So Happy

I had a dream this morning that I really didn't want to wake up from. The funny thing is, when I look at the pieces of the dream, I can't figure out why I was so happy in it, but I really was.

I dreamed I was back with an ex-boyfriend. In my dream I was younger than I am now. We were living together with my parents. But these parents weren't my real parents they were just dream parents. For some reason I drove him back and forth to work. (Really in retrospect it sounds rather ghetto). He worked in a PR company that was huge and he worked in a giant room that was kind of like those 50's movies about the future and automatons... just a big room with a big screen and a boss on the screen but the workers were all scurrying around doing their work. So for some reason I sneak in to see him and give him something and in the process I end up sneaking out several tubes of lipstick and nail polish. All very red shades. That was very vivid... the red. I have to sneak back out down a spiral staircase and then past a big desk to go back to my car. All very weird.

Red: Red is an indication of raw energy, force, vigor, intense passion, aggression, power, courage and passion.The color red has deep emotional and spiritual connotations. Consider the phrase "seeing red" to denote anger.
Red is also the color of danger, shame, sexual impulses and urges. Perhaps you need to stop and think about your actions.

Ex: To dream about your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or that you and your ex got back together again, suggests that something or someone in your current life that is bringing out similar feelings you felt during the relationship with your ex. The dream may be a way of alerting you to the same or similar behavior in a current relationship. What you learn from that previous relationship may need to be applied to the present one so that you do no repeat the same mistake. Alternatively, past lovers often highlight the positive experiences you had with that person. It could also signify aspects of yourself that you have x'd out or neglected. To dream that you are making out with your ex, signifies your acceptance of certain characteristics of your ex. The dream does not necessarily mean that you want to get back together with him or her. Consider what were the things you liked and disliked about him. These are the same qualities that you are finally acknowledging within your own self.

Lipstick: To buy, see, or wear lipstick in your dream, suggests that you are not entirely truthful about something.

Stealing: To dream that you are stealing, denotes that you are deprived and where the stealing takes place (at home, the office, at school....) is indicative of your neediness. Alternatively, it may signify unrealized and unfulfilled goals. You may have set your goals too high.

Poor Ghetto Sampson*

So this morning the first time I woke up (4 AM after going to bed at 1 AM thank you heartburn. :S) I came out to the livingroom after the pepcid I took did not help. While I was out here playing on the computer I discovered that the right hand bottom corner of Sampson's monitor (which had been steadily breaking) finally gave up the ghost. So now it is a little hard to open and close the computer. So in an effort to repair him I was going to use black electrical tape to hold the corner on better. Sadly, I can't find it (or maybe I used the last of it?) so now... masking tape. Seriously if he were hanging out at the high school the other kids would really pick on him.

*Sampson is the name of my current laptop. You may or may not recall that I name certain products that I may some day need to yell at or beg and plead with... Sampson the computer, Pip the iPod, Ben the Bronco, Jakob the old laptop. So far the Kindle doesn't have a name yet but that's because I haven't thought of one I like.

It's on the list

Unrelated to anything, I'm totally Jon & Kate's bitch this weekend. I am embarrassed by how many hours I watched their show over the weekend. It is ridiculous!

So Michelle and I have been discussing which states are on the list or not on the list as possible places to move to. Apparently, though, we can't remember usually which ones are in which catagory. :)

On the list: Colorado, Texas, Tennessee, Georgia, Missouri, Pennsylvania, Maryland, North Carolina, South Carolina, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Utah, Idaho, Virginia, Maryland,

Not on the list: Arizona, California, Alaska, Hawai'i (would be so fun but TOO expensive), Arkansas, West Virginia, Mississippi, Louisiana, Florida, New York, New Jersey, New Hampshire, Maine, Vermont, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, Ohio, Indiana, Michigan, Oklahoma (too windy), Nevada (too hot and expensive), New Mexico, Illinois, Kentucky,

On the hmm, but probably not list: Alabama, Oregon, North & South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Wyoming, Montana, Iowa,

