Trying Out New Things

I bought new deodorant this weekend - a whole new brand.  I've used Degree for like 10+ years, but somehow it seems like it is leaving a film that is really hard to wash off when I shower. I'm trying to find one that doesn't leave that film. (I only use antiperspirant/deodorant which I know is different than deodorant only, but I don't like the wet feeling if I don't use antiperspirant).  I bought Dove and Lady Speed Stick. I'm hoping one of these two works out.   Otherwise I don't know what else to get. I have a weird aversion to Secret. And I don't buy Suave anything.
The other thing I bought this weekend is something that I LOVE, which means It is either discontinued or about to be discontinued. I found ziploc freezer bags that have a little way for me to suck the air out of them so they are totally sealed (looking at Ziploc's website I see that they are called vacuum bags).  I do not know why I have such a terrible time with freezer burn (Ok.  It is because I buy meat on sale and in large quantities and as a single person I just don't eat that much and I tend to not be so good about getting all the air out of the bag apparently), but I get a lot of freezer burn and I hate it.  So far these seem to work awesomely. I'm tempted to remove from the freezer all the other meat that is in regular bags and re seal them in these vacuum bags.

Make it work

I interviewed for yet another job on Thursday.  I don't have a good feeling from the manager that I'm going to get offered it.  Just a feeling.  So I'm going to stop looking for awhile.  If you count from when I was in Seattle I've been job hunting for over 2 years now.  Admittedly there've been a few breaks in time then, but I've been applying and interviewing for a long time.  I'm just sick of it.  I'm sick of the searching and the process.  I'm sick of lying to take off time to interview. Now I just need to figure out how to tolerate my current situation.  The tension lately is palpable.  Boss was doing better and less of a bitch for a little while, but is back to full bore bitch.  It is exhausting. I am documenting everything though.  Anytime she is, what I consider, out of line I write it down.  Maybe that'll help us in the future.  I don't even know.  The other thing that scares me is the thought of getting this library degree and then never being able to use it since the salary will be so much lower than I currently earn. 

Screwed Up Pets

I took Sam to a new vet this morning.  The old vet has not been able to figure out what was wrong with Sam's ears and we've been treating him with diet for 3 months now with no change. So I figured I'd get a 2nd opinion.  She confirmed that Sam is sixish and not the 18 months I was quoted nor the 3 years I just noticed today that's on his vaccination certificate.  Poor boy with the mysterious life.  Anyway, I like this cat.  He's fine as a pet. (ish he is a biter).  BUT I'm not thrilled with the prospect of him being on this fancy hypoallergenic food until he dies.  That shit is $50 a bag! And it makes me wonder how it is I get the screwed up pets.  What is it about me that says "sucker!" (I don't know that I want that answered because I have that same question about me and supershitty bosses.)

In the course of my pets as an adult (4 ferrets 1 cat) ALL 4 ferrets required adrenal shots because they got adrenal disease.  This was somewhere between a $35 - $40 shot/month.  Not counting the cost to get the flexcar since I was in Seattle with no car.  Sam requires fancy cat food.  Honestly I just want one healthy not crazy pet.

Shoes

Again I find myself needing new shoes. The problem I have is threefold. 1. I have fat feet and value comfort over cute, which means I usually buy relatively bland shoes. 2. I have a large heel spur on my right heel. Which impacts size of shoes and ability of shoes like slingbacks since they don't stay up on the back of my foot. 3. I'm cheap about the wrong things. I am ok with paying more for some shoes, but if I figure I won't wear them often or more than a year I don't see the point in paying a lot for them.  I seem to have missed out on the shoe shopping gene.

2nd Semester - A whole lot shorter!

I'm now in my 2nd semester of library school.  This semester I took three more classes but the way summer sessions work I'm actually only taking 2 classes at a time.  I have 1 class that takes 10 weeks and then 2 classes that are 5 weeks each - back to back.  However, the weirdness is that one of my classes is actually for only 3 weeks, so I'll be done with my comic book class by Sunday night at midnight.  The nice part about my story telling class (10 weeks) is that apparently summer means "no bigass research project."  Wahoo.  I do have to do 3 story performances - one of which is already done.  For performance #2 I have to do 1 story and performance #3 I have to do 2 stories that are somehow connected and one is only 2 minutes and the other is like 4 or 5 minutes I think.  My 3rd class is a public libraries class.  It will definitely not be as fun or creative as my other two classes this semester.  I'm finding my comic book and graphic novels class to be interesting.  Definitely glad I took it.  It has opened my eyes to some books I might not otherwise have read. In the fall I'll be taking a youth literature class that should be great as well.

Because I'm pissy

I'm going to slam on Netflix and search engines. (And maybe blogger for continuing to add a random space at the top of this post even though I keep deleting it!)

