I hear ya sistah. I had a hard time sleeping last night, and woke up at 7 freakin o'clock again this morning. At about 8:30, I decided to go back to bed and slept until 11:00. If I ever have kids, that would all end. Of course there are other things to look forward to. Snuggling down with them in bed at 8:00 on a snowy morning (ok maybe not for y'all in CA). Watching them take their first steps. The first time they go out on a date. Watching them walk across that stage and get their diploma. Holy shit where is this coming from?? Go back to my life being ALL ABOUT ME... :) Sleeping late, wearing pajamas until noon, staying out drinking until 2 AM (ok I don't actually do that one). Damn hormones. :)

So this is what is making me feel my age this weekend. We are thinking about having kids (although not trying to at this point) and this morning - even though it was almost noon, it was still technically morning - I realized that if we had kids already there was no way in hell I would be eating cereal in bed, still in my pyjamas, watching The Virgin Suicides. Btw, it is two hours later and I am still in my pyjamas although I have washed my face and I am contemplating going oustide, but really only to go see a movie. I think I will miss this life.

Is it a bad sign that I have JUST realized why I couldn't find Saturday Night Live on TV last night.

On a 2nd note, it is slightly wrong how happy I am about this... given that we're talking about 15x12= 180 bucks total. :)

Yahooligans! Good has triumphed over evil. I saw stupidass landlord in the hall just now and here is the convo:
Me - Hey Jaddua, Can I get a copy of my lease?
SAL (Stupidasslandlord) - looking confused Why do you want a copy of that?
Me - Because you didn't give me a copy when I signed it in September.
SAL - still looking confused When you signed it in September?
Me - Yes, remember I signed a new lease in September. You were going to give me a copy, but you never did.
SAL - light dawning Oh that's right you signed a new lease in September. You can disregard that increase notice then. I'll call the office (yeah right) on Monday. They asked me for a list of all the people on month to month leases. I'll get you a copy.
Me - sweet as pie Thank you.

Ahh yes good triumphing over stupid! :D

I AM BORED. So apparently in my OLD age I have lost the ability to entertain myself. At about 7:45 this evening, I decided I didn't want to watch TV anymore so I figured I would wander around the apartment and find something to do. Thus far I have done (notice not COMPLETED) the following -
1. Cleaned out my clothes from the closet to get rid of some. Now they are piled on my bed in anticipation of me finally allowing myself to go to bed and putting them all back on the hangers.
2. Knitting - I've done two more rows.
3. Cleaning the bathroom - I cleaned the toilet and the mirror, then decided I didn't want to do it anymore.
4. Puzzle - I poured all these puzzle pieces on the floor to do a puzzle and realized I didn't have the attention span needed to actually DO anything.
5. Lay on bed stare at newly painted walls. This actually took up quite a bit of time and is obviously highly important.

I didn't want to go out tonight because I'm feeling very very poor. I think in January (the dumbest time ever I know) I am going to have to look for a 2nd job. I love the one I have too much to quit, but as much as I thought I could, I can't live on what I earn. This is depressing on so many levels. Especially considering that my rent is going up. Now here's where I'm confused... I thought once I signed a lease that ensured that my rent would NOT go up in the year I was under the lease. Apparently I am deluded and have no idea the purpose of a lease. I'm so glad useless gayboy landlord put the note on my door today, you know, as opposed to yesterday when it would've ruined my holiday. Whatever... I feel I must interject at this point that my landlord is not useless because he is gay, but entirely because he is USELESS. It has been something like 3 months since I signed my new lease and he was supposed to make a copy and give it to me. So far, no copy. Jackass.

In other news, I'm giving up cable in about 4 days. This could prove traumatizing, but we shall see. According to Valdosia (?), Fallopia (?), Glendimir (?) what's that boy's name? ;) we get basic cable for free in the apartment. We'll see if that works. There could be MANY more of these posts if he is wrong. I just can't justify the expense anymore. They've raised the rates like twice since I got it. That's a racket I want to get into. Cable... I wonder how one does that? I bet I could make money with that. Otherwise I have to find a way... Part of me secretly hopes that my boss's husband gets this job he is interviewing for and that it provides enough money and benefits so that she won't come back to work after her baby is born. I WANT HER JOB! I want it very very badly. I'm not used to this poverty and I do not like it one bit. I think beloved bronco needs brakes and that seriously stresses me out. (Obviously since I don't want to go careening into a person and especially since the longer I let it go the more damage is probably being done and the more it will cost to repair. Should've just gotten them fixed to begin with.)

