So far so good...

Hopefully I'm not speaking too soon.

It is day 2ish (well technically I've been here a day and a half) and we are all still alive. My sister has a new kitten. My parents (in a weird move) brought their two cats with them AZ. My sister has a dog. The cats don't exactly get along, but they're getting over it. They are all unified in their hate of the dog. (Currently Jack, the kitten, is playing with a toy under the table I'm sitting at. Sweetums, big cat, is sitting on the table and growling so hard at Jack I can feel the table vibrating through the computer.)

We're making New York Cheesecake for my mom and niece tomorrow. (Kayla's birthday was last week and my mom's is tomorrow.) We'll also make the cake balls. I got everything we needed to make them from Wal-Mart. I do not love the Wal Mart, but it was useful in this situation.

Since my sister and I have had control of the remote, I have not been subject to hours of Tru TV's "Most shocking" shows.

On Monday through Wednesday, we go to Savannah. I'm pretty excited about that. We made reservations for a haunted pub crawl and a tour in a hearse. How fun! Also, just to support my nerdishness, we're going to the Girl Scout birthplace. I will have to do some more planning to know where else to go so we don't get caught unawares.

We get back sometime Wednesday afternoon and I leave on Friday evening. Nice easy trip.

A Christmas Eve Adventure

Yesterday, I thought I was going to have a nice easy day. I had a lot I wanted to get done, but it seemed not impossible. I woke up early. I did laundry and finished up the frame for my parents. I packed my suitcase and then headed out to lunch with Stephen.

Here's where my day went completely awry. I was tossing my garbage in the dumpster when the bag kind of fell against my face. I thought I had knocked out the left lens on my glasses and I was thrilled when I hadn't. Unfortunately, I had no idea that I had knocked out the RIGHT lens. Stephen came into my parking garage to see if we could find it. He even climbed into the dumpster for me! Sadly we couldn't. I'm pretty sure it fell into the storm drain I was standing on. I called my vision place. They were closed for the holiday. I called lLens Crafters. They were open and could get me in. Unfortunately I had to have a new exam since I didn't have my prescription. (Yes I know I'm entitled to have my prescription, but since I've been going to the same place since I started work at my current employer, it isn't like I've ever needed it before.)

I went there at 2. I had plans for a 4:10 movie and I still had to go home and get my suitcase and pack my back pack. Luckily, I had good bus luck and caught the bus I wanted to catch right as it was pulling up. I managed to get myself packed and get downstairs. We JUST made it to the movie as it was starting.

I went and saw the Princess and the Frog. I liked it. I thought it was pretty good. Kind of intense, but really good.

Caught my plane at 10:15 and now I'm in FL with my sister and parents.

Not What I Expected

I volunteered for The Rockettes' Christmas Show this morning. At 9:30 this morning. I don't know what I thought the Rockettes' show would be like but it seemed weird to me. I think I mostly liked it. Maybe. It was kind of cheesy. There was singing and dancing and kicking and precision moving. I think I might have thought the Rockettes danced more than they do. I mean they dance, but a lot of their schtick is the precision work, which was very cool. The turns completely in sync and of course the kicking. It did make me wonder if there were like 2 troupes to the Rockettes... a touring one and one that stays in NYC. My friend Jen from high school used to tap dance and one of the performances they always did was the toy soldier march from the Rockettes. It was interesting to see it done by the real thing.

The thing that surprised me the most was the end. They do a big song about winter and there's singing and dancing and you think it is done, unless you work for the theater and know that the show runs 1 hr and 57 minutes and there are still about 17 minutes left. Then you think hmm... And then it starts. The religious portion of the show. I wasn't expecting this twist at all, but they did a living nativity and the whole Jesus story and all that. It was all very solemn and religious. The most interesting part, to me at least, was that they had 2 real camels and sheep and a real donkey on the stage. Who was expecting a real camel?

I have 2 more shows to do. I don't think I love it enough to sit through 2 more shows. Both shows are 9:30 am shows (we have to be there an hour and a half before showtime). They scheduled these shows very tightly... my show starts at 11 and ends at 1, the next one starts at 2 and ends at 4 and the 3rd starts at 5 and ends at 7. Since they open the doors an hour before showtime it is very close.

