Poor little V. The last time I had back issues (pinched sciatic nerve) the doctor gave me a lovely combination of Vioxx and Skelaxin that cleared it right up. I highly recommend it.

Yes, he was over 22. He was totally hot and by the way....he screwed the hell out of me. Military, but you all aren't supposed to ask, are you? lol
Christmas was horrible. I threw my back out last night at RPlace. I spent all day on the couch in so much pain that I actually broke into tears a few times.
Joanne's creepy fish keeps following me around in the kitchen when I go in there.
Dana got a call back from Antonio Banderas so hopefully they'll meet soon.
Have fun in Cali!!!

I am weeping right now. Positively weeping. Tears running over my aged, wrinkled cheeks. We are so fucking old now.

I had taken the elevator and I thought that the guy I saw had come out of your apt... he did turn around when I knocked on your door. I'm not even going to ask tho since we had been iming for the previous 30 min at least before I went up there...
Yes, Michelle, there is a Santa Claus and gentleman caller is a fancy way of saying trick...
V, was this one at least over 22??

Is "gentleman caller" a fancy way of saying "trick"? Hee.

God bless us, everyone.

Ok, Joanne totally knocked on my door like 30 seconds after a gentleman caller left my apartment. I'm sure they passed each other in the hall.

So I just was sitting here and I totally dozed off. I was on my lunch hour so it was no big deal but there is something surreal about sitting tilted back in a chair, feet up on the computer, mouth open dozing in the middle of the work day.

So last night after watching Monster House I went to the Discovery Channel webpage to read the homeowner update... apparently she did not love the additions and Monster House offered to come in and redo whatever havok they created and turn it back to normal... such a surprising and refreshing change from another design show I watch where things like cardboard is attached to walls, yet they do nothing about it.

I am a total sap. I was watching Monster House tonight. I must say that I love this show. The host is so damn hot. Anyway, they were doing a Christmas house and built this whole miniature of the woman's village in England (she is very homesick especially around the holidays and misses her family). So they do the build and it is cool, and for the big prize for the homeowners (usually they do a flat screen tv and surround sound or a jacuzzi or something like that) he flies her mom in from England. It was so sweet, their reunion. She cried, and the mom cried, and I found myself tearing up. What a freakin sap!

Random thoughts of the moment -

Just ate left over alcoholic chicken and rice from dinner last night. Still pretty good this morning. Why alcoholic chicken you may wonder? For some reason while cooking last night I just kept adding sherry to the chicken and to the rice while the rice was steaming. Ultimately it surprised me how much I just kept pouring in. Pretty good tho, even in left over form.

I just saw this guy walking down the hall with TP stuck to his shoe. I feel a slight pang of angst that I should have said something to the guy so that he wasn't walking down the hall with TP on his shoe, but he was far enough ahead of me I would've had to shout his name and/or race up to him because probably you don't want that shouted. In any event, I just let him go which is probably the worst of the choices...

I've been reading this book, I swear forever. I will never finish it I'm starting to think. Probably I should just shut it because it is kind of getting painful to read.

Ahhh buck up! Only part of the 80's were 20 years ago... the end of the 80's was only 15 years ago. ;) oh yeah and we were like 15 then.

As Joanne not-so-nicely reminded me this weekend, the '80s were 20 years ago.

Yay! Yay! Yay! I think we really are going to go to St. Lucia for my 30th birthday. Yay!

Freaky things aren't supposed to be useful. Otherwise we'd call them necessities or needs. Freaky things just are. Like this one time, at band camp...
And no, I was NOT drinking. I actually stayed in last night and watched some tv.

Of course we think too much! You're just now figuring that out? Why would yeti care? because he talks about me periodically which would be the purpose of reading it actually. How would he find out? No way that I can think of, but one never knows. But that goes back to the whole over thinking thing. How much have you had to drink tonight? I thought you weren't drinking. One of his shirts? I wouldn't be able to fit one tit into them, there's a whole person's weight between us. And by the way, by no stretch of the imagination does me not sending anyone from my past a naked pic of me make me a Christian Missionary. To what end would this be useful to me? None!

