For the longest time Sunday was my favorite day of the week. I'm a morning person and since Sundays are lazy days for a lot of people (or church days for others) I could get up, do my laundry and run my errands in the morning leaving me the afternoons free to do Sunday Adventures! In some respects, that hasn't changed for me here in Texas. I'm still an early riser. Since I have a washer & dryer in my apartment I don't have to fight the laundry room crowd so I don't always do my laundry on Sundays. I get up and go to brunch or breakfast and then (currently) spend the afternoon in my practicum or else working on homework.
The hard thing about Sundays is that there was always a cloud hanging over my head. Sundays meant going to work on Monday and goodness knows I didn't want to do that. The amount I dreaded work increased throughout Sunday until Sunday night when I would have a hard time sleeping. With my new job, at least currently, I don't dread Sundays. This past Sunday I got up early, went to breakfast and then went shopping before my practicum at 1:00. It was nice. I had forgotten how much I love Sundays. The only down side to Sundays in Texas is that a lot of stores don't open until later than I'd like. But a minor issue and once my practicum is over, I'll get to play again.
Monday, March 05, 2012
Friday, March 02, 2012
On Dying & Pets
My parents have 2 cats. Max and something else. Sweetums I think. They are LONG haired cats because my mother loves Persian cats. Sweetums is old, I think. Max is not so old maybe 3. My parents are OLD (75 & 70). It dawned on me recently that the odds are good one or more of the cats will outlive them. Since my nephew, who kind of liked Max I think, lives with Satan right now he wouldn't be able to take them. That leaves them to my sister or I or one each. The reason I got Sam was because he's a short haired cat. Many of my friends are cat allergic and while a cat is still a cat, short hair is easier on them than long hair. They can tolerate the short hair for a longer period of time. It is a sort of compromise without really being one. Also I hate Persian cat coats because they require intensive maintenance. I brush Sam when his fur is shedding into my face a lot, but I never have to worry about him looking like a psychotic ball of mats.
A couple of tweeps suggested ASPCA or euthanasia. Neither is really an option. We have a long and somewhat weird history with pets. Growing up we always had cats and dogs. All of our pets were strays acquired either from shelters or somehow through my older sister. Especially from my older sister who would acquire them and then be living in a place that wouldn't let her have them. I have no idea where Charlie (cat named after Charlie Bucket from Willy Wonka) or Keffie (daschund) came from (I believe they moved from PA with us when I was 4ish). Mouse (a dachapoo) came from my sister. We went to the animal shelter when I was age something (like 6 or 7) and I got to adopt Midnight (black cat obviously). Boogack (another black cat I think my sister named it and it may have had another realer name before that one which if I think about it hard enough the original name may have actually been "Black cat") also came from a shelter. Nick (another daschund) came via my sister. Smokey (gray cat awesome but a hugeass bitch) sister. Sebastian I adopted from the shelter via my mother who was there for some random reason. We had to put Seb down maybe 2 years later tops for feline leukemia. For a brief time we had TJ Waterbuffalo (a sheepdog who went to live on one of my sisters' friends' ranches he was just way too big for our little house and yard) and he came from my sister natch. There was Groucho who had been a neighbor's cat but decided she liked us better. (And the neighbor's grandmother with whom they were living was just fine with that solution). For awhile when my sister lived with us again her manx cat Jamie lived with us too. Jamie she always kept with her. I'm sure I may be forgetting a few. Oh after I left and was a grown up they acquired Ming (shih tzu) from when my grandmother died. And how could I forget the one that started her Persian obsession... I want to say his name was Buddy. He was gray. I think he came via my sister. He also, at one point in his life, got into a battle with a neighbor cat that he almost lost and got his throat ripped open. Or maybe that was Smokey. (Seriously the gray and the black cats run together after awhile). I also think there was a second Buddy in there, Max is kind of white but she had a tan Persian for awhile too. Champagne puddles (also Persian cat) I think also came via my sister (although I could be wrong about that one).
All in all, growing up we had a lot of pets most of whom were cast off and rejects from other places. Smokey had been a feral cat out at a trailer park where my sister lived for a time. How my sister decided we needed him I'll never know, but I liked Smokey even though she intially pretty much hated people. I was the only one who could flip her on her back and pet her chest while cradling her like a baby. My father always thought that was brave of me. It was drilled into me that you don't give up the pets. It isn't their fault if you are a fuck up. Now, as an adult I can definitely see the gray areas in pet ownership. If a pet is dangerous to to the family or other people, that's a problem. Having been attacked by someone's pet dog more than once (once requiring 9 stitches and had it been a little higher my girlie bits would be a lot different), I'll never say that all pets should be kept at all times by all people. And while I don't believe necessarily in "dangerous" breeds, I do know that some animals, due to inbreeding or just the way their mutt genes combine, don't turn out quite right. Champagne puddles (registered name Champagne Bubbles) was an awful cat. She never came out from under the bed, unless it was to pee on the bed. She peed on it once with my father in it asleep. They had to keep a shower curtain on the bed because of her. And yet, as my father pointed out, it wasn't her fault she was batshit crazy. Since she wasn't a danger to anyone, she got to live. We never, as I recall, had any dangerous dogs. The worst was probably Smokey who we mostly let have her own way until she got used to us. She was hostile, but not aggressive.
When my sister died in 2002, she behind more than just 2 kids. She and the kids had pets. The horses were actually already willed to people so that was taken care of. (And it was a good thing since Satan wanted to sell them out from under the rightful owners). I believe my nephew's dog had already died by that point. I know Jamie had passed by then. So that left a ferret named Slinky, a lunatic Australian Shepherd named Robin and my niece's cat Sugar. When I found out my sister died, one of the first things I said to my parents was make sure you take the ferret. I knew Satan wouldn't want him and wanted to make sure Slinky lived out the end of his life content. I offered to take him but they decided to hold on to him. So this left Robin and Sugar. As I understand it, Satan offered my 12ish year old niece a choice. She could keep Robin, her mother's dog, or Sugar, her cat. He then had Robin put down. To be remotely fair (not really) Robin was pretty old. Sugar was very young. He then left Sugar at the empty house until one of the rightful horse owners picked her up and brought her back to live with my parents.
In any event, the only way pets left the family, with the exception of TJ, is via their own death. Either we had them put to sleep after they were too sick and it was too cruel to make them live anymore or they died on their own somewhere in the house. I remember Charlie died under their bed. Midnight had to be put down due to Feline Leukemia. It happened while I was on vacation in Japan and I was heartbroken. The cats were all indoor/outdoor cats. They could come and go as they pleased and I feel fairly certain one of them became hawk food right out of our back yard.
I don't know what this will mean for Max and Sweetums. Sam HATES other cats and makes Max's life miserable whenever my parents drive through on their way to Florida. Of course he'd eventually get over it and/or Sweetums would knock Sam silly with her still clawed paws and that would be the end of that. But (Along with a house that would make the people on hoarders see dollar signs in terms of how much money we would have to pay them to take care of it all) they are something me (or my sister) will have to figure out when the time comes. I suppose it would be unkind of me to say to my mother "You can't get any more cats because you are old and I don't want to end up with them." But I kind of want to.
A couple of tweeps suggested ASPCA or euthanasia. Neither is really an option. We have a long and somewhat weird history with pets. Growing up we always had cats and dogs. All of our pets were strays acquired either from shelters or somehow through my older sister. Especially from my older sister who would acquire them and then be living in a place that wouldn't let her have them. I have no idea where Charlie (cat named after Charlie Bucket from Willy Wonka) or Keffie (daschund) came from (I believe they moved from PA with us when I was 4ish). Mouse (a dachapoo) came from my sister. We went to the animal shelter when I was age something (like 6 or 7) and I got to adopt Midnight (black cat obviously). Boogack (another black cat I think my sister named it and it may have had another realer name before that one which if I think about it hard enough the original name may have actually been "Black cat") also came from a shelter. Nick (another daschund) came via my sister. Smokey (gray cat awesome but a hugeass bitch) sister. Sebastian I adopted from the shelter via my mother who was there for some random reason. We had to put Seb down maybe 2 years later tops for feline leukemia. For a brief time we had TJ Waterbuffalo (a sheepdog who went to live on one of my sisters' friends' ranches he was just way too big for our little house and yard) and he came from my sister natch. There was Groucho who had been a neighbor's cat but decided she liked us better. (And the neighbor's grandmother with whom they were living was just fine with that solution). For awhile when my sister lived with us again her manx cat Jamie lived with us too. Jamie she always kept with her. I'm sure I may be forgetting a few. Oh after I left and was a grown up they acquired Ming (shih tzu) from when my grandmother died. And how could I forget the one that started her Persian obsession... I want to say his name was Buddy. He was gray. I think he came via my sister. He also, at one point in his life, got into a battle with a neighbor cat that he almost lost and got his throat ripped open. Or maybe that was Smokey. (Seriously the gray and the black cats run together after awhile). I also think there was a second Buddy in there, Max is kind of white but she had a tan Persian for awhile too. Champagne puddles (also Persian cat) I think also came via my sister (although I could be wrong about that one).
All in all, growing up we had a lot of pets most of whom were cast off and rejects from other places. Smokey had been a feral cat out at a trailer park where my sister lived for a time. How my sister decided we needed him I'll never know, but I liked Smokey even though she intially pretty much hated people. I was the only one who could flip her on her back and pet her chest while cradling her like a baby. My father always thought that was brave of me. It was drilled into me that you don't give up the pets. It isn't their fault if you are a fuck up. Now, as an adult I can definitely see the gray areas in pet ownership. If a pet is dangerous to to the family or other people, that's a problem. Having been attacked by someone's pet dog more than once (once requiring 9 stitches and had it been a little higher my girlie bits would be a lot different), I'll never say that all pets should be kept at all times by all people. And while I don't believe necessarily in "dangerous" breeds, I do know that some animals, due to inbreeding or just the way their mutt genes combine, don't turn out quite right. Champagne puddles (registered name Champagne Bubbles) was an awful cat. She never came out from under the bed, unless it was to pee on the bed. She peed on it once with my father in it asleep. They had to keep a shower curtain on the bed because of her. And yet, as my father pointed out, it wasn't her fault she was batshit crazy. Since she wasn't a danger to anyone, she got to live. We never, as I recall, had any dangerous dogs. The worst was probably Smokey who we mostly let have her own way until she got used to us. She was hostile, but not aggressive.
When my sister died in 2002, she behind more than just 2 kids. She and the kids had pets. The horses were actually already willed to people so that was taken care of. (And it was a good thing since Satan wanted to sell them out from under the rightful owners). I believe my nephew's dog had already died by that point. I know Jamie had passed by then. So that left a ferret named Slinky, a lunatic Australian Shepherd named Robin and my niece's cat Sugar. When I found out my sister died, one of the first things I said to my parents was make sure you take the ferret. I knew Satan wouldn't want him and wanted to make sure Slinky lived out the end of his life content. I offered to take him but they decided to hold on to him. So this left Robin and Sugar. As I understand it, Satan offered my 12ish year old niece a choice. She could keep Robin, her mother's dog, or Sugar, her cat. He then had Robin put down. To be remotely fair (not really) Robin was pretty old. Sugar was very young. He then left Sugar at the empty house until one of the rightful horse owners picked her up and brought her back to live with my parents.
In any event, the only way pets left the family, with the exception of TJ, is via their own death. Either we had them put to sleep after they were too sick and it was too cruel to make them live anymore or they died on their own somewhere in the house. I remember Charlie died under their bed. Midnight had to be put down due to Feline Leukemia. It happened while I was on vacation in Japan and I was heartbroken. The cats were all indoor/outdoor cats. They could come and go as they pleased and I feel fairly certain one of them became hawk food right out of our back yard.
I don't know what this will mean for Max and Sweetums. Sam HATES other cats and makes Max's life miserable whenever my parents drive through on their way to Florida. Of course he'd eventually get over it and/or Sweetums would knock Sam silly with her still clawed paws and that would be the end of that. But (Along with a house that would make the people on hoarders see dollar signs in terms of how much money we would have to pay them to take care of it all) they are something me (or my sister) will have to figure out when the time comes. I suppose it would be unkind of me to say to my mother "You can't get any more cats because you are old and I don't want to end up with them." But I kind of want to.
Thursday, March 01, 2012
New Job!
For those not following along at home, I quit my evil, horrible, made me sad, I can't work for this psycho bitch anymore job. Surprisingly while I worked out my notice, I actually got offered another job. I originally was only taking a week off between jobs, but evil boss decided she didn't want me there when she was gone, so I ended up leaving early from that job (and getting paid out). My baby sister and I went to DC which none of us have ever been to. We packed as much as we possibly could into our 4 days. It was AWESOME! And I have pictures I have to pull off the camera eventually.
I started the new job on Monday. So far it is good, but beginning a new job is exhausting. I was so tired yesterday, Wednesday, I fell asleep at 6:30. Woke up long enough to watch Revenge via the DVR (at 10) and then went back to bed. My new boss has really just started me right away on projects, which I appreciate. The downfall is that I have zero cell reception in my office.
I started the new job on Monday. So far it is good, but beginning a new job is exhausting. I was so tired yesterday, Wednesday, I fell asleep at 6:30. Woke up long enough to watch Revenge via the DVR (at 10) and then went back to bed. My new boss has really just started me right away on projects, which I appreciate. The downfall is that I have zero cell reception in my office.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Remembering Vlad
I've been running non-stop since Sunday to avoid thinking about this. My friend Volodiya died. Early readers of this blog, that may only be Michelle, may remember he used to post here periodically.