Sometimes

I want to stomp my feet and sulk and scream "Give me want I want Universe! I'm a good person! I deserve it dammit!" And then I remember I don't believe in that crap and life goes on. :)

A tale of insanity

Once upon a time, Michelle and I were sane, rational people who did enjoy the holiday known as Black Friday and would be up to shop at about 4 AM. We made it a point to not go to Best Buy because that place is just madness. Madness I say! This year, those sane, rational people were replaced by lunatics. This year... we braved Best Buy. Starting at 8:30 on Thanksgiving night Michelle and I were camped out at Best Buy. There were about 30 people ahead of us in line which we figured gave us pretty decent odds at getting what we were looking for. I wanted a cheap cheap laptop and Michelle had her eyes set on a netbook.

Armed with a kindle each, blankets, some snacks and my Nintendo, we braved the California cold and set up our chairs for the long winter's night. At about 11:30ish I started to doze off. I can sleep anywhere apparently. I was just at that place between awake and asleep when some jackhole drove by in his big truck and honked his big truck horn loudly. I jumped out of my chair and when the nice young man behind me asked how I was doing I assured him I was fine and went about arranging my blankets as though THAT was what I was doing.

At midnight we got cold. Really cold. Michelle went home for more blankets. She came back with what must have been every blanket in their house: 2 quilts, more afghans, jackets and mittens. Warm and toasty I know I dozed off for like 2 hours. I think she did too. I woke up at about 3 when things were starting to shuffle around. We did our shopping. Michelle got her netbook and I did not get my laptop. (That's okay my mom picked one up for me at Staples so it all worked out in the end... the advantage of tiny town life). We did the rest of our shopping and were done by around 11.

The problem with the all night Best Buy adventure reared its ugly head later. We got home about 11ish and almost immediately fell asleep. I think I slept until like 3 and was pretty much wiped out the rest of the day.

The rest of the visit was good. Michelle's kids Kay and Oh are so big. Kay cracked me up most of the weekend, however I could tell I'm totally used to living by myself because Kay would sing. And initially I was fine with it but the longer she would sing the more I would cringe. Michelle pointed out that eventually you tune it out.

Could this have BEEN a more Seattle morning?

So this morning wearing my Converse high tops and my Columbia fleece jacket I hopped into the Zipcar to take my pet to the vet. She's getting a shot that isn't necessary to extend her life but it will give her more fur. After that I stopped on an impulse at Whole Foods where I spent a ridiculous amount of money on gluten free food and I bought a reusable bag. Then I popped in to an independently owned pet store and bought Rigby a ridiculously overpriced pet sweater that I'm sure she won't wear (because I've put it on her twice and she slides right out of it). The only way I could be more a Seattleite after today would be if I were driving a Subaru and was planning on going hiking.

Another one bites the dust

Just got home and there was a sign on my door. Another apartment manager has bitten the dust. The weird poly couple is no longer our managers. I wonder if they know this or if they discovered it the same way one of the other ones did - sign on the door indicating a new manager in place. They at least lasted six months I think.

That's one way to lose weight

So when I got home on Sunday I had to lug my suitcase up 5 flights of stairs because the elevator was broken. I was unhappy with that. Yesterday morning I left and elevator was still broken (makes sense since it isn't like the repair guy came out overnight). HOWEVER yesterday evening I got home from Girl Scouts to discover the elevator was still broken. Apparently it needs a part. That part has to come from Germany. Now when the apartment managers told me that I thought wow... god this is going to take forever. Upon further reflection this morning I thought, are you kidding me? It is 2009. Fedex, UPS, and a wide variety of other shipping companies can have a part here in less than a week. This should not take forever to fix. However if the part doesn't fix the elevator then it may need a new motor. The apt manager in the next building (who is owned by the same owners that own my building) says if that's the case the prop managers (higher than apt manager on the food chain) may not get it fixed. Fuck that. Damn good thing I'm moving out. Then I thought... how on earth will movers get my bed down the stairs? It isn't like these stairs were designed to have people moving couches and whatnot up and around and over them. Christ what a pain in the ass. Also, depending on how long this goes, I may end up with a pretty nice ass. :)

Tattoo #3

I'm considering getting another tattoo. This, of course, prompts 2 questions. #1 - what and #2 where? Both are a little bit difficult for me since I have all sorts of rules about location. I am toying around with one of the two below, perhaps drawn by a far better artist than I using something better than Microsoft paint. The one is Mickey Mouse ears stylized like my dragonfly. The other is obviously a girl in a tent. I don't know. Maybe I won't.

