the rain rain rain comes down down down

While walking home it started raining. Then it rained harder. Then it hailed. Hail hurts. But the dumbest part of this not very entertaining tale is what I did when I got home. I pulled off my shirt because it was soaked and then I could hear the rain dripping in my bedroom window so I went over and opened the blind to close the window. Opened the blind. No shirt on. Bedroom window faces living rooms that are so close I could watch TV with the neighbors if I wanted to. Awesome albiet very brief show I just gave the guy next door.

Experimental Cooking

I love it when the cooking I do actually turns out results that are edible instead of gross.

Lyday and I got lost Friday night looking for Wal-Mart out in Lakewood, but we found Fred Meyer instead. Oh how I love Fred Meyer. They had a muffin mix that I have been looking for so last night after going to the movies I stopped up at my grocery store. I picked up some raspberries, blood oranges and raspberry yoghurt. The instructions for the muffins say just add 2 cups water, 1/3rd cup oil and 1 1/4 cup sugar. Instead I mashed the raspberries with sugar and then squeezed 2 blood oranges into the mix. Added the yoghurt and then mixed in the dry mix and more sugar. I wasn't really sure how it was going to work out. After that I tossed in some mini-chocolate chips. Was that too much? Turns out, nope. :) They were really good. I'm excited. That'll be breakfast the rest of the week.

For dinner I had planned on simple pork fried rice. I browned the pork in chili oil with some garlic and ginger. I threw in a little sweet/spicy sauce and thought I was good. Until I discovered I was out of soy sauce. How can you make pork fried rice with no soy sauce? So I poked around the fridge and decided to make it an asian bbq kind of sauce and I tossed in some honey bbq sauce and a little worschester sauce. (then I found the soy sauce in the fridge which is not where it goes.) So then I tossed some soy sauce in too and it turned out pretty darn good. Who knew?

I went to see the movie Whip It last night. It was the preview before the movie actually starts next week. I really liked. I thought it was cute and fun. I really liked all the characters and thought it was well cast. I believe, although I could be wrong, the ladies in the audience who were there from our own roller derby thought it was pretty good too. I have a better concept of roller derby now, although I still don't know what the slapping the waist is about. :)

Now with 50% more Carol Brady hair

I looked in a window and saw my reflection as I was walking somewhere yesterday and realized I had Carol Brady hair... but only on one side. I don't have the bangs across the forehead, and the length on the sides is a bit longer, but that flip in the back... totally there. Only on my right hand side though. I can't wait until this weird length phase is over for my hair. I may do something drastic if it doesn't improve soon. (Also it is too short to tie up, but long enough to hang on my neck so it gets hot!)

Terrified

(Look 3 posts in one day, somebody is feeling better! Ooh and look there'll probably be a 4th post forthcoming too)

Tuesdays interview went really well I think. I could be shooting myself in the foot, who knows, but the person who would be my manager liked what I had to say. I answered the questions well and when I was done I thought, wow I really do know my shit. Look at that. :) It was a good feeling.

The terror... what if I actually get this job? What if I actually have to make a decision? What if I actually have to move?!?!?! I've been talking about it for 5 months, but talking doesn't mean doing. It doesn't mean something is actually happening. I'm not sure I can wrap my head around it all. Maybe a little teeny tiny part of me hopes I don't get the job so I can continue the status quo. Status quo is easy. I like status quo. If I get offered it I will have to weigh it carefully. Portland is not on the 'approved list' so if I wanted to live near Michelle I'd have to move again in a couple of years. But I might be in a better position fiscally to do that (and probably career wise... I wasn't kidding when I told one of the people I was interviewing with that Universities are where employees go to die. We have staff who have worked here 15, 20 even 30 years!) So we'll have to wait and see... (I'll take it, I think... I'm pretty sure... I don't know!)

