Wednesday, March 31, 2004


I still feel blah today. I don't know why. I don't like this feeling at all. Perhaps just pms and it will pass.

Tuesday, March 30, 2004


V is blue too today! we are going to drink heavily and wear black and be all goth and depressed. (ok the goth refrence may actually be more than we are going to do but you get the picture.)
Ok i really need my journal back. :( I am starting to fear I will never see beloved computer again.

Observations on my life

I have a lot of people who make observations about my life. Humans do it to each other so this is no real huge thing... Which of course would make one wonder where it is I am going here...

The other day I had a discussion with a friend in Alaska. He claims that because of who I hang out with I am going to be hard pressed to find to find a mate. Granted I will give him (and everyone else who makes this claim) the fact that since I hang out in gay bars, it will be hard to find a str8 man there. I accept that and hence, do other thing in order to try to meet str8 men. His assertion, though, was that it is hard for a str8 guy to accept my gay boy. I don't feel that I should ever have to give up a friend for a man. No matter what. And I likened it to if my boyfriend wanted me to give up him as a friend or Michelley. Should I give up that person? hmm... boys are dumb and this really isn't going anywhere is it? I think I feel a little blue today. Prolly pms.

Monday, March 29, 2004


Ahhh... I have just returned from my weekend camping trip. I had a lot of fun and am glad I went. It was very revitalizing, although I think my journal (hand written :( ) may say otherwise. Maybe that's why it was revitalizing... I poured out a bunch of negativity into my journal. I spent most of the weekend doing crafts in the building known as Health House. We also slept there. We were very lucky as health house has running water, heat and electricity. Damn, it would've been like the Hilton except the bunks have one thin mat that is wickedly uncomfortable and since the bunks line the wall, you are sleeping head to foot (or head to head) with another person. Oh yeah and there were 7 other people in the room at least 3 of whom snored LOUDLY... We did a bunch of arts & crap. Just what I needed in my apartment... more crap. I discovered how to make suet. Did you know that it isn't the name for the bird food (which is what I totally thought it was). It is beef fat melted down into a liquid. Kinda gross to make but weirdly interesting at the same time. We went on a hike which was a nice little walk but I discovered my brown shoes are NOT good for hiking in. The soles are so thin, I could feel every rock and twig I stepped on. We walked on the beach and learned about oysters and the sea life. If I were an oyster eater, we could've eaten oysters right off the beach. The advanced camping skills class actually did that. They shucked some of the oysters off the beach and deep fried them. (gross) I got a ride down there with these two girls from my area. Initially the one was a little standoffish but she warmed up. Just like me I guess. Since I know that's how I can be too. It was so beautiful out there. I totally didn't want to come home. I would love to have a cabin or something... but then again... it would be far away from the city blah blah blah... oh yeah and I'm poor. :D They sing their camp songs wrong. But I knew they would. :) If nothing else, the trip made me homesick for alaska in a way I hadn't been lately. But it also reminded me that I can't go back to that anymore. It isn't the same place... wouldn't be the same place. I am more excited and more calm about planning the encampment now. I have a sense of the place and what's available. I am hoping for good things. :) When I got home Sunday I was exhausted. I was so glad to be home. I went to bed at like 9:30 and fell asleep immediately.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

The Plan - Update

So it has been a couple of months since I wrote "the plan." And I figure it is time for an update...

Prong 1 - Up to 45 min by June... We're at 35 min now. I am not actually 100% certian this one will happen. I HAVE to consult a doctor about my lungs. Some days I'm fine, but more and more lately I'm wheezing and really, by now I should be able to climb these hills without wanting to DIE!
Prong 2 - Decrease soda consumption by 1/3. Done. Interesting... I thought increase water consumption was a prong, but it is not so in conjunction with decreasing soda consumption, I have increased water consumption so totally done.
Prong 3 - Increase fruit/veggie consumption to 5 a day by June. Fairly easily I can get 3 done in a day. 5 is going to be work but that's okay. Mostly I can get the 3 done because that's all I eat for breakfast. :)
Prong 4 - Field trip outside capital hill. Done. :)

Time to add new prongs since 2 are done...

Prong 5 - Get finances under control. I make $15k/yr less here than I did in California and have $300 more in rent each month as well as more on all my utilities because I now pay them 100% myself instead of dividing by 3. I also have a rather large credit card debt because when I first moved up here I couldn't find a job and was living on my credit card. Plus I have new expenses like properly taking care of way cute hair. :) I have a theory on how to live within my means, but so far it hasn't panned out and that tax refund (while I Loved it) gave me a false sense of fiscal security. By Independence Day, I want to be able to get through an entire month without going into the red and/or adding to my already ginormous debt... ugh this will take work. But it is very important.

Prong 6 - Cleaning. The bane of my existance. I HATE IT!!! We'll start small on this one. I will do dishes/ tidy up kitchen every other day. Presently, there are no plates, silverware or pots clean and I'm at that place where I wash 1 fork and 1 pot and 1 plate so I have enough to eat with and that's it.

New goals are good. We shall see where they go. :)


I dream of someday not being terrified to see my checking account balance online. Someday...