One is the lonliest number blah blah blah.

In college our friend Shelley used to sing this song regularly. It was not the best singing possible.

I dropped Rigby off at the pet sitter's yesterday morning. I don't like being petless. Nothing curled up at my knees while I fell asleep last night. Nobody to talk to when I got home from the movies yesterday.

Go speed dater you're burnin' up the quarter mile...

Hee.

So I went speed dating with Lyday and her friend June yesterday evening. I was totally regretting it in the afternoon and contemplated backing out of it. I may still be regretting it but it has only been since last night that we all finished. (I just mean if nobody wants me and everybody hates me and maybe I should go eat worms fashion.) :)

It was fun in a weird way. (And in a 2 drinks in way but this is a straight bar so they don't pour as well as my gay bars used to) There were 9 guys and 10 girls. The host decided to sit in but he just chatted about nothing and wasn't actually an option (plus I think he might have been gay and by think I mean pretty sure). There were three Aussies, two of whom worked on the same boat and were H-O-T. Seriously one was so hmm... what's the word... engaging. He held amazing eye contact and it really seemed like you were the only person in the room at that time. All three of us loved him. The other one just seemed like he'd be really fun. ;) There were about 3 or 4 microsofties and 1 amazonian. Weirdly 2 of the microsofties were from Toronto but they didn't know each other. (I only think that's weird because they both currently worked at Microsoft and both had been there about 14 months and both were from Toronto so it almost sounded like Microsoft had acquired a business and then moved people here.)

So now I'm waiting. I said yes to a whopping 7 out of 9. None of them were too bad. (totally unlike Catholic speed dating). I might have a bit of self-esteem trouble if NOBODY says yes to me because seriously... 7 out of 9. But they were all mostly normal guys. None were overly physically hideous. It was fine. I survived. However if none say yes to me I'm never doing it again, just so you know. :)

Psychosomatic

It's a good thing I don't take birth control pills. Apparently I am incapable of taking any pill regularly. I'm supposed to take Dapsone once a day to help keep any accidental ingestion of wheat from covering me in blisters. Usually I take 4 at one time once a week. Now that I'm on antidepressants, I am supposed to take those in the AM. In the last 4 days I've remembered to take them once. That day would be this morning. This afternoon I felt rather energetic, like I could actually accomplish something after work (I did attend 2 meetings but I did not boil chicken like I thought about doing). I think it's mostly psychosomatic. Similar to when I first started taking them and I thought I felt better. According to science I couldn't but I felt like I did. Part of the problem is that I am supposed to take them with food. Do you know when I eat on the weekends? Late. Sometimes not until 3 or 4 pm. It is ridiculous I know. I blame the whole no wheat no bread thing. If I could eat sandwiches that would be much easier.

Please, Please, Please let me get what I want....

Only Morrissey understands!

I want a new job. However, I don't actually want to have to do anything to get it. I just want it. Won't someone hire me? Please? Oh wait... won't someone hire me in a state or city I might want to live in? Please?

Went to my employer's fancy party Sat night. It was fine. I didn't have as good a time as I had last year. I think Frankie Valli(y?) has more upbeat and peppy songs than Gladys Knight. I didn't recognize most of her songs.

I'm sick of job hunting. I'm going to whine about that (obviously. :) ) But I'm going to have to really step it up (ugh, every competitive reality show in the history of competitive reality shows use that phrase) to find a job. Bossman has recommitted himself to finding a new comp/ben director starting in Jan. Sigh.