We met in college. He was the first gay person who I knew was gay. Even then, I had to have it explained to me since I thought since he had a picture of Marilyn Monroe that must mean he was straight. I was naive, I confess. We hung out through college. When Kate & I had our falling out he was there to pick up my pieces. He took me out to the middle of nowhere to celebrate my 21st birthday where we ate cake and drank a lot and had friends come out and drink. He's the reason I can type 80 words per minute. One of my favorite letters I received from him while he was in France complained about how useless the internet was. (This was pre-search engines). He used to call me up and say "Hey, Baby, what are you wearing?" My response was always "Nothing but a smile big boy." He would then scream like a girl and we would laugh and laugh. We spent one Christmas break playing Super Nintendo and listening to The Smiths. Only Morrissey understands!
Volodiya made me laugh and made me cry. He protected me. He drank with me. He supported me when I needed it. We grew apart and lost touch. I missed him and still do. And now he's gone and I'll never be able to apologize. And I'm not sure how I'll get over that.
We met in college. He was the first gay person who I knew was gay. Even then, I had to have it explained to me since I thought since he had a picture of Marilyn Monroe that must mean he was straight. I was naive, I confess. We hung out through college. When Kate & I had our falling out he was there to pick up my pieces. He took me out to the middle of nowhere to celebrate my 21st birthday where we ate cake and drank a lot and had friends come out and drink. He's the reason I can type 80 words per minute. One of my favorite letters I received from him while he was in France complained about how useless the internet was. (This was pre-search engines). He used to call me up and say "Hey, Baby, what are you wearing?" My response was always "Nothing but a smile big boy." He would then scream like a girl and we would laugh and laugh. We spent one Christmas break playing Super Nintendo and listening to The Smiths. Only Morrissey understands!
Volodiya made me laugh and made me cry. He protected me. He drank with me. He supported me when I needed it. We grew apart and lost touch. I missed him and still do. And now he's gone and I'll never be able to apologize. And I'm not sure how I'll get over that.
Wednesday, February 08, 2012
This is not a post about my work status or my schooling.
Aren't you relieved?
I needed a new skin care regime. My "T" zone was super dry and flakey sometimes. I went to Ulta and was chatting with one of the sales reps. She recommended Dermalogica so I bought one of those kits. I'm now being a grown up and not just using hand soap and regular facial lotion on my face. So far I like what it is doing to my face. It feels nice. AND I recently got a compliment on my face by a coworker. She said she could tell I'm doing something different.
I needed a new skin care regime. My "T" zone was super dry and flakey sometimes. I went to Ulta and was chatting with one of the sales reps. She recommended Dermalogica so I bought one of those kits. I'm now being a grown up and not just using hand soap and regular facial lotion on my face. So far I like what it is doing to my face. It feels nice. AND I recently got a compliment on my face by a coworker. She said she could tell I'm doing something different.
Tuesday, February 07, 2012
Bittersweet Relief
My period of unemployment theoretically is over before it even began. I was offered a job yesterday. I am excited about that. I am relieved about that. The thought of actually being unemployed scared me a lot. Now I say theoretically I was offered a job because technically I have not received an actual offer yet. I've received verbal confirmation that I'm their first choice, but right now they are calling my references and doing a background check. One of those two things could cause me to fail. Maybe. I hope not. I also don't know how much salary or what start date would be yet so although I may have a job, I'll believe it when I see it.
The Pros: in Fort Worth so I don't have to move from my current apartment. In an industry I've been hoping to break into. It is a job with income, hopefully comparable to what I earn now although I know the max is less than I currently earn. I can rehire the housekeeper. :) (although I won't until I actually get an offer and a salary).
The Cons: It isn't in a library. There's a fellowship I really want which would mean moving in July and quitting which would make me feel badly. (Realistically speaking the odds are low I'd get it but I'm still applying because it would be kickass). I'll be working full time while juggling 13 credit hours. I was kind of hoping for a little break so I could really focus on school.
Luckily, I won't start until after comp exam so I'll have a week off between the two jobs. I'm going to DC with my sister and her kid for a little long weekend which I've never been there. I'm feeling really positive about things, which is exciting because it has been a long time since I've really felt positive. (Positivity tweets notwithstanding.)
The Pros: in Fort Worth so I don't have to move from my current apartment. In an industry I've been hoping to break into. It is a job with income, hopefully comparable to what I earn now although I know the max is less than I currently earn. I can rehire the housekeeper. :) (although I won't until I actually get an offer and a salary).
The Cons: It isn't in a library. There's a fellowship I really want which would mean moving in July and quitting which would make me feel badly. (Realistically speaking the odds are low I'd get it but I'm still applying because it would be kickass). I'll be working full time while juggling 13 credit hours. I was kind of hoping for a little break so I could really focus on school.
Luckily, I won't start until after comp exam so I'll have a week off between the two jobs. I'm going to DC with my sister and her kid for a little long weekend which I've never been there. I'm feeling really positive about things, which is exciting because it has been a long time since I've really felt positive. (Positivity tweets notwithstanding.)
Monday, January 23, 2012
Journey into Unemployment
Today I gave notice at my job. I am super excited about leaving this job. As part of getting ready to be unemployed I contacted my housekeepers to tell them 2 things. 1. They haven't billed me for last housekeeper day. 2. I'm cancelling because I'm about to be unemployed. Well, they claim they haven't billed me for last housekeeper day because the housekeeper didn't come. Sadly that is incorrect since I had a newly made bed that I didn't make. Which I reported to them. She said she would investigate, but then said she may not look too hard since I'm about to be unemployed and all. That was super sweet!
My evil boss has agreed to not fight unemployment payments for me. This is kind of huge because it means I would at least have some money coming in. Sadly it would be a whopping $426 per week and I make more than that, but at least it would be some money. Interestingly I could survive on that and it would leave me almost $400/month for everything after bills. (Provided it is tax-free which I think it is).
I've actually got two job interviews lined up. One is with the same company I had a first interview last week. The other is a place I've been trying to phone screen with since last Monday. And here's where I now have a dilemma. What if I actually get one of these jobs? Do I take it? Even with the fuller than full time schooling? I feel like I would have to. I'm not sure if I can actually BE unemployed. I already don't talk to people on a regular basis (or ever really). If I am home all the time for unemployment... This could be bad for me. :) But what if I get that fellowship? Then I'd be quitting in July. I would feel badly if I left a job that I just started 3 months later. But what if I don't get the fellowship and can't find a library job. I suppose I'll just have to wait and see. That's about all I can do isn't it.
My evil boss has agreed to not fight unemployment payments for me. This is kind of huge because it means I would at least have some money coming in. Sadly it would be a whopping $426 per week and I make more than that, but at least it would be some money. Interestingly I could survive on that and it would leave me almost $400/month for everything after bills. (Provided it is tax-free which I think it is).
I've actually got two job interviews lined up. One is with the same company I had a first interview last week. The other is a place I've been trying to phone screen with since last Monday. And here's where I now have a dilemma. What if I actually get one of these jobs? Do I take it? Even with the fuller than full time schooling? I feel like I would have to. I'm not sure if I can actually BE unemployed. I already don't talk to people on a regular basis (or ever really). If I am home all the time for unemployment... This could be bad for me. :) But what if I get that fellowship? Then I'd be quitting in July. I would feel badly if I left a job that I just started 3 months later. But what if I don't get the fellowship and can't find a library job. I suppose I'll just have to wait and see. That's about all I can do isn't it.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Finances
I almost never talk about finances because I HATE finances. I hate thinking about money. I hate dealing with money and I've often said I'd be better off if I gave my money to someone else to dole out an allowance to me. I suck at money. BUT since I'm quitting on Monday I need to figure out where to cut expenses and how I'm going to live while I finish my degree and find a new job. Long term blog readers may know that it took me almost a year after moving to Seattle to find a new job I liked and that didn't make me want to drink heavily. I would rather not repeat that experience. So in an effort to figure out how to best handle my about to be new found unemployment, I took a look at what I spend my money on. After bills, I'm ashamed to admit I spend a shitton of money on food. I am embarrassed at how much I eat out. It is ridiculous. $180 in a month in eating out alone. That's $6 a day I'm throwing away. Even worse is what I spend in groceries. (Although it may be skewed slightly because I also get my gas at Kroger and my debit card doesn't show the difference but really I put in about 30 bucks every 2 weeks so mostly it isn't gas). I spent almost $600 in groceries last month. I'm one person. What the hell am I buying? And, I don't even know how much rotten food I throw out because I don't eat it. Clearly I can cut back a lot on both of those items. Oddly enough, I spend very little on other things. I spent about $100 on gluten free baked goods. That's a lot but it is also an anomaly. I don't think I usually buy that much in a typical month. And once I'm unemployed I won't buy that much at all.
Next I'm going to do something I know is a very bad idea. I will pay a penalty for it which is a waste of money. I'm going to cash out my retirement plan with the University and pay off my credit cards and my car so I'll have no debt during this period of un/under employment. I will then call my credit card co and not cancel the card altogether but reduce the max to a very minimal amount. My student loans won't start coming due until December/Jan and hopefully by then I'll have a real paying job in a library. And I'll get another job but it will be primarily mindless. Contract or temp work would be ideal. Something that will allow me to pay my bills and perhaps still eat.
Next I'm going to do something I know is a very bad idea. I will pay a penalty for it which is a waste of money. I'm going to cash out my retirement plan with the University and pay off my credit cards and my car so I'll have no debt during this period of un/under employment. I will then call my credit card co and not cancel the card altogether but reduce the max to a very minimal amount. My student loans won't start coming due until December/Jan and hopefully by then I'll have a real paying job in a library. And I'll get another job but it will be primarily mindless. Contract or temp work would be ideal. Something that will allow me to pay my bills and perhaps still eat.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Leap of Faith
For those that don't follow me on twitter or are friends with me on facebook, I'm about to embark on something insane. I've added one more class to my semester which puts me at 13 credits. And I'm going to quit my job. This way I can be done with my degree in May instead of waiting until August.
This all came up because of a fellowship a friend sent to me. I could qualify. Exemplary grades. An essay. A bunch of other things. BUT I have to have my MLIS by July 1. If I had stuck with my current plan I wouldn't have it in time. But in reality it makes sense. I'm on the fringe of being fired. I made a mistake. A huge one. My boss made a similar mistake but even huger, and I'm on the fringe of firing and she's not but whatever. This is my 2nd write up. I know she's planning on replacing me since I found the job listing "blind." So this makes sense because I need a new job before August. And I don't want to work in benefits anymore which is what I'd have to try to get a job in if I left before I got my degree.
The leap of faith comes in since I could end up unemployed. For a long time. This terrifies me. I was unemployed for almost a year after moving to Seattle. I still feel the financial impact of that. BUT it is the only answer. I can't keep up at this job. (Well obviously since I'm on the brink of firing). I'd rather quit than be fired so there you go.
I don't really believe in things happening for a reason or anything like that, but it seems like this whole change is the right thing. My friend tweeted me about the job posting today. I read it and fell in love with the posting and discovered I wouldn't finish in time. I emailed my advisor about when I would finish if I took my summer class and the test then to discover I was 42 days after the cut off. So then I emailed back and asked about adding one more class and capstone this semester (since I didn't know what the graduate credit limit was). The advisor called me right away because today was the deadline to add a class and pay for it. In a very short time she had me registered in a class and I paid and it is a done deal.
This all came up because of a fellowship a friend sent to me. I could qualify. Exemplary grades. An essay. A bunch of other things. BUT I have to have my MLIS by July 1. If I had stuck with my current plan I wouldn't have it in time. But in reality it makes sense. I'm on the fringe of being fired. I made a mistake. A huge one. My boss made a similar mistake but even huger, and I'm on the fringe of firing and she's not but whatever. This is my 2nd write up. I know she's planning on replacing me since I found the job listing "blind." So this makes sense because I need a new job before August. And I don't want to work in benefits anymore which is what I'd have to try to get a job in if I left before I got my degree.
The leap of faith comes in since I could end up unemployed. For a long time. This terrifies me. I was unemployed for almost a year after moving to Seattle. I still feel the financial impact of that. BUT it is the only answer. I can't keep up at this job. (Well obviously since I'm on the brink of firing). I'd rather quit than be fired so there you go.
I don't really believe in things happening for a reason or anything like that, but it seems like this whole change is the right thing. My friend tweeted me about the job posting today. I read it and fell in love with the posting and discovered I wouldn't finish in time. I emailed my advisor about when I would finish if I took my summer class and the test then to discover I was 42 days after the cut off. So then I emailed back and asked about adding one more class and capstone this semester (since I didn't know what the graduate credit limit was). The advisor called me right away because today was the deadline to add a class and pay for it. In a very short time she had me registered in a class and I paid and it is a done deal.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Online dating
So in an attempt to get something interesting or good or whatever in my life I've started online dating again. This is nerve wracking on a number of levels. I don't think I translate well online. I've been trying to be more proactive than I usually am. Usually I post a profile and wait to see if anyone expresses any interest in me. They don't. Or sometimes super weirdos in other states do but that's really worse. So this time I'm taking the initiative and contacting guys whose profiles I have thoroughly explored. I'm amazed at the number of guys who believe that both creationism and evolution should be taught in school. I try to console myself with maybe they believe that since we're in Texas creationism is taught in school so evolution should be too, but I'm pretty sure that's not the belief. That seems to be one of the lightning rod questions for me. I do like the fact that okcupid allows you to answer a lot of different types of questions (both publicly and privately) and use that to help match you up with someone. Although he's geographically less desirable, I've been texting with a guy who I am 99% compatible with according to their algorithms. I'll be meeting him on Friday night. We'll see.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Passion (less)
For the past several years I haven't felt excited about what I do. I'm not sure I've ever felt excited about what I do. I just happened to be good at it. Maybe I liked it for awhile. Hard to say at this point. I thought I liked it. But I do recall being uneasy about getting my CEBS certification because I feel like I would be pigeonholed by this job path. Luckily (or unluckily as the case may be), I hate what I do now so much I no longer want to do it ever again. Sadly I'm in kind of a weird place. I'm not done with my MLIS degree so getting a real library job isn't going to happen quite yet, but I have to get out of my current one. I tried to quit last week. Evil boss talked me out of it. Turns out evil boss has been looking for my replacement since January 4th (week before I "quit"). So really she just doesn't want me to quit until she has the new me in place and then she can fire my ass like she has wanted to for sometime. I have a phone and an inperson interview this week. Hopefully one of those will pan out so I can get the hell out of dodge.