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Ok so this is a random thing and I keep meaning to post it but keep forgetting... I noticed a Cold Stone Creamery while riding the monorail the other day. It is just slightly south (?) of the Westlake Center/Plaza/Place whatever the hell it is called. It is the simple things in life that make us happy.
My aunt who had the aneurysm is not that old, but it would really be nice right about now if she had some long term care insurance. He regular hospital benefits are about to run out.

Other Grownuppy things

My company is about to offer a long term care policy. I could buy in now and get like nothing rates for the rest of my life (or as long as I keep paying them). Do I do it? That's such a grown up thing to have. It scares me a little... BUT I know that if my sister had had it they could've put her in respite care or in a hospice before she passed instead of my mom doing all sorts of crap before she died. (Of course honestly I have no idea what it was like at that house before she died but still... it would've been easier on my parents although maybe not it is hard to be in denial about a condition when you are in a hospice... who knows). The nice thing is, though, that even if I don't sign up I could get my parents in for our group rates. I will have to email them to see if they already have it or not.
Ok, one thing I like about this writers' group of which I am a part, I may actually be the youngest person in it. One lady was saying something about a crazy thing she did on her 30th bday (going to a nudist resort) and I said that I am turning 30 this year and still in the planning stages for the bday party. She said I was so young that I was still just a child. I may be in love with her a little bit.

Monday, March 22, 2004


I was just walking down the entryway towards the bathroom and singing that little Jewish song to myself "put your hand here in mine dance..." and someone caught me. oops. She smiled though so it isn't like it was too embarrassing...

Some thoughts and reflections upon the past weekend...

Hmmm... How did I live without both a computer and a gameboy? That is the profound questions. Sunday I had no obligations except 1 30 minute meeting. It took me longer to get to the meeting than it did to do the meeting. I spent most of it playing Legend of Zelda on my gameboy and watching 80's movies (and some were 90's now that I think about it). I got up at the ungodly hour of 6ish... Watched Pretty in Pink, Bed of Roses and Fried Green Tomatoes. It was a great way to spend most of the morning.

I was called at 8:40 AM by one of my Brownie moms telling me about the meeting. She said she wanted to call early so she could catch me before I was headed to church. I sure as shit ain't telling her... :)

I tend to wonder if something I've done or haven't done makes me a good or bad person. Yesterday afternoon as I was waiting for the bus there was a young lady trying to get her bike on to the front of the bus she was catching. She was having all sorts of issues, yet I did not get up to help her. Should I have? I don't know... hm.

OMG! I almost forgot... humour from Brewfest... I spent the whole 4 hours pouring beers next to of all beers... Yeti beer from France! HAHAHAHA!! I had to grab a coaster. hee...

My age quiz: It is Saturday Night you...
a) Have donned the latest in halter tops, stiletto heels and have danced the night away well into Sunday morning.
b) Joined another married couple for dinner and a movie.
c) Watched your son/daughter play the lead in the high school's production of South Pacific
d) Fell asleep on the sofa by 8:40 while watching Tarzan on ABC's Wonderful World of Disney...

3 guesses which one I did. :) I think this is a sure sign that I should bust out the knitting needles and the rocker and accept my fate as an OLD lady.

Saturday, March 20, 2004


Hey folks,

I am home from pouring beer at the brew fest and 3 6oz glasses of cider later. :) I am tired. It takes a lot out of me to be so damn chipper to people and fun. I may go to bed early. I was correct brewfest is a haven for str8boys. Unfortunately it also seemed to be a haven for MARRIED str8 boys. :) I did see quite a few that were fun. I was originally assigned to a specific brewery, but was pulled from there before the doors open because this other brewery didn't have any one and the brewery (Snipes not that it matters) had a rep from Snipes there. I was sent to Elysian which is actually a local brewery. Had I stayed at Snipes, I could've spent the afternoon flirting with a relatively attractive (keep in mind I have kind of odd taste and I admit that) brewer... Instead I got yelled at by the Elysian brewery guy because his taps were pouring like crap and giving tons of foam so we put the beer in pitchers and he didn't like that and I didn't know anything about his beers and got some things confused, not that it mattered that much because really there wasn't that much for me to talk about blah blah blah. :) Phew runon... After I was done, they gave me 1 little beer cup and 6 coupons. I tried one hard cider vendor and discovered that it was too beery... prolly a bad move on my part. Then I hit the Wyder's cider booth. That was some good stuff. 2 coupons for 6 oz... I had a pear and an apple cider. I need to check that out in the future. I think RPlace has it on tap. :) As I was heading home, I was going to use my return ticket and catch the monorail, however the monorail apparently broke down today so instead I caught the bus. I can't imagine what it would've been like to be stuck on that thing when it stopped. Walked through the convention center got some tacos. Ate them. Broke into v's apartment (hi V) so I could check my emails... Here's today's horrorscope from ucomics... PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Spend time with people who will lift your spirits and build up your confidence. You will probably meet someone very special who will influence the rest of your life. 3 stars. Damn, why couldn't I have read this BEFORE I was at the brewfest so I would be smart enough to stick around. (OK ok I know I know horrorscopes are really loads of crap blah blah blah but since I still throw coins into practically every fountain I see and I throw salt over my shoulder, I'm a little superstitious) Random side note, I just ran spellcheck on this to see how to spell superstitious and damn spellchecker didn't like a bunch of my words. :) Tah tah kiddos. behave yourselves!

