Goals for 2011

As I've long established I don't do resolutions.  I just have goals.  Things I'd like to accomplish.  I didn't make any goals in 2009 for 2010 apparently.  I did find goals in 2008 but those fell by the wayside. So trying again:

1 - I want to get out more.  Maybe do more meet-ups.  It's been 8 months and I still have nobody to hang out with and although I've dated more since moving to Texas than I have in the last 2 years of living in Seattle, I'm not interested in the minotaur so I'll not do that again.

2 - Get a new job.  I hate my current job.

3 - Keep working on paying off debt.  I've been trying to pay more on my cards than min payment and all that but I've gotten a little bad over the holidays.  Sadly I know where my tax refund will be going this year. (Well not sadly this is good and what is necessary.)

4 - Do well in grad school.  I am a slacker at heart.And a lot of this will be online/virtual class. I'd like to do well this time.  (I didn't do horribly in college.  I had like a 3.2 GPA but it would be cool to graduate with honors or something like that). 

5 - Lose more weight.  I've lost about 20 lbs so far.  I can pull all of my pants down without undoing them.  Before I buy  new pants I want to lose more weight so I can go down 2 pants sizes and not 1.  I was doing well about exercising before so I'm hoping to get back into that. If I get the job in Plano I want between that commute and the commute to the college it will get much harder to eat well and be careful about calories.

So there we go.  5 goals.  They seem doable.

Truthiness Day 5

Something I hope to do in life:

I hope to acquire kids. And I hope to get married. And I hope to live in Ireland. I'm not sure if they are mutually exclusive. And I hope to go to China and see the Great Wall. And I hope to get a job I love. That's a lot of somethings I hope to do. :)

Twas the weekend before Christmas

My family all came to visit.  We survived.  Well, not all... the older niece and nephew weren't here.  I think this year may have been the last one I buy them any presents for Christmas.  I never get one from them nor do I ever hear from them. 

With the exception of the massive hospitalization of my mother, the weekend was pretty fun.  Mandy, Kayla and I got to go ziplining like we wanted to.  It was really fun!  Not too scary.  Although I kept flipping around backwards on the line which scared me a little bit since I couldn't see where I needed to start the stop procedure.  (Well and to stop you need to have your feet facing forward to land on the platform)

We went to ICE at the Gaylord Texas.  It was awesome.  It was so neat.  They bring in some insane quantity of ice and they have Chinese artists carve it into various sculptures.  This year's theme was Charlie Brown's Christmas.  It was so beautiful.  (Well and cold!)

After that we went to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner.  That was a nice treat.  All in all it was a pretty good trip (hospitalization aside).

Confessions from the still sleepy

My mom went to the ER last night and got admitted to the hospital. She'll be out today. It was dumb. On friday she brought her cat, Max, over to the apartment and Sam did not respond well.  In fact he cornered Max in the bedroom and was hissing and yowling and growling at him.  There are certain noises that when an animal is making that noise you don't touch it. She did and Sam bit her.  She bled a lot. And over the course of yesterday her hand swelled up with infection.  And then it started running down her arm.  So we went to the ER.  We got sent to another hospital. (She via ambulance) and finally at around 1 AM they admitted her and we got to go home. We'll pick her up today.

I did it!

I stepped on the scale this morning to see how much damage I did with my bad eating last week/over the weekend. And what to my wonderous eyes did appear... a weight lower than weight Y!  I had to look twice to be sure but there it was... a pound and a half lower than I needed it to be!  Yippee!

I invited my parents?

My sister is coming to Dallas the weekend of the 18thish to go on our zipline tour (1.2 lbs to go!) and we'll go to holiday in the park at 6 flags and to ICE a ice sculpture show at a fancypants hotel here in Dallas.  Because I'm a sap and easily influenced by my sister, I invited my parents to come and join us.  They might actually do it!  Now since my palatial apartment isn't THAT big they'll stay at a nearby hotel.  (There is a hotel literally next door to my apartment complex. We share a fence). 

