phone book. I'm too enchanted by it.

Matty P and I are going to brunch tomorrow, at some restaurant he knows. We were supposed to fly a kite too, but I double booked and I actually have the Brownie swim party tomorrow. Also, apparently somewhere along the way kites became a weird thing. I couldn't find any today at Fred Meyer. (Which failed me! on several levels!)

I ate at my Gluten Free restaurant, Kaili's Kitchen, for lunch today. It was so good! I had mozzarella sticks! I haven't had those since college.

I found out from coworker that workcrush is in a band. This allows for a whole new stalking method. I can now google his name and the instrument he plays and find the band website. (Which I totally did.) Is it crossing a line to attend a function where he is playing? :)

Saturday, April 02, 2005

The dark side

I've crossed over to the dark side. I now own a cell phone courtesy of T-Mobile. I can't get into the back cover to put the little chip or batteries in, but hypothetically... maybe I'll find a way in. And then I'll be a member of the cell phone class. :( It is the pre-paid route so I'm pretty sure this will force me to only use it when I really really need it.

Raven... also known as the trickster. :)

Now ordinarily, I am not a person who pulls pranks. I have 3 reasons for this:
1 - I do not like them pulled on me and with that whole do unto others thing, I don't pull them.
2 - While I'm smart, I'm not evilly clever enough to pull off tricks.
3 - I feel bad when I trick other people.

Imagine my evil glee when I actually came up with not 1 but 3 pranks for our recent April Fool's Day. The first prank, I ended up not doing. I was going to IM Michelle and tell her that I had gotten drunk and done something (or more accurately someone) that I shouldn't have. BUT I was so excited about idea number 3 that I couldn't do it. Idea number 2 was too subtle and it didn't work. Which is fine. In idea #2 I was wearing on my left hand a shiny silver diamond ring. I kept trying to flash it the way newly engaged chicks do, you know making sure to use it to touch my hair or holding papers a certain way. No one noticed. :S Or if they did, they didn't comment. Trick #3 you are all aware of. I wrote, it and thanks to the brilliant editing of Michelle, it came out really well. It was the most cleverest (yes I'm using 'most' with the superlative which is completely grammatically incorrect but really that's the best way to describe it...) It was the MOST CLEVEREST idea I've ever had. And at least 3 of you bought it. Now I know from Michelle KTP IMd her and asked if it was a hoax or not. I appreciate KTP's comment even though she knew at that point that it was a hoax. (And I'm glad that KTP knew it because I felt kind of bad that I tricked her.) The very best part though... better than I could've imagined... Matty P's response. Tricking people I don't know very well, or really at all is one thing. Tricking someone I hang out with on a fairly regular basis? Priceless. I have to quote a tiny part of it here, because it is SO FABULOUS! "What the sweet holy fuck!?!?!?!! ... But I'm just stunned, because I never considered you as a "protests too much" kinda person... Did I say that already?" Now I fully realize I'm gloating. And I should feel bad about that. But I don't. Because really, I'll never get to pull a prank this perfectly again.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Uh- oh

So last night Matty and I went out drinking and dart playing... Met up with his tranny friends, had a gay old time. Hee. When I got home, I was online for awhile, but logged off thinking I was tired, but sleep wasn't happening... Not surprising, I've been having trouble with that lately, so I figured I'd have a little cherry rum and lemonade. It is yummy, and alcohol puts you to sleep, right? Right?! Damn. No lemonade. Now normal people would just give up, but you know how sometimes you get an idea in your head and it makes sense and you just HAVE to do it. Yeah, that's how it was, now I like WANT lemonade. So I throw on a pair of jeans and grab my jacket and head to QFC for some lemonade. (Is this the first sign I'm an alcoholic? :) It's raining, and I'm trudging to QFC in the middle of the night? AA here I come!) As I was coming back in, there was a person I know from the building standing outside. I've spoken to her in the laundry room a few times. Alex locked herself out, and the manager wasn't answering the door buzzer. She and I chatted in the elevator on the way to the manager's apartment – he lives across the hall from me. Anyway, he wasn't home or didn't answer the door when she knocked, so I told her she could come in and hang out with me until she could get a hold of him. It was a little weird but I might still have been a little tipsy. I think she might have noticed that, and told me to please just go ahead and do whatever I was going to do. Really it was just sitting on the sofa, drinking cherry rum lemonade and watching 50 First Dates for like the millionth time and lamenting how much my life sucks. I went inside and turned it on, but could hear her outside the door. She knocked a couple more times on the manager's door before she knocked on mine. I let her in and we plopped down on the sofa. It was kind ofweird, but you know... whatever. Turns out she has an unholy love for Drew Barrymore, too. We were just sitting there chatting and drinking cherry rum. It was kinda nice. And normal. It has been awhile since I have had a female friend just hang out. Hell it's been awhile since I've had any friend just hang out with me at my place. And then she kissed me. And I didn't know what to make of that. It took me a little by surprise (ok it took me a lot by surprise). Shockingly, I was not nearly as freaked out as I would have expected. Really. You know Michelle and Matty P have been planting the idea in my head for months... Ultimately we ended up talking and laughing and yeah a little kissing like all night. I think we dozed off at like 4:30ish. When I woke up (came to?) I looked at the clock and realized it was like 6:30 and fuck! I had to get going to get ready for work. And FUCK my head hurts! She offered to join me in the shower, but...hell no I'm not ready for that. She left to find the manager. I could hear them talking so I guess he just goes to bed early? I got ready for work. We have a date Saturday night. I don't know what the hell is happening. What did I get myself into?