In other news... vacation in less than a month. Yippee for me! I can't wait! That's all for now kiddos, tah tah!

Ok so I've almost finished painting my bedroom, FINALLY. I have a tiny bit of wall left. Then I went to the grocery store. What an exciting Friday. I'm exhausted though. I was up early this morning and painted for hours. Hmmm... nap time I think. :) Next up... the living room.

Well it is over and done with and I survived. :) Ray picked me up at about 10 after 12 and we proceeded to drive down to his parents' house. I didn't realize that we were talking about an hour and a half drive. We chatted on the way down. It seems like when we first get together each time we go out we spend the first 15 - 20 min in not an uncomfortable silence but with much less talking then as we hang out longer we talk much more. We ended up going straight to his aunt's house (she was the one hosting the family) since we would've missed his parents if we had stopped there first. He has A LOT of family that were there. I think there were something like 20 - 30 people. We hung out for a while until it was time for dinner. His mom and aunt joined us at one of the tables. They were both really nice. In fact his whole family was really nice. It was kind of weird to me. They're much hmmm... the word... cleaner than I am. There were a couple times when a comment was made and all I could think of was an obscene way to interpret it, however I held my tongue. After supper, we sat and talked with his mom and a couple of aunts, played cards. It was a lot of fun. I was by far much quieter than I usually am. All in all, it was a good time and I'm glad I went. Yes, Michelle, I asked him out for sat night but he has to work at the Sonics game on Sat night and I was too damn tired to come up with another plan. Again I don't know if I'll see him again or not. I THINK he really likes me, of course I've been wrong before. :) On the good side, I don't have to clean this weekend. :)

Happy Turkeyday eve (Actually technically it is Thanksgiving right now)! I just got back from playing darts with the boys again tonight. Tonight also involved drinking whereas last night did not. There were a lot of boys out that we haven't seen before. We played darts with a couple boys Vlad knows from another bar. It was fun, but only because I kicked their asses all the games! Vlad kept picking up drinks that weren't his. It cracked me up when he picked up this one guys and just stood there looking confused. Then he picked up another glass and spit the drink in the other glass. He apparently at one time picked up MY drink and took a sip. Must've been a huge surprise since the drinks Eric makes for me are totally sugary sweet. Hmm what else. Our friend Dana showed up and gave me crap about abandoning them tomorrow and going somewhere else for Thanksgiving. OH oh oh... I almost forgot (how could I?) I went to grab my jacket and there were these two guys standing in the corner. Both claimed to be str8. Oh please fake str8 in my view. So they chatted with me for a min and one gave me a kiss. I can be an obliging type of girl so I pecked his cheek. Then the other encouraged his friend to kiss me again. He tried to use his tongue. EEEWWW!!! Yucky fake str8 boys. Count down until noon. EEEK!! :)

Ok so I just got home from out playing darts with the boys. I joined Vlad at RPlace. While there, Casey and Adrian joined us. Casey and I have known each other for quite a while (in gayboy terms that means more than 1 month). Casey is one of those boys who always has his hands on me. He did this thing with his tongue and my ear... oh my god.... I suddenly needed a cold shower. I know he is gay and all, but damn... :) And damn that week post period where I'll consider jumping pretty much almost anything with a dick. Hmmm... Thanksgiving I'll be right in the middle of that... ;)

Hey now kids be nice to me! I am a walking talking ball of anxiety and stress and almost near nauseus panic.

I have no idea what will be served. He knows about gluten intolerance and knows I have it so hopefully that means there will be SOMETHING... I don't know about bringing wine. I don't know their alcohol views - at least the mom is churchy (Although she is Catholic and they love wine...). Perhaps I will go with flowers.

Will I finish painting the bedroom? I am starting to doubt that. It involves moving stuff. :( And when I get inspired to do it, I end up lying down on the bed to think for a minute and doze off. I am sure that's a sign of old age. Sure I can paint your bathroom, I'm bound to do a better job than its present color. I'll get right on it. Of course I want to finish my bedroom and my living room first but you'll be next on the list. :)

Ok ok I'll stop referring to him as the boy... Although he is younger than I... He is my baby sister's age!! (Ok 26 but still). When do you get to meet Ray? HA! As if! When I'm sure you won't scare him off... then you can meet him. :) So probably when you officiate at our wedding. ;)

Yes, I much prefer when I call him "the yeti" on IM. Much more mature than "the boy".