I'm confused and on the verge of saying...'women think too much'. Looking at your post of yesterday, how the fuck would Yeti find out you were reading his weblog and why would he care? And you can't dump someone who you aren't dating. Invite over for another movie already!! Better yet, go to his place and get tired and concoct some need to sleep over. Then sheepishly say, you're not wearing any underwear, can you borrow one of his shirts. Works for me all the time.

As far as you writing about him here, all's fair in love and basketball.

And send your ex a few naked pictures of yourself!!! You're like some paranoid Christian missionary. Loosen up and do something freaky. You'd be surprised how fun it could be. Just ask Michelle.

Three things:
1- Congrats on your maiden flexcar voyage! Now you know why I can't imagine driving such an old car ever again.
2- Yay! Six days to vacay!
3- I totally agree about Paris Hilton. She looked like a skeleton on the epi tonight.
4- (Ok, one more thing.) Yay! Vacay!

Reflections upon driving post 'the incident', Flexcar and how much I hate Old Navy Commercials

SO tonight I drove for the first time since the brakes went out on beloved Ben exactly 2 weeks ago. (ONLY 2? It seems like forever ago). I didn't think this would've effected (actually I think proper it is affected but I'm not sure) me at all. I was wrong. I was sitting at these stop lights on the big hills that are between Boren and Brownies and I was having almost a mini panic attack. I kept sitting there thinking "Am I rolling back?" "I'm rolling." "The brakes are not holding." Even though the whole time I could logically see that I wasn't rolling back as the cars around me were not moving I was having tiny freak outs. The drive home was much better but I kept putting on the brakes way before I needed to thinking that they wouldn't hold or that I needed the additional stopping distance. I totally didn't.

I was having a difficult time driving the Flexcar, but not for the reasons one would think. Mostly I was having a hard time driving because the car was so easy to drive. I am not used to having an automatic, with power steering and power brakes. There was no work! :) I barely had to turn the wheel and the car turned... it was so weird. :) I picked up the car at 5:30, but was a tiny bit worried because at like 5:25 the car wasn't there yet so I kept wandering up and down the street waiting. I didn't want to like stalk the guy though so I waited until he was gone before I got in. The car opened with my little card then in the glovebox was this device for me to enter my PIN so that the car would start. Very easy system. Unfortunately, I did not need all the time I had reserved it for, but I think (although don't know for certain) that I pay for the amount of time reserved unless I go over time at which I pay for that time too. :) I didn't need as much time as I reserved either, but now I know.

Old Navy commercials. I hate them. I hate them so much that I cannot go into their stores. (of course the weird smell in most Old Navy stores help deter my desire to go in too). Add to it that I think Old Navy clothes fit weirdly all adds up to an unimpressed view of Old Navy.

That's all for tonight folks. Have a great evening and only 6 more working days until vacation. (Ok one other random thought Paris Hilton is frighteningly skinny and freaky looking!)

I've never really gotten over the thrill of getting mail. I know it is childish, but there's something affirming about mail. Fun mail that is. I still HATE getting all those damn AOL disks. So yesterday, excitement of excitement I got a check in the mail. This check is some random settlement that I know nothing really about but hot damn a check. Until I see the amount. Twenty five cents. TWENTY FIVE FUCKING CENTS! They spent more to send the checks (and probably for the lawyer to write the letter about my settlement) than we received. Not that I hugely care since it would've been random money anyway and I shouldn't complain but it strikes me as well silly... the whole thing. The other random mail I received. After hearing about them for years and years, I finally received the email about the guy from some African bank where if I give him this info, I can get 20% of 15 million dollars. I'm all over that one... :)

Here's some oldness for you....
My team at work had a training in time management. During that training we talked about the Franklin Planner system. We all got high on glue fumes or something and thought it would totally help us manage our time at work if we had Franklin Planners. So we expensed some. Now, since I am the only who has used one before, I had to give a little talk about tips and tricks to using the Franklin Planner system. So, I got out my old planner, which is HUGE, that I used for like five years before Palm Pilots got to be so popular. I miss that thing. I brought it out of cold storage so that I could illustrate the differences between then and now. I also could have done that by showing a picture of a drunk, slutty me dating back to the same era as the giant Franklin Planner.
This is how it makes me old:
1- I just told a long, boring story thinking it might be interesting to other people.
2- I long for a time when I had to write everything on paper (with cute colored pens) instead of just using Outlook.
3- I never really took to the Palm Pilot and much prefer my paper-based planner. In fact, I am reverting to paper-based and selling my Palm clones on eBay.
4- I am bundled up in a sweater, complaining about the cold and random pains in my body.

