Sunday was Mother's Day. While I was out at breakfast, a place I've eaten almost every Sunday for the past 3 years and have had people join me MAYBE 7 times, and I was wished, by a waitress who has been there 3 years and knows my order without me even saying it, "Happy Mother's Day." In the few days before Sunday, I heard that from several other people. I commented on Facebook that the next person who said that to me was going to get punched, or at the very least a scathing look and explanation that not every woman of a certain age is a mom. A FB friend commented on my sense of humor. Except I'm not kidding. It's painful to be told Happy Mother's Day when you're not a mom and want to be one and so far plans haven't worked out that way. Don't get me wrong. I have not managed to make the types of decisions that would enable me to adopt. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way as Amy at The Peevery peeved about this very topic.
More than that, though, and the part that bothers me is this presumption that women of a certain age are moms in a way that would not happen for dads. I'd wager that when I go to my breakfast place on Father's Day the waitstaff will not be wandering around wishing random guys at the tables "Happy Father's Day." At Wal-Mart or Target the checkers won't be wishing the guys in their lines Happy Father's Day. In fact, I'd wager most men would be uncomfortable with people randomly wishing them Happy Father's Day. So why is it acceptable to do it to women when it doesn't happen to men?
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