Monday, July 28, 2008

I don't know what to do...

Here's the thing... I have all these ideas running around my head and I keep thinking if I want to make plan x (adopt kids in 2 years) and plan y (vacation in Ireland next spring) I have to stay the current course. However, I'm not totally satisfied with the current course. If previous cat wrangler had stayed there'd be no question. But with the new cat wrangler in place and the toolman, well being the toolman, I'm now starting to question staying put. Therein lies the problem... I currently have time on the books which will allow me to take my adoption leave fully paid. That's going to be important for a single parent. A three month fully paid period of adjustment has to be better for the kids than less... although who knows really. Maybe it would be better to settle into a regular routine and begin things as I plan on them continuing. That's a very pondering thought, one I hadn't considered... But I digress. Also if I want to go on vacation I would need to not abandon my current cat in the near future because I won't have enough vacation at the new one (unless I negotiate it, and let's be honest, I'm shit at that). BUT in order to get the time off for the adoption plan, I'd need at least a year with the new cat. I don't know. Otherwise I have to push things back further and I don't know if I want to do that either...

So I have options. I think that in CA, I'd have a better support system for the adoption plan than I do here. (No offense intended, Stephen, but Michelle's got a whole family there who while not my family, would be supportive I think, plus Michelle is my BFF and I do miss hanging out with her.) The downside of CA is that in all honesty, I don't think I want to live there again. Although maybe if I could find a job and a home in Ventura Co, that would not be totally bad. (Oxnard, while scary, is still somewhat cheap.) They don't terminate parental rights, though, until they have families to adopt the kids so I wonder what their disrupted adoption rate is.

Option 2. There's a cat available in Portland. I could move there. It is a cheaper Seattle with fewer ridiculous laws. And the Portland cat is worth a lot more money. However, the downside is that there is even a smaller support system there than there is here. I could create my own but clearly I'm not good at that as I have a support system of 2.5 people here in Seattle. (Ben, who is 4 doesn't really even rate a .5 but I figured I'd offend Stephen. :) )

Option 3. Stay here. Possibly find a new cat. Possibly keep the old one. Work on building a bigger support system (there's a group for singles adopting that meets in Kenmore I think.). Just see where things go. (That tends to be what I usually do by default since I am generally lazy.) Option 3 keeps me with my girls and I do like them. The problem is, I feel like I have to figure this out sooner rather than later, but I honestly just don't know. (If I were married I wouldn't have to figure this out. Someone else would have an opinion that is equally as valid as mine is. I might be sulking about that. ;) )

3 comments:

Sheesh said...

As someone who as quite miserable in her cat, if things are bad at the cathouse, everything else in your life suffers. That alone might be enough to make it worthwhile to consider looking at new cats...

Peeved Michelle said...

I think we should talk about this more when you come down here. I think that you should prioritize your list of things you want to do. You mentioned three things you want to do but not which is most important and which is least important.

That said, I think it would be easier to change jobs as a childless single person than as a new adoptive single parent. You would be more limited in the jobs you would consider because you wouldn't want to move at that point, plus you would likely have less flexibility in your work schedule. I think it is probably better to change jobs first, get settled in, build up some time off and then adopt. The vacation is probably the least important of the three and can then be worked in however it works best for the other two things you want to do.

Stephen said...

I believe I already shared my thoughts... and you seemed mildly offended, even though I was mostly talking about myself.

I'll support you wherever you love, in whatever way you will let me.

I'd agree that thinking about what is most important to you, and going after that.

I will say, lists are great, but it helps to have a list of 1 or 2. Then you don't get distracted by 3-10 :)