If I don't get this job, I'm going to take a break from searching for awhile. My boss isn't going to move on with the hiring of a new boss for me. He doesn't think he'll be able to do it so he is going to hire another generalist instead. (I don't know this, one of his favorites told me). Since no changes will be happening I'll get my employee through this year's open enrollment and then begin looking again in November. I do feel badly if I were to leave in the middle of open enrollment. It is a lot of work and it won't fall to my boss... it will fall to the rest of the team and that would suck for them. When I first started this process I had hoped I'd be gone by now. Sigh. Why is being a grown up so hard?

So Innocent

I was watching a couple of episodes of Friends last night and I was kind of shocked at how 'innocent' Chandler was. It was the episode with Julia Roberts and he was:
a - Scandalized about wearing her panites
b - Tongue tied about having relations in a public place
c - When she asked him to wear her panties, he couldn't figure out what she'd be wearing.

It was kind of refreshing and yet at the same time a little bit sad that I consider that innocent. If I watched Gossip Girl or 90120, those kids are probably having sex in the glass elevator in the mall with some guy videoing it and posting it on youtube.

Told You So

One of the things my boss is unhappy with me about is that I'm not innovative in ways to curb medical costs and plan design. The thing is, and I told him this, we have tried several times over the years to make changes to help with our ridiculous costs of benefits for our dependent and family coverage. We always get shot down. I read an analogy once about why you don't smack toddler's hands... if you continue to do so, they eventually stop reaching for things and it can impact curiosity. It is the same situation here. We'd do work and propose changes and get shot down. After awhile you stop reaching. SO... my boss and to a lesser extent me did a bunch of work to propose new coverage levels and new cost for employees blah blah blah. He and our broker presented it to our executives last week. This week... No go. No changes (except a higher cost for dependents yet again as they have no more money to give us either). They want to form a committee to study the possibility of considering forming a task force who will think about the feasability of forming a consortium to ponder the conversation around benefit changes. (Or something like that :) ) I totally want to say "Told you so" but obviously will not. Maybe in my exit interview if and when I get a new job.

The Opposite of Me

The rental car that I just picked up is the complete opposite of me. I like to rent from the Enterprise in my neighborhood because usually they don't have the teeny tiny economy cars. I always end up somewhat upgraded. Today I have a Pontiac G5. It is kind of sporty I guess. Totally not me. It is also bright yellow. It's like Big Bird yellow. It also has a rear spoiler. Seriously. This car could not be more notme if it tried.

I get to submit my mileage to the place I'm interviewing with. Since it is almost 350 miles to Portland and back, I'll be getting a nice amount of cash out of that. So weird to me.

I learned today that bossman refrains about talking about the proposed changes to our staffing because he doesn't want to upset me. It upsets me more to not know what the hell is going on.

Crazy Dreams

Probably I shouldn't eat so late at night, but I had some of the weirdest and yet most vivid dreams last night. The one that really made me sad was that I was dreaming I was pregnant. And in my dream I started miscarrying. I knew that was what was going on, but I wouldn't go use the restroom because I didn't want it to happen. I figured if I just crossed my legs and didn't use the bathroom I would keep it. Obviously my awake brain knows this is not the case but my subconscious was positive that was all I would have to do.

The interpretation from dreammoods.com... not reassuring. I'll chose the last part of the definition if I have to pick part of it.

Miscarriage: To dream that you have a miscarriage, suggests that some idea or plan did not follow through or has gone awry. The dream may also serve as a warning against your continued course of action. You should alter your path or may risk losing something of significance and value to you. Alternatively, the dream may indicate that you have been wronged in some way.

I also dreamt I was back in college and I was just moving into the dorms. I was headed to go take a shower but in order to do that I had to go to this huge shower complex. I left my room but then had to go back because I hadn't grabbed my shower stuff. I actually had packed a little bit of it (but not everything I use in my daily regime). I left again and went to the women's shower and it was actually the men's shower and it was a huge locker room type shower place. I backtracked out and went to the women's side but then there wasn't much separating the two halves and men were totally in our area. So then I left and went outside because all the showers were being used and I was waiting for one to open up. I go back inside to discover I had forgotten all my shower stuff an my camera (why I had my camera in the showers I do not want to know) outside. I went back outside to look and I couldn't find my stuff. I was getting more and more anxious about it and then woke up.

