- Kind
- Wants children (willing to adopt)
- Can make me laugh/sense of humor
- Accepting/non judgemental
- Non smoker & drug free
- Is attractive to me. (I have liberal taste remember)
- Financially responsible
- Has a job he enjoys or is working towards getting a job he enjoys
- Willing to volunteer with me
- Finds me hot. :)
(If I could have an 11 and this isn't really a must have but a would be nice, willing to dance with me on the feet on Broadway)
Update: so I fixed job he enjoys to working towards getting a job he enjoys. I see Michelle's and KtP's point. However, when I say willing to volunteer with me, I don't mean every single volunteer activity I do, but willing to go volunteer someplace with me. It doesn't have to be one of my usual volunteer activities (although I do have quite a variety of volunteer activities), but since volunteering is so much a part of my life, I want it to be a part of my kids' lives and I think in order to be successful with that my partner should do it to so we could do it as a family. Am I possibly being a bit idealistic? Sure. But it's my list. :)
3 comments:
Is 8 really a must-have? That seems like it would be the hardest one to fill.
I agree with PM. Also, re: #9 - why 'must' he volunteer with you? Can't he just support that you like to volunteer and not gripe when you do it? What if you have different ideas of volunteering fun?
I have a couple of things, 1st someone pointed out to me once that even if they have a job they don't enjoy as long as what they are doing outside of it is what they want to do is what matters i.e a waiter that's an artist or like many in the health care profession they have very creative hobbies that are what they want to do.
2nd, this is good advice. I thought I had a generic list in my head of what I wanted (the really long one that every girl has) I finally started to narrow it down to things I had to have. One of which, and this is completely personal and I don't judge anyone else for feeling differently, I don't think that porn or strip clubs have a place in a committed relationship, but I know others find it fine. Anyway I did a rant once on craigslist because I was mad a guy told me when we got married he would buy me fake boobs (I have D's already and it was our second date) and got completely bashed because I mentioned that I wanted a guy to want me and think of me during sex blah blah blah. I guess I am just a romantic :) any way men and women alike told me that I was asking way to much and men have a right to look at that and all this other stuff, saying I am a prude and unrealistic (i am neither or those things) I decided right then, honestly, that if I couldn't find a man that could respect my strong feelings on the matter I wouldn't want to be in a relationship (the alternative was to constantly be disappointed and to make another person miserable as well) After that I decided what was important to me, which seems like an impossible list
1. must want to travel a lot out of the year, (not just anyone can do that because they want a career and my career is a fine artist so I can go whenever wherever)
2. I want to stay home at least part time with my children, I do not want to use a daycare, again how can 2 people with careers do that
3. no porn or strippers when we are together, (we are talking about men here)
I could go on but those are the hardest to fill.
My boyfriend and I met right after I figured out how I wanted to live my life with out a mate which, the list is just a list of what I want in my life that a man would have to fit into to accommodate it. He wants to be a nurse (in school for it) and he had already decided that he just wanted to work doubles on the weekends, which frees up his week and allows me to work and no daycare, he loves to travel and wants to go where ever and live in other countries and nurses can get a job any where, and while he has seen his fair share of porn and strippers he respects me and he's very honest. Not to mention we have very similar marital ideals and what we don't agree on we come to an agreement that we both live with. I was really set on being alone. I had been in a six year relationship and several short ones. He's not perfect and neither is our relationship or myself of course, we love each other and we are pretty much perfect for one another in many ways, but I just wanted you to know that if you know what you want you can get it. Oh and talk about everything before you get married (I hear it's gonna be with in the year :)) We talked about seperate bank accounts with a joint for the house and prenups (both my ideas) how we want to raise the kids and where we want to live. That way there are no surprises. Good luck and sorry that's so long.
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