There's no real logic here truthfully... well there is. A lot of the northern states are out because of their cost of living and high taxes. That's Michelle's beef (not that I disagree, but I've lived in a state with no state taxes and I don't own property so property taxes have not impacted me either, so I don't see it). A few that are nos are strictly due to my own prejudice... I just can't live in Arkansas or West Virginia. And those on the probably not list are there because I doubt there will be the type of employment Michelle's husband would need so I'm not bothering to apply there either. Illinois is technically on Michelle's no list, but I've applied to a job or two there. There's one job I would LOVE from there (Ok I don't know if I would love it. I could get in and hate it but I THINK I would love it) and that I would take in a heart beat. Of course .. there is always finding a new job here, but given that I've seen 1, that's ONE, job posted for what I do in my own area I'm not holding my breath. Although I did get contacted by a recruiter for a job in Tacoma. That would be a suckyass commute and I'd eventually have to move south I'm sure. Although if I'm thinking I'm moving in the next 6 -8 weeks I have got to get moving on getting my shit togther... seriously. (Maybe I'm in denial actually that any of this will happen. That's quite probable. :) )

Random thoughts

If I can't have a baby can I have a puppy?

So it really IS all about that

I was thinking about things to talk about today and really the sad part is I've got nothing... nothing but job searching and how much that sucks and how I hate to be doing it and how there are some things that if I have to leave Seattle I'll really miss. How I'm anxious at the thought of coming in and managing a team I didn't hire. (Since I currently manage one person I did hire). Maybe even one of whom wanted the manager job but didn't get it or couldn't get it. Who knows. And since I work one on one with my employee, how do I fit into a new team? With the exception of the Denver job, I have not applied for any other positions that are a step back. That scares me too. What if I fail? (I know I say in my head all the time What's the worst that can happen, I die? but Seattle seems to have made me more neurotic than I was before. Who knew that was humanly possible?)

But in non-sucky/whiny things... I didn't not get the job in Denver. They had some sort of personnel crisis so they will be letting people know if they are up for next round interviews next week. That could be great. Denver is #1 on my hope list right now.

The job I would love in Chicago keeps getting reposted. I'm presuming that means my lack of project management experience is a negative. :) That's fine. I didn't really even expect an interview for that one but I just imagine I would LOVE it.

Had a good phone screen with a hospital in Atlanta. (Well I think it went well, who knows really). Should hear if I'm selected for next round next week. Since I only applied for them on Friday and she called me on Monday I took that as a positive sign. Which means, really I could have screwed it up. :)

I think job searching this round has been less traumatic for me than last time because I know I'm asking for a lot. I am asking to be relocated in a bad economy. Theoretically there should be people in these places that can do this stuff. Although based on the number of jobs I see reposted in places I don't want to go (or positions that upon reading the description I think no, that's not for me) that may not be the case. I frequently fret that my career path is too niche but maybe that's not such a terrible thing. I also keep reminding myself that my boss posted the new boss job 4/14 and is just this week doing phone screens. This shit takes time, yo.

One thing I could do without... so many of the insurance companies contacting me to sell insurance products. I'm not a sales person. I would never ever want to do that. Even if I could earn upwards of 200k. (Like I believe that).

In other non-sucky/non-whiny/non-job things I'm getting my hair cut and colored tomorrow. Whee! Finally. It is at an awkward in between stage that I really don't like so much. It is constantly held back with a head band because the bangs are long enough to sweep to the bottom of my nose and tickle and itch it but not long enough to tuck behind my ears. I can't decide if I go back to short short because I'll be doing interviews and want to look my best or if I get some sort of in between maintenance done and call it good because I want to grow it back out. Decisions decisions. Also sometime after payday (I was supposed to do this this month) I've got to field trip to the Bellevue fatchick store so I can buy a new interview outfit.