So, Joanne, what do you think you're going to eat at this Thanksgiving dinner? Are you going to bring a bottle of wine? Will you dress up? Will you actually finish painting your bedroom anytime soon? When you're done with your bedroom, you can do my bathroom.
Oh...when do I get meet Ray?

I told Joanne to stop referring to him as 'boy'. That's not healthy. I would never objectify a man like that.
hahahaha ok, maybe I would, but still! She shouldn't.

--Valdosia

Meet the family...hehehehe sounds like a Ben Stiller movie.

Thank you for acknowledging it wasn't my fault the guy was a doofus... He started out the evening okay... AND I didn't know the whole back story behind why you ditched him. Apparently I'm just a doofus magnet. ;)

I agree, Michelley, rereading old letters from college is quite the experience. I haven't done it since I moved from California to Seattle. I still love the one I have from Vlad about how useless the internet is. I should frame that one. :)

I'm having a slight panic attack. The boy (of we've had 4 dates) asked me to Thanksgiving at his family's house. HIS FAMILY! MEET THE FAMILY! I don't know if I can cope. I may need to breathe in a paper bag or something.

There is nothing that will make you feel older than reading letters from college. The young 'uns these days aren't going to have this singular pleasure due to the advent of email which was a frightening experience when we were in college. There were so many letters about how we couldn't wait to be 21 and how we it felt like we had been waiting sooooo long. Guys who I barely remember now caused us so much angst back in the day. I lamented in one letter about how I would be absolutely heartbroken if it didn't work out with this one guy. Turns out I was wrong. Ain't no thing. What makes me saddest though is reading about a former weight loss goal. Damn I'm fat now!

Well, it's like almost 5am and I'm just getting back from a very odd night. I had to go out tonight to make up for being royally pissed at the guy Joanne tried to set me back up with last night. Oh, it's not Joanne's fault the guy was a dufus. What can you say about those Canadians. Sometimes, I wonder if they really speak English up there in Canadia. lol *a reference from the movie Trick*
Well, I met 3 boys and none of them were worth my time except for Kyle. Joanne, you'll never believe who Kyle is.

I ain't never had me no chit'lins, but I sho knows how to say it.

Happy Monday! The best thing about this week... It is short! :) Hypothetically that means that I can accomplish all that I need to this weekend that I'm ALWAYS putting off like finishing painting my apartment. (Oh please who am I kidding... I will NEVER finish this project...) I went out last night and hung out with Vlad and our friend from Alaska, Dana. We had an okay time. V left and Dana and I played darts. I nearly pegged this fake str8 boy Patrick with a dart - okay I came nowhere near hitting him, but when he walked back from his board for some reason he arced into my path and made a big production about his life flashing before his eyes. (I call him fake straight because although he claims to be straight he hangs out at this bar a lot... V swears he is straight though). I am having difficulty accepting that it is both Thanksgiving this week and that it is almost Christmas. How does this happen? I was in Jamba Juice this morning and they were blasting some Christmas Carol. I wanted to scream NOT YET!! Too soon! Can't I have like a month or two more? Apparently not.

I think I can say with certainty that white people really do mispronounce chitterlings as I sit here and not only wonder how to pronounce that, but also what the hell chitterlings are. Had a good time on my date. After the game, we went to the Keg for food. That is some yummy food! And, Michelle will be so proud of me, I didn't even bother with the fake reach for the wallet. That is some yummy food but that shit's mad expensive! We sat and talked until the restaurant turned on it's lights. I've never had that happen before. :) I hope to go out with him again, but we shall see. Have all sorts of mundane tasks to do today, maybe I should just go get a book and go on a ferry ride instead. I'll have to see if Vlad will go with me. ;)

Thank God I don't have any hair!!! This Gray Hair thread needs to die!
Anyway, I spent the evening drinking and doing a pub crawl. I was almost assaulted by one of the bar staff up at the Cuff. That's one of Seattle's quote/unquote leather bars. It's more like a Cardigan bar. I went to the Eagle (Seattle's hardcore leather/S&M bar) and found my FB Greg. He was drunk and continuing to get drunker. He then proceeded to pull his pants down and show everyone his gingerbread. There's something to be said about propriety. I was soooo not impressed. So I took my ass home. So now, here I sit. Watching BET Comicview and wondering, much like the Comedian is wondering now...if white people really do mispronounce chitterlings.