1. Good to know. :)
2. I do too, but that's a grown up thing... I didn't think kids past a certain age watched it...
3. That's true and that's the rationalization I keep using.
4. As far as I'm concerned he'll NEVER know I read it... (you know unless he reads mine. ;) )
5. Spareroom is what we always called the crap rooms (crap rooms because that's where all the crap ended up eventually) that we had in our house growing up. To me guest room sounds like it should be all decorated and have a nice Laura Ashley comforter on the bed and be a guest room. Second bedroom just sounds weird. It could be regional. Who knows.
6. I look forward to random weird postcards. Too bad you didn't find your murder/suicide one. :)

Comments:
1. I do not believe I sent him a link to the peeves list.
2. I watch Spongebob Squarepants.
3. I don't think the fact that you read the yeti's weblog is bad. It is out there on the www for anyone and their demented friends to find.
4. The fact that you didn't tell him immediately that you found his blog may cause some strain if he finds out, but I don't think that would be the end of things. Take it from a secret-keeper.
5. I must be getting old to have accumulated this much crap since college. Granted, some of this is from college, but that stuff is mostly pictures and letters. I have no idea where this other random crap originated.
6. Number 5 is in reference to cleaning out the spare bedroom.
7. Is "spare bedroom" a common term or do most people say "guest room" or "second bedroom"? I wonder if it is a regional thing.
8. If you start getting weird postcards from me, it is only because I found a shitload of them on my desk, which is, you guessed it, in the spare bedroom. Is it really an office then?

Lately I haven't felt like expounding too much about my life. Suddenly I feel that when I post about the yeti it is some sort of not betrayal but that I shouldn't do it... It isn't right. Of course it helps that the two people who actually read this I have already usually recapped info with anyway so there is that. :) Add to that my unhealthy compulsive need to read his weblog where I have discovered I haven't been mentioned since before Thanksgiving (to be fair there have only been 2 posts since Thanksgiving both somewhat cryptic and odd). Compounding my mentalness is the thought that if he were actually to discover I have read his weblog, it would probably be over between us... and that (at this point) would make me sad.

There is something to expound upon. I heard from an old... hmmm (random extra thought, my 'm' key keeps having issues) we'll go with friend because I can't exactly define what he was to me today. (random additional thought what is esperanto?) His first request - send him a naked pic. AS IF! He has also sent me a fabulous piece on how to give good head. Apparently this is something I need to learn. (Not disagreeing at all but I didn't know that this was something I could learn by reading... i kinda figured it was like riding a bike and i may fall off the first 4 times but once I got the hang of it it would't be too bad... Add to it my vague notion that the yeti is probably less experienced how would he know if I was good or not? ;) Apparently though I should've let this guy teach me the proper methods when I had the chance. Michelle and I discussed this guy today and we have found (god I hope you haven't forwarded him the link to this or to Peeves and Botherations which has a link to this) :) that he hasn't changed a bit in who knows how many years. The conversation we had was amazingly similar to ones we had something like 7 to 8 years ago. How can a person not grow at all in 7 years? 10 years? I think back to who I was then and now and can't fathom being that person still. I mean on some level the basic core is still the same. I still volunteer and suffer from self induced post catholic guilt for stupid reasons... but I'm SO not the same as I was then. ( I believe final random thought this show Two and a Half Men is quite funny - do 10 year olds still watch Spongebob Squarepants??). Maybe that's the whole point of 30 angst... realizing how far you've come (and quite possibly how far there is to go)

Not 30 angst.... I got this at the door of a bar I went to this past weekend (yes, I do occasionally still go to bars, although my husband did say that I am not allowed to be slutty in bars like I was in my early twenties, as opposed to now, which is my late twenties): "And how old are you, young lady?" The guy even had the decency to look shocked when I said 29. I think he thought I was a friend of my stepsister, with whom we walked in, and she is only 21. The end.