I went to a party tonight.  That's a big deal.  I don't usually do social things but I have to.  I'm sick of being by myself all the time.  There weren't really any possible contenders to be my local friends, but it is good for me to practice talking to people. I'm not so good with that.  Tomorrow I'm going to a gf event what a mexican place and then next week I'm going to a bowling party with my apartment people.  Just call me buttterfly. :)

I have an interview on Wednesday.  It is for one I phone screened for before Thanksgiving.  Since I hadn't heard anything I presumed it wasn't happening so I was pleasantly surprised to get the call.  Although it was funny because there was an email accidentally sent to me from someone about whether or not the people they wanted to interview had been called in yet.  Oops.  :)  It is a phone interview and then I suppose if I move on it'll be an in person one.  If I get called for that and it happens to be on the 20th (the day I'm taking off to spend time with the fam) I'll take that as a sign the job is MINE.  I don't want to have to take time off to go interview.  My boss is a freak about that shit.  The recruiter and I are salaried employees.  Typically even if a salaried person doesn't work 8 hours you get paid for the full day and don't use PTO to pay if you leave early or whatnot.  She charged my coworker like 3 hours of PTO when she left early.  In WA that wouldn't be legal.  Unfortunately here it is.  She also won't let the 2 hourly employees do things like work through lunch or take only 1/2 hour lunches for the week to make up leaving early for an appointment or whatever.  Have I mentioned that the 2 hourly employees are not allowed to work later than either me or bboss?  One of us have to stick around if the employee works late. So bizarre. (Usually it is less than 10 minutes so not really a big deal but so stupid!)  Anyway I've got high hopes. The job would be within my area of expertise but doing something really different than what I do.  I wouldn't have to administer leaves of absences anymore!  (I LOATHE administering leaves of absence.)

Shh....

My frequency of posts is inversely proportional (or maybe just proportional I don't know I didn't do so well on the math part) to my state of mind.  Lately state of mind not so good.  In fact I started back on the happy pills the week before Thanksgiving.  I like my apartment.  I like my car.  I like living in Texas.  I like my community.  I like my cat.  I like my volunteering.  I am excited about starting grad school.  However, I LOATHE my job. I LOATHE my boss. I only sort of like my coworkers. I have no local friends.  Apparently one side is not enough to tip the other. 

truthiness Day 18 - Gay marriage

Another easy question for me:  What do I think of gay marriage? Similar to my views on religion, it isn't for me but it isn't my place to judge what others do. So, gays want to get married?  Let em. 

I ultimately believe that marriage has no place with government so the gov't should do civil unions to provide all the 'benefits' of marriage only and let the churches decide on "marriage."  Oddly enough, I'm also not against polygamy.  If more than two consenting adults want to enter into a relationship with some legally defined benefits I've got no issues with that.  The key words (and this is important given FLDS) are consenting and adults.  I can totally respect the issues with the FLDS church, marrying off children, chasing off the boys so there's no competition for the girls, etc.  But amongst consenting adults, who am I to judge if 2 men and a woman or 2 women and a man or 3 men and 2 women or whatever want to "marry" each other?  more power to them if they can find that many people to love and be with forever.

Ho ho ho

I am finding myself full of the Christmas spirit lately.  Like I want to decorate my balcony and put up my tree AND I was even thinking of getting a real live tree this year! (I love live trees!) Currently I am downloading all my holiday cds into itunes so I can make a holiday play list for work. This is unlike me.  I haven't put up a Christmas tree since 2003 or 2004. I don't believe in the "reason for the season." 

My sister is coming in December and we're going to do our own little Christmas the weekend before Christmas.  I'm TOTALLY excited about going to CA over Thanksgiving.  Totally ready for a few days away from work.  There's a lot of excitement around me.  Yay! :)

Truthiness post 1

I mentioned when I posted the truthiness list, that I would probably not do them in order. I'm a procrastinator by nature. (Someone may call that lazy... :) ) I think I'll go with Day 19 first (mostly because it is really easy).  "What do you think of religion?"