I've started doing my practicum for my library school. So far I've only been there for 4 days. I'm not thrilled that it is Sat & Sun from 1 - 5 PM because that means I have no days off. BUT until classes start so far it isn't totally killing me (yet). Last weekend I mostly observed the desk but I did get to answer a few questions. I liked (for now maybe that'll change) helping kids find the books and materials they were looking for. This weekend I spent the weekend searching through the catalog to see if the books in these magazines that had positive reviews were purchased for the library. So far, not so much on the non-fiction.
I've never really felt like a person who believes you have to LOVE what you do or follow your bliss or whatever. Work is work. It would be nice if it isn't so awful you cry all the time and/or want to drink heavily, but I'm okay if I can find something to like about what I do and who I work with.
I've started doing my practicum for my library school. So far I've only been there for 4 days. I'm not thrilled that it is Sat & Sun from 1 - 5 PM because that means I have no days off. BUT until classes start so far it isn't totally killing me (yet). Last weekend I mostly observed the desk but I did get to answer a few questions. I liked (for now maybe that'll change) helping kids find the books and materials they were looking for. This weekend I spent the weekend searching through the catalog to see if the books in these magazines that had positive reviews were purchased for the library. So far, not so much on the non-fiction.
I've never really felt like a person who believes you have to LOVE what you do or follow your bliss or whatever. Work is work. It would be nice if it isn't so awful you cry all the time and/or want to drink heavily, but I'm okay if I can find something to like about what I do and who I work with.
Saturday, January 07, 2012
Ch Ch Ch Changes
It looks like the Peeved family will not be moving to Texas. Michelle & I talked about it the other day. Peeved husband LOVES his new job and his new office and his coworkers and has been pushing to stay in CA. They also have lots and lots of family there to help with the kiddos when necessary. Strangely, I'm not at all sad about it. Mostly because I think this experiment in cheap, friendly, Republican living isn't really working for me. I know the job thing is a HUGE part of the issue. If I were happier in my work I might be happier here. But there are some fundamental flaws with Texas. Things like I HATE WIND. They may not have written a song about the winds sweeping down Texas' plain, but it does. I don't love 100+ degree weather. It may be a "dry" heat but it is still fucking hot and like the wilting flower I am I regularly suffer.
So what does this mean? I don't know. I'm going to start applying for jobs in CA and maybe a few other states. I have to finish my practicum here in TX. (Well I don't HAVE to, but I would imagine it would be hard to change practicum mid-stream.) I should be done with it on tax day, which is actually sooner than I originally thought. Everything else I have to do can be done online. I can't figure out if I should just slog through the hell job for another 3 - 4 months so I can finally apply for library jobs since I'll be essentially done by May/June or find another benefits job for awhile. If I move to CA, it will have to be another benefits job. As it is, I almost cried when I looked at the rents there. Who knows what is coming, but I'm keeping my mind open to it.
So what does this mean? I don't know. I'm going to start applying for jobs in CA and maybe a few other states. I have to finish my practicum here in TX. (Well I don't HAVE to, but I would imagine it would be hard to change practicum mid-stream.) I should be done with it on tax day, which is actually sooner than I originally thought. Everything else I have to do can be done online. I can't figure out if I should just slog through the hell job for another 3 - 4 months so I can finally apply for library jobs since I'll be essentially done by May/June or find another benefits job for awhile. If I move to CA, it will have to be another benefits job. As it is, I almost cried when I looked at the rents there. Who knows what is coming, but I'm keeping my mind open to it.
Sunday, January 01, 2012
God doesn't want me to have a good New Year's Eve
I went camping this New Year's Eve. I had this whole romantical idea that I would ring in the new year under the stars. That sort of worked out and sort of didn't. I did enjoy eating my dinner by the lantern and then sitting by the campfire. That part was awesome. And I had left my tent open, not put on the rain fly because I could see the stars. You can see a lot of stars in Texas. Then... the wind started to blow. And blow. AND BLOW. I don't like wind. It creeps me out. I don't like the noise. I don't like the feeling of it. I don't like wind. (I know I am now living in a plains state, what the hell was I thinking?). So I ended up going to bed early. That was fine. At midnight there was a loud ruckus so I at least woke up to ring in the new year. But then I had to get up and put the rainfly on the tent because I was also FREEZING. Got home around lunch time today and proceeded to take a 5 hour nap. I will post photos later. I toook a bunch! It was super pretty there.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Puppy
Today while I was driving from the grocery store, I saw a big rottweiler running in the road. I would have chased after it to at least get it out of the road, but I was in the 2nd left turn lane and in no real position to stop. I looked for it, but couldn't find it again. It totally reminded me of a dog we had when I was a little girl. The dog was funny looking. She was part dachshund and part poodle. So she was low to the ground but had this crazy fur that mostly matted. She had been my sister's dog but like most of my sister's pets, she'd abandon them to us and they would become a family pet. So Mouse used to get out and we'd never notice it. We have no idea where she'd go, maybe just around the block but we'd randomly hear scratching at the front door and she was back. I used to joke that since we never walked her she started walking herself. I thought about her seeing that dog running in the road and wondered if when people would see Mouse "walking herself" would they worry about her being loose and try to catch her to bring her back.
Epiphany
Six years ago, my mother and I had a screaming match in the front yard of their house. The gist of it was that I was no longer going to tolerate her irrational anger. I grew up walking on eggshells not knowing if she was going to get pissed off at something or not, not knowing what kind of mood she was going to be in. While I spent most of today agonizing over the wrath of my boss come Tuesday over something I had payroll do I realized something... If I'm not willing to put up with it in my mother why in the hell am I putting up with it in my boss? That's one of my biggest issues with her. She gets irrationally angry about stupid stuff. I am not putting up with it anymore. I may end up quitting before I have a new job lined up, but I can't do it anymore. Worse comes to worst, I pull my 401K out. That's really bad, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I can be a 90 year old librarian. :)
My second epiphany of today was what my boss was irrationally angry about. I asked payroll to do a refund of benefits for someone today. She flipped out because of the tax implications since the refund will count as part of the first payroll of 2012 and the deduction was taken out in 2011. "As the benefits manager I should think of these things..." After I thought about it more I realized if the PAYROLL manager didn't care why the hell was she freaking out? Since the PAYROLL manager has no issue, she's got no place to be pissed off.
Before I quit in a fit of wrath, I may try to talk to the new CEO. The CFO couldn't rein her in maybe the new CEO can. My entire department hates her. The payroll manager is on the verge of quitting due to her. Before I started at least 3 other people quit due to her. And let's not forget the African American woman she fired. After only giving her less than 1 week to improve on her "improvement plan."
My second epiphany of today was what my boss was irrationally angry about. I asked payroll to do a refund of benefits for someone today. She flipped out because of the tax implications since the refund will count as part of the first payroll of 2012 and the deduction was taken out in 2011. "As the benefits manager I should think of these things..." After I thought about it more I realized if the PAYROLL manager didn't care why the hell was she freaking out? Since the PAYROLL manager has no issue, she's got no place to be pissed off.
Before I quit in a fit of wrath, I may try to talk to the new CEO. The CFO couldn't rein her in maybe the new CEO can. My entire department hates her. The payroll manager is on the verge of quitting due to her. Before I started at least 3 other people quit due to her. And let's not forget the African American woman she fired. After only giving her less than 1 week to improve on her "improvement plan."
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Goals for 2012
Anyone who has read this before knows I don't make resolutions. I make goals. Things I'd like to do better at.
Meal Planning. I make this goal periodically. Usually after I realize how much take out I'm eating. I eat a lot of take out. Too much take out. I'm pretty good about setting up food for the week for lunches but somehow not dinners.
Keep my 4.0 GPA in grad school. With under grad I never had a chance. Well maybe I had a chance, but since I took Speech the first semester of my first year I never really had a chance. Somehow now, though, I've got one. Three semesters in and I have a 4.0. I have 3 classes in the spring and one in the summer. I know in reality it doesn't mean anything really, but now that I'm almost there I want it.
I would add find a new job but that was a goal for 2011 and didn't pan out. That's kind of always an ongoing goal. Without babbling too much about something that hasn't changed, I hate my job. I want a new job. Maybe once I have my MLIS I can get the new job easier. I hope. The thought of being at the current job for another year makes me want to cry. A LOT. Although there is a glimmer of hope (which keeps getting pushed back) in that we're merging with another company. I keep hoping evil boss will be let go to keep the hr person from the new company.
Meal Planning. I make this goal periodically. Usually after I realize how much take out I'm eating. I eat a lot of take out. Too much take out. I'm pretty good about setting up food for the week for lunches but somehow not dinners.
Keep my 4.0 GPA in grad school. With under grad I never had a chance. Well maybe I had a chance, but since I took Speech the first semester of my first year I never really had a chance. Somehow now, though, I've got one. Three semesters in and I have a 4.0. I have 3 classes in the spring and one in the summer. I know in reality it doesn't mean anything really, but now that I'm almost there I want it.
I would add find a new job but that was a goal for 2011 and didn't pan out. That's kind of always an ongoing goal. Without babbling too much about something that hasn't changed, I hate my job. I want a new job. Maybe once I have my MLIS I can get the new job easier. I hope. The thought of being at the current job for another year makes me want to cry. A LOT. Although there is a glimmer of hope (which keeps getting pushed back) in that we're merging with another company. I keep hoping evil boss will be let go to keep the hr person from the new company.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Better living through chemistry
I started back on anti-depressants just over a week ago. I knew the signs long before I started back on them. I didn't want to do anything. I felt so anxious. In reality I probably should never have went off them. I ended up off them over a year ago because I forgot to take them for about a week and realized I felt fine. And I did. And I had been feeling pretty good for awhile. But as these things go I've been frustrated with my job and my life. I felt anxious all the time (due to my job). And even though I've been job hunting (for over a year wahoo) to find a new job, nothing has come about. So I'm back on the Prozac (generic) train. This morning you wouldn't have known I was on them. I was so anxious. I drove the whole way to work just imagining gloom and doom. I was positive today was going to be a really crappy day. Luckily I was totally wrong and it was fine. By this evening I was actually feeling a little more light hearted (of course that could partially be because today is Friday and I don't have to go back to that hell until Monday). I know they take a little time to work. I can tell they've been doing something because I have had the most intense hot flashes. Christ if this is what menopause is going to be like I refuse to do it. Luckily those have calmed down now.
I used to be really good at counting my blessings. Well I never called it that, but that's the gist of it. Thinking positively and considering all the good things that are going on in my life. I know I'll be able to do it again and I know I'll get back to volunteering again. And I'm glad to be in grad school, even though I'm terrified I won't be able to make a decent enough living at being a librarian. (Although I'm now considering looking into being a corporate librarian. I think that would be interesting for awhile.) I know I'm on the path to good things. It is just hard to see that sometimes.
I used to be really good at counting my blessings. Well I never called it that, but that's the gist of it. Thinking positively and considering all the good things that are going on in my life. I know I'll be able to do it again and I know I'll get back to volunteering again. And I'm glad to be in grad school, even though I'm terrified I won't be able to make a decent enough living at being a librarian. (Although I'm now considering looking into being a corporate librarian. I think that would be interesting for awhile.) I know I'm on the path to good things. It is just hard to see that sometimes.
Friday, October 07, 2011
Why I'm Over the Pink
According to Cancer.gov, the most common cancer is prostate cancer. Did anyone know that? They estimate that there will be 221,130 new cases of lung cancer and 156,940 estimated deaths from lung cancer. Yes breast cancer is the 2nd most frequent cancer around. (More estimated new cases than lung), but only an estimated 39000 people will die from it. I won't say that breast cancer isn't significant, obviously it is. But with cancers that are a guaranteed death sentence, maybe we should start funneling some of that pink money along to other cancers.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
New TV!
I think it is no secret that I love television. I grew up on it. I get super excited when September rolls around and new shows are announced and favorites come back. Last week was the pinnacle of the new season. (Is that right? I think I'm using that correctly). Many things I love are back and some new things I'm still on the fence about have started and one thing I'm totally in love with (so much so that I watched the premiere twice in the same week when usually I don't rewatch a show that quickly).
Returning:
Parks & Recreation. I don't know if I've posted here about my love of this show. I love the character of Leslie Knope. I want to BE Leslie Knope. I don't know that I have ever felt as passionate and inspired and excited about my job as she is. She's fearless in her pursuit of greatness for her Parks Department and I just find her so amazing. I also wish I could be as positive as she is and as able to compliment people the way she does. She is probably my favorite character on TV right now and I will be super sad when the show gets cancelled. (At some point way way way in the future).
Sons of Anarchy: It seems odd that I like this show. It seems like a show I wouldn't like. But I weirdly love it. It's violent. It's brutal. It does feature some very attractive eye candy so that helps with the brutality part. This season they're getting in deep with some even worse dudes than usual so it could be interesting. Last season I kept watching because they were in "Ireland" and the accents alone kept me going.
Raising Hope: Another show I love. The family is so caring of each other and funny. And they're trying so hard to do things right for the baby that was thrust upon them. They really care about each other and I think that isn't always the feeling you get with television shows. Plus they've got the cutest baby on television bar none.
New Shows
The New Girl: Michelle liked this show. I'm on the fence. I liked the boys on the show but find Zooey whateverherlastnameis to be too much. It was like she was trying too hard. But it is on between Glee and Raising Hope and I watch both of those so I'll end up watching it until it gets cancelled.
