Monday, May 20, 2013

Dating Dissonance

So I've been doing the eharmony thing for a few months now. I've had two dates (with the same guy) result so far. The guy was niceish, but so blah. He had no opinions on liking things and was just so blah. He was also, and I KNOW this is unkind of me, very unfortunate looking. I really want to believe that people become more attractive when they have great personalities and maybe that was the problem - he didn't have a sparkling personality.

I'm trying to be as open minded as possible while reviewing my matches and all that jazz, but the reality is that for the most part guys are who they are on the dating sites. If they are a conservative guy who indicate they are a conservative guy, there's no real reason for me to think otherwise and since I am not a conservative girl this match won't work. Giving him the 'benefit of the doubt' isn't going to work. And, as always, I'd rather be alone than miserable with someone. (Or alone with someone). I think I tend to respond, especially if they contacted me first, because I'm so excited someone - SOMEONE - is interested in me. I guess I get worried that might be the only one. Because the way things have been going, that MIGHT have been the only one. I've been alone a very long time. I frequently wonder if I will even be able to maintain a long term relationship, especially as I spend more time alone and dig deeper into my own ways of doing things.


... said...

You know, I am a moderate liberal and my husband of 20+ years is a moderate conservative and it works great. We actually help keep one another grounded because we have different points of view on some things...fortunately we are both environmental which is a biggy for both of us. Just saying, you might not want to discount all matches just because someone is of differing could go on a date and see if they are too extreme for you or not.

VeeBeeinLB said...

Oh, how I feel your angst! There are so many of us out there, searching, trying to be positive, etc. It's exhausting.

My only contacts on OKC have been youngsters or scammers using stolen photos on their profiles. Oh, but I send out emails all the time. And the SILENCE is deafening. Soooo, yeah.