I am an atheist. I have been since I discovered the word somewhere in junior high.  In actuality I was before, but by then I had a word to define it.  I do not believe in any higher being, higher power or whatever.  However, in general I think if people want to believe in a higher power that's on them.  As long as their belief does not impact my lack of what do I care?  I feel the same way about organized religion and church.  If someone feels better praying to something or joining with others who share the same views, how am I to stop that?  It isn't my place to make that determination.  I think extremists are bad, but I would say that about any extreme not just religious extremists.  In general I view current religion the same way we view the Greek Gods or the ancient Egyptian beliefs (Horus and Osiris and all that)... it is a nice story to explain something that is currently inexplicable.  I do believe in 1000 years from now, those futurepeople will look back at us and think the same way we do about the Greek gods.

Swarm!

If I were a biologist, which I'm not obviously, I would totally study why the birds seem to converge where the 820 and the 35 cross.  I believe there are something like 10,000 birds that all fly into this area and land on the ground or on the electric poles etc. It fascinates me! The birds end up on the power lines so close together that the line is completely covered by bird and the ground almost looks black with birds all sitting on the grass.  Then all of a sudden, they all launch themselves and there are thousands of birds darkening the sky.  I want to know why they do this.  It seems weird to me. Especially since like 1/2 mile in any direction there are almost no birds at all.  So weird.

Fait Accompli

I know that I grouse about day light savings time every year, but this year I actually managed to get a shitton done today.

1 - I took the GRE.  It was the last thing I needed to do for grad school.  I've been conditionally accepted anyway, but if I hadn't taken it by May I'd get booted out of school.  I'm not sure if I did well enough on it to not get booted but I don't think it really matters at this point.  (Actually checking UNT's website I'm way above their average score on verbal but somewhat below their score on the math part).  I used almost every minute I was given.  On the essay portion I ran out of time.  I had finished the essay but was going back through it.  The argument discussion I actually finished 3 minutes early!  Math I ran out of time to do and ended up not getting 3 questions done.  (maybe 4 but I was definitely guessing the last 5 - 6 anyway).  And the verbal I finished with I think 15 seconds to spare.  I went through registration with my advisor last Monday so theoretically I'm signed up for 3 classes next semester.  Eep!  That's considered full time. I am thinking I can do it, but who knows.  I think the drive alone might kill any weight loss I've been able to accomplish.  I will be in class 2 days a week most weeks and 3 days a week once a month.  And Denton is far y'all!

2 - I worked on my t-shirt quilt.  Ironing the fusible web onto all the t-shirts is the longest process.  And since I already cut the shirts I am now having a problem figuring out how to put them together. 

3 - I cooked!  I made one of my favorite soups, avgolemono soup.  I made M&M almond muffins. I toasted the almonds for the muffins even!

That explains a lot

I adopted a cat a couple of weeks ago.  He's short hair. I have a plan for when Michelle comes to visit (he'll go to kitty care and the housekeeper will come in the day before she arrives). His name is Samuel.  He is all black and declawed.  He doesn't like to play. I have bought multiple cat toys and he really doesn't want to play.  I thought it might be because he's in a new environment.  Not so much.  We went to the vet today due to his ears bothering him... turns out he's not 18 months old as the cat adoption place lady said, he's actually between 5 & 6.  Eh.  She can only know what the people who released him to her know.

I just decided the fish weren't cutting it.  Petting the kitty (not a euphamism) is calming and I need that.  Also Sam gives me someone to talk to on the weekends. 

Armadillos are the Helen Keller of the animal world

Driving home I keep driving past a dead armadillo on his back in the gutter.  I kind of want to pick it up and dispose of it properly because it makes me sad to see it there every day.  My coworker told me, though, that armadillos have poor hearing and poor sight and when startled they jump straight up which is how they get hit by cars.

