I've joined match.com. I can't believe I've done it but I'm a follower and two of my friends are doing it and I think it is more fun to do it when friends do it together so we can mock the ridiculousness of some of the weirdos together. Like the ridiculousness of the 86 year old man in Utah who just emailed me. Well, according to his profile he is 86 so even if he isn't who the hell would want to date a guy who would make up an age? So either way he is 17 years older than my father which makes him an unlikely candidate. You know, unless he has money. :) I am, however, going to try to be open and embracing of the process, you know until I get yet another wink from yet another ultra conservative and I freak out all over the place. (I'm sure there'll be one that will be the straw that breaks the back and all that.)
Now the above rant will be particularly ironic considering what I'm about to bitch about. My single friends who complain that they can't meet anyone or nobody wants to meet them or whatever and yet their standards are so ridiculously high. I get there has to be some attraction there or something, but seriously to dismiss someone 15 minutes after meeting them is kind of harsh. In the interest of full disclosure I will confess to having done so, but in all honesty the guy was a good 5 inches shorter than me, appeared to be somewhat to considerably older and reeked so badly of pot I thought I was going to get a contact high. So that's not high standards that's eliminating the completely obvious. I digress. Last night Big R (who less than a week ago was bitching high and low about how the gays don't like him and how he'll never find a man blah blah blah) was getting chatted up by a kind of goofy guy about his age. The guy wasn't a Brad Pitt or anything, but was his body type and seemed nice enough. And he wasn't totally a troll. When we left he bitched about how the guy kept talking to him. He barely gave the guy half a chance. (Maybe I'm being judgemental because honestly I get the potheads who are as old as my father... rarely does anyone in my own age bracket talk to me.) My other friend in California, not Michelle, frequently bitches about not meeting men yet she'll discard one with the flimsiest of reasons. Her favorite, she just didn't 'feel the click.' Give me a break and give people a chance! They may surprise you. Maybe I am a romantic at heart but I think real love develops once you get to know someone and I've said it before, someone who looks like Clint Howard can end up being as hot to you as Brad Pitt once you realize what an awesome person he is. And someone as hot as Brad Pitt can appear to be the dog doo on your shoe once you realize what a terrible ass he is.
4 comments:
I think it goes both ways...some people get that instant click and some develop deep and amazing love over time. I have a feeling lasting relationships can come from either but a combination of attaction and friendship are essential regardless of how the initial feelings are.
I had a relationship through high school and much of college with someone I never felt the click for but loved very much because he was my best friend and I trusted him with my heart and emotions. We were a big part of each other's lives and families for a long time. We went through a lot together and I like to think he is part of who I am today. I still think of him fondly but we didn't have the click and obviously because I am not married to him, we were not meant to be.
My husband was someone I felt that click for. We didn't date for at least three weeks but I felt that click the first day I saw him. I don't know that I would have liked him had I met him when either of us was younger...we are not alike in a lot of ways, but for some reason, the timing was right for us and after that initial click, we got to know each other and the best frienship is what made us want to be together forever. The click alone would not have been enough for us to stay together going on 15 years, but the click definitely got my attention.
Good luck with Match.com, I have some single friends that are on there too and seem to like it. I don't know how much it has helped them yet but it is worth trying, I am sure.
Yo Jo,
I tagged you for a meme - if you want to play! Laura/Blaugra
http://blaugra.typepad.com/blaugra/2006/12/weird_game_1.html
I came back to actually read your post. Sometimes I wish I were single so I could join match.com because it would be fun.
My husband and I, our relationship went from semi-lust, to like, to friendship, to love, to marriage and it took a long time. If I based everything on my first impression of his appearance, clothing, and the fact that he didn't buy me a drink, I wouldn't be with him today and we wouldn't have all the funny stories about how we met.
I agree - I think some people are hastily judgmental - you need to respect yourself enough to have deal breakers but allow yourself to have fun and explore and be surprised.
I'm on match as well, and what you said is so true.
What I REALLY don't understand is people who have profiles with no picture. Digital cameras are super cheap--you can even get disposable ones from CVS for about $15, or you can use a regular camera and have your pictures returned on CD. If you can't cough up the extra dough to do either of those options, I don't have high hopes for your relationship.
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