Job hunting is for the birds

Well I'm pretty sure the job I was trying to get a 2nd phone interview is out. I haven't heard from the recruiter in like a week and the phone interview I was supposed to have didn't happen because the hiring manager was sick. I noticed yesterday that the job was re-listed online so I'm fairly certain that means no. That's okay though. I wasn't sure I wanted to move to San Antonio. Currently the order of hope goes like this: that specific job I applied for in Chicago, a job in Denver, anyplace that isn't Texas and then Texas.

I am hoping to hear today on a possible 2nd interview for a job in Denver. It is technically a step back and yet... yet pays the same or more than I currently earn. I know it isn't a great career move to move backwards, but I'm about to anyway so why not do it while working for firemen? And working for firemen for the same amount of money I currently earn. That's the most important part. Oh wait, working for firemen for the same amount of money I currently earn in a city with a lower cost of living THAT'S the important part. Rock on. :)

I'll keep applying to any job I see that is on the approved locations list and seems like I could and do want to do it. I am really hoping I can get out before my new boss is hired. I'm not sure I could train this new person. I'm pretty sure I can't. Ok I could. I just would hate it. And would have to fight pretty hard to not be bitter. Luckily we can't actually make the hire until our office moves since there is no space for this new person. We keep being told we're moving in July, but I'm not holding my breath.

Taxiscam

I just spent an outrageous amount of money on a taxi home from pouring beer. As I was walking down Phinney (I think) in Fremont, I saw the bus go by on 34th. As I got to the stop it was long gone and a quick perusal of the bus schedule indicated the next one was 45 minutes later. I couldn't believe that spending 45 minutes outside in Fremont at midnight was the best plan ever so I caught a cab. So not only was I paying x amount per mile, I also noticed that the meter counts time as well. I was a little peeved. But since it is a rare luxury I'll get over it.

Pouring beer was pretty fun but not as fun as usual. I was at a brewery that wasn't that popular. It is a common Seattle brand so not a lot of people would come by. They can get that anywhere. There were a few people. People who have been drinking can be kind of funny people... funny in their own minds. This one guy with big hair kept coming back to get beer from me. He would always pretend he hadn't been by already for the exact same glass he was getting. He also pretended to give me a token instead of actually doing so. Towards the end of the evening, there was another guy who spent about 15 minutes griping about the box the beer comes in. Apparently they changed their box style and he was unhappy with the new marketing. He was VERY drunk. He finally left me and went over and harangued the yelp lady for another 10 minutes. One other guy was asking about volunteering and he asked what would happen if a person signed up for a Sat shift and then got their free beer on Friday night and then didn't show up for their shift. I said that you're inviting bad karma with that and you end up with your girl friend breaking up with you... and an STD. His friend busted out laughing and he looked mock offended. It was quite funny. All in all it could've been worse. :)

A movie review or two

Do you think Michelle Pfeiffer is embarrassed by Grease 2? I love this movie, but if I recall, it isn't considered such a great movie.

Thursday former student worker came in to my office and was asking about some contraption being built in a neighboring park. I didn't know what it was but a quick google search let me know it was a set for Daedalus Rising by the Annuki Project. It seemed interesting so I asked Stephen if he wanted to go. It was supposed to have aerialists and fire artists and it seemed cool. I am apparently not so into peformance art. I disliked the first performance a lot. The second one was okay. The third went on way too long. The fourth had potential I think... but failed to live up to it and we bailed before the fifth really got started. Actually now that I think about it, I think the fourth also sucked. I needed a lot more dangerous stunts than people just hanging on a trapeze in positions I could probably do.

In good things, though, I went and saw Wolverine today. I really liked it. I thought Leiv Schreiber did a great job as Sabretooth. He's got that kind of malicious creepy down quite well. The movie was paced quickly. I think it has a running time of 1 hour 48 min and it pretty much GOES the whole time. And for those of us not comic book geeks, it was an interesting tale of how Wolverine becomes who he is with a little about Scott (Cyclops) thrown in for good fun.

More photos are up!