Friday, March 19, 2004

See... this is what happens when I don't have my journal! :D

Dream analysis part 5

Unfortunately I can't disagree with most of Michelley's assessment. I can barely remember the last time a guy wanted me... I mean WANTED ME... not just agreeing to go out with me when I asked... I think part of my fantasy life is that I want to be the pursued... I know it isn't very feministy or whatever, but dammit, there has to be SOMEONE out there who thinks I'm at least kinda cute and would want to keep me around for a while... or thinks I'm worth working for.

I do need more female friends. That's always been a bit difficult for me. Growing up I had like 1 best friend who did everything with me... as I got a little older I had a couple of friends but really only 1 best bud... In college we had like premade friends, you know Kate and Shelley and a couple other girls and I were all in the same orientation group together and/or living together so we got to know each other. Where does one make friends when one is a grown up? (besides craigslist and that's just a bit weird) I am trying to get to know the two women I work with. I think especially one but either would be pretty cool to hang around with. I am neurotic about asking people to do stuff with me, though. Part of that whole low self esteem thing.

Actually, V is the last betrayer of everyone I know is in a relationshipitis... damn him. :) And yeah, after a while it does suck to be the token single girl despite my joy in being single mostly... I think Matt said it in one of his blogs about how it would be just nice to call someone at 3:00 am and say come over I'm feeling scared or whatever... Or to have someone to decompress about your day with... or just to lean on his chest while you watch tv (which for some reason even though I don't find David Schwimmer hot at all, I was day dreaming about his chest the other day)... damn I watch too much tv this is way too romanticky. Hee...

The only thing I disagree with is the random sex thing. I am not that person. It is too hard for me. It was nice when that guy hit on me and he came to my house and all that but afterward I didn't like that feeling. The wondering if he was going to call afterward then much later when I saw him out and he acted like he didn't know me. That sucked. AND it is much easier to go through a dry spell if you don't have one little fling in the middle of it... trust me... I KNOW! (unfortunately)

40 is the new 30

I heard this on the radio this morning. It comes as quite a relief to me. It gives me 10 more years to get my shit together. The gist of the story is that people are waiting longer and longer to do things like get married, have kids and get a good job.

The most asinine quote from a woman on the street: I think age is just a number. Who made that up anyway?

Dream Dictionary Part 4

Ok, I have finished my analysis. It might be too depressing to read, but it comes with recommendations at the end.

I think that the mean lady is either society or the pressures you put on yourself. You feel like you are lacking in feminity because it has been so long since you have felt wanted by a man. Even if you don't think that you feel this way, at least some part of you feels that you need a man's attraction to you to validate your womanhood. This part of the dream is primarily about physical beauty.

Your soul is grieving because you are not in a loving relationship and feel like there are no prospects for one, although that is not actually true. You feel like you aren't measuring up to others because your closest friends and nearly everyone else you know is in a loving relationship.

You can resolve these insecurities by getting laid or by having a spa day or by getting new friends. Getting laid may make you feel more attractive. A spa day will make you feel quite feminine. You don't need to cast off the old friends, but you do need to branch out. You need some friends who are straight women with whom you can hang out and do girly things. It would also be nice if these new friends could hook you up with some straight boys.

Does this sound like a horoscope or like I am putting my Psych degree to good use?


I have been keeping it since a few months before my sister died. I only write in it randomly... when I have something particularly troubling me that I need to work out myself before vocalizing (or sometimes I don't even vocalize, it just helps to write it all down and get the thoughts out of my head). So I can go months without making an entry or make 4 in 2 days... that is very Joanne-like. :)

Eeek! Michelley, your interpretation of my dream is frightening. Like I had all the parts there but now you spelled it all out for me... the evil person... prolly my low self esteem or something equally stupid... or maybe she was a drag queen and represents the fact that I never meet str8 men which prevents me from enjoying my feminine pleasures. ;) Seriously that is one fucked up dream. I hope not to have it again.

Thursday, March 18, 2004


I also find it interesting that you keep a journal. It seems very un-Joanne for some reason.

Dream Dictionary Part 3

I find it interesting that dresses represent a feminine outlook or perspective, but you never actually got your dress in your dream. The mean lady was keeping you from it. I wonder what she represents. Is she is the evil person preventing you from enjoying your feminine pleasures in daily life, causing your soul to grieve out of frustration for not measuring up and realizing your goals? That is one fucked up dream. Seriously.
Dammit, with my computer broken again, my personal journal is on there and I can't write in it. Sorry to say folks, y'all don't get ALL the crazy that is in my head. :)

It is really probably better for you that you don't.

Dream Dictionary Part 2...

So I found a better dream dictionary online just now. It is better in that it has most of my words... but... now that I know what they mean, did I really want them??

1 - Bras - only talks about whether or not I'm wearing one. I am wearing one in my dream but according to the mean lady it is like 4 sizes too big. No discussion about that.

