Friday, March 19, 2004

Dream analysis part 5

Unfortunately I can't disagree with most of Michelley's assessment. I can barely remember the last time a guy wanted me... I mean WANTED ME... not just agreeing to go out with me when I asked... I think part of my fantasy life is that I want to be the pursued... I know it isn't very feministy or whatever, but dammit, there has to be SOMEONE out there who thinks I'm at least kinda cute and would want to keep me around for a while... or thinks I'm worth working for.

I do need more female friends. That's always been a bit difficult for me. Growing up I had like 1 best friend who did everything with me... as I got a little older I had a couple of friends but really only 1 best bud... In college we had like premade friends, you know Kate and Shelley and a couple other girls and I were all in the same orientation group together and/or living together so we got to know each other. Where does one make friends when one is a grown up? (besides craigslist and that's just a bit weird) I am trying to get to know the two women I work with. I think especially one but either would be pretty cool to hang around with. I am neurotic about asking people to do stuff with me, though. Part of that whole low self esteem thing.

Actually, V is the last betrayer of everyone I know is in a relationshipitis... damn him. :) And yeah, after a while it does suck to be the token single girl despite my joy in being single mostly... I think Matt said it in one of his blogs about how it would be just nice to call someone at 3:00 am and say come over I'm feeling scared or whatever... Or to have someone to decompress about your day with... or just to lean on his chest while you watch tv (which for some reason even though I don't find David Schwimmer hot at all, I was day dreaming about his chest the other day)... damn I watch too much tv this is way too romanticky. Hee...

The only thing I disagree with is the random sex thing. I am not that person. It is too hard for me. It was nice when that guy hit on me and he came to my house and all that but afterward I didn't like that feeling. The wondering if he was going to call afterward then much later when I saw him out and he acted like he didn't know me. That sucked. AND it is much easier to go through a dry spell if you don't have one little fling in the middle of it... trust me... I KNOW! (unfortunately)

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