So I have netflix and one of the reasons I wanted an xbox was so that I could watch movies instantly through netflix.  This would be fine and dandy (and to be fair I've watched a lot of tv shows via netflix which I enjoy) except the movies that are released don't get to "watch instantly status for fucking ever.  Black Swan, released in March - not on Watch Instantly.  Love and Other Drugs - released March 1, not on Watch Instantly yet. Takers - released in January is being advertised as a "new Arrival." (I have no interest in Takers, I'm making a point)   Are you freaking kidding me?  I can walk up to Redbox and get I am Number 4 (which i want to see) and get it tonight (except that means putting on clothes and driving to the store see how lazy trumps self righteous indignation).  AND they've changed their policy so that I can't even click on get the disk (to get it mailed to me) because they're trying to force us to use the "watch instantly" feature.  I would if they had what I wanted to watch dammit!

Unrelated to Netflix, when I play my exercise game on xbox it just shows me as my shape but in red (heat sensor actually) and it cracked me up when the cat walked around my legs, as he is wont to do when I don't want him there, and the scanner picked up his shape.

What else was I going to be pissy about... oh I typed in www.blogger.com into my toolbar.  This is a legitimate site that I've used a number of times (obviously) and yet somehow yahoo search decided I did something wrong and it came up as a search result.  That also annoyed me.

Oh back on netflix... I hate how 99% of their "New arrivals: Movies" are not new arrivals at all.  Well MAYBE they are movies that are newly released (and obviously not NEWLY released since one of their "new arrivals" is from January) on DVD.  I want a list of real new releases not stupid shit like white chicks and dane cook and a bunch of movies nobody has ever heard of.  This forces me to go to another website to see if I can actually find a list of new releases (strangely difficult actually thanks to televisionwithoutpity I can actually find a list because each week they do a blog about what's new on DVD) and then search for whatever movie I want to see.  They're just pissing me off tonight.

Introvert is not a 4 letter word

I got turned down for a job today.  One that I think I actually wanted. It had a lot of potential to be interesting and different than what I do since it had generalist roles incorporated into the benefits roles. The few people I met seemed super nice.  The company is in the process of "turning HR around" from being unapproachable and mean to open and fun. They said all the right things and I thought, well I didn't necessarily think I said all the right things but one of my interview failings is that I don't try to hide who I really am.  I answer the questions asked essentially the same way I would answer them if Michelle were asking me the question.  Well according to the recruiter I was working with I knocked it out of the park. I reassured her on the 401(k) stuff. I answered everything right... until.  When asked the question "how do you unwind or destress" I said something to the effect of "I go home and veg out mostly. Working in HR you have to be "on" all the time and since I'm essentially an introvert I like to spend my after work time relaxing and being quiet."  Something like that.  Apparently they don't want an "introvert."  Keep in mind, I've charmed 4 people in the interview until this point so clearly I have social skills and the ability to talk to people.  I even mentioned that working in HR for the past 11 years, I know what it takes but during my down time I like it to be just me.  I'd feel sad about the loss of this job since I think I did want it, but I find myself so annoyed by this "no introverts" attitude that I'm fine with it.  I am seriously sick of job hunting though. I may have to take a little break.  

Only in Texas

I went on a job interview on Friday and I desperately wanted to take a picture of the bookshelf of one of the men I interviewed with.  On his bookshelf were The Holy Bible, History of God and a book about (or by) George Bush (but I can't recall if it was sr or junior).  It totally made me laugh inside.  The job is different than what I do now.  It would be what I do but also generalist role including employee relations which I'm not that excited about but this would open up my skills and career. (which I know I'm totally changing careers but until a library job opens up that I can find I can still work in HR.)  It is a very small company which would be interesting.  However several people used the phrase "work hard/play hard" which I find cliched and annoying.

I should check mail more often

Tuesday I finally checked my mail.  I usually don't check it often because it is far to the mailboxes and there's nothing I want anyway, usually trash.  But the bag for the letter carrier's food drive was in my box and you may or may not remember that I love to volunteer for and contribute to the letter carrier's food drive.  So I went back to my apartment and found a bunch of canned food and put it in a bag by the door. And then I sat on the sofa.  And then I went to work the next day and while I was at work I thought some more and when I got home I checked the date on the little flyer.  The letter carrier's food drive was LAST weekend.  Oops.

F is for Fun

And that is my goal for the weekend.  I have spent almost every weekend since January working on homework.  Even when I got to go on the "girls weekend" in Austin back in February, I spent at least part of it doing homework. Homework. Homework. HOMEWORK. The word starts to lose all meaning after awhile.  AND I'll be starting up again soon. Sigh.  (Not sigh. I chose this and want this so I am glad to do it).  I'm also wicked stressed from the stupid job I hate so it will be nice to hopefully lose myself in activities this weekend.

