Ok so he asked me about the cheating/divorce thing that Michelle IM'd him about earlier... here's our convo. :) I will admit that I pretended not to know anything about Michelle's convo with him.
Cheater says: Do you think that cheating ( one act of indescretion) is automatically grounds for divorce
jo says: Yes
jo says: Why do you ask?
Cheater says: Michelle and I had this discussion days ago and I just thought I would run it by you to see your opionion
jo says: Oh... Yes I do
Cheater says: she agrees with you
jo says: She is a smart cookie.
jo says: You, I take it don't
Cheater says: Well, my point was that marriage is suposed to be this sacred eternally strong commitment based on love...and if marriage was important enough for two people to agree to bond for life than I dont think a single act of indescretion should be automatically grounds for divorce...people are people and they make mistakes
jo says: Yeah but if you make a mistake that is so basic and is so against the most simple premise, than what you're telling your partner is that "Yeah I made this promise, but something hotter/better/skinnier/whatever came along and I slipped" there's a mistake and there's a MISTAKE
jo says: You're telling the person that the promise you made is basically worthless.
jo says: and that you have so little regard for that person you can't keep a promise.
jo says: And if you can't keep the most basic of promises, how can I trust the person to keep other promises?
Cheater says: or maybe that the stresses of life accompanied by a recently emotionally distant wife and alcohol and purley by accident you found yourself in a situation that you made a wrong desicion
jo says: if your life is that shitty you got bigger problems and probably will end up divorcing anyway.
jo says: and that's really an excuse.
jo says: so if you weren't able to get it up one night, she should be able to go out and find someone who can?
jo says: And if you love her how would you find yourself in that place to begin with?
Cheater says: well maybe not, maybe it just happen to be a situaional low in the relationship acccompanied by overwhelming stress from the work place
Cheater says: well lets say you are hangin out with the guys at one of your friends homes drinking, just trying to relax and escape life for a little while, you get too drunk and some women friends of you buddies show up and start coming on to you
jo says: then you repeat the following line.
jo says: NO I'm married.
jo says: No i'm married
jo says: No. I'm married and I made a promise.
Cheater says: it could happen, and you loving your wife had nothing to do with you being in that situation
jo says: Fuck that situational low
jo says: Then you get the fuck out of the situation
jo says: if you're that worried about these girls coming on to you... fucking leave
jo says: You don't cheat.
Cheater says: you are too drunk to walk out
Cheater says: and one of em undoes your pants and start sucking your johnson
Cheater says: ha ha
jo says: Then I guess you feel fucking guilty for the rest of your fucking life but you sure as shit don't tell her.
jo says: And you're still in the wrong.
jo says: If you're so drunk that you don't even know what the fuck you're doing... there's bigger issues.
Cheater says: yes true, I agree with that
Cheater says: but I dont think that a situation such as that, should be automatic grounds for termination. Maybe the man is a wonderful dad, a caring husband very generous with his time and money with his family...is a good person
jo says: Obviously he isn't.
jo says: If he is haning out in situations where this kind of thing could happen.
jo says: If he is hanging out with guys who know girls (or knows girls on his own) who would have so little regard for his marriage.
Cheater says: he is not hangin out in these situations, prior to this his friends house had never had this kinda women hangin arounds
jo says: And for the most part, girls don't just jump on without some sort of invite.
Cheater says: Not true, I have been in several situations where It was difinately clear that I was not interested but the women chose to continue the pursuit of physicalnesss
jo says: Well then you're just a fucking special boy aren't ya... because mostly we don't jump on ya without some sort of indication that you'd be willing.
jo says: We're much more uncomfortable with rejection.
Cheater says: any way I am not trying to prove the likely hood of a woman jumping on his joke uninvited, I am merely saying that a single act of indescretion should be automatically a divorce..it is a problem to be worked through with people who truely love eachother
jo says: And I disagree...
Cheater says: that should have been should not be
jo says: A single act of indiscretion indicates that he or she has no regard for the individual.
jo says: For the person's feelings.
Cheater says: maybe they have plenty of regard for the other person but just made a mistake or slipped up
Cheater says: well anyway, I do appreciate you sharing your opionion with me.
jo says: But see that's the base of our argument... I say that there should be no slip up or mistake making because the basic premise the very original deal behind marriage is "Forasking all others"
jo says: Forsaking not forasking.
jo says: Basically you've made a promise not to fuck someone else and that promise should always be in the back of your head.
Cheater says: I am trying to get a monogram design to etch into my dads wine bottles
jo says: Hee... I notice you give up the argument... you're learning. That sounds like a nice idea, a monogram.
Cheater says: well, it was not one I thought I could change, just thought it is one I could could give people something to think about
jo says: Nope, not me on this one.
jo says: There are 2 things automatically grounds for divorce in my world... cheating & physical abuse.
jo says: Perhaps since Michelle agreed with me that's something for you to think about.
jo says: Or I agreed with Michelle...
He didn't respond to that portion... :)dumbass (I will say that while I'm tipsy and this makes me swear more, it doesn't change my views on affairs)
Added at 8:00 this morning: Upon further reflection on this conversation I should've asked that what person as an adult (not as a 21 year old kid) gets so drunk at his friend's house that he is incapable of extricating him from the situation... not that he had to drive home but get out of the situation he is in. And let's face it... if he really is THAT drunk... the johnson probably isn't going to be standing at attention any time soon.
1 comment:
Several things. First, I liked how at one point he used the word "joke" to mean "penis." Cheater, I know what you mean sometimes. Second, good job, Joanne! Third, interesting how you were drunk yet you managed to maintain your moral convictions, while the the whole basis of his argument is that drunkenness negates everything you supposedly believe in. Fourth, it seems like he wanted you to agree with him or he wanted to at least be able to get you to consider his side so that he could come back to me and say, "Joanne agrees with me." This is based on the fact that he has done this before to both of us; tried to use what one said to convince the other of something. Fifth, the IM convo I had with the cheater actually took place two weeks. I think the fact that our conversation has stayed with him so long is a sign of something. Maturity? Growth? Change? Who knows, but at least he has been thinking about it.
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