Saturday, June 17, 2006

Waning

Horrorscopes are never right. :) Like I really expected it to be though...

I've come to three thoughts, though this evening. (Although it is entirely possible that these thoughts are all the results of listening to music loudly until 1:00 am, but I don't think so)

Thought 1 - I've been hanging on to this vague thought that Matthew will see the light and realize he misses whatever it was that I brought to the friendship and want to talk to me again. I think that this has been encouraged by a couple of people who know us both and who have either believed it'll blow over (and are a bit surprised it hasn't) or by people who have heard my side of the story and think that he's in the wrong, so of course things will work out eventually. I've been holding on to that false hope. I need to let it go. It's time. He's made his decision and is sticking to it.

Thought 2 - My interest in the WC is waning. I'll still talk to him because, well, he comes in and chats with me. But the reality is 2 things. If he's this much of a shy guy then this could go on indefinitely. And I don't want to wait. But as we've established I don't want to set the precedent of making every move. If he had come before the Yeti, I might have, but that guy broke my will to make any moves. :) I want someone who wants me for me, not someone I've worn down. I think I've held on this long just because I haven't run into someone to crush on. I'll keep my eyes open on the new faculty coming in this fall. :P

Thought 3 - My blog used to be funnier I think. I used to drink more. I think the 2 are related. :) I'm going to have to work on making this blog funnier again. I miss being funny. :) (Although thought 3 is not an announcement that I'm going to become an alcoholic. :P )

1 comment:

Chicken said...

It is weird when you come to realizations at strange times of the day or after a big event. I've had the same experience.

It's too bad about Matthew. His loss really. I've had a friendship that sort of fizzled and it still bothers me everytime I think about it. I think time takes care of that though.