So I've added still more photos to the Ireland set on Flickr. I just keep adding to the end of the list. Now Cork and Galway are up. Last will be Belfast, but I actually have to finish editing them. (And sadly, I haven't edited most of them anyway. I just pick out the ones I like best.

Here's a few samples. :)

Blarney Castle

Druid's Cave at Blarney Castle Grounds

My feet in the sea at Inishmore

Cross at Corcomroe Abbey

I want more!

I've posted more photos up on flickr. I'm now through Kilkenny which was where we were on the 20th through the 22nd.

Here are a few:

River Nore
Kilkenny Castle

Me!

Panic attack...

So I often say my biggest fear is getting fired or evicted. Those are the ones that swim around in my neurotic head. My tangible fear is insects. This post isn't about insects except to say that is my real fear. I jump around and scream like a girl when I see one in my apartment. I'm fine with them in the wild, but I don't want them on me. I am afraid they will crawl on me whilst I sleep. This fear has a root. When I was a little girl (maybe 8 or 9 or 7) we went to my grandfather's house (must have been under 8 because I think that's how old I was when he died although I could be wrong about that too... I have this vague sense that everything happened when I was 8 but I think I'm wrong about most of those things) Anyway, we went to my grandfather's house and he lived on a farm in middle Florida. (wild. Elton was my father's uncle). So we went to my grandfather's trailer and across the driveway was this family with a bunch of kids who, in retrospect was probably migrant farm workers or something, and one night I spent the night at their trailer. I woke up in the middle of the night to pee and in the kitchen was this hoarde of roaches. So many. Crawling over everything. Since then, terrified of bugs.

(Unrelated, I'm watching this show and they are doing the whole "Oh he has a concussion and so he has to be kept awake" thing. I had a concussion with a loss of consciousness and they didn't do that for me and a simple google search confirms that is not treatment... and it definitely wasn't in 2004 when this show was aired)

So my latest fear - What if I can't get a job. I'm surrounded by all these messages about the terrible economy and how jobs are going away everywhere and what if I can't find a new job? Am I just going to have to keep this crappy ass job as it gets crappier and bend over and take the huge pay cut? Am I going to have to move to Texas? Seriously, even though I've only applied to 4 total jobs in the past 5 days (two of which were weekend days) I might be freaking out a little bit.

We'll take some lovely Photos!

So I've started uploading the photos to Flickr. I could do them here, but that's becoming too much work. Here's the start of them. There'll be more added sooner or later. I've put descriptions with most of them. I'll also probably post a few to Facebook.

Trying new things

This weekend has been a weekend of a few firsts.

Firstly, I went to a concert of the Lake Union Symphony on Friday night. They were good performers, but I did not like the 3rd piece they played. It was a little too discordant for my taste. Afterward went out for some booze with Big R and his boyfriend. I like them both and don't see them too often. Now that Big R knows I may be leaving, he wants to hang out. We'll see how long that lasts.

Today I field tripped to Michaels via the bus. Now this isn't really a first since I've taken bus 150 before. Bus 15o sucks. It is one of the buses that runs through all these little areas and makes you a little bit crazy. But I got a bunch of craft supplies and so the girls and I should be good for our next couple of meetings. I don't know if they'll like what I got for them to do though. They had these wooden bracelets on clearance. I bought a slew of those as well as some ribbon and some wood paint to decorate them. The other thing I picked up were some tin boxes and some rub on transfers. We'll put the transfers on and then modge podge the whole box to make sure they are sealed. I hope the girls like both projects.

Finally I attempted to make something different than I usually would for dinner. I found a recipe online for an Indonesian peanut sauce. It was a pretty simple recipe and somehow I didn't know I didn't have vinegar, but even without the vinegar it was pretty good. The peanut sauce is really peanutty (imagine that) so a little goes a long way. But otherwise it turned out quite nice. :) I now have another chicken recipe to add to my arsenal. I had to come up with something since all the usual recipes I would make seemed to be missing one ingredient. (Apparently I have nothing in my cabinets because it isn't like I was missing one thing. I was missing a whole slew of one things. Grr)

Related to grr... my tv is having issues... well not my tv but my cable. And now I've missed sesveral minutes of this movie. It is illogical because it has only been 2 minutes that have passed. I'm confused.