Two Broke Girls: Freaking hysterical. I thought it was sharp and well written. It may have been a little over the top in terms of innuendo, but that's okay. I do find that I'm completely distracted by Max's boobs in her uniform. They're massive.
Revenge: By far the best show I've seen in a long time. It was so well thought out. I am sucked in and completely excited to watch next week! Emily Van Camp has such a girl next door vibe (probably due to Everwood) that you can't believe she's plotting against these Hamptonites. It is delicious and I don't use that word lightly. I hope it goes on for a long time, BUT has an end in place so it doesn't drag on forever and ever. I've already watched the pilot twice.
Returning:
Parks & Recreation. I don't know if I've posted here about my love of this show. I love the character of Leslie Knope. I want to BE Leslie Knope. I don't know that I have ever felt as passionate and inspired and excited about my job as she is. She's fearless in her pursuit of greatness for her Parks Department and I just find her so amazing. I also wish I could be as positive as she is and as able to compliment people the way she does. She is probably my favorite character on TV right now and I will be super sad when the show gets cancelled. (At some point way way way in the future).
Sons of Anarchy: It seems odd that I like this show. It seems like a show I wouldn't like. But I weirdly love it. It's violent. It's brutal. It does feature some very attractive eye candy so that helps with the brutality part. This season they're getting in deep with some even worse dudes than usual so it could be interesting. Last season I kept watching because they were in "Ireland" and the accents alone kept me going.
Raising Hope: Another show I love. The family is so caring of each other and funny. And they're trying so hard to do things right for the baby that was thrust upon them. They really care about each other and I think that isn't always the feeling you get with television shows. Plus they've got the cutest baby on television bar none.
New Shows
The New Girl: Michelle liked this show. I'm on the fence. I liked the boys on the show but find Zooey whateverherlastnameis to be too much. It was like she was trying too hard. But it is on between Glee and Raising Hope and I watch both of those so I'll end up watching it until it gets cancelled.
Two Broke Girls: Freaking hysterical. I thought it was sharp and well written. It may have been a little over the top in terms of innuendo, but that's okay. I do find that I'm completely distracted by Max's boobs in her uniform. They're massive.
Revenge: By far the best show I've seen in a long time. It was so well thought out. I am sucked in and completely excited to watch next week! Emily Van Camp has such a girl next door vibe (probably due to Everwood) that you can't believe she's plotting against these Hamptonites. It is delicious and I don't use that word lightly. I hope it goes on for a long time, BUT has an end in place so it doesn't drag on forever and ever. I've already watched the pilot twice.
Friday, September 02, 2011
Alone vs Not Alone
Since I live alone and hang out by myself a lot, I have a weird set of rules about what I feel is acceptable for me to do alone versus what says pathetic to me. I was thinking about that as I was driving home today. I thought about going to Oklahoma to go to a casino over the weekend. (Although in general I find going to casinos to be an odd activity unless I'm actually in Vegas or Atlantic City), but I feel like that's an activity that is pathetic to do alone. So here are the rules of going places alone as defined by me:
Eating out - Fine depending on the quality of the restaurant. Dennys - no problem. Ruths Chris steak house or fancier - weird.
Movies - Fine alone
Theater - Depends. Musicals are okay but like the symphony no. (No logic there).
Drinking in a bar - Not so much alone. I think that's sad.
Attend a sporting event - iffy. I think they're more fun when you're there with other people. But I've done it alone and it wasn't a big deal.
Going to a casino - Since I already think going to the Indian casinos are a little bit sad, I think going alone is super sad.
Eating out - Fine depending on the quality of the restaurant. Dennys - no problem. Ruths Chris steak house or fancier - weird.
Movies - Fine alone
Theater - Depends. Musicals are okay but like the symphony no. (No logic there).
Drinking in a bar - Not so much alone. I think that's sad.
Attend a sporting event - iffy. I think they're more fun when you're there with other people. But I've done it alone and it wasn't a big deal.
Going to a casino - Since I already think going to the Indian casinos are a little bit sad, I think going alone is super sad.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
A Regular Employee
As I was driving home from picking up my latest textbooks from UNT I realized that with my next career I'm just going to be a regular employee. No more will I have the inside information I'm usually privvy to in my role in HR. It's an interesting concept. Of my 15 years working since I left college, 12 of them have been in Human Resources. My next job will likely be the last one before I give up HR altogether and become a librarian. When you work in HR, you know things. Always. I interact with all levels of the company and since I do benefits and leaves of absence I KNOW things. What I currently do impacts the company and the employees as a whole. When I'm a regular employee I won't have that anymore. And in all honesty, I'm looking forward to that.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
BlogHer - The good, the bad and the hmm...
I've been to BlogHer twice as an attendee and once as just a groupie hanging out and trying to crash parties. (I'd never been to Chicago, BlogHer provided me a way to hang out with my pals and visit ChiTown).
This year BlogHer was in San Diego. Since it has been over 100 degrees here forevfuckingever that was the nicest thing possible. When I landed in San Diego and stepped out at the airport I felt a wave of nostalgia. The air smelled like the ocean. (Not that Camarillo smelled like the ocean but it was very close to the ocean). It made me miss California. And Seattle. And anyplace that isn't Texas, but that's another story.
I really liked hanging out with Michelle, Katey, Laura, Amy, Leslie and Karla. It is good to hang out with people, some of whom I know and some of whom were new to me. I really liked the food they served. I was thrilled with clearly labelled gluten-free options. It was AWESOME. I liked the swag. It is not hard to like swag. :) I liked the parties. I like parties. I liked the session I attended. Sadly I only attended one.
There wasn't anything really bad about the trip. I feel like the hotel is kind of pricey and since they didn't do room drops this year, I would have been okay going to a cheaper hotel. (Michelle probably wouldn't have been though). I didn't like how spread out things were which required what felt like a long walk. I wish there had been more sessions I was interested in, but I know they can't please everyone. The ONE session I was interested in, I didn't make it to because I had to finish homework for my class. (which I got a 12.5 out of 12.5 on by the way).
The Hmm... The real hmm is do I go back? Next year it is New York City again. I feel like NYC was much more expensive than Chicago and San Diego. I don't think the hotel was only $199/night. And I'm just not sure. I'm not sure what I get out of it besides free stuff (which if you add up hotel, airfare etc isn't actually free per se) and hanging out with my friends. Now, it'll cost to have a girls weekend anyway and with BlogHer at least I get breakfast and lunch paid for as part of my ticket. :) (as well as parties and drinking in the evening). So far in two years I think I've attended MAYBE 3 sessions (I think only 2 actually and one Michelle was on the panel and the other I just went with Michelle). I know if I don't go, I'll feel left out since many of the girls are going again next year. And I can go and hang with Katey who doesn't go to the sessions either. We could do touristy things. (if she goes I think she's on the fence too). I dunno. I can't think that far ahead.
This year BlogHer was in San Diego. Since it has been over 100 degrees here forevfuckingever that was the nicest thing possible. When I landed in San Diego and stepped out at the airport I felt a wave of nostalgia. The air smelled like the ocean. (Not that Camarillo smelled like the ocean but it was very close to the ocean). It made me miss California. And Seattle. And anyplace that isn't Texas, but that's another story.
I really liked hanging out with Michelle, Katey, Laura, Amy, Leslie and Karla. It is good to hang out with people, some of whom I know and some of whom were new to me. I really liked the food they served. I was thrilled with clearly labelled gluten-free options. It was AWESOME. I liked the swag. It is not hard to like swag. :) I liked the parties. I like parties. I liked the session I attended. Sadly I only attended one.
There wasn't anything really bad about the trip. I feel like the hotel is kind of pricey and since they didn't do room drops this year, I would have been okay going to a cheaper hotel. (Michelle probably wouldn't have been though). I didn't like how spread out things were which required what felt like a long walk. I wish there had been more sessions I was interested in, but I know they can't please everyone. The ONE session I was interested in, I didn't make it to because I had to finish homework for my class. (which I got a 12.5 out of 12.5 on by the way).
The Hmm... The real hmm is do I go back? Next year it is New York City again. I feel like NYC was much more expensive than Chicago and San Diego. I don't think the hotel was only $199/night. And I'm just not sure. I'm not sure what I get out of it besides free stuff (which if you add up hotel, airfare etc isn't actually free per se) and hanging out with my friends. Now, it'll cost to have a girls weekend anyway and with BlogHer at least I get breakfast and lunch paid for as part of my ticket. :) (as well as parties and drinking in the evening). So far in two years I think I've attended MAYBE 3 sessions (I think only 2 actually and one Michelle was on the panel and the other I just went with Michelle). I know if I don't go, I'll feel left out since many of the girls are going again next year. And I can go and hang with Katey who doesn't go to the sessions either. We could do touristy things. (if she goes I think she's on the fence too). I dunno. I can't think that far ahead.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Moralistic Stance
One of my few moralistic stances relates to cheating. I have no issue with couples who want to be in an open relationship or poly (and no interest in that myself), but if only one person is in an open relationship while the other doesn't know anything about it, that's cheating. (Obviously).
While watching The Piano for class tonight I realized it is the selfishness I have a horrible time with. I know, somehow, we were supposed to feel for Holly Hunter's character. In fact, the reason I was watching had to do with the Blackbeard Folk story and the husband represents Blackbeard, but the whole time I was watching the movie I thought about how awful she was to him. I'm not saying she deserved to have her finger cut off by an axe, that was horrific. But seriously, he didn't seem like a bad guy. The husband didn't do anything wrong (well, you know until he snaps and cuts her finger off with an axe, but PRIOR to that). I couldn't feel any empathy for her. I couldn't feel any empathy for Diane Lane in Unfaithful. I could never feel any empathy for Carrie when she cheated on Aiden. I couldn't feel any empathy for the gay cowboys even. This is also the reason I've never read (nor watched) bridges of Madison County or the Horse Whisperer. I started the Horse Whisperer thinking it was a story about rebuilding the horse and child's life and got annoyed... skipped to the end and put the book down never to read it again.
While watching The Piano for class tonight I realized it is the selfishness I have a horrible time with. I know, somehow, we were supposed to feel for Holly Hunter's character. In fact, the reason I was watching had to do with the Blackbeard Folk story and the husband represents Blackbeard, but the whole time I was watching the movie I thought about how awful she was to him. I'm not saying she deserved to have her finger cut off by an axe, that was horrific. But seriously, he didn't seem like a bad guy. The husband didn't do anything wrong (well, you know until he snaps and cuts her finger off with an axe, but PRIOR to that). I couldn't feel any empathy for her. I couldn't feel any empathy for Diane Lane in Unfaithful. I could never feel any empathy for Carrie when she cheated on Aiden. I couldn't feel any empathy for the gay cowboys even. This is also the reason I've never read (nor watched) bridges of Madison County or the Horse Whisperer. I started the Horse Whisperer thinking it was a story about rebuilding the horse and child's life and got annoyed... skipped to the end and put the book down never to read it again.
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
Validation
One of the things I've frequently said about illegal immigration is that as a lunatic flaming liberal the way I am, amnesty is not the right answer for illegal immigrants. It still supports the corrupt system that brings the people here illegally and puts their lives in danger. I believe we have to support Mexico (and other Latin American countries) in improving their infrastructure and their education so that the people aren't forced to leave out of desperation. I don't believe that for the most part the illegals who come into this country do so lightly. They abandon their homes and everything they know and pay coyotes lots of money to usually work slave wages and live in fear that they will be sent back to Mexico. If there were options for them in Mexico they wouldn't come. Today I saw a New York Times article that agrees with me! The "waves" of illegal immigrants is actually on the decline and Mexico (and the citizens quoted in the article) credit this partially to the improvement of their lives and opportunities in Mexico. Usually I don't link to articles because the link will eventually die and I hate dead links but here's the article. Two quotes from the article:
Antonio said the risks hit home when his nephew Alejandro disappeared in the Sonoran Desert around 2002. A father of one and with a pregnant wife, Alejandro had been promised work by a friend. It took years for the authorities to find his body in the arid brush south of Tucson. Even now, no one knows how he died.
“They’re identifying more with Mexico,” said AgustÃn MartÃnez González, a teacher. “With more education, they’re more likely to accept reality here and try to make it better.”
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
Trying Out New Things
I bought new deodorant this weekend - a whole new brand. I've used Degree for like 10+ years, but somehow it seems like it is leaving a film that is really hard to wash off when I shower. I'm trying to find one that doesn't leave that film. (I only use antiperspirant/deodorant which I know is different than deodorant only, but I don't like the wet feeling if I don't use antiperspirant). I bought Dove and Lady Speed Stick. I'm hoping one of these two works out. Otherwise I don't know what else to get. I have a weird aversion to Secret. And I don't buy Suave anything.
The other thing I bought this weekend is something that I LOVE, which means It is either discontinued or about to be discontinued. I found ziploc freezer bags that have a little way for me to suck the air out of them so they are totally sealed (looking at Ziploc's website I see that they are called vacuum bags). I do not know why I have such a terrible time with freezer burn (Ok. It is because I buy meat on sale and in large quantities and as a single person I just don't eat that much and I tend to not be so good about getting all the air out of the bag apparently), but I get a lot of freezer burn and I hate it. So far these seem to work awesomely. I'm tempted to remove from the freezer all the other meat that is in regular bags and re seal them in these vacuum bags.