I got into graduate school.  I'm VERY excited about that.  I'll start in the spring.  I still have to take the GRE in November but that's no big deal. Ok it might be.  I'm looking through this GRE book and on the one hand I flip through it and think, really?  you are reviewing THIS? and then I look at the questions and think oh that's why you are reviewing that... when was the last time I did exponents?  I thought that librarians got paid way less than what I currently earn, but I looked at the ALA site today out of curiousity and it isn't a huge difference than what I earn now.  Hopefully by the time I graduate I'll have paid way down my cc and car loan so the salary shift won't be too traumatic. One thing I'm excited about is the prospect that I could even live internationally.  With what I currently do that wouldn't work out.

I'm taking a break from calorie counting soon. I've been stuck at a weight 4 lbs more than weight x (or weight y whichever I identified as the fatter one) for the past 3ish weeks.  Maybe 4 weeks.  It is driving me nuts! (Unrelated, I LOATHE that damn Train song).  So I'll take a break and hopefully not gain my 13ish lbs back and start again renewed and ready to go. 

30 days of Truthiness

I found this over on Avitable's blog.  It seems like an interesting project.  I'm not certain I'll do them all and I am certain I will not do them in order (being the type that puts off the worst things as long as possible).   Although maybe it would be even more interesting to do this as inauthentically as possible. (so 30 days of lying!) I'll contemplate that. 

It’s just a series of writing prompts, encouraging you to be honest and truthful. I liked the idea and thought I’d use them whenever I want something to discuss. Here are the prompts if you want to do them yourself:

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

A Leap of Something

I was having an existential crisis this morning.  I have been really struggling with my job and in general what I do for a living.  I like it.  I think I like it but I just don't know anymore actually.  I'm finding I am sick of the BS associated with what I do.  There's far more governmental influence currently and coming down the pike (pipe?) than when I first started.  More (and just like everywhere I'm sure) I'm getting asked to do more on less.  And I feel bad because it really impacts employees and at my employer MANY of our employees earn 12 - 18 bucks an hour.  We then annually take away 1400 of that in medical benefits alone.  And my bigger boss is now talking more deep benefit cuts. It kills me because I have at least 5 people right now who I know for certain have no ins because they can't afford it.  To me that's wrong.  (And I can also admit I don't like paying so much for my benefits and would hate to see my benefits get slashed).  I was feeling like this, though, even before I came to my new job.  So much more Bullshit.  So much less good stuff. 

So I've been considering going back to school.  I don't know if I'll do it.  I know I've talked about it before.  UNT has a library sciences program which only runs about 12k for the tuition.  I think I could do it.  I think it might be what I'm looking for. According to UNT's site, youth librarians are in demand.  God that would combine my 2 favorite things.  My biggest concern, though:  money.  I'll earn less than I earn now.  That kind of stresses me out since it is just me.  It also stresses me out to think about being subject to the whims of the government.  In Seattle, there were regularly furlough days where the libraries were closed.  They don't get paid for those days off. (Maybe they use vacay I suppose).  I think we've had them here too.  So I think I'll take a baby step and make an appt to go see a graduate admissions counselor and go from there.  Well that and find out about GRE/GMAT testing.

Not again

I volunteered for an event today.  For the first time in all of my volunteering, I left early and I didn't let anyone know when I left.  I was so over it.  I gave them 6 hours out of the 9 I was signed up for.  I like volunteering for events and maybe I've been spoiled because I've worked so many up in Seattle for really established charities.  This group has only been doing this event for 4 years so that's not really a lot of time in the grand scheme of things.  Nobody there knew or remembered my name so I'm pretty sure it wasn't noticed. Especially since they kept moving me from place to place.

I was already annoyed when I realized I had to get there at 9:00 this morning and yet the event didn't start until 11:30.  I'm cool with helping set up events but did we really need 2 1/2 hours for set up?  No.  I got there at 9 and the coordinator for my area wasn't there.  She eventually showed up and then left me again. And ultimately we were ready like 45 minutes early.  Time wasted.  It also bothered me that they were charging for the kids' activities.  It was only 50 cents to do a game and they had some good donated prizes but for some of the games the 50 cents seemed chintzy.  Plus it then meant you had to have a ton of change which we didn't. 