Like a bra but different

My mother is being rather supportive of my planned job hunt and move. Of course the problem with my mother being supportive is that she tends to go overboard. She's now decided I need to work for the feds. They have great benefits she says. And, in reality, I don't think you ever get fired with them. I'm not against the idea, per se, but I'm not in love with it either. Here's part of the problem... I rarely ask her for help. When I finally do, she gets all excited about it and goes overboard and kind of becomes overbearing. If I were smart, I would ask more frequently for help from her and then not have to deal with this weirdness.

Two and a half more shows bite the dust

You know I love television, right. I mean I LOVE television. I'm okay with that. It entertains me. What else would I be doing on a random weeknight otherwise? (Since I like to just be at home when I get home. I don't really like to go out on the weeknights.) However, I'm finding that more and more TV shows don't do it for me anymore.

Heroes: I've been trying to get into it. I find I don't care. There are too many characters. There are too many weird plot twists that I can't figure out where things are going. I'm over it.

Reaper: I liked this show when it first started. I'm not sure why I lost interest... I think because it has been so long between the seasons. Funnily enough, though, there's nothing else I like on Tuesday nights so it isn't like it is losing to a different show.

Ugly Betty: Might bite the dust. I haven't decided yet. It used to be must see tv time for me, but not anymore. Now I watch it if it is on but don't bother searching it out.

What are you watching these days?

Mixed Bag

Did Taylor Swift start out on American Idol? I must know if I'm allowed to like that Romeo and Juliet song and if she was on that show, I don't know if I can like it or not. :) You know I suffer enough cognative dissonance just liking Kelly Clarkson. Ok. I KNOW David Cook was on Idol (that makes me sad but I think TWOP had a picture of him on their main page when he was in it). Luckily I'm kind of meh about his song. (I'm watching VH1. Did you know they actually show music videos at 7:30 on a Sunday morning?)

Since I've been sick (caught a cold. I blame the Philly Airport) I've been using those breathe right strips at night (in conjunction with real cold medicine). I really think they help. I don't wake up in the middle of the night unable to breathe because of my head being so stuffed up. I got the wrong sized ones (I wasn't paying attention when I grabbed the box. I don't THINK I have a large nose, but maybe I do... :) ) So the ends don't quite stick down the way they are supposed to. Also, taking those things off in the AM SUCKS. I've been trying to soak them to make it easier to get off, but it sometimes doesn't seem to help.

I just finished a fabulous book called The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner's Semester at America's Holiest University. It is about Kevin Roose, a student from Brown who decided that instead of taking a semester abroad, he was going to take a semester and go to Jerry Falwell's university, Liberty University. Roose is an excellent writer for 19 years old. I was completely under his spell and enjoyed his whole book. He really humanized Evangelical Christians on an individual level. You get to know these students he interacted with and get to appreciate them as individuals. He offers an interesting critical view of Liberty (but not painting it with the "Oh it is an Evangelical college so it sucks" brush). He even finds things to praise about Liberty. He talks about how comforting it is to have these large events where all the kids are united (he's not describing a mass protest of an abortion clinic or anything, but their thrice weekly convocations). Through an interesting twist of fate, he was also the last person to do a print interview Jerry Fallwell before he died. He talks about how he feels when Fallwell dies (the day before his last exam) and what it is like to stay at Liberty for the funeral. His article is passed out to the mourners as a rememberance piece of Fallwell. He also talks of his conflicted feelings about their political views vs his. All in all a really excellent book that even had me tearing up over the death of Fallwell.