That's a sure sign of addiction... Is there a 12 step group that can help us out do you think? "Hello. My name is Joanne and I'm addicted to cable. I knew I hit rock bottom when I was watching That 70's Show through mostly snow but I could hear the voices fairly well." I am so bitter at you just so you know... that you have free cable and that even when it broke it became free again... who you blowing to get this?? ;)

Ok, so I know what Joanne means about not having cable. This morning at 10:17am while watching the Golden Girls, my cable went out. I was in a panic! I had a flash of what life would be like without cable and it looked bleak. I had a mild panic attack, but resolved to go get dressed and head to work (even though Fridays are my days off). Going to work would take my mind off of not having tv. I went to work confident that by the time I got home, the cable would be back on.

Once I got home at 2pm, I sat down and was afraid to turn on the tv in the fear that the cable hadn't yet ( or worse, would never) be turned back on. ME! Afraid to turn on the tv. I didn't want to see the blue screen that would meant 'no cable'. I figured, if I turned on the tv, the sound would be audible before the picture actually showed up. I hit the power button and I was never so happy to hear a commercial like I was at that moment. My life was restored to normalcy and all was right with the world.

I'm going to the gym now and then I'm going to grab a book and take a ferry ride.

Thank God it's Friday!

So I've watched enough infomercials to wonder who is so stupid that product is necessary? Case in point... that spaghetti pot with the lid that locks on so that you can drain the spaghetti without spilling it and making a big mess. Apparently, I am that stupid. :) As I was pouring out the water on my macaroni a few minutes ago, I dumped about 1/2 of it into the sink and on the floor. Lucikily I had made too much to begin with so it wasn't a huge loss, but still, what am I five??

So I woke up this morning with a terrible 80's song in my head. The worst part? I don't know all the words. I ony know a tiny part of the chorus and it keeps rerunning through my head like there's a skip on the record. The song? Don't know the title either but it goes like this "We don't have to take our clothes off, to have a good time no way. We don't have to wah wah something and drink some cherry wine uh huh?" Blech.

Oh dear... I never wanted to face this day. :) So I just went to the Havana Nights website, yikes. I guess on the one hand I'm glad it is a completely remade story. Originally when the discussion was happening about Dirty Dancing, they were going to make it more of a sequel with Baby's kids and (or) Johnny Castle's kids or maybe they were the same kids... who knows... www.dirtydancinghavananights.com is the site in case you are actually THAT interested.

Even though we say, "Oh, I'm so old," we secretly, in the back of our minds, think, "Ok, I am not really that old." My friends, I am sorry to say that we really are that old. Here is the proof:

They are starting to remake movies that came out when we were adolescents.

1987: Can't Buy Me Love
2003: Love Don't Cost a Thing

1987: Dirty Dancing
2004: Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights

It is a sad day indeed.

Hahahaha! I think what Michelle was pointing out was that she has successfully ensnared a man for the long haul as opposed to just for last night. :) Rich isn't a nice, sweet, non-flakey gay boy?? What is he then, because he sure as hell isn't a mean, jackassy, completely flakey gay boy... Have fun at scaryoke tonight! I'll be thinking of you as I ride the bus (yes the bus) back and forth to my brownie meeting tonight...

No more drunken posts for me. So I hit on Cobie, but it just dawned on me now that the alcoholic haze is gone, that he turned me down. Then there was Page, who made out with me while I was trying to sing Karaoke. Page is too short for me though. Then there was this other guy who kept biting me and I told him to stop, but he didn't. So I walked away from him. I hate it when men don't obey.
Dana showed up and I hung out with him and Wade and Rich for a bit. I told Rich that we thought he was a nice, sweet, non-flakey gay boy. He smiled and then politely denied it.
Last night was a fun karaoke night. I think I'll try it again.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
My stuff is good! My cookies keep the men in this city talking. In fact! Tonight, I was hitting on (and very successfully, I might add) the hottest country karaoke singer in the city, Cobie.
Oh well, don't take advice from me. It's a full moon and I don't know what I'm talking about.
Damn, I drunk.

