Struggling

There are two things I'm really struggling with with this whole job search.

1 - I'm trying very hard not to panic and just apply for anything I see. I have been very thoughtful in only applying for jobs that are at my level and in places I want to live. I did apply for two jobs that are a step back. I had good reasons for both. Job a - with firemen. That's all there is to it. :) Job b - is a combined comp & benefits position and I have no hands on comp experience so I thought this might be a good way to get into the comp aspect of things. Interestingly enough, those two jobs are the only ones that have led anywhere yet. I'm still optimistic though. :) I just applied for 3 more jobs this evening and the first 4 candidates we've interviewed in my office for the new boss job have all fizzled out. My boss seems to clearly suck at phone screens. So I'm presuming, hopefully not incorrectly, that my pay cut won't actually occur until the new person starts. Fingers crossed.

2 - The other hard part for me is the whole dishonesty about the whole job search. Honestly, people usually are job hunting in secret. So I put on this very public face of I'm coping well and being a team player and professional and all that while planning on leaving the moment I can. It bothers me a little bit.

3 - I am finding it really hard to give a rats ass about most things. Now that I have a plan in place to leave, I find I couldn't care less about a lot of things I should. I'm going to have to fight harder against that because I still have to do my job.