I got shifted around to various jobs during the day because they had way too many volunteers for the barely used kids' area so they kept moving me places.  They needed help at the live auction.  Turns out they didn't need help and I hung around there for freaking ever.  The problem with the live auction was that they were doing like one item between each band playing.  Seriously, how can you draw a crowd to check out the live auction if it is just like a commercial?  And there wasn't enough of a crowd for the 4 volunteers they pulled from other areas to watch the crowd. 

Eventually I got moved again and this time it was to trying to sell fully cooked briskets outside the store whose parking lot we were in.  After they decided to move the brisket sale to someplace else I ducked out and just didn't get with the group.  They had like 5 of us there trying to sell these briskets (mostly unsuccessfully honestly).  By then I was overheated and totally done with it.  I just felt like the whole thing was a disorganized mess and it was totally unfun.  Freezing my ass off for the Leukemia & Lymphoma society was more fun than this.

I'm easy, but don't piss me off

I'm changing car insurance companies.  This is kind of a big deal for me because in general when I sign up for a service, product or whatever I stick with them.  Short of a huge issue I'll stick with a company indefinitely.  Of course some of that is just sheer lazyness.  Once I've signed up for something I don't want to have to go through the huge project of researching information and then changing to something else.  So finally deciding to change car insurance carriers after months of spending a ridiculous amount of money took an act of extreme bad customer service to make me switch.  I called my guy several months ago and asked how to get off the high risk program.  He did some checking and thought he could and my new rate would be x - much cheaper than I was paying.  Ok great, sign me up I say.  And then nothing.  I called pack a good 6 - 8 times in the next two months with assurances that I'll get a call back.  With a "you haven't gotten the change paperwork yet?"  With nothing.  So I get a new insurance carrier and called to cancel my current policy today.  Again I get the "we're not in the office so call the 800 number" message.  Bye bye my guy.  Welcome new girl. The worst part is that I originally told them I would understand if it couldn't be done in this initial six months.  All they had to say was "Oh sorry, we can't make that change until your renewal" and I'm lazy enough to have stuck around.

10 lbs!

According to my official weigh in I'm down 10 lbs. (And by official weigh in I mean the piece of paper I keep in my linen closet where I keep my scale and I write down the weight on Friday mornings only even though I may weigh myself randomly on a Tuesday evening and a Monday morning after my shower and a Thursday right before I go to bed.)  That's pretty cool.  Technically I'm only 4 lbs away from goal weight 1.  But to give myself a little 'lunch leeway' I should probably see if I can manage 8 or more.  I have a month or so to do it.  That means I'm 29 lbs away from skydiving weight.  However I'm still about 79 lbs from learning to scuba dive weight.  (The advantage to putting these weight loss rewards in place... it gives me time to save up the needed funds to do them. :)  )

I joined a couple groups on my calorie counting website.  I'm probably going to quit one of them.  It is the "I am superduper fat and want to lose 100 lbs or more group."  (Obviously that's not the real name, that would be mean).  I was reading some of their forums and message boards and it made me rather depressed actually.  There was one whole thread about what people wanted to do when they go to their goal weight.  It made me sad for them because it kind of seemed like they were just waiting for this magical number to really do things.  I know some of what their things were they really needed that magical number - like shop at the Gap and not need seat belt extenders on airplanes - but others didn't and I just thought why make that big goal so far way out there.  You should reward yourself steps of the way.  We celebrate birthdays and not just the big ones... why not celebrate small successes?   

Satan's Scheme

Have I mentioned there's a huge church across the freeway from my apartment building?  Huge. It is a Baptist church and I can see it from various points in my complex. It is not a megachurch as defined by some website I found about them which kind of surprises me but what do I know?  Anyway... this week on their scoreboard sign thingy they have the phrase "Satan's scheme" and each time I think is this a hairbrained activity?  Is Satan planning on hiding his new dress from Ricky because he spent all his allowance on it?  Did he go to work at a candy factory and eat all the candy?  And since Satan is my heinous ex-brother-in-law, is he actually planning on doing something heinous to my favorite nephew now that said favorite nephew lives near them? These are the things I ponder.  Clearly I have too much time on my hands.