The other thing I bought this weekend is something that I LOVE, which means It is either discontinued or about to be discontinued. I found ziploc freezer bags that have a little way for me to suck the air out of them so they are totally sealed (looking at Ziploc's website I see that they are called vacuum bags). I do not know why I have such a terrible time with freezer burn (Ok. It is because I buy meat on sale and in large quantities and as a single person I just don't eat that much and I tend to not be so good about getting all the air out of the bag apparently), but I get a lot of freezer burn and I hate it. So far these seem to work awesomely. I'm tempted to remove from the freezer all the other meat that is in regular bags and re seal them in these vacuum bags.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Make it work
I interviewed for yet another job on Thursday. I don't have a good feeling from the manager that I'm going to get offered it. Just a feeling. So I'm going to stop looking for awhile. If you count from when I was in Seattle I've been job hunting for over 2 years now. Admittedly there've been a few breaks in time then, but I've been applying and interviewing for a long time. I'm just sick of it. I'm sick of the searching and the process. I'm sick of lying to take off time to interview. Now I just need to figure out how to tolerate my current situation. The tension lately is palpable. Boss was doing better and less of a bitch for a little while, but is back to full bore bitch. It is exhausting. I am documenting everything though. Anytime she is, what I consider, out of line I write it down. Maybe that'll help us in the future. I don't even know. The other thing that scares me is the thought of getting this library degree and then never being able to use it since the salary will be so much lower than I currently earn.
Screwed Up Pets
I took Sam to a new vet this morning. The old vet has not been able to figure out what was wrong with Sam's ears and we've been treating him with diet for 3 months now with no change. So I figured I'd get a 2nd opinion. She confirmed that Sam is sixish and not the 18 months I was quoted nor the 3 years I just noticed today that's on his vaccination certificate. Poor boy with the mysterious life. Anyway, I like this cat. He's fine as a pet. (ish he is a biter). BUT I'm not thrilled with the prospect of him being on this fancy hypoallergenic food until he dies. That shit is $50 a bag! And it makes me wonder how it is I get the screwed up pets. What is it about me that says "sucker!" (I don't know that I want that answered because I have that same question about me and supershitty bosses.)
In the course of my pets as an adult (4 ferrets 1 cat) ALL 4 ferrets required adrenal shots because they got adrenal disease. This was somewhere between a $35 - $40 shot/month. Not counting the cost to get the flexcar since I was in Seattle with no car. Sam requires fancy cat food. Honestly I just want one healthy not crazy pet.
In the course of my pets as an adult (4 ferrets 1 cat) ALL 4 ferrets required adrenal shots because they got adrenal disease. This was somewhere between a $35 - $40 shot/month. Not counting the cost to get the flexcar since I was in Seattle with no car. Sam requires fancy cat food. Honestly I just want one healthy not crazy pet.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Shoes
Again I find myself needing new shoes. The problem I have is threefold. 1. I have fat feet and value comfort over cute, which means I usually buy relatively bland shoes. 2. I have a large heel spur on my right heel. Which impacts size of shoes and ability of shoes like slingbacks since they don't stay up on the back of my foot. 3. I'm cheap about the wrong things. I am ok with paying more for some shoes, but if I figure I won't wear them often or more than a year I don't see the point in paying a lot for them. I seem to have missed out on the shoe shopping gene.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
2nd Semester - A whole lot shorter!
I'm now in my 2nd semester of library school. This semester I took three more classes but the way summer sessions work I'm actually only taking 2 classes at a time. I have 1 class that takes 10 weeks and then 2 classes that are 5 weeks each - back to back. However, the weirdness is that one of my classes is actually for only 3 weeks, so I'll be done with my comic book class by Sunday night at midnight. The nice part about my story telling class (10 weeks) is that apparently summer means "no bigass research project." Wahoo. I do have to do 3 story performances - one of which is already done. For performance #2 I have to do 1 story and performance #3 I have to do 2 stories that are somehow connected and one is only 2 minutes and the other is like 4 or 5 minutes I think. My 3rd class is a public libraries class. It will definitely not be as fun or creative as my other two classes this semester. I'm finding my comic book and graphic novels class to be interesting. Definitely glad I took it. It has opened my eyes to some books I might not otherwise have read. In the fall I'll be taking a youth literature class that should be great as well.
Friday, June 03, 2011
Because I'm pissy
I'm going to slam on Netflix and search engines. (And maybe blogger for continuing to add a random space at the top of this post even though I keep deleting it!)
So I have netflix and one of the reasons I wanted an xbox was so that I could watch movies instantly through netflix. This would be fine and dandy (and to be fair I've watched a lot of tv shows via netflix which I enjoy) except the movies that are released don't get to "watch instantly status for fucking ever. Black Swan, released in March - not on Watch Instantly. Love and Other Drugs - released March 1, not on Watch Instantly yet. Takers - released in January is being advertised as a "new Arrival." (I have no interest in Takers, I'm making a point) Are you freaking kidding me? I can walk up to Redbox and get I am Number 4 (which i want to see) and get it tonight (except that means putting on clothes and driving to the store see how lazy trumps self righteous indignation). AND they've changed their policy so that I can't even click on get the disk (to get it mailed to me) because they're trying to force us to use the "watch instantly" feature. I would if they had what I wanted to watch dammit!
Unrelated to Netflix, when I play my exercise game on xbox it just shows me as my shape but in red (heat sensor actually) and it cracked me up when the cat walked around my legs, as he is wont to do when I don't want him there, and the scanner picked up his shape.
What else was I going to be pissy about... oh I typed in www.blogger.com into my toolbar. This is a legitimate site that I've used a number of times (obviously) and yet somehow yahoo search decided I did something wrong and it came up as a search result. That also annoyed me.
Oh back on netflix... I hate how 99% of their "New arrivals: Movies" are not new arrivals at all. Well MAYBE they are movies that are newly released (and obviously not NEWLY released since one of their "new arrivals" is from January) on DVD. I want a list of real new releases not stupid shit like white chicks and dane cook and a bunch of movies nobody has ever heard of. This forces me to go to another website to see if I can actually find a list of new releases (strangely difficult actually thanks to televisionwithoutpity I can actually find a list because each week they do a blog about what's new on DVD) and then search for whatever movie I want to see. They're just pissing me off tonight.
So I have netflix and one of the reasons I wanted an xbox was so that I could watch movies instantly through netflix. This would be fine and dandy (and to be fair I've watched a lot of tv shows via netflix which I enjoy) except the movies that are released don't get to "watch instantly status for fucking ever. Black Swan, released in March - not on Watch Instantly. Love and Other Drugs - released March 1, not on Watch Instantly yet. Takers - released in January is being advertised as a "new Arrival." (I have no interest in Takers, I'm making a point) Are you freaking kidding me? I can walk up to Redbox and get I am Number 4 (which i want to see) and get it tonight (except that means putting on clothes and driving to the store see how lazy trumps self righteous indignation). AND they've changed their policy so that I can't even click on get the disk (to get it mailed to me) because they're trying to force us to use the "watch instantly" feature. I would if they had what I wanted to watch dammit!
Unrelated to Netflix, when I play my exercise game on xbox it just shows me as my shape but in red (heat sensor actually) and it cracked me up when the cat walked around my legs, as he is wont to do when I don't want him there, and the scanner picked up his shape.
What else was I going to be pissy about... oh I typed in www.blogger.com into my toolbar. This is a legitimate site that I've used a number of times (obviously) and yet somehow yahoo search decided I did something wrong and it came up as a search result. That also annoyed me.
Oh back on netflix... I hate how 99% of their "New arrivals: Movies" are not new arrivals at all. Well MAYBE they are movies that are newly released (and obviously not NEWLY released since one of their "new arrivals" is from January) on DVD. I want a list of real new releases not stupid shit like white chicks and dane cook and a bunch of movies nobody has ever heard of. This forces me to go to another website to see if I can actually find a list of new releases (strangely difficult actually thanks to televisionwithoutpity I can actually find a list because each week they do a blog about what's new on DVD) and then search for whatever movie I want to see. They're just pissing me off tonight.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Introvert is not a 4 letter word
I got turned down for a job today. One that I think I actually wanted. It had a lot of potential to be interesting and different than what I do since it had generalist roles incorporated into the benefits roles. The few people I met seemed super nice. The company is in the process of "turning HR around" from being unapproachable and mean to open and fun. They said all the right things and I thought, well I didn't necessarily think I said all the right things but one of my interview failings is that I don't try to hide who I really am. I answer the questions asked essentially the same way I would answer them if Michelle were asking me the question. Well according to the recruiter I was working with I knocked it out of the park. I reassured her on the 401(k) stuff. I answered everything right... until. When asked the question "how do you unwind or destress" I said something to the effect of "I go home and veg out mostly. Working in HR you have to be "on" all the time and since I'm essentially an introvert I like to spend my after work time relaxing and being quiet." Something like that. Apparently they don't want an "introvert." Keep in mind, I've charmed 4 people in the interview until this point so clearly I have social skills and the ability to talk to people. I even mentioned that working in HR for the past 11 years, I know what it takes but during my down time I like it to be just me. I'd feel sad about the loss of this job since I think I did want it, but I find myself so annoyed by this "no introverts" attitude that I'm fine with it. I am seriously sick of job hunting though. I may have to take a little break.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Only in Texas
I went on a job interview on Friday and I desperately wanted to take a picture of the bookshelf of one of the men I interviewed with. On his bookshelf were The Holy Bible, History of God and a book about (or by) George Bush (but I can't recall if it was sr or junior). It totally made me laugh inside. The job is different than what I do now. It would be what I do but also generalist role including employee relations which I'm not that excited about but this would open up my skills and career. (which I know I'm totally changing careers but until a library job opens up that I can find I can still work in HR.) It is a very small company which would be interesting. However several people used the phrase "work hard/play hard" which I find cliched and annoying.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
I should check mail more often
Tuesday I finally checked my mail. I usually don't check it often because it is far to the mailboxes and there's nothing I want anyway, usually trash. But the bag for the letter carrier's food drive was in my box and you may or may not remember that I love to volunteer for and contribute to the letter carrier's food drive. So I went back to my apartment and found a bunch of canned food and put it in a bag by the door. And then I sat on the sofa. And then I went to work the next day and while I was at work I thought some more and when I got home I checked the date on the little flyer. The letter carrier's food drive was LAST weekend. Oops.
Friday, May 13, 2011
F is for Fun
And that is my goal for the weekend. I have spent almost every weekend since January working on homework. Even when I got to go on the "girls weekend" in Austin back in February, I spent at least part of it doing homework. Homework. Homework. HOMEWORK. The word starts to lose all meaning after awhile. AND I'll be starting up again soon. Sigh. (Not sigh. I chose this and want this so I am glad to do it). I'm also wicked stressed from the stupid job I hate so it will be nice to hopefully lose myself in activities this weekend.
Activities for this weekend:
1 - I randomly went and saw Sucker Punch at the dollar theater. I was driving by on my way home and on a whim pulled in to see what was playing right then. Sucker Punch, I had wanted to see before, was playing at the right time so that worked out. Not bad for $1.25. Not sure how I'd feel about it if I paid $7.50 or more.
2 - I am going to 6 Flags on Saturday. I got another season pass since I think Stephan and I are going when they come in July and I think my sister and I are going to Six Flags in San Antonio Memorial Day.
3 - I want to spend my Kohl's cash this weekend and get a new pair of shoes. Or a new pair of work pants.
4 - Oh. I'm going to the rodeo Saturday night. I peeved about how ridiculously difficult it was to buy a ticket online, but I succeeded with the last card I have. I am hoping that I have fun at it.
5 - I am thinking of de-cluttering my flat surfaces. My kitchen table has become the recepticle of all things I don't know what to do with. That's not really fun, but it would make me happy to be done with that. And I would have a place to spread out arts & crap supplies.
Activities for this weekend:
1 - I randomly went and saw Sucker Punch at the dollar theater. I was driving by on my way home and on a whim pulled in to see what was playing right then. Sucker Punch, I had wanted to see before, was playing at the right time so that worked out. Not bad for $1.25. Not sure how I'd feel about it if I paid $7.50 or more.
2 - I am going to 6 Flags on Saturday. I got another season pass since I think Stephan and I are going when they come in July and I think my sister and I are going to Six Flags in San Antonio Memorial Day.
3 - I want to spend my Kohl's cash this weekend and get a new pair of shoes. Or a new pair of work pants.
4 - Oh. I'm going to the rodeo Saturday night. I peeved about how ridiculously difficult it was to buy a ticket online, but I succeeded with the last card I have. I am hoping that I have fun at it.
5 - I am thinking of de-cluttering my flat surfaces. My kitchen table has become the recepticle of all things I don't know what to do with. That's not really fun, but it would make me happy to be done with that. And I would have a place to spread out arts & crap supplies.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Yesterday evening
I was having one of those days yesterday, you know the ones... what if every decision I've made since [insert xyz time frame here, but in my case it was leaving California in 2002] was the wrong one? I'm over it now. It's amazing what sunshine and cool but gorgeous weather will do for a person. I also have to keep telling myself that had I not left CA I wouldn't be embarking on a whole new career change. I would just keep working in HR and letting this new potential career die altogether. I wouldn't hate my job so much that it has convinced me to not do it anymore. I know that seems drastic - just because I hate my current job doesn't mean I have to give up the whole career - but I think the job just forced into focus what I couldn't or didn't see. I don't like where HR is going. It is becoming more and more about the bottom line than about the people I serve. I'm sure it is necessary but I don't want to be part of it.
I'm going hiking today. I'm very excited about that. I think that since I've been going to school, I've not been on a Sunday adventure in a long time. Although this is a Saturday Adventure. They are having a hike to see the blue bonnets at the Fort Worth Nature Center where I typically go hiking. I should probably pull my water pack out of storage.
I'm going hiking today. I'm very excited about that. I think that since I've been going to school, I've not been on a Sunday adventure in a long time. Although this is a Saturday Adventure. They are having a hike to see the blue bonnets at the Fort Worth Nature Center where I typically go hiking. I should probably pull my water pack out of storage.
Thursday, April 07, 2011
Hopefully this is right...
