Several of the people on The Peevery's blogroll are women or families trying to have more children using in-vitro or other seemingly invasive procedures. As I read through all their struggles I wonder what it is that drives them to such extremes. I use extremes because to me they seem like extremes but I'm sure to other people this is the route one goes through when one is trying to have a baby. Now Michelle and I both have 'views' on artificial insemination. I look at it and think there are so many kids out there who need loving permanent homes it seems selfish to spend so much money just to have a kid who has my DNA.
Thanks to the FSH of a post-menopausal woman (now you dear intenets know more about my girlie bits than my own mother does, of course she's crazy so why would I tell her that), I have been told it will be difficult if not impossible to conceive by myself. (Well it would actually impossible to conceive by MYSELF, but I suppose it would be difficult if not impossible to conceive naturally without artificial means is the proper way to say that). And I've known this for years. I've suspected it for even longer. When you have 3 periods in a year naturally, you kind of suspect something is wrong but student health insurance really doesn't investigate that too thoroughly. (And to be honest, I haven't bothered pursuing it too much either because well I'm lazy and I hate the girlie bits doctors.)
Which brings me back to the point of this whole post... What drives such a strong desire to pass on one's own DNA? Is it because I'm not currently married to a man who I love with all my heart and want to see his brown eyes replicated on a little person that I don't understand? Or is it because I was 'lucky' enough to discover this issue long before it was an issue so I've had years to come to grips? (And goodness knows, I may luck out and bang get knocked up on my first time condomless and this whole thing could be moot.)
12 comments:
I don't think getting a husband is going to change your views. It didn't for me.
What's FSH?
I have friends going through the adoption process and I think "Good for you!" We're not nearly ready to have a family yet, but Mr. Sheesh likens it to the experience of getting a puppy (weird analogy, I know, but stick with me). We have two dogs - one we got as a puppy and one we adopted when he was older. Our natural connection is stronger with the one we've had since she was a puppy since we got to see her grow and go through the trials of puppy-hood together. Is that weird? Probably. Is it the same thing? Probably not. :P
FSH = Follicle Stimulating Hormone. I don't know what it does but it is important.
Sheesh, it does make sense. The bond I had with my first 2 ferrets is much stronger than with the current 2 since I got them as kits. However, I am not ever so fond of babies so I'm inclined to adopt toddlers. That's still young enough. :)
I would have adopted had I not been so fertile. Too fertile, some may say. I never got along well with babies until mine, but I think that's true of many women. I think.
FSH sounds like something you'd need to grow hair, not get pregnant.
We like the dog we got as a two-year-old better than the one we got as a puppy. We are going to be horrible parents; we play favorites.
PM: Simple solution: Only have/get one kid.
Sadly, even adoption is ridiculously expensive. We looked at IV and were shocked by the cost. Then we looked into adoption and were so shocked that it has become such a business. That's why my dogs are so spoiled. :)
I could be ignorant on this subject, but the type of adoption I'm considering is the - oh these kids are in foster care and need forever homes type. I know that infant adoption and international adoption and private adoption are all very expensive, but I think state isn't so bad.
PM - I think all parents play favorites to some extent. I know that I was often the "good kid" when it came to grades and success, whereas my siblings are probably the favorites now because I never call my mom. We play favorites with our dogs, too, though we try really hard to not do that.
Joanne - I think some ppl are more likely to want to have their own kids because then they come pre-programmed with our own issues whereas adopted kids come pre-programmed with issues about which we know very little.
They pay you if you adopt through your county/state. Depending on your area, there may be many infants available for adoption this way, but it is likely that they were exposed to drugs during pregnancy.
Yes, but just being exposed to drugs is no guarantee that anything bad will happen. Just as being exposed to alcohol does not guarantee fetal alcohol syndrome. I realize that if/when I go this route I'm not getting the 'cream of the crop' healthy white blond haired blue eyed babies. But these kids NEED homes and it isn't their fault that their parents were shitty.
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