Is it really 1:55am?!

V, your logic is flawed. Since I DO have a man, Joanne is better off taking advice from me than from you, since you DON'T have a man. I obviously know how to not only get one but KEEP one as well. And it ain't my cookies that did it.

Actually, I should clarify... neither one of you said stop seeing him. I just figured at 7:00 the other morning (when I wrote that note but not when I actually posted it because blogger was down) that you both would say that. :) We'll see what happens.

My advice was never to stop seeing Ray. Keep it going! How many chances do you get? You might loose your man fucking around with Michelle's advice. What does she know? She's already got her man. You get cookie recipes from her, not love advice. That's my department.
I say, invite him to RPlace to play darts on a night when I'm not there! Wednesday night for instance. I have a christmas party to go to at the Ocennaire. Dammit...that means I'll need a date.
I could ask the 23yo UW student I've talking to...

OH happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy joy! My blessed cable has been returned to me. As god is my witness, I shall never go cableless again!

I almost forgot the best part... his family liked me. Oh good god what has happened to me?? ;)

Houston, we have a problem. I’m smitten, the smittenest smit that ever did smitten. So we went to the Festival of Lights. I am not 100% sure it was worth the 6.00 entry fee I paid, but whatever. It was a lot of fun. They had done all the displays on the main walkway and had this awesome one of a boat battle in which one sinks the other. Out on the field they had these big baseball players which was kind of fun. It was just cool. It was also cold so hands were in pockets the whole time. We did discuss you, Vlad, and I confessed that I’m not ready for him to meet you yet. Although later when we were at his apartment he was saying that he didn’t know how to dance (rumour has it that’s a bad sign… ;) ) and I assured him you could teach him. After we left the park, we went to Jillian’s for food and pool. There were a number of company parties going on. We both had hamburgers. They weren’t great. But we did get to play a couple of games of pool. Which were just funny as hell since he was trying to comply with my "let the girl win" rule. I am apparently much worse at pool than I ever thought possible. And then we played darts! I have NEVER played with real metal tips before and I find it slightly alarming that this BAR had metal tips on their darts. It isn’t nearly as fun as the type we play, v, because (hey where did this gnat come from?) we had to keep score so mostly we didn’t. There were a couple of times when we were exchanging darts (didn’t have enough for both of us so we were sharing) where I thought oh my god I want to jump on him right now. I don’t know where those thoughts came from… ;) So while we were playing darts this asshat lights up a cigarette right underneath the “Non Smoking Area” sign. We took that as our cue to leave. And we went back to his place and he made me hot cocoa. Let me just stress this was not your usual add chocolate syrup to the milk in the microwave routine. This was serious cocoa preparation involving many steps. It was amazingly good. We sat and talked for a long time and he showed me some of his pics from when he was younger. Then we sat at the computer for an even longer time and he showed me some more pics… it was very cool. Then at 3 AM he took me home and that’s all she wrote (since there is nothing new on THAT front to tell). I can already hear you both saying, stop seeing him, but I am going to continue and suffer the anticipation because the more I hang out with him, the more I like him… Hence I’m the smittenest smit that ever did smitten.

On a wholly unrelated note, cable asshats have not turned the cable back on yet (or maybe I have this teeny tiny cord that actually WAS doing something) in any case, no cable yet… AND my volunteering at the Paramount tonight was cancelled so I have nothing to do this evening.