My horoscope for today: Earthquakes can't be predicted, and they can change an entire landscape in seconds. Get ready for your own personal earthquake to strike soon. The shift itself may be a bit scary, but the aftermath will create a world with a lot more opportunity for you. Some barriers will fall and enable you to see a much clearer path. The shifting is quietly happening right now, and you may get a hint or two about what's in store for you when some little changes happen.
I'm a little troubled by the parallel to earthquakes and hope to goodness that this was written before today's repeat earthquake in Japan. I'm hoping it happens, though. I need something to happen soon. (that's hopefully good).
I'm a little troubled by the parallel to earthquakes and hope to goodness that this was written before today's repeat earthquake in Japan. I'm hoping it happens, though. I need something to happen soon. (that's hopefully good).
Saturday, April 02, 2011
Is this grad school?
This is my first go around with grad school. I don't know what it should or shouldn't be. I was talking to a couple of classmates on Wednesday about our class. They both hate it. They think the prof gives too much busy work. I can see their point. We have to do 4 article summaries every week and an info hunt (we have to search for information using whatever method prescribed by the prof) each week. Everything is worth a lot of points so if you don't do well on one thing it won't irreparably damage your grade. This is, honestly, my favorite class right now. I am fine with busy work and I like that there's a lot of points on the table so that if I screw something up (like I may or may not have done in one of my other classes) it isn't going to completely decimate my grade. (Ok to be fair, in my other class it was just a B grade on a paper.) Since this is my first time in grad school, I have no idea if this class is normal (I'm getting the impression it isn't) or not. I can't be the only one who appreciates a lot of opportunity to do well, can I?
Friday, April 01, 2011
Dream wedding
I was thinking today about if I ever got married how fun it would be to get married on April fool's day. If I did that, I think everyone should have to wear top hats. All the guests that is. I think I'd use a copy of The Fool tarot card for place cards. And I think it would be just tea and cakes. (Gluten free cakes of course). I don't like tea though so I'm not sure what I would drink. And there'd be dancing. I don't really dance but I think there should always be dancing at weddings. But no rap music. I don't like rap music. Oh and it will be outside. In a garden. With blooming flowers (hopefully but if not that's okay). Now to find the man. :)
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Only Prank I'll Ever Do
Once upon a time I played an April Fool's Prank. I am not usually successful at these. I am uncomfortable with them. I'm not that creative about them. However THIS prank was the best prank ever. :) And it is the 6th anniversary.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Rays attacking me!
I blame a recent Amazing Race episode for the dream I had last night. I dreamt that I was swimming in a giant aquarium and sometimes on land. At first the manta ray was just gliding peacefully around the bottom of the tank and there were sharks too. (Seriously, this was a challenge on The Amazing Race which looked kick ass) but then I floundered around a bit and caught the ray's attention and it decided to attack me. It could change its size at will. AND It could fly out in the sky so it didn't matter that I kept getting out of the water. Here's the really interesting part to me according to dreammoods.com.
Manta Ray: To dream that you or someone is attacked by a school of manta rays, indicates that emotions that have been suppressed into your unconscious are becoming too overwhelming to keep inside any longer.
That's not at all disturbing.
Manta Ray: To dream that you or someone is attacked by a school of manta rays, indicates that emotions that have been suppressed into your unconscious are becoming too overwhelming to keep inside any longer.
That's not at all disturbing.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Homesick
Sometimes I get 'homesick' for Seattle. Since Michelle has been in Texas twice in the last two months, it has reminded me of, among other things, I have no friends here yet. And while, in general, I'm not the friendliest of people, I do sometimes get lonely for company that isn't just me and the cat. I was playing on the Kinect on Sunday and I couldn't help but think how much more fun it would have been if I were playing with someone. (Or maybe not since I was making a fool of myself running in place and jumping.) I haven't found good Indian food here yet. Or good Thai. Or good gluten-free pizza. I hate my job. I honestly feel like I'm floundering sometimes and I dream of going back to Seattle. But the job I had there is no more, and even if it was there I don't think I want to work for that boss or that other boss any longer. It would be nice to have my friends here. I miss Seattle's electricity. it was way cheaper there.
The good things about here: Closer to my sister. Swimming pool at my apartment. Cheaper rent. Own a car. Have a cat. (I could have done that in seattle I know). Six flags. lower cost of everything except electricity. HUGE apartment. HUGE BEAUTIFUL apartment. Cheaper than Seattle's was. Housekeeper, dishwasher, washer/dryer in unit. Seriously, people, those are beautiful things.
Unrelated to all this mumbling about being home sick, I have to find ways to cut expenses. I think after Sunday night's Big Love I'm cutting fancy cable. There's nothing ever on it I want to watch. It is pointless. I have netflix and a blockbuster card. I'll get it back when True Blood returns in the summer. :)
The good things about here: Closer to my sister. Swimming pool at my apartment. Cheaper rent. Own a car. Have a cat. (I could have done that in seattle I know). Six flags. lower cost of everything except electricity. HUGE apartment. HUGE BEAUTIFUL apartment. Cheaper than Seattle's was. Housekeeper, dishwasher, washer/dryer in unit. Seriously, people, those are beautiful things.
Unrelated to all this mumbling about being home sick, I have to find ways to cut expenses. I think after Sunday night's Big Love I'm cutting fancy cable. There's nothing ever on it I want to watch. It is pointless. I have netflix and a blockbuster card. I'll get it back when True Blood returns in the summer. :)
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Hedging my luck
I bought 4 lottery tickets tonight. Two for Lotto and two for Megamillions. My fingers are crossed. (I know I know I know) In order to encourage my luck, I used my last dollar to buy an MDA shamrock. That's good deed right? So that means I should win right?
One of the harder things about moving to a new place (besides having to make new friends, don't even ask me about that at all) is finding new products and brands. I have lived on the west coast for so long the only brand of cheese I like is tilamook. I love tilamook cheese. It is very very difficult to find it here for some reason. (You know not being on the west coast and all that). However I've found something that makes me just as happy (or maybe happier)... Cabot cheese is available here! I first had Cabot cheese in Vermont visiting Katie girl (Hi Katiegirl!). I do love me some Cabot cheese and even better it is "president's choice" (the generic Kroger brand). Yay! That's a happy thing to find.
One of the harder things about moving to a new place (besides having to make new friends, don't even ask me about that at all) is finding new products and brands. I have lived on the west coast for so long the only brand of cheese I like is tilamook. I love tilamook cheese. It is very very difficult to find it here for some reason. (You know not being on the west coast and all that). However I've found something that makes me just as happy (or maybe happier)... Cabot cheese is available here! I first had Cabot cheese in Vermont visiting Katie girl (Hi Katiegirl!). I do love me some Cabot cheese and even better it is "president's choice" (the generic Kroger brand). Yay! That's a happy thing to find.
Saturday, March 05, 2011
I know you have opinions.
For my birthday my mom is sending me money for a new bed. I may be going to my nemesis, who didn't hire me, big discount department store. Here are the ones I've found so far that I've liked.
Found at overstock.com. I would have looked at more of theirs online but their website started downloading a virus so I had to close the window.
I THINK this is my favorite one. Although I'd really like to see it in person so that I can feel the texture of the bed. Can be bought at nemesis didn't hire me store.
Also found at nemesis didn't hire me store. I like the metal/wood combo.
I like how it is curvy like a spider web or a giant dream catcher. (Also from nemesis store)
I like the simple straight forwardness of this one.
Current furniture in the bedroom are a white bookshelf, a white dresser with black knobs and a white desk and 1 wooden bookshelf cherry color. I love the white dresser so I probably won't change that anytime soon.
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
WWJD
What would Joanne do? :)
We had a conversation in class the other night about ethics and information professionals. The prof said that there is some indication that Timothy McVeigh (OKC Bombing) consulted a librarian about bomb building. She asked would we give that out. I was the only one in class to say no. And my statement was more along the lines of I couldn't live with myself if I found out information I gave out had caused the deaths of people in that fashion. A couple people went down the "slippery slope" route... if you don't give out "how to make a bomb" where does it stop. We shouldn't judge what people would like to know. Blah blah blah. The ALA believes that we should provide information without judging the information being requested but there's one guy we read about who agrees with my way of thinking. You have to consider society. Someone else pointed out (or maybe it was slippery slope girl) that it would be like pharmacists refusing to give out the morning after pill. I quickly pointed out that a - pharmacists have a binding professional oath as opposed to librarians who have a voluntary oath and b - many many places have upheld that pharmacists can refuse to provide the morning after pill. (And physician's don't all have to provide abortions if they do not choose to.) Anyway, apparently I'm a dissenter in my class.
We had a conversation in class the other night about ethics and information professionals. The prof said that there is some indication that Timothy McVeigh (OKC Bombing) consulted a librarian about bomb building. She asked would we give that out. I was the only one in class to say no. And my statement was more along the lines of I couldn't live with myself if I found out information I gave out had caused the deaths of people in that fashion. A couple people went down the "slippery slope" route... if you don't give out "how to make a bomb" where does it stop. We shouldn't judge what people would like to know. Blah blah blah. The ALA believes that we should provide information without judging the information being requested but there's one guy we read about who agrees with my way of thinking. You have to consider society. Someone else pointed out (or maybe it was slippery slope girl) that it would be like pharmacists refusing to give out the morning after pill. I quickly pointed out that a - pharmacists have a binding professional oath as opposed to librarians who have a voluntary oath and b - many many places have upheld that pharmacists can refuse to provide the morning after pill. (And physician's don't all have to provide abortions if they do not choose to.) Anyway, apparently I'm a dissenter in my class.
Stupid Human Tricks
I was speaking to a coworker the other day about something I had seen on my boss's desk. She asked me if I was in there snooping around and I said no, she was babbling at me and I read it upside down on her desk. She seemed surprised I could completely and totally read upside down. I had never thought about it. I've been able to do it as long as I can remember. She challenged me and I totally read her job ad upside down. I think it may be related to my left handedness. Is this a weird skill?
Friday, February 11, 2011
I have almost twice as many tweets as I do blog posts
But that's totally not what this post is about. :)
Weekly I go and volunteer at a local domestic violence shelter. I work with the kiddos while their moms are in counseling. (By work with I mean baby sit, not anything exact or psychological or anything like that). (But that's not what this post is about either) (Although recently there was a little girl there who had the most startling eyes. One was brown, deep brown so dark you could barely see the iris and the other was this brilliant cobalt blue. It was striking and if/when her unibrow gets controlled I'm sure she'll be stunning (she's only little right now).
Anyway, every time I go and come back I drive past this church that is called Hope. I like the name of that. Every time I drive past on the way home I think, hmm... I wonder if the doors are open in the evening (well night really). I can't figure out what kind of church it is. I think I just like the name Hope. It makes me think about joining. Seriously, Texas is sucking me in. Or maybe just the reality that I'm not happy with several aspects of my life and maybe something like an organized community group to join would help. When I was in Alaska I used to ask my churchgoing friends why they believed in god. Some didn't know how to respond. Several indicated that that's what their parents did so that's what they did. My favorite answer was from my roommate of the time (not Kate) who said it just made her feel better and more centered. I would like to feel more centered. Yoga just doesn't do it for me. My mind wanders. I feel stupid and uncoordinated and especially fat. Meditation makes me antsy. (Again my mind wanders and it makes me twitchy). Now that I'm in school, homework is taking over my weekends. I'm looking for something. I just don't know where to find it.
Weekly I go and volunteer at a local domestic violence shelter. I work with the kiddos while their moms are in counseling. (By work with I mean baby sit, not anything exact or psychological or anything like that). (But that's not what this post is about either) (Although recently there was a little girl there who had the most startling eyes. One was brown, deep brown so dark you could barely see the iris and the other was this brilliant cobalt blue. It was striking and if/when her unibrow gets controlled I'm sure she'll be stunning (she's only little right now).
Anyway, every time I go and come back I drive past this church that is called Hope. I like the name of that. Every time I drive past on the way home I think, hmm... I wonder if the doors are open in the evening (well night really). I can't figure out what kind of church it is. I think I just like the name Hope. It makes me think about joining. Seriously, Texas is sucking me in. Or maybe just the reality that I'm not happy with several aspects of my life and maybe something like an organized community group to join would help. When I was in Alaska I used to ask my churchgoing friends why they believed in god. Some didn't know how to respond. Several indicated that that's what their parents did so that's what they did. My favorite answer was from my roommate of the time (not Kate) who said it just made her feel better and more centered. I would like to feel more centered. Yoga just doesn't do it for me. My mind wanders. I feel stupid and uncoordinated and especially fat. Meditation makes me antsy. (Again my mind wanders and it makes me twitchy). Now that I'm in school, homework is taking over my weekends. I'm looking for something. I just don't know where to find it.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Things to say
This morning while I was hanging out waiting to get dressed to go on my interview, my neighbor came by to let me know that she thought Sam had escaped. She had seen him on her fence. It wasn't Sam. It was Sam's twin. He is a stray that the apartment people have tried ot have animal control catch but haven't been able to. They seem fascinated with each other. Sam, who already loves to sit on the balcony, will stare at the other cat for hours. Apparently the other cat is also interested in being Sam's friend if he was on the balcony trying to come up to visit. Weird.
I need a pair of some heeled boots/shoes that are black. My suit pants are too long and usually I wear a pair of peep-toe pumps with them but it is 17 degrees and slushy outside and that just wasn't going to work. So I wore my suit with my black Doc Martens which means my pants dragged on the slushy ground like I'm some sort of teenager. Time to go to the Dry Cleaners.
