Random thoughts for a Wednesday morning

I am not feeling happy today. I don't know why. I wasn't feeling happy yesterday either. I have a lot of things to be glad about too. I'm wearing new shoes all broken in and comfy now. I have a great lunch of fried chicken and cheese. I like my job most of the time. My new boss is on vacation for the next 2 weeks. (She planned the vacay before she knew she got the job). I even just had a relatively yummy breakfast of hashbrowns and bacon. It isn't that I'm even feeling grumpy. More like apathetic... just here.

This morning I officially blocked Moral Turpitude off my MSN. Now that he's more or less over the break-up every conversation has gone back to being about sex. I almost miss the days of interesting topics, hearing about his kid, his jobs whatever, even when he was whining about how stupid he was to let that girl go. Last night, he had asked me what I was doing and I told him that I was watching The Amazing Race and he had never seen the show so I told him a little about it. Their pit stop last night (2nd episode) was in Botswana. They were sleeping on cots out under the stars. There was nothing to be seen in the distance and it was so beautiful. His response... "lame" Naively I asked why. His answer... "How will they do it?" Jackass. I just don't want to talk to him anymore. This,however, is not the cause of my not happiness though. If anything it is more like a kick to myself for taking so long.

Matty P thinks I should start being more selfish. He thinks that my karma is all backed up because I do all this good stuff so it is too much and causing a bottleneck which is why I end up with all sorts of either bad luck or no luck at all. He could be right. Perhaps the cutting off of Moral Turpitude is the 1st step to being a little selfish. I just wish I knew what the 2nd step would be.

I forgot to tell the 'my panhandler hit on me' story from last Saturday. I was walking through Freeway Park on my way to the brewfest when this guy who didn't actually look like your typical panhandler stopped me. His clothes were decent. He had a rather large backpack with him, but hell, tons of people carry backpacks. It didn't have the tell tale bedroll/sleeping bag attached. So he asks me for $.50 to get water. Strangely enough if a panhandler were to ask me for a specific amount of money for a specific product, I'm more willing to give it to them if I have it than just to the 'spare change' guy. So I dig in my pocket and I have 50 cents and I give it to him. As I'm doing that he grazes my hand and shakes it and introduces himself. I just smile and pull my hand back. And he's all "hey wait, what's your name." I smile and wave and he continues to call to me as I walk away. Wow. If I had played my cards right I could have a live in boyfriend almost immediately. :)