I know I know but I fear your Guatamalaness... And I like this boy, I didn't want you to scare him off. I know how you can be. :)

For 20 pts I can tell not only what movie but who said it... It was Hank Azaria in the role of the house boy Agador (probably misspelled) in the remake of La Cage aux Folles - The Birdcage starring Nathan Lane and Robin Williams. Which also featured Christine Baranski, Calista Flockhart, Gene Hackman and I want to say Diane Keaton, but I might be wrong on that one. I have no idea who played the hottie son... :)

I have to do laundry tonight. I have to clean and do dishes. Damn those men! We'll definitely have to get good books and take that ferry ride. Let's take the ferry to Monserrat. I want to go to Monserrat. hmmm... I wonder how long this "dry" weekend will last. ;)

Now, if you had let me meet him AGES ago, I could have figured out his issues for you. Or at least made him feel the need to confess something. I'm good at making men squirm. They're afraid of Guatamalaness. 10 points if you know what movie that's from!
Anyway, OH MY GOD! It's only 1 fucking pm!!!! I hate work. Tonight, I refuse to drink. This whole weekend is going to be a dry weekend. I have had alcohol everyday for the past 3 weeks. This isn't good. Besides, I need to do laundry and dishes. I hate doing the old "I'll wear what doesn't stink the most" thing like I did in college.
Field of Lights, eh? Joanne, take the digital camera and get pictures of you two!!! Or better yet, let me come and I'll take them. I didn't realize he cut out the part about dinner and only pasted the FOL's part. Down with men! Let's cast spells this weekend...Once I've cleaned my apartment that is! Oh! and let's get a good book and take a ferry ride!

I don't recommend it. I have never been with a virgin, but I don't think it's going to be much fun. And don't even try that "but if you love him" crap. Even if you never get around to forcing the conversation, you could always just assume that he is coming to dinner and while you are at the Christmas lights, say something like, "I made tacos for dinner, I hope you like them spicy." As in Caliente. As in Hot Mama. As in is this Friday freaking over yet. Christ.

So we're going with Noel's "Silence means consent" theory... :) Interesting.

I would've agreed with that except he specifically cut out the part of field of lights and said yes and deleted the rest of the email. I'm on the fence, but will clean like a maniac tonight to allow for the possibility. My biggest fear is something Michelle mentioned... I could handle the gay thing (although I think I've spent enough time with gay boys to pick that up)... but the big V issue... don't know if I could do it. tee hee hee do it...

I agree with V about forcing the convo and about the implicit yes.

Ask him about food allergies or something...favorite dishes, etc. Force the conversation to dinner. I think saying yes to the Field of Lights is an implication that dinner is fine, too.

I now officially hate men (but I still like sleeping with them).

Well, he replied... BUT only to one part of the email. What I had said when I invited him was could I convince him to go with me to the Safeco Field of Lights and then afterward we could do dinner at my place. And he replied to the field of lights part, but NOT the dinner part. Kinda like I did once upon a time. :}

He was a top. And a bad one at that.

I tried every imaginable combination of cords and holes and plug ins and television configurations possible and all I could get were the basic channels my tv was picking up via the antenna. Oh well. I have had the cable turned back on. It was surprisingly easy. They will not need to come into my apartment (which is all I really cared about spending a day at home to wait for the cable guy.) My rationalization - I deserve it dammit! :)

Sweetie - you aren't typically a bottom... why did you bottom tiny penis boy?

Ok, so I'm sitting at work and it suddenly dawns on me that I could just work from home for the rest of today and all day tomorrow. Then it dawns on me that working from home means watching trash tv. Suffice to say, that idea was squashed, hence, I'm still at the office.
I had a hookup this morning with a guy who had the smallest penis I've ever seen. And that's saying something since I've seen a lot of penises. I found myself faking every moan and telling him how good it felt felt. See, women aren't the only ones who fake it.

I've spent 45mins pretending to do nothing here. It's hard pretending to do nothing.

Oh, when you plugged the cable directly into your tv, did you switch it CATV mode and out of TV mode? What about antenna to Antenna or Aux?

Just as an FYI - someone hooked the cable directly into the tv to make sure that she wasn't wrong. Someone isn't as technologically unsavvy as someone else seems to think, just because she doesn't know how to network 4 computers together and run a server and do sql stuff or whatever. Someone does just fine with her technological limitations thank you very much. And you know just because someone can network together 4 computers and run a server doesn't mean that someone is qualified for cable installation. I think someone is sleeping with a cable guy who ensured his cable wouldn't be turned off.

