Better living through chemistry

I started back on anti-depressants just over a week ago. I knew the signs long before I started back on them. I didn't want to do anything. I felt so anxious.  In reality I probably should never have went off them. I ended up off them over a year ago because I forgot to take them for about a week and realized I felt fine. And I did. And I had been feeling pretty good for awhile. But as these things go I've been frustrated with my job and my life. I felt anxious all the time (due to my job). And even though I've been job hunting (for over a year wahoo) to find a new job, nothing has come about. So I'm back on the Prozac (generic) train. This morning you wouldn't have known I was on them. I was so anxious. I drove the whole way to work just imagining gloom and doom. I was positive today was going to be a really crappy day. Luckily I was totally wrong and it was fine. By this evening I was actually feeling a little more light hearted (of course that could partially be because today is Friday and I don't have to go back to that hell until Monday).  I know they take a little time to work. I can tell they've been doing something because I have had the most intense hot flashes. Christ if this is what menopause is going to be like I refuse to do it.  Luckily those have calmed down now.

I used to be really good at counting my blessings.  Well I never called it that, but that's the gist of it. Thinking positively and considering all the good things that are going on in my life.  I know I'll be able to do it again and I know I'll get back to volunteering again. And I'm glad to be in grad school, even though I'm terrified I won't be able to make a decent enough living at being a librarian. (Although I'm now considering looking into being a corporate librarian. I think that would be interesting for awhile.) I know I'm on the path to good things.  It is just hard to see that sometimes.

Why I'm Over the Pink

There was a secret up on Postsecret recently about resenting breast cancer awareness because of the number of children diagnosed with cancer and how underfunded and unaware people are of it. Steve Jobs died this week of Pancreatic Cancer. A cancer which killed Patrick Swayze and Michelle's father. According to the AP, only 20% survive the first year post diagnosis and by 5 years only 4%.  There's not a lot the physician's can do for it. And yet, you rarely hear about pancreatic cancer.

According to Cancer.gov, the most common cancer is prostate cancer.  Did anyone know that?  They estimate that there will be 221,130 new cases of lung cancer and 156,940 estimated deaths from lung cancer. Yes breast cancer is the 2nd most frequent cancer around. (More estimated new cases than lung), but only an estimated 39000 people will die from it. I won't say that breast cancer isn't significant, obviously it is. But with cancers that are a guaranteed death sentence, maybe we should start funneling some of that pink money along to other cancers.