Activities for this weekend:
1 - I randomly went and saw Sucker Punch at the dollar theater.  I was driving by on my way home and on a whim pulled in to see what was playing right then.  Sucker Punch, I had wanted to see before, was playing at the right time so that worked out. Not bad for $1.25.  Not sure how I'd feel about it if I paid $7.50 or more.

2 - I am going to 6 Flags on Saturday.  I got another season pass since I think Stephan and I are going when they come in July and I think my sister and I are going to Six Flags in San Antonio Memorial Day.

3 - I want to spend my Kohl's cash this weekend and get a new pair of shoes.  Or a new pair of work pants.

4 - Oh. I'm going to the rodeo Saturday night.  I peeved about how ridiculously difficult it was to buy a ticket online, but I succeeded with the last card I have.  I am hoping that I have fun at it.

5 - I am thinking of de-cluttering my flat surfaces.  My kitchen table has become the recepticle of all things I don't know what to do with.  That's not really fun, but it would make me happy to be done with that.  And I would have a place to spread out arts & crap supplies.

Yesterday evening

I was having one of those days yesterday, you know the ones... what if every decision I've made since [insert xyz time frame here, but in my case it was leaving California in 2002] was the wrong one?  I'm over it now.  It's amazing what sunshine and cool but gorgeous weather will do for a person.  I also have to keep telling myself that had I not left CA I wouldn't be embarking on a whole new career change.  I would just keep working in HR and letting this new potential career die altogether.  I wouldn't hate my job so much that it has convinced me to not do it anymore.  I know that seems drastic - just because I hate my current job doesn't mean I have to give up the whole career - but I think the job just forced into focus what I couldn't or didn't see.  I don't like where HR is going. It is becoming more and more about the bottom line than about the people I serve.  I'm sure it is necessary but I don't want to be part of it. 

I'm going hiking today. I'm very excited about that.  I think that since I've been going to school, I've not been on a Sunday adventure in a long time.  Although this is a Saturday Adventure. They are having a hike to see the blue bonnets at the Fort Worth Nature Center where I typically go hiking.  I should probably pull my water pack out of storage.

Hopefully this is right...

My horoscope for today: Earthquakes can't be predicted, and they can change an entire landscape in seconds. Get ready for your own personal earthquake to strike soon. The shift itself may be a bit scary, but the aftermath will create a world with a lot more opportunity for you. Some barriers will fall and enable you to see a much clearer path. The shifting is quietly happening right now, and you may get a hint or two about what's in store for you when some little changes happen.


I'm a little troubled by the parallel to earthquakes and hope to goodness that this was written before today's repeat earthquake in Japan. I'm hoping it happens, though. I need something to happen soon. (that's hopefully good).

Is this grad school?

This is my first go around with grad school. I don't know what it should or shouldn't be.  I was talking to a couple of classmates on Wednesday about our class.  They both hate it.  They think the prof gives too much busy work. I can see their point.  We have to do 4 article summaries every week and an info hunt (we have to search for information using whatever method prescribed by the prof) each week.  Everything is worth a lot of points so if you don't do well on one thing it won't irreparably damage your grade.  This is, honestly, my favorite class right now.  I am fine with busy work and I like that there's a lot of points on the table so that if I screw something up (like I may or may not have done in one of my other classes) it isn't going to completely decimate my grade. (Ok to be fair, in my other class it was just a B grade on a paper.) Since this is my first time in grad school, I have no idea if this class is normal (I'm getting the impression it isn't) or not.  I can't be the only one who appreciates a lot of opportunity to do well, can I?

Dream wedding

I was thinking today about if I ever got married how fun it would be to get married on April fool's day.  If I did that, I think everyone should have to wear top hats. All the guests that is. I think I'd use a copy of The Fool tarot card for place cards.  And I think it would be just tea and cakes. (Gluten free cakes of course).  I don't like tea though so I'm not sure what I would drink. And there'd be dancing. I don't really dance but I think there should always be dancing at weddings. But no rap music. I don't like rap music. Oh and it will be outside. In a garden. With blooming flowers (hopefully but if not that's okay). Now to find the man. :)  

Only Prank I'll Ever Do

Once upon a time I played an April Fool's Prank. I am not usually successful at these. I am uncomfortable with them. I'm not that creative about them. However THIS prank was the best prank ever. :) And it is the 6th anniversary.

Rays attacking me!