I'm on the brink of ditching the yeti for the reasons you describe Mich... I am fearing you are correct about all of the below... However, if he would just express his concern/fear/trepidation whatever I would be hmmm... well less than fine but not all crabby about it. boys are not making me happy. :( Convent here I come! :)

What picture?! Why haven't I seen one? If he looks like a Yeti...sleep with his brother.
As for your cable, as all men know, somone isn't the most technologically savvy when it comes to things like this. I offered to come and check it out and to try to get it working, but someone decided to turn down the offer. Oh well.

At this point, I am about ready to say ditch the yeti. I am guessing that you haven't heard from him because, as dense as he is, he realizes what a "dinner at my place" date means and he isn't ready for it because he is just a young'un. And a geek. And a loser. And probably a virgin.

sigh... comcast has won. It has been 3 hours that I have been without cable and I can't cope. I must get cable back... UNLESS when I call tomorrow and confess my weakness they say that it will take 10 days and I have to be at home on installation day to let the guy in to which I will have to express my utmost and extreme displeasure and say "Heelllooo... you shut it off without me having to be at home, why do I have to be there when you turn it back on?" THAT may drive me to the basement for bunny ears. Cable... what a racket...

In other news (I really like that segue), Michelle, I think that in that pic that you showed David, Ray doesn't look like a yeti but he totally reminds me of that claymation Christmas story I think it is Santa Claus is coming to town... the one with the Bergermeister Meisterberger. In a part of it beore Santa gets old he has that total red hair/red beard thing going on. He must NEVER know these discussions have occurred... of course old ms pessimism assumes (I have had a hard time spelling that word tonight) I will never hear from him again so who knows...

I fucking give up. I'm done... nothing works anymore. So I have given up cable because it is expensive and in part because somebody assured me that the cable works for free in the building. Let me tell you, it doesn't. So now I have basic like 4 channels. I've gone from 500 to 4 (and none of them are 100% clear). I guess I'm going to field trip to the basement to fetch bunny ears. I feel that perhaps I should just break this cable addiction once and for all. I could always call comcast back and ask them just to activate the very basic cable package for about 40 bucks, plus tax, but part of me doesn't want to do that. Those bastards will probably charge me some ridiculous ativation fee or something.

Look, V, that 18yo hooker is busting her ass (literally) out there on the streets every day. She worked hard for that Yoda-looking mofo. Are you working that hard? Are you putting yourself out there like that? Maybe you and Joanne could go into business. You need the man. She needs the cash.

Ok. I'm even mocked on Trash TV. I was watching the Maury Povitch show and this 18yo beauty queen turned hooker is engaged to this 57yo 5'9" Yoda look-alike. Where's mine?!!? When do I get my man?! although, he had better not be 57yo and look like a tall Yoda.

You mean volunteering doesn't pay?

Ok so my new level of desperation has sent me to www.blockbuster.com (or something like that) where I have filled out an online application to work in one of their stores. I think of the shops in the area this would be the least yucky. I figure if I can get a part time job for a few months and bring in some extra money I could get out of this quagmire I am finding myself in. So anyay back to this application... it was 37 webpages. 37! There were a bunch of personality questions. I like to lead or follow or whatever. I'm trying to remember but a couple of the questions cracked me up. It reminds me of this time I was in McDonald's in Alaska and the McDonald's manager was interviewing a potential burger flipper and the questions were so damn serious... like "where do you see yourself going in this corporation" and "what attracted you to the McDonald corporation"... Damn... I was thinking at the time, I um want to work here because I'm 17 and need a job. Crazy... I'll keep you posted as to the excitement that is my part time job hunt.

Life sucks and then you die. That's my motto tonight. On my way to Brownies, the brakes gave out on my car. I am stranded at some school with no way to call my brownie parents and waiting for a tow truck. It was freezing. I had to pee and I wanted to cry. I do not have an overwhelming amount of extra money to get this fixed so I have to hope beyond hope that this will not cost me more than 500 bucks to repair. If it does, I'm even more screwed than originally thought. I think in Jan I have to find a 2nd job. Or start selling possessions or something. Add to it that when I finally got home, the elevator was broken so I had to climb stairs to get to my apartment. Add to that that I still haven't heard from the yeti so I'm automatically assuming the worst. Add to that I had to call all the parents who were irate because I was a no show at brownies. I'm on the brink I think... I would've gone out drinking tonight but there is NO money... :( I may have to investigate the world's oldest profession... ;)

I plan to come up for Joanne's 30th birthday weekend of revelry which she promises will be non-stop drinking from Friday to Sunday. And I want to go to that fondue restaurant.