In happy golucky news... I'm headed to CA on Monday to shop with Michelle. Yay! You're jeelus aren't you? I'll also get to hang out with the kiddos. I really only like the one, but the other might be gaining on her. (probably). Now that she's out of the baby burrito stage I like her more. (Or I will when I see her. Baby burritos freak me out)

Take the good take the bad....

So I think I've ensured I'll have a new job in a new city by May. I told my apartment managers I would sign a 6 month lease. Here's my logic: Right now over the holidays there typically isn't much hiring going on. So that leaves me until January for the jobs to start rolling in. I can start applying then (I'll keep applying now but the well, she is drying up). It usually takes about a month to actually get a job through the whole process. I have to give 30 days notice here. It could quite possibly be until April that I have a new job and my new 6 mo lease would run out at the end of April. In other thoughts about April... if I'm still at the U in April I will have been job hunting for an entire year. That kind of sucks. However, I don't feel too badly about myself over that. I'm in a niche job. It is a bad job market AND I'm trying to move away. All of these create a bit of a problem. If I believed in fate or karma or cosmic balance or whatever I would say "I'll get a job when the time is right blah blah blah" in reality it is more I'll get a job when I get one hopefully.

I have totally failed at the posting a blog a day. I'm also failing at writing a novel in a month. Crikey it is just FAIL! month. :) That's okay. I never finish nanowrimo and usually I can find something else I'd rather do when I'm at home, like watching SpongeBob SquarePants while sitting in my pjs.

This weekend is the big fancypants dance. I'm going to get a mani/pedi in the am and my hair cut and styled at 12:40. I'm excited for that. It is nice to be pampered a little bit. :)

Better Dress

Please ignore the bad angle and the stupid face I'm making. It is hard for me to take a picture of myself and get the dress in the photo too so I balance the camera on a stair in the stair well. But this is the newest dress. It is a steel/purple with black net overlay and sparkles! I love sparkles. This was the first dress I tried on today and I LURVE it! It is knee length and I feel like it is a younger dress than the other one.

Gala Dress

Here's what I bought for the gala next weekend. I'm not 100% sold on it the way I was with the other one. I'm going shopping for shoes today. I may look and see what's out there again. What do you think?

Please ignore the pigtails that are worn on weekends until I can get my haircut next week. I think Michelle's kid has longer pigtails than I do.

The crystal pattern only goes on the front. I think that bugs me.

Big Ups to Kate in VT

So my friend Kate in Vermont reads this semi-regularly (or maybe even regularly) so Hi Katie Girl! Glad the kiddos are good. :)

I took Rigby to the vet today. She has the Adrenal Disease. This means 100% of the ferrets I have owned have had it. Sigh. She'll now go get a 40ish dollar shot every month until she dies. Since she is 8, that could be any month now. Although since I think she might be pure evil, she'll never die. (She's not really pure evil. Baxter was pure evil. She BIT. Rigby does not bite. She just doesn't seem to like me very much. ALthough all ferrets I have owned seemed to be like that. I am getting a cat next - maybe one of those creeeeeeeepy sphinx cats that are hairless so Michelle and the kiddos and her husband can visit me - but definitely I'm getting a pet that will let me pet it and love it and squeeze it and call it George.)

I do love this episode of Friends where Phoebe gets married. If I ever get married I want to do it outside. (Ok that's just a romantic notion and reality will probably prevail and I wouldn't want my like 800 year old dad to freeze to death in the snow)

I'm making chili tomorrow night. I am weirdly excited about that. I'll make chili and corn bread. Whee!

I need to try on my fancy dress again with my industrial undergarment. I am going tomorrow to get new shoes to go with the dress and I need to figure out if I also need a new industrial undergarment and/or a slip. My back is fairly exposed in this new dress. And at least when I tried it on, the new dress was all about the static. I'm going to get my hair trimmed next Saturday before the fancy pants gala. I'm contemplating bangs. I probably won't do it though because I'll hate them approximately 15 minutes after cutting them. But it could be fun for a change.

I finally saw that Single Ladies video by Beyonce. I don't get why it was such a great video. Whatevs.