I went on a job interview and had a talk with a recruiter at an agency today. The recruiter has 2 positions open. One I'm not interested in at all since it is for another health care group and I'm not having it again. The other, she says, is for a place that she has heard good things about from the other people who have been placed there. The downer for that one... salary lower than what I earn now. Now, to be fair I pay a lot for benefits so if their benefits are better/more covered that might be okay. The problem is, I can't really find a lot of time to interview for a lot of jobs. Don't even get me started on my boss and time issues. The other place was a manufacturer of heating & cooling units. I interviewed with the recruiter, the person who would be my boss and I was supposed to interview with the person who has the position now and one other person, but they had left early. That reassured me since I think I don't believe in not meeting the rest of the team for a job. We'll see. I think I might like it there. Their hand outs are certainly impressive. :) If this one doesn't work out I may take a little break. Stock up some more time so that I have time to interview. :)
I need a pair of some heeled boots/shoes that are black. My suit pants are too long and usually I wear a pair of peep-toe pumps with them but it is 17 degrees and slushy outside and that just wasn't going to work. So I wore my suit with my black Doc Martens which means my pants dragged on the slushy ground like I'm some sort of teenager. Time to go to the Dry Cleaners.
I went on a job interview and had a talk with a recruiter at an agency today. The recruiter has 2 positions open. One I'm not interested in at all since it is for another health care group and I'm not having it again. The other, she says, is for a place that she has heard good things about from the other people who have been placed there. The downer for that one... salary lower than what I earn now. Now, to be fair I pay a lot for benefits so if their benefits are better/more covered that might be okay. The problem is, I can't really find a lot of time to interview for a lot of jobs. Don't even get me started on my boss and time issues. The other place was a manufacturer of heating & cooling units. I interviewed with the recruiter, the person who would be my boss and I was supposed to interview with the person who has the position now and one other person, but they had left early. That reassured me since I think I don't believe in not meeting the rest of the team for a job. We'll see. I think I might like it there. Their hand outs are certainly impressive. :) If this one doesn't work out I may take a little break. Stock up some more time so that I have time to interview. :)
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Unintended Consequences
With the loss of almost 20 lbs and getting down below weight "y", two things have occurred that have unsettled me. (Both of which are probably TMI so you're forewarned)
1. My periods have returned. I've had more periods in the last 3 months than I have in the last year. I know it is better for me. I know this is probably a good thing, but I don't have to like it. I mean really, two periods a year is a pretty good thing. It is also weird to me since I haven't had regular ones since I lived in California. That was a LONG time ago (I moved in 2002) and I'm pretty sure I haven't been over weight "y" that entire time.
2. If my measurements are correct (which they might not be I'm kind of dumb about that) I've only lost 1 inch in my waist and like 1 inch in my chest and yet like 4 - 5 inches in my b00bs. This is a problem because while my hair is still in an annoying stage, my chest is pretty much the only thing I like on my body. (Yes I recognize that's bad.)
It is almost enough to make me gain it back. ALMOST. :) But since I want to sky dive and scuba dive I'll keep going, even though this past week's food consumption has not supported that view. (I gained 1/2 a lb when I weighed myself the other day, but I can probably chalk that up to period since it started the next day).
1. My periods have returned. I've had more periods in the last 3 months than I have in the last year. I know it is better for me. I know this is probably a good thing, but I don't have to like it. I mean really, two periods a year is a pretty good thing. It is also weird to me since I haven't had regular ones since I lived in California. That was a LONG time ago (I moved in 2002) and I'm pretty sure I haven't been over weight "y" that entire time.
2. If my measurements are correct (which they might not be I'm kind of dumb about that) I've only lost 1 inch in my waist and like 1 inch in my chest and yet like 4 - 5 inches in my b00bs. This is a problem because while my hair is still in an annoying stage, my chest is pretty much the only thing I like on my body. (Yes I recognize that's bad.)
It is almost enough to make me gain it back. ALMOST. :) But since I want to sky dive and scuba dive I'll keep going, even though this past week's food consumption has not supported that view. (I gained 1/2 a lb when I weighed myself the other day, but I can probably chalk that up to period since it started the next day).
Saturday, January 08, 2011
Sometimes I hate People
The grocery store is one of those places where you really realize how stupid/annoying/whatever people can be. First I went to wal-mart because I think some of the staples (tp and cat litter) are going to be cheaper there than elsewhere. Now I admit I'm an idiot for going to Wal-Mart at 11:30 on a Saturday. In that respect I deserve what I get. Even though in general I LOVE self-check out, somehow Wal-Mart's self check out is always a FAIL for me so I don't use it. (Related, I may finally have found a toy Sam likes to play with. He's been attacking it much of the evening.) I was in the 20 items or less line. (Shouldn't that be fewer?) (According to wikipedia, it totally should be). There was another 20 items or fewer line next to me that was moving much more slowly than mine. This woman in that line had a full shopping cart. She kept glaring over at me because the lines were kind of undefined and so I got directly behind one person to get in the quicker line. I wanted to say "look lady, I'm weirdly anal about this and I have 11 items whereas you clearly have well over 20 so get your knickers out of a knot." I did not though.
So then I move on to another chain grocery store. I was looking for some produce and a few of those seasoning mixes and a couple other things I couldn't get at Wal-Mart. I pick up my cucumbers, some clementines, chocolate chips (because I'm making GF fruit pies with cherry and chocolate chips, sounds good, no?), and a few other things. They don't have my seasoning packages but that's okay. (related, I know you use "Oriental" for things and items like "Oriental" rugs, but I'm still vaguely uncomfortable that that's the label they use for the Asian food section.) I see there are 2 regular lanes open with HUGE lines and the self check out is open. Wow, one is even totally open. I go and start scanning and then realize nope, someone is in the midst of shopping and apparently has stepped away. Not acceptable. So I get in line behind a woman with three candy bars. This should be quick. Nope. One of the candies is not part of the 2/something deal so she takes it back, leaving the register open but in use. Then she picks up several other things while she's away and then she can't figure out how to check out. So I try one other lane but it won't scan my cans and so I give up and put all my stuff back. I can only tolerate the ridiculousness for so long before I wanted to kick someone. I then went across the street to the other grocery store that I like better anyway and got EVERYTHING I wanted and there was no waiting at self-check out and there was no idiots who had wandered off mid-way through checking out. So all was right with the world. :)
So then I move on to another chain grocery store. I was looking for some produce and a few of those seasoning mixes and a couple other things I couldn't get at Wal-Mart. I pick up my cucumbers, some clementines, chocolate chips (because I'm making GF fruit pies with cherry and chocolate chips, sounds good, no?), and a few other things. They don't have my seasoning packages but that's okay. (related, I know you use "Oriental" for things and items like "Oriental" rugs, but I'm still vaguely uncomfortable that that's the label they use for the Asian food section.) I see there are 2 regular lanes open with HUGE lines and the self check out is open. Wow, one is even totally open. I go and start scanning and then realize nope, someone is in the midst of shopping and apparently has stepped away. Not acceptable. So I get in line behind a woman with three candy bars. This should be quick. Nope. One of the candies is not part of the 2/something deal so she takes it back, leaving the register open but in use. Then she picks up several other things while she's away and then she can't figure out how to check out. So I try one other lane but it won't scan my cans and so I give up and put all my stuff back. I can only tolerate the ridiculousness for so long before I wanted to kick someone. I then went across the street to the other grocery store that I like better anyway and got EVERYTHING I wanted and there was no waiting at self-check out and there was no idiots who had wandered off mid-way through checking out. So all was right with the world. :)
Saturday, January 01, 2011
Goals for 2011
As I've long established I don't do resolutions. I just have goals. Things I'd like to accomplish. I didn't make any goals in 2009 for 2010 apparently. I did find goals in 2008 but those fell by the wayside. So trying again:
1 - I want to get out more. Maybe do more meet-ups. It's been 8 months and I still have nobody to hang out with and although I've dated more since moving to Texas than I have in the last 2 years of living in Seattle, I'm not interested in the minotaur so I'll not do that again.
2 - Get a new job. I hate my current job.
3 - Keep working on paying off debt. I've been trying to pay more on my cards than min payment and all that but I've gotten a little bad over the holidays. Sadly I know where my tax refund will be going this year. (Well not sadly this is good and what is necessary.)
4 - Do well in grad school. I am a slacker at heart.And a lot of this will be online/virtual class. I'd like to do well this time. (I didn't do horribly in college. I had like a 3.2 GPA but it would be cool to graduate with honors or something like that).
5 - Lose more weight. I've lost about 20 lbs so far. I can pull all of my pants down without undoing them. Before I buy new pants I want to lose more weight so I can go down 2 pants sizes and not 1. I was doing well about exercising before so I'm hoping to get back into that. If I get the job in Plano I want between that commute and the commute to the college it will get much harder to eat well and be careful about calories.
So there we go. 5 goals. They seem doable.
1 - I want to get out more. Maybe do more meet-ups. It's been 8 months and I still have nobody to hang out with and although I've dated more since moving to Texas than I have in the last 2 years of living in Seattle, I'm not interested in the minotaur so I'll not do that again.
2 - Get a new job. I hate my current job.
3 - Keep working on paying off debt. I've been trying to pay more on my cards than min payment and all that but I've gotten a little bad over the holidays. Sadly I know where my tax refund will be going this year. (Well not sadly this is good and what is necessary.)
4 - Do well in grad school. I am a slacker at heart.And a lot of this will be online/virtual class. I'd like to do well this time. (I didn't do horribly in college. I had like a 3.2 GPA but it would be cool to graduate with honors or something like that).
5 - Lose more weight. I've lost about 20 lbs so far. I can pull all of my pants down without undoing them. Before I buy new pants I want to lose more weight so I can go down 2 pants sizes and not 1. I was doing well about exercising before so I'm hoping to get back into that. If I get the job in Plano I want between that commute and the commute to the college it will get much harder to eat well and be careful about calories.
So there we go. 5 goals. They seem doable.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Truthiness Day 5
Something I hope to do in life:
I hope to acquire kids. And I hope to get married. And I hope to live in Ireland. I'm not sure if they are mutually exclusive. And I hope to go to China and see the Great Wall. And I hope to get a job I love. That's a lot of somethings I hope to do. :)
I hope to acquire kids. And I hope to get married. And I hope to live in Ireland. I'm not sure if they are mutually exclusive. And I hope to go to China and see the Great Wall. And I hope to get a job I love. That's a lot of somethings I hope to do. :)
Twas the weekend before Christmas
My family all came to visit. We survived. Well, not all... the older niece and nephew weren't here. I think this year may have been the last one I buy them any presents for Christmas. I never get one from them nor do I ever hear from them.
With the exception of the massive hospitalization of my mother, the weekend was pretty fun. Mandy, Kayla and I got to go ziplining like we wanted to. It was really fun! Not too scary. Although I kept flipping around backwards on the line which scared me a little bit since I couldn't see where I needed to start the stop procedure. (Well and to stop you need to have your feet facing forward to land on the platform)
We went to ICE at the Gaylord Texas. It was awesome. It was so neat. They bring in some insane quantity of ice and they have Chinese artists carve it into various sculptures. This year's theme was Charlie Brown's Christmas. It was so beautiful. (Well and cold!)
After that we went to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. That was a nice treat. All in all it was a pretty good trip (hospitalization aside).
With the exception of the massive hospitalization of my mother, the weekend was pretty fun. Mandy, Kayla and I got to go ziplining like we wanted to. It was really fun! Not too scary. Although I kept flipping around backwards on the line which scared me a little bit since I couldn't see where I needed to start the stop procedure. (Well and to stop you need to have your feet facing forward to land on the platform)
We went to ICE at the Gaylord Texas. It was awesome. It was so neat. They bring in some insane quantity of ice and they have Chinese artists carve it into various sculptures. This year's theme was Charlie Brown's Christmas. It was so beautiful. (Well and cold!)
After that we went to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. That was a nice treat. All in all it was a pretty good trip (hospitalization aside).
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Confessions from the still sleepy
My mom went to the ER last night and got admitted to the hospital. She'll be out today. It was dumb. On friday she brought her cat, Max, over to the apartment and Sam did not respond well. In fact he cornered Max in the bedroom and was hissing and yowling and growling at him. There are certain noises that when an animal is making that noise you don't touch it. She did and Sam bit her. She bled a lot. And over the course of yesterday her hand swelled up with infection. And then it started running down her arm. So we went to the ER. We got sent to another hospital. (She via ambulance) and finally at around 1 AM they admitted her and we got to go home. We'll pick her up today.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
I did it!
I stepped on the scale this morning to see how much damage I did with my bad eating last week/over the weekend. And what to my wonderous eyes did appear... a weight lower than weight Y! I had to look twice to be sure but there it was... a pound and a half lower than I needed it to be! Yippee!
Saturday, December 04, 2010
I invited my parents?
My sister is coming to Dallas the weekend of the 18thish to go on our zipline tour (1.2 lbs to go!) and we'll go to holiday in the park at 6 flags and to ICE a ice sculpture show at a fancypants hotel here in Dallas. Because I'm a sap and easily influenced by my sister, I invited my parents to come and join us. They might actually do it! Now since my palatial apartment isn't THAT big they'll stay at a nearby hotel. (There is a hotel literally next door to my apartment complex. We share a fence).
I went to a party tonight. That's a big deal. I don't usually do social things but I have to. I'm sick of being by myself all the time. There weren't really any possible contenders to be my local friends, but it is good for me to practice talking to people. I'm not so good with that. Tomorrow I'm going to a gf event what a mexican place and then next week I'm going to a bowling party with my apartment people. Just call me buttterfly. :)
I have an interview on Wednesday. It is for one I phone screened for before Thanksgiving. Since I hadn't heard anything I presumed it wasn't happening so I was pleasantly surprised to get the call. Although it was funny because there was an email accidentally sent to me from someone about whether or not the people they wanted to interview had been called in yet. Oops. :) It is a phone interview and then I suppose if I move on it'll be an in person one. If I get called for that and it happens to be on the 20th (the day I'm taking off to spend time with the fam) I'll take that as a sign the job is MINE. I don't want to have to take time off to go interview. My boss is a freak about that shit. The recruiter and I are salaried employees. Typically even if a salaried person doesn't work 8 hours you get paid for the full day and don't use PTO to pay if you leave early or whatnot. She charged my coworker like 3 hours of PTO when she left early. In WA that wouldn't be legal. Unfortunately here it is. She also won't let the 2 hourly employees do things like work through lunch or take only 1/2 hour lunches for the week to make up leaving early for an appointment or whatever. Have I mentioned that the 2 hourly employees are not allowed to work later than either me or bboss? One of us have to stick around if the employee works late. So bizarre. (Usually it is less than 10 minutes so not really a big deal but so stupid!) Anyway I've got high hopes. The job would be within my area of expertise but doing something really different than what I do. I wouldn't have to administer leaves of absences anymore! (I LOATHE administering leaves of absence.)