Nice and crazy:

Searching: To dream that you are searching for something, signifies the need to find something that is missing or needed in your life. You may be searching for love, spiritual enlightenment, peace or even a solution to a problem.

Shower: To dream that you (or someone) is showering with their clothes on, suggests that even though you (or someone) may change your outer appearances, it does not change who you are on the inside. Alternatively, your dream may indicate that you are unwilling to let your guard down. You are still keeping up a protective barrier between you and others.

Camera: To see a camera in your dream, signifies your desires to cling on and/or live in the past. Alternatively, it may indicate that you need to focus on a particular situation. Perhaps you need to get a clearer picture or idea.

Clearly this job thing is bugging my subconscious way more than I thought.

A tale of two interviews

I had two phone interviews today that couldn't possibly have been for more different jobs and couldn't possibly have been more different interviews. The funny thing is that I had an idea in my head about which job I wanted and once I was done, I that had flip flopped.

Job 1 - Is a benefits job for a school district on the east coast. The woman questioned me for over an hour with the most weird questions I've ever had, some of which, in retrospect, totally not necessarily legal. Among the questions asked - what beliefs do I have that are unshakable? What organizations do I belong to? What awards have I won? She also asked if I considered myself a perfectionist, how honest am I on a scale of 1 - 5, how do I show people I'm honest... and on and on. It seemed rather rote and not at all interactive. If I don't get called back for that one I won't be very sad. It would definitely be a safe job and I don't think a lot of innovation or creativity or thought will be required from me.

Job 2 - Is a benefits job for a company that is established but not very. When I did the phone screen, I thought I wasn't what they were looking for and I wouldn't get a 2nd call. I was really surprised when I did. This interview was much more conversatinal in tone. The woman seemed to want to be sure I knew what I would be getting into and asking about philosophies of benefits and what not. It got me really excited for what I do. I have forgotten how cool and fun benefits can be. Michelle posted an article to twitter earlier today about how non-profits abhor change. It was an incredibly true sentiment. We've spent years trying to get programs or policies passed and the ideas just die in committee. I would get to help build a benefits program from the ground up and that's just interesting and exciting. The best part about this interview... the very best part... I got called an hour and a half after the interview ended to come down for a face to face interview. On Tuesday. *cough cough* That was an awesome feeling... that someone thinks I can do my job well and wants me. The negative to the job... it is in a place that is not on the approved list. I'd either have to move again after Michelle & Fam did or I would have to just not live near them. Of course I'm getting ahead of myself. Another interview is not getting hired so I shouldn't count my chickens. It'll just break my heart.

Invoking Murphy

I'm planning my trip to CA for Thanksgiving. I'm excited to go. K remembers me apparently and sometimes talks about me so I want to get back and hang out with her. OH and see Michelle and shop. :) I've decided to buy my ticket sometime this week (I think).

I've got a theory... Given that Murphy's Law is a big influence in my world, I've decided that if I buy a ticket from Seattle to Burbank (or LAX?) leaving on Wednesday afternoon and returning on Sunday I'll get a new job offer which will cause me to either have already moved or have to spend Thanksgiving weekend finalizing a move. Either that, or I'll get a pretty good rate for my flight and that'll be just dandy. (I'm seriously hoping beyond all hope it will be the former. :) )

Unrelated to anything else, I just cooked lemon chicken and I added sweet chili sauce. I don't know why I thought it wouldn't make it super sweet, but it is a bit more sweet than I expected. The spicyness is just right, though. Next time leave out a little sugar and it will be dandy I think.