2 - Photographs - Only talks about either looking at pictures or if I am the one doing the photographing... not that I am posing for a photograph (ooh posing maybe I should look that word up - posing wasn't there)

3 - Dresses - To see or wear a dress in your dream, represents a feminine outlook or feminine perspective on a situation. You are freely expressing your femininity. (I'm a girl... who knew?)

4 - hmmm... just beyond dress is dressing... I was trying to get dressed... here's the def on dressing: To dream that you are having trouble getting dressed, signifies that some evil person will preoccupy your mind to the point where you are not able to enjoy your daily life and its pleasure. (What evil person could this be?? The only people I know who are well less than nice actually HELP me enjoy my daily life. :) )

5 - High School - To dream that you have to repeat high school, suggests that you are doubting your accomplishments and the goals that you have already completed. You feel that you may not be measuring up to the expectation of others. The dream may occur because some recent situation may have awakened old anxieties and insecurities. (Except it wasn't MY high school that I was repeating... does that count??)

6 (and finally) CRYING - This one was the most traumatizing to me... what it means... especially what it means to wake up crying - To dream that you are crying, signifies a release of negative emotions that is more likely caused by some waking situation rather than the events of the dream itself. Your dream is a way to regain some emotional balance and a way to safely let out your fears and frustrations. In our daily lives, we tend to ignore, deny, or repress our feelings. But in our dream state, our defense mechanisms are no longer on guard and thus allow for the release of such emotions.

7 - to wake up crying - To wake up crying, suggest the grieving of your soul and that you need to change your ways and how you approach things. (Apparently my soul is grieving. for what?? Probably for being 29 again. This isn't at all the first time I have woken up crying. My soul grieves a lot? whatever... It needs to build a bridge and get over it!)

I must give props to the dream dictionary I found online... They have provided me with all this helpful knowledge.

Dream Dictionary

Ok so I just pulled up a dreamer's dictionary to look at some of the obvious symbols in my little dream story... bras...photographs...crying... dresses... and none of these words are in the one I'm looking at. NOT ONE... However, if I dreamt of a Damask Rose (I don't even know what a damask rose is) I could know what that means... Or if I dream about dates (the food) I can know what that means... especially if I noticed whether the date was fresh or not. Ok so maybe bras (at least in str8 men's dreams) are obvious... but how can pictures/photographs or crying not be in this guide?! Weird...

On another note... If I dream about this guy Kevin (who is not my latest stalking victim but a potential stalking victim) we ALL know what that means... :)


So last night I had this dream that I guess wasn't technically a nightmare, but one of those crying dreams where you wake up and you are still a little crying. (Or maybe I'm the only one that has these...) Anyway... I dreamt I was back in high school and I was at the type of high school that required uniforms. It was school picture day and we were sent in groups to this room where there were dresses for us to put on. This lady kept taking measurements of each girl and telling her which of the dresses would fit. I didn't want her to take my measurements so I refused and just kept wandering and looking at the dresses. Since none of them had sizes in them I couldn't figure out which ones would fit so I finally went over to measurement lady and said that I needed a dress. She wouldn't tell me which ones were for my size, even though there were a lot of girls much fatter than me and she would help them. She FINALLY asked me my bra size and I told her and she said "Oh no, you are an A cup or maybe if you are lucky a B, but definitely NOT a D." I kept saying no, this is my size and she replied with 9 out of 10 women wear the wrong size. So she is saying this in front of everyone and I am getting more and more embarrassed and starting to cry. She whips out the tape measure to take my measurements (and by this time everyone in the room is watching) but I am too embarrassed so I run away. I go to complain to the principal and she is just mean to me so then I wake up. Very weird...

Wednesday, March 17, 2004


So despite my interest and signing up for it, I cannot be a bone marrow donor. It appears my genetic condition precludes me from doing this. *sigh*

Well I'm Back

To work that is... so I have web access, at least while here... and V has thus far been generous about letting me read my email up at his place too so it won't be too bad... oh wait some of you faithful readers (ok all 4 of you) are probably wondering what I'm rambling about. In a typical twist of crappyass joanne luck, beloved computer died on Sunday night/Monday morning. Now, for a small amount of time I was positive that it was even more my crappy luck since my warranty expired March 9th. In a freak twist of potentially good luck, no, my warranty was not expired. My 3 year extended warranty was on top of the original manufacturer's warranty of 1 year. (wow how bitter and cynical I am in my OLD age) Anyway, mailed beloved Jakob back to warranty holder on Tuesday. They'll get it by Friday... repair and turn around time... looking at AT LEAST 2 weeks... Bleh. Oh yeah and it cost me about 80 bucks to send it back to warranty people, BUT I know they will fix it correctly (ok I'm laughing here since I have had such issues with warranty people), and they may be able to fix the keys that are broken on my keyboard! And potentially it could've only been 60 bucks to fix, but potentially it could've been A LOT more and i nullify the warranty if i go to someone else so if something even worse happens before March 2005, i'm better off.

So I get back to work and am anticipating work for me to do. Nope. Boss did it all while I was gone. Apparently it has been a SLOW 3 days.