I blame a recent Amazing Race episode for the dream I had last night. I dreamt that I was swimming in a giant aquarium and sometimes on land.  At first the manta ray was just gliding peacefully around the bottom of the tank and there were sharks too. (Seriously, this was a challenge on The Amazing Race which looked kick ass) but then I floundered around a bit and caught the ray's attention and it decided to attack me.  It could change its size at will. AND It could fly out in the sky so it didn't matter that I kept getting out of the water. Here's the really interesting part to me according to dreammoods.com.

Manta Ray: To dream that you or someone is attacked by a school of manta rays, indicates that emotions that have been suppressed into your unconscious are becoming too overwhelming to keep inside any longer.

That's not at all disturbing.

Homesick

Sometimes I get 'homesick' for Seattle.  Since Michelle has been in Texas twice in the last two months, it has reminded me of, among other things, I have no friends here yet.  And while, in general, I'm not the friendliest of people, I do sometimes get lonely for company that isn't just me and the cat.  I was playing on the Kinect on Sunday and I couldn't help but think how much more fun it would have been if I were playing with someone.  (Or maybe not since I was making a fool of myself running in place and jumping.)  I haven't found good Indian food here yet.  Or good Thai. Or good gluten-free pizza. I hate my job. I honestly feel like I'm floundering sometimes and I dream of going back to Seattle.  But the job I had there is no more, and even if it was there I don't think I want to work for that boss or that other boss any longer. It would be nice to have my friends here.  I miss Seattle's electricity. it was way cheaper there.

The good things about here:  Closer to my sister. Swimming pool at my apartment. Cheaper rent. Own a car. Have a cat. (I could have done that in seattle I know). Six flags. lower cost of everything except electricity. HUGE apartment.  HUGE BEAUTIFUL apartment. Cheaper than Seattle's was. Housekeeper, dishwasher, washer/dryer in unit. Seriously, people, those are beautiful things.

Unrelated to all this mumbling about being home sick, I have to find ways to cut expenses.  I think after Sunday night's Big Love I'm cutting fancy cable. There's nothing ever on it I want to watch. It is pointless. I have netflix and a blockbuster card. I'll get it back when True Blood returns in the summer. :)

Hedging my luck

I bought 4 lottery tickets tonight.  Two for Lotto and two for Megamillions. My fingers are crossed. (I know I know I know) In order to encourage my luck, I used my last dollar to buy an MDA shamrock. That's good deed right? So that means I should win right?

One of the harder things about moving to a new place (besides having to make new friends, don't even ask me about that at all) is finding new products and brands. I have lived on the west coast for so long the only brand of cheese I like is tilamook.  I love tilamook cheese.  It is very very difficult to find it here for some reason.  (You know not being on the west coast and all that).  However I've found something that makes me just as happy (or maybe happier)... Cabot cheese is available here! I first had Cabot cheese in Vermont visiting Katie girl (Hi Katiegirl!).  I do love me some Cabot cheese and even better it is "president's choice" (the generic Kroger brand). Yay! That's a happy thing to find.

I know you have opinions.

For my birthday my mom is sending me money for a new bed. I may be going to my nemesis, who didn't hire me, big discount department store.  Here are the ones I've found so far that I've liked.

 Found at overstock.com.  I would have looked at more of theirs online but their website started downloading a virus so I had to close the window.

 I THINK this is my favorite one. Although I'd really like to see it in person so that I can feel the texture of the bed. Can be bought at nemesis didn't hire me store.

 Also found at nemesis didn't hire me store.  I like the metal/wood combo.

 I like how it is curvy like a spider web or a giant dream catcher. (Also from nemesis store)

I like the simple straight forwardness of this one.

Current furniture in the bedroom are a white bookshelf, a white dresser with black knobs and a white desk and 1 wooden bookshelf cherry color.  I love the white dresser so I probably won't change that anytime soon. 

WWJD

What would Joanne do? :)

We had a conversation in class the other night about ethics and information professionals. The prof said that there is some indication that Timothy McVeigh (OKC Bombing) consulted a librarian about bomb building.  She asked would we give that out.  I was the only one in class to say no. And my statement was more along the lines of I couldn't live with myself if I found out information I gave out had caused the deaths of people in that fashion.  A couple people went down the "slippery slope" route... if you don't give out "how to make a bomb" where does it stop.  We shouldn't judge what people would like to know. Blah blah blah. The ALA believes that we should provide information without judging the information being requested but there's one guy we read about who agrees with my way of thinking. You have to consider society. Someone else pointed out (or maybe it was slippery slope girl) that it would be like pharmacists refusing to give out the morning after pill.  I quickly pointed out that a - pharmacists have a binding professional oath as opposed to librarians who have a voluntary oath and b - many many places have upheld that pharmacists can refuse to provide the morning after pill. (And physician's don't all have to provide abortions if they do not choose to.) Anyway, apparently I'm a dissenter in my class.