Peace out

On gray hairs...

I saw your drunken post that included a gray hair. At least your hair is fairly light. I, of the almost black hair, can easily discern the gray hairs. Fortunately, I only have four. That thing about five or ten or a hundred growing back if you pluck one - that's crap. I saw my first gray hair on my 20th birthday. I was like, "So now that I am not a teenager, I get fucking gray hairs?" It grows right in my part about an inch back from my hair line. I usually spot it when it gets to be about half an inch to three-quarters of an inch long and I pluck it as soon as I can. That was the only gray hair I had for a long time, maybe six years. Then I found another one about three inches back from that one, also near my part. Maybe another year or two after that I found a third gray hair growing close to the second one. Just last week I found a very wispy one growing in those little baby hairs that I have at the edge of my hairline at the corners of my forehead. I just remembered, I haven't plucked that one yet. Four gray hairs isn't too bad.

Classic movie from my youth is on cable this morning. Pump up the volume. Classic Christian Slater, you know before his wife kicked his ass. Christian Slater, I had a huge movie star crush on him when I was young. C'mon Heathers, Pump Up the Volume. He was dangerous, and like many girls, I find that exciting. Nice guys do finish last, mostly because we watch all these movies where the love of a good woman turns a bad man good (or they secretly already have a good side and a good woman brings it out in him.). What cheese. Holy Cow... I THINK there was just a scene with a very young Seth Green, hard to tell, but I didn't think he was old enough. Now that I see that the movie came out in 1990, so it is entirely possible that it is Seth Green. The mom is Dharma's mom from Dharma & Greg. Anyhoo enough rambling on about this old movie. Have a fabulous Saturday!

Ahhh we knew it would happen. A drunken blog post. :) I am presently in my jammies eating beef jerky and watching Law and Order and trying to sober up before I go to bed so I won't be hung over tomorrow. (So much for my behaving myself tonight.) I'm trying Vlad's pre-cure for a hangover and drinking a big glass of h2o and I have taken 2 asprins. Eric my cute str8 bartender claims that since I drink drinks with redbull in them, this means no hangover. He gave me some complicated bartender explanation that I didn't understand so I just smiled and nodded. Please by the time we were having this discussion I would've smiled and nodded at anything he said. ;) And oh my how would I like to smile and nod at him for other things... Of course he is shacking up with some chick who has had his baby or something like that...
So, horrors of horrors, as I was walking home I realized I was staggering. STAGGERING... There is always that point in the drinking when you realize that really, you are drunk. The staggering was it. I could barely walk a straight line! How embarrassing (actually would be embarrassing if I had actually seen anyone on the way home but since it was just in my imagination that I should be embarrassed I wasn't.)!
As I predicted gay boys are unreliable. Casey didn't show up. Big surprise. However, I did get to see my a bunch of people I don't usually get to see. I saw this guy Andrew who I haven't seen in a long time. Poor guy, he had moved to San Francisco and then moved back and had a brain anyurism. He is like 22. He apparently was in intensive care for a long time and now has burcitis in his hip. He was barely walking and is subject to drinking only coke. No alcohol. Oh the horrors. I had all these funny ideas about what to write about tonight as I was walking home but they've all escaped my head somehow. Lenny ebedo... I hope you're my friend Elena otherwise I don't know who you are and that's just unacceptable... Is that you gogo? :) OMG Garfield and Friends is on. See those of us who are 30 (or over) will remember this show from our childhood. Ahhh now I feel old. I found a gray hair today while at work. Of course I pulled it, and now 5 more are going to replace it I'm sure. MMMm... beeef jerky. I need to go to that Oh Boy Oberto outlet store. That shit's expensive. Eeek! Vlad and I hung out and played darts and video games. He was looking particularly fabulous as always. I think that's all for tonight as I am sitting here and doing the head bobbing falling asleep thing... more excitement tomorrow as I will be going on date number 4. DATE # 4!! Ahhh the anxiety of it all.

i clicked on vlads link and looked at all of his naked pictures. what a nice suprise. all i have to say about that is... glad i clicked.
about turning 30... thirty, schmirty....