The past couple of weeks I have been having a really hard time at the gym. I've been tired and not wanting to go and just having a difficult time on the machine. Last week I don't think I broke 500 calories let alone my 600 calories burned. One would think that being gone from the gym for a week would've been bad for me (I did NOT step on a scale after weekend of eating tons of crap food), but totally had no problems. Didn't feel like I was going to die 10 min after I got on the machine... Hit 600 calories (yippee). Managed to keep my speed up to 148 - 150ish... I am very pleased.

Monday, March 15, 2004


I still love hockey! We went and saw the Everett Silvertips lose badly to the Seattle Thunderbirds. It was a pretty good game, although by the 3rd period it started to get a little boring because the Silvertips seemed to have given up. There were also no fights and that's not good hockey at all. The game went pretty quickly.

We met Michelle's friend Rona for lunch. eh. I've never been fond of her. They caught up quickly and we were done in like an hour.

When we got home from hockey, we were starving. Unfortunately apparently the entire downtown of Seattle closes early on Sundays. Who knew?

Sunday, March 14, 2004

Birthday Extravaganza

Michelle and I are half way through my 30th birhtday extravaganza weekend! Now that I am officially 30, I don't really feel as sad as I thought I was going to. It really is no big deal. It is a new box on forms. A new number, but just a number blah blah blah. Friday we went to the Icon Grill for drum roll please... 4 cheese macaroni & cheese with cheese sauce for Michelle and pepper crusted sirloin for me. It was very good but much fancier than we thought. We were 'allowed' to have a table as long as we ate within an hour. Hee... I wanted to say to the snooty hostess & host that it depended entirely on THEIR service if we were out in an hour or not... We were. Then we went drinking and dart playing at RPlace. Yestrerday we shopped downtown. I bought new tennis shoes for the gym courtesy of my little sister. :) Went to gay bingo. It was fun, but there was a bit too much kibbitzing... they just needed to call the damn numbers. Some of it was funny though. V won like 20 bucks. After that we went to the Madison pub. There we had a lot of alcohol... A LOT :) It was fun though. We stood around talking and checking out boys etc. V left while we were there. We left and went to IHOP with Steve. It was much better than when V and I went and we walked out because they weren't serving us. OH YEAH>... almost forgot... Friday afternoon was the great tattoo day. It looks awesome! It is black outlined filled in with a bright blue. I'm really pleased with how it turned out. It is starting to itch though, so I guess that's the sign that it is healing. It's a good thing that Michelle is here, I can't reach the spot it is and make her put the ointment on it for me. I'm sure she just loves that. :) Today... Lunch with her friend from college Rona and hockey. Maybe a barbecue... I'm not sure if Steve remembers offering to have one with us when we are done with hockey or not. We shall see. :)

Thursday, March 11, 2004

40 more hours until 30. :( :(

However only 29 more hours until Michelley gets here for fun filled drunken alcoholic weekend! And only 6.5 hrs left in this work day and then I get to go home and clean for the remaining 22.5 hrs. :| oh only 22 hrs, that last 1/2 hr i have to be on my way to pick her up at the airport. :D

in 49 hours I will be 30 :(

No title just sad

So I read Wil Wheaton's weblog today and it made me cry. He and his wife have a friend with Leukemia. They have been posting about her for a short time now and she just went through a stem cell transplant (her own not fetus cells... more on this tirade in a moment). She is now totally fine. Cancer free... she still has issues from the radiation but they have taken her off a lot of meds and she has been sent home. For some reason as I read her post, I kept thinking that she was going to say Kris (her friend) had passed by the end. Well, she hadn't. For some reason I felt a mixture of relief and sadness. I'm glad their friend is doing well. I don't know these people, never will, but it makes me happy to know that some people do beat it. I guess it made me sad too because I look at my sister and wonder what made Kris different. Okay I know what made her different, her outlook, her support system, her willingness to do what the doctor's told her. One can't play the maybe things would've been different if... game. It is too much trouble.

Ok on to my rant about stem cells. Republicans stay out of my body! that is all.

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Whole lotta randomness:

Dreams - So I had this dream last night that the yeti and I were back together and the whole time I kept telling him that I can't tell any of my friends because they all hate him. He would be so angry because I was hiding him but I said, hey it is YOUR fault. You made me cry for a stupid reason and they are all protective so get over it. It was kind of funny.

We sold 139 boxes of cookies at the Safeway on 15th and John. The moms were kind of funny to me. One of my moms got picked up. He was pretty cute, but I think she is married and really how weird is it to pick up a Girl Scout mom? She is really pretty though. My group was on the side facing the street so we were getting the foot traffic. There are a lot of unusual people on Capital hill. One of the moms said something about having to hold on to her purse tighter. hee. I will be glad when site sales are over, though. Those kids outside trying to sell these cookies! They make me tired!!

On the subject of tired, I fell asleep on the sofa at 9:30 last night. Hauled my ass off the sofa at 10 and went right to sleep. Unfortunately, woke up at 1:30 as if to say ok time for work. I have to get my sleeping act together.

EEK! Tattoo appt at 4:00 on Friday. I called last night (she did call me by the way) and asked to make an appt with Christy. The phone got put down. Picked back up again and judging from the MAN'S voice on the phone still not Christy, still not able to make an appt for me. Phone put down again. Picked up again by a woman this time. Try to make an appt... still not her! Give me a break!! FINALLY get Christy. Make appt. now am a tiny teeny bit freaked out.