I already slept with Elf guy and I don't think I'll be seeing him again. Hell...I don't even really remember what he looks like. We have to indoctrinate Michelle to Darts and Karaoke when she comes up to visit. That's code for, let's get drunk and throw small, pointy objects at a target while gay boys are singing in the background.
So...work is pretty boring today. I switched my routine and went to the gym in the morning, then to work. That way, I can get my drink on immediately after leaving the office.
Damn I need to do laundry.

I don't recommend a third. Not out of any sense of morality, but only because, logistically, that may be difficult to manage for you.

Ack... I am so confused! Who is the 2nd guy? Brett? He is a child... drop him... Date David... and find other interesting guys, you know who are more than just hot. :) Hee hee hee like I know what I'm talking about. Date them both at the same time. God it isn't like you're getting married or anything. Add a 3rd to the roster. That way you're never bored. Just don't add that elf guy he was too weird and elfy.

Ok, so David, this older Italian guy wants to take me to dinner and a movie this week. I really really want this guy. Should I date both of them? Drop one? Find a third guy to date to make my life more interesting?

As to my drinking and carousing about town with random boys... I plan to start that on New Year's Eve (It's a Turducken New Year's Eve!) and keep it going until my 30th birthday which will take place in a bar, a club, a pub or some other suitable drinking establishment. The random boys part may need to get cut however, due to my having a husband.

He looks like Jared Leto!! I think that was a drunk moment after hanging out with Dana and swearing that Jared Leto was gay Chris. I know they broke up. I saw it on TV so it must be true.
Now, if I can only get Tom Cruise to fall in love with me and keep Brett on the side, everything will be just fine. Brett emailed me and wants to do dinner tonight after his last class. And NO, he's not still in high school. Unfortunately, his last class gets out at 9pm tonight. He's cutting into my drinking time! Shit now!
This is going to become Joanne and Vlad's drinking and dating blog. Michelle, when are you gonna start drinking and carousing about town with random boys?
Oh, and I hate my job, but unfortunately, it lets me have a flexible schedule so I have to keep it.

You know there's nothing wrong with being the cat lady... as in "Aaaakkk our ball landed in the crazy cat lady's back yard. I'm not going to get it back you get it back... I'm not going..." When I die... When I die... What do you mean when I die? I have no intention of dying for your information. I plan on downloading my memories and brain info into a computer and living forever as a machine! :)

Gay Chris from Charmed is NOT Cameron Diaz's boyfriend of 4 years, Jared Leto. Gay Chris is Drew Fuller. Get your trivia straight! :) And furthermore... She and Jared Leto broke up. She is now allegedly dating Justin Timberlake... Keep up! :)

There are two types of people in this world: those who take life by the balls and those who own 10 cats and never take any chances. When you die, what will your last thought be? Hopefully, it won't be a regret.

By the way...Gay Chris from Charmed, is Cameron Diaz's boyfriend of 4 years, Jared Leto. How did I miss this!?!
Ok, my 21yo boy who was hitting on me online. He is BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!! We went to see Bad Santa. Two words: Bad Movie. It was a dark comedy. I thought it was good, but not great.

I am on the fence at this moment. I just got back from another date with Ray. We went to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra (I think that's who it was). They were hmmm... interesting. Kind of a rock musical christmasy thing. It had its good parts and bad parts. It was an adventure. :) We finally snuck out early. Again nothing, no hand holding, hugging nothing. I'll try the dinner thing, but after that point that may be the end. I like him and we have a good time, BUT seriously... and sorry Wend, I'm just not ballsy enough to make that move. Michelle I tried the blog thing, he didn't come clean. :|