So courtesy of myfriendmichelle, it has come to my attention that my nephew is 17 years old. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I'm sure I already knew this much like I know my niece is 13 and other random ages and dates that I need to know periodically, but this one has been rudely thrust into the foreground. And why was it thrust there, dear reader? She pointed out that some of her cousins are graduating high school this year. It dawned on me like a light going off... my nephew is graduating high school in June. HIGH SCHOOL! I remember my own graduation from high school. That wasn't THAT long ago. He was 6ish then. I remember when he was born, ok I don't actually remember that since I didn't know about it - long story, but I do remember meeting him when he was like 5 weeks old. He moved in with us shortly after that. I remember baking cookies with him. He, in his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles apron, appropriately butch enough so his evil father wouldn't worry about me making a sissy out of him, and me in my frilly white one from my mom. I think he was like 2 or 3 at the time and he had to stand on a chair to help me. What else do I remember- him screaming at 3 AM, his little baby pool and him splashing around in it, taking him to parent & tot swimming lessons and he would scream until his lips turned blue from being cold and his unwillingness to move. I remember all this the way a regular parent looks back as his/her child is about to move on to a next phase of life. The kid will be old enough to vote, and more terrifying, old enough to be sent to war (actually given his Republican upbringing maybe I should be more worried about him voting.). He'll be going to college and hopefully have his eyes opened about how people are people and we shouldn't hate based on fears or stereotypes. He has learned that from his father. What does this have to do with 30 angst you are probably wondering? Everything! It is time marching on whether I want it to or not. Am I still going to be the cool aunt at 30? Will I suddenly find myself spouting Republican ideas? (ok probably I won't wake up on March 13, 2004 and spew forth the Republican party line) And finally, this definitely means I'm getting old and isn't that the crux of 30 angst?

More 30 angst recently... I was talking to one of the mom's of one of my brownies and she is only 28!! I thought she was older based apparently entirely on my own perceptions of people with children... ONLY 28!! (Not that this in any way indicates she was like 16 or anything when she had her daughter who I think is like 7.) I have no kids at almost 30. I have a job that I love but no savings at almost 30. I rent a teeny tiny apartment at almost 30 so no house or back yard or anything. And my car is slowly death spiraling towards oblivion. Yet I cannot afford to replace him. (The only str8 man actively in my life is my beloved Bronco Ben.)

So them who know me know about my boy... my gay boy (who has instructed me to say that he is my wildly handsome and oddly unobtainable gay boy)... the will to my grace... I can tell the road we're going down based on some of the more crazy conversations we have... here is this morning's example...

Vladimir says:
I have to update Labonde's server tonight at 5pm. Then I'm going home...changing and heading to RPlace. I have to call Brock to find out what time he'll be out if he goes out at all.
Just Jo says:
i'll get off at 5 but want to eat something for dinner i'm sure. then head out. if casey shows it is 9 we agreed on so...
Just Jo says:
of course there is a lot of damage that can be done between 7 and 9!
Just Jo says:
I have to not be hung over on sat though because ray is picking me up around 3ish.
Vladimir says:
lol
Vladimir says:
Just drink a glass of water between each drink and take an aspirin or something BEFORE you go to bed.
Just Jo says:
please i have a hard enough time sometimes figuring out where i am let alone remembering to do a bunch of things.
Vladimir says:
hahahaha
Vladimir says:
You'll remember.
Vladimir says:
I want to take Brock to the Chapel tonight. I DON'T want to hang out in RPlace.
Just Jo says:
so take brock to the chapel and don't hang out at rplace.
Vladimir says:
I will, already. Meanwhile, you'll be back at RPlace getting sloshed with Casey...supposedly.
Just Jo says:
pretty much... and if he doesn't show i'll be at rplace getting sloshed with whatever other gay boys that i know (or don't know yet) that are there... just a nice wholesome sat night.
Just Jo says:
friday night
Vladimir says:
Dana should be there, too.
Just Jo says:
oh so there we go... all the entertainment i need.
Vladimir says:
And me if Brock can't make it.
Just Jo says:
mmm surrounded by beautiful boys who even though they are gay and drunk still call me beautiful... what more do i need in life?

And pretty much as I near 30, what more do I need in life?

This morning I have discovered it is 113 days until I turn 30. I am having a bit of trouble with that. That's less than 3 months (or maybe right at 3 months) either way 3 MONTHS!!! That's too soon. I don't want to be 30. I think I'm going to start counting backwards after this year.