Big fun planned for long weekend, now if only boss could remember past 5 min that I am out of office for 3 days. Ugh. She was like, did we talk about this? Um yes... several times... duh. whatever.

Monday, March 08, 2004

more on finances

Bryan and I used to do our finances differently than we do now. The reason was that we combined our finances before we actually got married. Now, I wasn't expecting anything to go wrong, but you never know with these things.

We used to have a shared checking account that we both put an equal proportion of our paychecks into (like 70%) to pay all the bills. ALL the bills: his car, my car, everything. Then we each had separate accounts for the remainder of our checks which was our spending money. This didn't work for very long though because Bryan didn't like the fact that I had more spending money than he did since I made more money. He didn't care that I made more money than him, he just thought it wasn't fair. His problem was money management. He would offer to pay for stuff when we were out together and I would let him. I figured he wouldn't offer if he didn't have the money. I was wrong. At the end of every pay period, I would be giving him money for gas.

Now we have two checking accounts, each at a separate bank. One account is for bills and the other is for spending and we both share the spending account. Since I am in charge of the bills, he doesn't really touch the bills account without asking me first. The only problem with this scenario is that since he doesn't have any account of his own, it is nearly impossible to get me surprise gifts.

I concur

Based on the following pieces from your tale of potential woe I totally agree with your prediction...

1 - And this one is the most glaring - the big assumption that Mark won't make it in football and will be returning from Idaho in 7 months... I (being single) inerpret this as a lack of faith in Mark's abilities. Whether or not he would make it, who knows.. but still... to already assume he won't... why even bother going?
2 - Baby time frame differing... She wants to get preggers 7 mos from now, he wants to wait... I see conflict abound.
3 - The whole finance issue. Not being married, I can't truely state that this is the wrong way, but really, it seems like the wrong way.

FYI michelle... I think my friend Nancy reads this some times too. :)


Feeling blue about being almost 30 and not quite married. Still wish you were, say, 25? Fear not, my aging friends, neither of those things is what they are cracked up to be. To illustrate this, I will relate an example from my own life. Well, from the life of my 25 year old cousin and his wife of less than a year, as told to me by my hairdresser who is dating another cousin of mine who happens to be the brother of the 25 year old cousin. If you think that is confusing, I have about 15 other cousins I could throw into this story. I will give them all fake names in this retelling for no real reason since Joanne, her sister and Volodiya don't know these people. (Who else reads this blog? I think it might see some action once in awhile from the random people who read mine, but not my sister because she is offended by the language. Fuck that!)

Mark and Alyssa were married last year in April. They are both about 25 now. They had both graduated from college, Mark with a degree in English and his teaching certificate, Alyssa with a degree in God knows what. Since then, Mark has been playing football for a semi-pro team (?) and Alyssa has been working at some stockbroker place maybe, following a longish stint at Alamo Rent-a-Car. Alyssa lived with Mark's parents while Mark was in and out of town with football games. They moved to their own apartment a few months ago.

Calia, my hairdresser, told me on Saturday that Mark is moving to Idaho to play football. He will be there for seven months, at the end of which, he may or may not be picked up by a pro team. Alyssa is staying here and moving in with her sister, in fact, sharing a room with her sister, to save money while Mark is gone.

Mark will not be getting paid while he is at football camp. Alyssa makes enough money to cover all of their bills. Pay attention. This is where is gets a bit interesting. Mark and Alyssa have completely separate finances. He pays all his own bills, she pays all of hers. Mark has to get a night job while he is there so that he can make his car payment, etc. Calia said that Alyssa is always saying to Mark, "You owe me money..." Calia said, "Whatever works for them." I told Calia that it remains to be seen if it actually does work for them since they have been married less than a year. Mark will miss their one year anniversary. Alyssa has no plans to visit him while he is gone.

To be fair, Alyssa is supposed to be saving money so that they can buy a house when Mark returns from Idaho. They are assuming he won't make it and will come back home to teach high school and coach football. Alyssa wants to have a baby as soon as Mark comes home, but Mark would like to get a job first.

My prediction: divorce.

To sleep perchance to dream

I slept soooo poorly last night it is ridiculous! Now I'm feeling all crappy at work like I might be coming down with something when in reality it is just that I was up more than I was asleep last night. :( And most of the non-sleep time was just lying there in bed. Not awake enough to get up and read or anything... but not asleep enough to be asleep. Yawn. This will be a LONG day.

Sunday, March 07, 2004

Theme song & Groceries

So I've decided that my new theme song is Please let me get what I want by the Smiths. I was listening to it today and realized it is SOO my song. "So for once in my life let me get what I want, lord knows it would be the first time."

I seem to be in a little bit of a darker mood than usual. Could it be 30 creeping up on me? Oh yes, apparently I'm about to turn 30. Let the cat acquisition begin. :) I'll get over it. Michelle will come visit. We will have fun and I will snap out of this self pity place.