Best April Fool's Joke Ever

This is honestly without a doubt my absolute favorite post ever. I love to reread it every year. It makes me so happy. :)

So I am re-linking as my gift to you. Happy April Fool's Day! :)

Happy Happy Joy Joy

My luggage has been found! I was about to post a whole diatribe about how I was starting to get a bit worried when my cell phone rang. It died immediately because the battery was low but I went online and my luggage has appeared. Yay! Now I have to go get it. I think I'll flexcar it. :)

Book 4

I'm on book 4 of the Twilight Series. I ended up finishing book 1 and 2 while in Ireland. I originally wasn't going to, but I ran out of things to read. While in Philly, I downloaded book 3 and 4. I originally only downloaded book 3 but then I realized I wanted to know how the whole series ended so I got book 4 too. I read the last chapter or so first. Just so you know. :)

Book 1 - Started out very slow. I really do not like the character of Bella and I can't fathom why anyone likes her. I could be clouded in judgement by both my dislike of the actress I saw in the previews of the movies and what I think about the author. I still do not think the author is a good writer. Without the movies I would have no mental image of any of the characters (and in reality, I only have a mental image of Bella and Edward because they were so heavily featured in the previews). I forget when it finally got decent, but I still wouldn't go so far as to call it good.

Book 2 - I liked parts of book 2. I'll admit that. :) I like the character of Jacob. I still don't like Bella and kind of hope she dies. Obviously she doesn't or else there wouldn't be a book 3 or 4. :) I have a huge issue with this love story though and what it teaches girls. Perhaps it is because I'm not especially romantic but in reality I wouldn't want someone to "love" me the way Edward and Bella "love" each other. Edward's also a bit of a drama queen.

Book 3 - I liked book 3. Still hate Bella, mostly dislike Edward but I did enjoy Jacob and the rest of that storyline. I also liked the struggle and how things were resolved.

Book 4 - I'm part way through (33%, thanks Kindle for letting me know that) and still hate Bella, think Edward is a fool.

All in all, the writing gets vaguely better as she goes along. I'm not a fiction writer, should I really judge? Sure, why not. I don't think she's anywhere near as good as JK Rowling, though. While there are definitely times where Harry is kind of a whiney baby, he's nowhere near annoying as Bella. Are they worth reading? Probably. If you're not me. :)

I have a whopping 10 min left. :)

So today we were in Northern Ireland which is its own separate country. (Well it is part of the UK or something I don't really get it and honestly at this moment I don't care enough to look up exactly how the relationship works but they do use pounds just like England does). We crossed over yesterday on the train and when we got off the train we couldn't find anyone to stamp our passports (did I already talk about this? I feel like I might have). I asked the guy at the ticket window and he said we didn't need to. I double checked and said I was from the US but nope didn't need to. Weird that.

Today we took another tour. Unlike Matty's and my fateful tour a way back when, this tour was not populated entirely with old people with a vendetta. Today we went up to the Giant's Causeway and the Carrick a Rede Rope bridge. The wind was blowing too much for us to go on to the bridge. I have a photo. I'll post it when I get back. It will illustrate the level of the wind. Otherwise the Carrick a Rede area was pretty. The Giant's Causeway, though, AMAZING. Seriously. Honestly. I have photos. I'll post them. :) But really, do yourself a favor if you ever come up here, visit the Giant's Causeway. It took me a day to figure out why Northern Irelander's accents are so different than Ireland accents... Scottish. There is definitely a Scottish bit to the accent. Also they use wee a lot which Ireland does not do. However if you watched the amazingly quality filum (films are always 2 syllables and pronounced fil-um) Charlies Angels #2 which had the hot Irish guy who was trying to kill Drew Barrymore... he had a Northern accent. Whilst in the Aran Islands we discovered the movie Leap Year is being filumed there sometime in the semi-near future. I'll have to check that out when it comes out.

We had crappy dinner tonight of hotel food because after climbing up hill and down dale we were wiped out. Tomorrow we head back to Dublin where we will shop a wee bit and then fly home on Sunday. Something fun to cause a bit of trouble on Sunday... daylight savings time. They start it Sat night/ Sunday am. I wouldn't have known if the tour driver today hadn't mentioned it. Glad he did... would've sucked to get to the airport an hour late.