Barefooted

As a child I would change out of shoes the moment I could. I would walk out to the car with shoes in hand and only put them on when we got to the destination. Back in the car I'd take them off again and this would repeat as we went about our errands. I think that drove my family crazy. Although this was back before the 'clickers' for cars so I could just lock my own door and catch up. I used to get chastised for going out into the garage barefoot. We had black widows and other spiders out there and it was my dad's shop so there'd be wood pieces and nails. Seriously in retrospect it was lucky I never got tetnus or a nasty spiderbite. The bottoms of my feet were regularly black from going out the front door barefoot... walking through the cacti barefoot... down the driveway and on the sidewalk barefoot. You get the picture, right. Barefoot is where it is at!

Fast forward to being an adult. I still hate shoes. I sit in my office barefoot when I can. The moment I get home I kick off my shoes. (Doubt it? There's a pile in the front hallway of the shoes I regularly wear which is the spot I kick them off). Hence, shoe buying is always a THING for me. I like comfortable shoes. I like simple shoes. I loathe buying shoes. Currently I'm looking for a black pair for work. I'm hoping to buy a simple versatile pair I can wear with socks and I'll probably end up with some ugly vaguely lesbian pair because that's what I always end up with when I take function over form. Part of me thinks I should wait and see what kind of job I get so I can tailor this shoe purchase to match that... as though this will be the only shoe purchase I make for a year (sadly, it probably will be. I buy shoes in fall for the coming winter and spring for the coming summer and I buy 2 pair max - one black and one brown. Sometimes I buy tennis shoes but not too often). Blech.

Ridiculousness

I'm working on a job application for a position and it requires THREE background checks. Three. One of which is an FBI clearance. Wouldn't you think the FBI would come up with issues if I were a child abuser or a meth head? (Maybe not I don't know...) But the easiest was the criminal background check for the state. (Wouldn't that also show up if I were a child abuser?) I went online and entered some info and I have a certificate indicating I have never been convicted of a crime in XYZ state. Awesome.

I didn't look at the third required check until this morning. One of the things it requires... all of my addresses since 1975 and... and here's where it gets even better... everyone I've lived with since 1975. Given that I was born in 1974, I'm 100% certain I was not a child abuser in 1975. I don't even think I could be considered a child abuser until maybe 1980 when my little sister turned 2. (I'm going to presume I didn't beat on her when she was an infant and young toddler.) And technically since I would have only been six at that point, I'm pretty sure I'm still not considered a child abuser. (Although my baby sister may beg to differ... ) So that puts me at 18. Thanks to college, I lived in a lot of different spaces for 4 years. I'm not 100% certain I can remember the addresses for each of those locations and I'm fairly certain I can't remember the apartment numbers for Anderslum and Little Beruit. I think we were #2 in the tri-plex, but the physical address of the tri-plex? No clue. Then there was the place I lived with with Brenda that had all the dogs. Can't remember anything about that place except it had a lot of dogs. (And what constitutes living? I couch surfed for about a month or two in Fairbanks does that count?) (I think in the past I've put down the PO BOX address I had all 4 years and call it good, but given the purpose of this form, that may not be the right answer).

While I'm walking down memory lane let's recall the quality places I lived in in Alaska:

Little Beruit - You could unlock the door with a butter knife. We were known as "The college girls in the back" and we went on a rent strike and THEY DIDN'T NOTICE!

The Tri-plex - Neighbors were probably drug dealers... they had A LOT of 15 minute friends. Came home one day and there was a girl sitting on the front step staring at her hand. Apparently she was like that when Michelle returned from work too... like half an hour earlier. Guy in the 'apartment' building behind ours shot his dad, in the front yard, while I was home taking a nap and I DIDN'T NOTICE!

Anderslum - All my undies and bras stolen from the laundry. Actually had to call 911 on my neighbor. Bought my own damn peephole and insisted they install it after that incident. And I had the Jehovah's Witnesses coming to my door regularly. It got so bad my friend Katie would yell "It isn't the Jehovah's Witnesses" when she would knock and I wouldn't answer.

Those were some good times. :)