On that same vein, have you ever felt like no matter what grocery line you get into, it is the WRONG one?! I got into the line at QFC today. Only 1 person ahead of me, this should not have been difficult. First the guy offered up his phone number in place of his QFC card. He apparently is too dumb to know his own phone number because it wasn't coming up in the little machine. (Now thatI think about it, I remember when I used to refuse to get those stupid cards, but what's a girl to do? succumb I say). Anyway back to man ahead of me. He pulls out a card from his wallet. Why couldn't he have just done that to begin with? He had the wallet out for his debit card anyway. Now we get to the debit card... he scans it and puts in the wrong pin. He tries again and again. He asks the guy with him what his pin is. No dice, the other guy doesn't know either. Now did you know if you try your card 5 times and use the wrong pin each time, your card deactivates itself? Yes it does. So now the guy has to find another method of getting money for his groceries. UGH.. AND now we have to wait while little grocery checker calls someone to override and save the sale but not put in the pay part. Seriously... why me?!

VolunteerFest 2004

Ugh. I am tired! I have finished the last of the weekends volunteer tasks and am now sitting on my sofa watching TV, eating left over Chinese food and looking around thinking, I'll never get this clean by Friday.

Thursday: A service unit meeting for the Girl Scouts. No big deal. Most people didn't show up. Got some ideas for the encampment without having to actually commit to anything yet. :)
Friday: Volunteered at the Paramount for the musical Oklahoma. Sat around for almost an hour waiting for them to tell us what our assignments were. I don't like that time wasting thing that I seem to have gotten into this weekend. If y'all didn't need us until closer to 7:15, why tell us to be there at six:45? Annoying... and an ongoing issue.
Saturday: We have a cookie site sale at a Hollywood Video store. I catch the bus at 12:30 and am on my way. Get there at quarter to one. Stand around outside of Hollywood Video (which for some reason in my mind is Holiday Video) for like 20 minutes. As I stand there, I'm getting madder and madder. Where are these parents? Why are they always late? Then it dawns on me. I'm an idiot! Our site sale time is from 2 to 4 not 1 to 3! Arrgghh! Logically, there is not enough time to catch the bus and go back to home then to come back so I go into Starbucks and have a cocoa. The girls show up at the right time and we have a pretty good time selling. Since there are 2 other major stores right there, my cookie mom gets us spots at all the stores and we spread out. In less than our 2 hour time, we sell 136 boxes of cookies. We sold out! That was a nice feeling. We have 2 more site sale days coming up and this will be good!
Sunday: Firefighter stair climb. I get up at the butt crack of dawn on a Sunday morning and wander down the hill to the Bank of America tower. I get there by my required time... 8:00 am. I am told to hang out until 8:30. At 8:30 I go to the registration table where I'm supposed to be working and am told to wait until 8:45. You know, they could've just told us to get there at 8:30. That would've been fine. Let me just say about the firefighter stairclimb, YUM. Hotties. It wa a lot of fun and it is a good cause (Leukemia and Lymphoma foundation). I didn't get to take home a hottie firefighter boy though. I just left because I have to get some things done. Maybe a nap. :)

Friday, March 05, 2004

Bubble Gum Pop

Ok I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I like Jessica Simpson's song with you. Mostly I like it because of the lyrics...
Cause with you
I can let my hair down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground
With nothing but a T-shirt on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby as I do now
Now that I'm with you


The Apprentice & Concussions

So, I just watched the episode of The Apprentice, probably my hmm... It is a toss up which I like better, Joan of Arcadia or The Apprentice. Anyway, I was SOOOO glad to see Omarosa leave AND cry. Hee. Definitely an example of schadenfreude (my new favorite word). So on to the concussion part. Once upon a time, many years ago, I worked at a summer camp where we did trust falls off the table. I did one, and the girls did not catch me (years of therapy will it take to get over THAT breach of trust). I fell on my head on a cement floor from a much higher position than the plaster that fell on Omarosa's head. I had a 'slight' concussion. Twenty four hours after my fall and subsequent hospital visit, I was back at work AT CAMP! I am so glad to see her go after ALL that whining. GET OVER IT already!!

Thursday, March 04, 2004


I am not a baby person. I admit this. I accept this. I've moved on. Really I don't like them until they are like 1 1/2 or 2ish. Then they become people and kinda interesting. Until then? Gross. I remember once at Michelle's house for her birthday I think, or something... and there were two babies there. One mom kept trying to make me hold baby. I did not like that. Baby people don't really understand non baby people. They are sure I'll change my mind once I have my own. I'm not so sure about that. :) Where is this coming from one might wonder... this random rant? My boss is pregnant. I am also not a pregnant woman person. We were sitting in a meeting and I guess baby was kicking and she kept saying "see. See him move?" No I didn't see him move. AND as bitchy as this is... I am sick of hearing moans and groans about being pregnant. I also mostly can't see baby on sonogram pics so I usually go 'oh yeah i see the head now' or whatever along with appropriate head nod. Damn... 3 more months of this! However.. since my boss IS going to half time after baby is born I can't complain too much. :)

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Bad relationship karma, can't judge a book by its cover and on and on and on...

I don't think it is that one incident that gives me bad relationship Karma, but add it to my joy in seeing the yeti's misery and that is two episodes of schadenfreude. If I knew how to say that word I would like it. I want to pronounce it shay den freud (like the guy). I'm sure there are probably plenty of other episodes but those are the only two that I can think of right now.

