Getting Desperate

On a cognitive level, I understand that the job market is in the toilet. I understand that in a recession, I'm trying to get a job someplace that isn't here. There are hundreds of people out of work. On a cognitive level I get that. The rest of me, though... starting to really get bogged down by this job search. I've been searching for 10 months. I've gotten (I think) pretty close a couple of times but something failed to seal the deal for me. What it is, who knows? In both cases they were far away jobs and perhaps that was the problem. I'm a bigger risk than a local candidate. I know bossman originally was only looking at local candidates. But even though I KNOW all this... I'm still freaking out. It doesn't help that he actually has some viable candidates this time around. We may actually fill this position. Happy 36th birthday, Joanne, you're getting your big fat negative pay increase. (Pay cut for those of you mathematically challenged).

I'm also scaring myself in that I'm starting to think about places I previously declined. Places like Phoenix. I don't want to live in Phoenix. I HATE Phoenix. BUT there are jobs in Phoenix. Baltimore. There's a job at a University there. I don't think I want to work for colleges anymore but it is a job and Maryland is on the approved list. I may have to look at places that aren't on the Michelle & Joanne list. Places like New Mexico or Vermont or Montana. Or Florida. (Just kidding about Florida. Florida will never be on the approved list.... or will it... Disney World! :) No. Never... flying cockroaches. Repeat ... FLYING COCKROACHES!)

Found 3 more jobs to apply for. I know I should be grateful. I've been applying for jobs fairly steadily since April. (Wait, how should I be grateful for that??!!) At least there've been jobs for me to apply for. I know looking every single day is tormenting me. I can't help it. I'm just so desperate to find a new job.