I went to a party tonight. That's a big deal. I don't usually do social things but I have to. I'm sick of being by myself all the time. There weren't really any possible contenders to be my local friends, but it is good for me to practice talking to people. I'm not so good with that. Tomorrow I'm going to a gf event what a mexican place and then next week I'm going to a bowling party with my apartment people. Just call me buttterfly. :)
I have an interview on Wednesday. It is for one I phone screened for before Thanksgiving. Since I hadn't heard anything I presumed it wasn't happening so I was pleasantly surprised to get the call. Although it was funny because there was an email accidentally sent to me from someone about whether or not the people they wanted to interview had been called in yet. Oops. :) It is a phone interview and then I suppose if I move on it'll be an in person one. If I get called for that and it happens to be on the 20th (the day I'm taking off to spend time with the fam) I'll take that as a sign the job is MINE. I don't want to have to take time off to go interview. My boss is a freak about that shit. The recruiter and I are salaried employees. Typically even if a salaried person doesn't work 8 hours you get paid for the full day and don't use PTO to pay if you leave early or whatnot. She charged my coworker like 3 hours of PTO when she left early. In WA that wouldn't be legal. Unfortunately here it is. She also won't let the 2 hourly employees do things like work through lunch or take only 1/2 hour lunches for the week to make up leaving early for an appointment or whatever. Have I mentioned that the 2 hourly employees are not allowed to work later than either me or bboss? One of us have to stick around if the employee works late. So bizarre. (Usually it is less than 10 minutes so not really a big deal but so stupid!) Anyway I've got high hopes. The job would be within my area of expertise but doing something really different than what I do. I wouldn't have to administer leaves of absences anymore! (I LOATHE administering leaves of absence.)
Friday, December 03, 2010
Shh....
My frequency of posts is inversely proportional (or maybe just proportional I don't know I didn't do so well on the math part) to my state of mind. Lately state of mind not so good. In fact I started back on the happy pills the week before Thanksgiving. I like my apartment. I like my car. I like living in Texas. I like my community. I like my cat. I like my volunteering. I am excited about starting grad school. However, I LOATHE my job. I LOATHE my boss. I only sort of like my coworkers. I have no local friends. Apparently one side is not enough to tip the other.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
truthiness Day 18 - Gay marriage
Another easy question for me: What do I think of gay marriage? Similar to my views on religion, it isn't for me but it isn't my place to judge what others do. So, gays want to get married? Let em.
I ultimately believe that marriage has no place with government so the gov't should do civil unions to provide all the 'benefits' of marriage only and let the churches decide on "marriage." Oddly enough, I'm also not against polygamy. If more than two consenting adults want to enter into a relationship with some legally defined benefits I've got no issues with that. The key words (and this is important given FLDS) are consenting and adults. I can totally respect the issues with the FLDS church, marrying off children, chasing off the boys so there's no competition for the girls, etc. But amongst consenting adults, who am I to judge if 2 men and a woman or 2 women and a man or 3 men and 2 women or whatever want to "marry" each other? more power to them if they can find that many people to love and be with forever.
I ultimately believe that marriage has no place with government so the gov't should do civil unions to provide all the 'benefits' of marriage only and let the churches decide on "marriage." Oddly enough, I'm also not against polygamy. If more than two consenting adults want to enter into a relationship with some legally defined benefits I've got no issues with that. The key words (and this is important given FLDS) are consenting and adults. I can totally respect the issues with the FLDS church, marrying off children, chasing off the boys so there's no competition for the girls, etc. But amongst consenting adults, who am I to judge if 2 men and a woman or 2 women and a man or 3 men and 2 women or whatever want to "marry" each other? more power to them if they can find that many people to love and be with forever.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Ho ho ho
I am finding myself full of the Christmas spirit lately. Like I want to decorate my balcony and put up my tree AND I was even thinking of getting a real live tree this year! (I love live trees!) Currently I am downloading all my holiday cds into itunes so I can make a holiday play list for work. This is unlike me. I haven't put up a Christmas tree since 2003 or 2004. I don't believe in the "reason for the season."
My sister is coming in December and we're going to do our own little Christmas the weekend before Christmas. I'm TOTALLY excited about going to CA over Thanksgiving. Totally ready for a few days away from work. There's a lot of excitement around me. Yay! :)
My sister is coming in December and we're going to do our own little Christmas the weekend before Christmas. I'm TOTALLY excited about going to CA over Thanksgiving. Totally ready for a few days away from work. There's a lot of excitement around me. Yay! :)
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Truthiness post 1
I mentioned when I posted the truthiness list, that I would probably not do them in order. I'm a procrastinator by nature. (Someone may call that lazy... :) ) I think I'll go with Day 19 first (mostly because it is really easy). "What do you think of religion?"
I am an atheist. I have been since I discovered the word somewhere in junior high. In actuality I was before, but by then I had a word to define it. I do not believe in any higher being, higher power or whatever. However, in general I think if people want to believe in a higher power that's on them. As long as their belief does not impact my lack of what do I care? I feel the same way about organized religion and church. If someone feels better praying to something or joining with others who share the same views, how am I to stop that? It isn't my place to make that determination. I think extremists are bad, but I would say that about any extreme not just religious extremists. In general I view current religion the same way we view the Greek Gods or the ancient Egyptian beliefs (Horus and Osiris and all that)... it is a nice story to explain something that is currently inexplicable. I do believe in 1000 years from now, those futurepeople will look back at us and think the same way we do about the Greek gods.
I am an atheist. I have been since I discovered the word somewhere in junior high. In actuality I was before, but by then I had a word to define it. I do not believe in any higher being, higher power or whatever. However, in general I think if people want to believe in a higher power that's on them. As long as their belief does not impact my lack of what do I care? I feel the same way about organized religion and church. If someone feels better praying to something or joining with others who share the same views, how am I to stop that? It isn't my place to make that determination. I think extremists are bad, but I would say that about any extreme not just religious extremists. In general I view current religion the same way we view the Greek Gods or the ancient Egyptian beliefs (Horus and Osiris and all that)... it is a nice story to explain something that is currently inexplicable. I do believe in 1000 years from now, those futurepeople will look back at us and think the same way we do about the Greek gods.
Monday, November 08, 2010
Swarm!
If I were a biologist, which I'm not obviously, I would totally study why the birds seem to converge where the 820 and the 35 cross. I believe there are something like 10,000 birds that all fly into this area and land on the ground or on the electric poles etc. It fascinates me! The birds end up on the power lines so close together that the line is completely covered by bird and the ground almost looks black with birds all sitting on the grass. Then all of a sudden, they all launch themselves and there are thousands of birds darkening the sky. I want to know why they do this. It seems weird to me. Especially since like 1/2 mile in any direction there are almost no birds at all. So weird.
Sunday, November 07, 2010
Fait Accompli
I know that I grouse about day light savings time every year, but this year I actually managed to get a shitton done today.
1 - I took the GRE. It was the last thing I needed to do for grad school. I've been conditionally accepted anyway, but if I hadn't taken it by May I'd get booted out of school. I'm not sure if I did well enough on it to not get booted but I don't think it really matters at this point. (Actually checking UNT's website I'm way above their average score on verbal but somewhat below their score on the math part). I used almost every minute I was given. On the essay portion I ran out of time. I had finished the essay but was going back through it. The argument discussion I actually finished 3 minutes early! Math I ran out of time to do and ended up not getting 3 questions done. (maybe 4 but I was definitely guessing the last 5 - 6 anyway). And the verbal I finished with I think 15 seconds to spare. I went through registration with my advisor last Monday so theoretically I'm signed up for 3 classes next semester. Eep! That's considered full time. I am thinking I can do it, but who knows. I think the drive alone might kill any weight loss I've been able to accomplish. I will be in class 2 days a week most weeks and 3 days a week once a month. And Denton is far y'all!
2 - I worked on my t-shirt quilt. Ironing the fusible web onto all the t-shirts is the longest process. And since I already cut the shirts I am now having a problem figuring out how to put them together.
3 - I cooked! I made one of my favorite soups, avgolemono soup. I made M&M almond muffins. I toasted the almonds for the muffins even!
1 - I took the GRE. It was the last thing I needed to do for grad school. I've been conditionally accepted anyway, but if I hadn't taken it by May I'd get booted out of school. I'm not sure if I did well enough on it to not get booted but I don't think it really matters at this point. (Actually checking UNT's website I'm way above their average score on verbal but somewhat below their score on the math part). I used almost every minute I was given. On the essay portion I ran out of time. I had finished the essay but was going back through it. The argument discussion I actually finished 3 minutes early! Math I ran out of time to do and ended up not getting 3 questions done. (maybe 4 but I was definitely guessing the last 5 - 6 anyway). And the verbal I finished with I think 15 seconds to spare. I went through registration with my advisor last Monday so theoretically I'm signed up for 3 classes next semester. Eep! That's considered full time. I am thinking I can do it, but who knows. I think the drive alone might kill any weight loss I've been able to accomplish. I will be in class 2 days a week most weeks and 3 days a week once a month. And Denton is far y'all!
2 - I worked on my t-shirt quilt. Ironing the fusible web onto all the t-shirts is the longest process. And since I already cut the shirts I am now having a problem figuring out how to put them together.
3 - I cooked! I made one of my favorite soups, avgolemono soup. I made M&M almond muffins. I toasted the almonds for the muffins even!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
That explains a lot
I adopted a cat a couple of weeks ago. He's short hair. I have a plan for when Michelle comes to visit (he'll go to kitty care and the housekeeper will come in the day before she arrives). His name is Samuel. He is all black and declawed. He doesn't like to play. I have bought multiple cat toys and he really doesn't want to play. I thought it might be because he's in a new environment. Not so much. We went to the vet today due to his ears bothering him... turns out he's not 18 months old as the cat adoption place lady said, he's actually between 5 & 6. Eh. She can only know what the people who released him to her know.
I just decided the fish weren't cutting it. Petting the kitty (not a euphamism) is calming and I need that. Also Sam gives me someone to talk to on the weekends.
I just decided the fish weren't cutting it. Petting the kitty (not a euphamism) is calming and I need that. Also Sam gives me someone to talk to on the weekends.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Armadillos are the Helen Keller of the animal world
Driving home I keep driving past a dead armadillo on his back in the gutter. I kind of want to pick it up and dispose of it properly because it makes me sad to see it there every day. My coworker told me, though, that armadillos have poor hearing and poor sight and when startled they jump straight up which is how they get hit by cars.
I got into graduate school. I'm VERY excited about that. I'll start in the spring. I still have to take the GRE in November but that's no big deal. Ok it might be. I'm looking through this GRE book and on the one hand I flip through it and think, really? you are reviewing THIS? and then I look at the questions and think oh that's why you are reviewing that... when was the last time I did exponents? I thought that librarians got paid way less than what I currently earn, but I looked at the ALA site today out of curiousity and it isn't a huge difference than what I earn now. Hopefully by the time I graduate I'll have paid way down my cc and car loan so the salary shift won't be too traumatic. One thing I'm excited about is the prospect that I could even live internationally. With what I currently do that wouldn't work out.
I'm taking a break from calorie counting soon. I've been stuck at a weight 4 lbs more than weight x (or weight y whichever I identified as the fatter one) for the past 3ish weeks. Maybe 4 weeks. It is driving me nuts! (Unrelated, I LOATHE that damn Train song). So I'll take a break and hopefully not gain my 13ish lbs back and start again renewed and ready to go.
I got into graduate school. I'm VERY excited about that. I'll start in the spring. I still have to take the GRE in November but that's no big deal. Ok it might be. I'm looking through this GRE book and on the one hand I flip through it and think, really? you are reviewing THIS? and then I look at the questions and think oh that's why you are reviewing that... when was the last time I did exponents? I thought that librarians got paid way less than what I currently earn, but I looked at the ALA site today out of curiousity and it isn't a huge difference than what I earn now. Hopefully by the time I graduate I'll have paid way down my cc and car loan so the salary shift won't be too traumatic. One thing I'm excited about is the prospect that I could even live internationally. With what I currently do that wouldn't work out.
I'm taking a break from calorie counting soon. I've been stuck at a weight 4 lbs more than weight x (or weight y whichever I identified as the fatter one) for the past 3ish weeks. Maybe 4 weeks. It is driving me nuts! (Unrelated, I LOATHE that damn Train song). So I'll take a break and hopefully not gain my 13ish lbs back and start again renewed and ready to go.
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
30 days of Truthiness
I found this over on Avitable's blog. It seems like an interesting project. I'm not certain I'll do them all and I am certain I will not do them in order (being the type that puts off the worst things as long as possible). Although maybe it would be even more interesting to do this as inauthentically as possible. (so 30 days of lying!) I'll contemplate that.
It’s just a series of writing prompts, encouraging you to be honest and truthful. I liked the idea and thought I’d use them whenever I want something to discuss. Here are the prompts if you want to do them yourself:
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
It’s just a series of writing prompts, encouraging you to be honest and truthful. I liked the idea and thought I’d use them whenever I want something to discuss. Here are the prompts if you want to do them yourself:
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
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