One of my little Brownies is WAY younger than I originally thought and now this is forcing me to reconsider how I view her. I thought she was a 3rd grader based on her height and she is only in 1st grade, and a young 1st grader too. I always thought she was older and so I was always troubled by how short her attention span is. Now I get it. :)

beats me

I am not sure who these Vegas fun peeps are. There is the two of you, possibly Roger, and I must have some other fun friends... We'll see.

Re: The Prom... If that one incident was going to give you bad relationship karma, then I should be in relationship hell (or at least purgatory) right now. So, I don't think you can chalk it up to ill will toward some high school slut. I recently learned that the German word schadenfreude means to take pleasure in the misfortune of others. There is a song by that title in the broadway musical Avenue Q, which is now on my list of things I want to see.

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Vegas baby & Romy & Michelle

So I'm watching Romy & Michelle's High School reunion since apparently there is nothing on tv on Tuesday nights. I think that's why V and I used to go to Karaoke. And it was the scene in the prom where Phoebe said to NotPhoebe that she looks 'so good with black roots and blond hair.' Hee... Totally made me think back to my prom, which I didn't go to. I wasn't invited... and apparently this vindicitve side of my personality has always been around because the boy I wanted to invite me to the Prom and who everyone else thought was going to ask me had a terrible time with the girl he went with. She flirted with EVERYONE else and paid him like no attention. Hee... Maybe this is why I have bad relationship karma? Nunnery here I come. :)

Vegas... Make up my mind about Vegas! :D I'll be there! The only downer for me is that it is right at the peak of our busy time in HR because of the new semester and all the new profs and whatnot, but I'll make it work somehow. My boss should be backish from her mat leave by then. She'll be there at least 1/2 time. So really, who would be the fun peeps you are referring to? :)

the big bash

Now I am back to thinking that I will go to Vegas for my 30th birthday. You guys have to come. I will not be inviting just anyone. All the just anyones will be invited to the regular party that includes family. Only fun peeps get to go to Vegas.

one more box of cookies

I just found out Bryan likes Samoas better than Thin Mints, so you better give me a box of those, too.

Monday, March 01, 2004

Hmm... liberalness vs ...what?

So while I was working on the webpage design today for work, I came across this link. Apparently, I can put in my zip code and discover how many registered sex offenders there are in my zip code area. Of course I did and discovered a whole slew of level 2 and level 3 sex offenders registered in my zip. Now level 2 are a moderate risk of reoffending. And Level 3 are the most likely to reoffend and "commonly have clear indications of a personality disorder." There is this whole spiel about how there are only 150 level 3 in all of king county. This should make me feel better, BUT when I do a level 3 search 5 of them come up in my zip code. Once I add in 98122 (which is SU's zipcode and the zipcode for Broadway), I come up with 36ish additional level 3s. Here's where I'm troubled. The liberal part of me believes that a person can and should be able to live anywhere they want. These people have paid their debt to society and have earned the right to go back into the world blah blah blah... HOWEVER as a female who walks to and from work every day and to and from the bars every night frequently alone.... this troubles me more. It is like the reality of city living is now here. I mean, I've walked through the park at night and been less than comfortable but it has never been a big deal. Now it is like, hey, it could be a big deal. It troubles me that this troubles me because seriously, what are the odds? Not huge. I've lived here a year and a half now with no incidents of anything bad, and probably with a low to completely negligible probablity of anything happening. Now it is more like 'Hey, there ARE bad people out there... and look at how many live close to your house!" It is like when the crack bust happened when I lived in crackhouse row... Suddenly I was very aware of the fact that it WAS crackhouse row. Now I'm not going to freak out or overreact or anything, but it dos make me stop and think a little more than I would've before, which I guess is the whole point according to the sherriff's office.

Stuff's Fugliest Rock Stars

I can't decide my feelings on this show... Thus far I have agreed on almost everyone they've decided is Fugly... which let me say after like the 40th time of hearing that word, IT starts to be come annoying. Anyway, this is a show on MTV2. Thus far, the lead singer of Puddle of Mudd, which I disagree with having that stupid girl way of liking those types of boys who look like they'll kick anyone's ass on a whim, Steven Tyler, totally agree, Tom Petty, totally agree, and some guitarist for the band Adema who is doing the bald head thing with long assy looking goatee... I suspect if the goatee were gone, he would not look that bad. And technically it isn't even a goatee because don't they have the moustache part and not just the chinny chin chin part? Well that's what he has, dyed black and long and really gross looking. Oh, here's slash from Guns & Roses... I won't bore you with ALL the people ... BUT the biggest most annoying thing about this show, all the celebrity interviews they've shown (celebrity being relative, it isn't like Julia Roberts, but it is people in the music and style and comedy sections... kinda like the random people VH1 gets for Best Week Ever) so the 'celebrities' they keep showing are all in front of a Stuff magazine cover with Pamela Lee Anderson Lee or whatever the fuck her name is... her pose is naked, and the way it is photographed, she seriously seriously looks like a barbie doll... The tits are giant (and she has her arms around them to hide the pertinent parts) and her waist from a side view looks smaller than her tits. It is CRAZY! Ok enough random commentations on this show...