Remembering Vlad

I've been running non-stop since Sunday to avoid thinking about this. My friend Volodiya died. Early readers of this blog, that may only be Michelle, may remember he used to post here periodically.

We met in college. He was the first gay person who I knew was gay. Even then, I had to have it explained to me since I thought since he had a picture of Marilyn Monroe that must mean he was straight. I was naive, I confess. We hung out through college. When Kate & I had our falling out he was there to pick up my pieces. He took me out to the middle of nowhere to celebrate my 21st birthday where we ate cake and drank a lot and had friends come out and drink.  He's the reason I can type 80 words per minute.  One of my favorite letters I received from him while he was in France complained about how useless the internet was. (This was pre-search engines).  He used to call me up and say "Hey, Baby, what are you wearing?"  My response was always "Nothing but a smile big boy." He would then scream like a girl and we would laugh and laugh. We spent one Christmas break playing Super Nintendo and listening to The Smiths. Only Morrissey understands! 

Volodiya made me laugh and made me cry. He protected me. He drank with me. He supported me when I needed it. We grew apart and lost touch. I missed him and still do. And now he's gone and I'll never be able to apologize. And I'm not sure how I'll get over that.

This is not a post about my work status or my schooling.

Aren't you relieved?

I needed a new skin care regime. My "T" zone was super dry and flakey sometimes. I went to Ulta and was chatting with one of the sales reps. She recommended Dermalogica so I bought one of those kits. I'm now being a grown up and not just using hand soap and regular facial lotion on my face. So far I like what it is doing to my face. It feels nice.  AND I recently got a compliment on my face by a coworker. She said she could tell I'm doing something different.

Bittersweet Relief

My period of unemployment theoretically is over before it even began. I was offered a job yesterday.  I am excited about that. I am relieved about that.  The thought of actually being unemployed scared me a lot. Now I say theoretically I was offered a job because technically I have not received an actual offer yet. I've received verbal confirmation that I'm their first choice, but right now they are calling my references and doing a background check. One of those two things could cause me to fail. Maybe. I hope not. I also don't know how much salary or what start date would be yet so although I may have a job, I'll believe it when I see it. 

The Pros:  in Fort Worth so I don't have to move from my current apartment. In an industry I've been hoping to break into. It is a job with income, hopefully comparable to what I earn now although I know the max is less than I currently earn.  I can rehire the housekeeper. :) (although I won't until I actually get an offer and a salary).

The Cons: It isn't in a library. There's a fellowship I really want which would mean moving in July and quitting which would make me feel badly. (Realistically speaking the odds are low I'd get it but I'm still applying because it would be kickass).  I'll be working full time while juggling 13 credit hours. I was kind of hoping for a little break so I could really focus on school. 

Luckily, I won't start until after comp exam so I'll have a week off between the two jobs. I'm going to DC with my sister and her kid for a little long weekend which I've never been there. I'm feeling really positive about things, which is exciting because it has been a long time since I've really felt positive. (Positivity tweets notwithstanding.)