Dreaming of Suburbia

I know Stephen will disagree with this because he hates living in suburbia, but sometimes (and more and more frequently actually) I really want to live in the suburbs. I live in downtown Seattle. It is awesome that I can get to the theater, movies, restaurants, a couple malls, work and the grocery store all on foot. Don't get me wrong. I love that. Here's what I don't love:

1 -Very few restaurants deliver to my neighborhood. Several pizza places in Seattle have a Gluten-Free option. I would LOVE it if I could be like a normal person and just pick up a phone and get delivery. I could if I lived in various suburbs. There's ONE Chinese and ONE Indian restaurant that delivers to my area as far as I know. There is a couple pizza places, but they have no GF options.

2 - We have few normal stores to buy normal things. There are multiple drug stores in the area which is kind of helpful, but sometimes you need like two towels, a plate and a laundry basket. No dice around here, unless you want to spend a fortune on Macy's or similar for towels. Well maybe Ross would be an option, but is Ross ever really an option? I would love to live closer to Fred Meyer or Target.

3 - For seven years I have lived down the hill - literally - from 3 - 4 hospitals. My road is the main road ambulances go down to get to the hospitals. Sometimes I would like to not hear the wailing of the sirens all evening long. Let's not forget the ones that wail for the old folks home across the street and the 2nd one down the block.

Is back-dating cheating?

I'm trying to do the blog a day thing for a month but I have already failed! I can't help it. I was so exhausted after water aerobics that I fell asleep on the sofa at 9:45. 9:45! I only got home at 8:00. I woke up at about 11:15 and stumbled to bed and fell back asleep until this morning. When I woke up again and then laid in bed for about half an hour - 45 minutes and then fell asleep again! Seriously I'm wiped out. Damn bronchitis.

I may not have been fully up to attending water aerobics anyway. About 3/4ths of the way through class I started the deep coughing. I persevered but mostly was doing relatively easy exercises. I wanted to go because my damn foot (christ I'm an OLD person aren't I? An entire post devoted to my crappy health. Why don't I start bitching about where my cane is and those damn kids on my lawn next?) has been bugging me.

There are no lamps in Seattle

Ok. There are. But there are none that I'm looking for. And it isn't like I'm looking for anything special or fancy. I need a lamp that will clip to my headboard because my current one died. Admittedly I haven't field tripped to Target or Fred Meyer yet because it only died Monday evening and I haven't had the chance to go to the burbs. But Ross, 2 different drug stores, the bookstore at my employer (who did have other lamps but none that clipped to things and since I work for a college with dorms shouldn't they have clip lamps? I'm 100% sure that's where I bought this one) and Bed Bath and Beyond didn't have them. How could Bed Bath and Beyond not have clip lamps? I don't get it. I was going to try Office Depot but they were already closed by the time I got there. Saturday I have to take Rig to the vet. I shall endeavor to find a Fred Meyer or Target at about the same time.

V did not disappoint

I really liked it! It was a great update of the original. I love how they have such kick-ass women in the series. With the original the leader of both the resistence and the visitors were women. In this one, same thing... That's just awesome!

The chick who plays Anna... gorgeous. Seriously. And yet seriously creepy at the same time. I'll be sad if it gets cancelled. ABC is not the greatest channel for holding onto shows, but maybe they'll hold onto this one.

Time to buy a new lamp

I don't know what it is I do to them, but I've broken another bedside lamp. This is the 2nd one in 7 years. It just stopped working yesterday... no warning. I know it isn't the bulb because it is a brand new flourescent bulb inside. So I headed down to the bookstore to buy a new one. This is where I got the current lamp. They are no longer carrying them. What? Don't kids in dorm rooms need bedside lamps? Apparently not. On the way home I went into my local drug store. I find it weird that I can find so many things that are not drug store products there. I'm not sure which annoys me worse... the weird shit I can buy there or when I can't find some weird thing. For example, I could buy a new cell phone, a bunch of packages of ramen, a screw driver, or even a Snuggie, but I couldn't buy a new clip on lamp. I'll have to head to Fred Meyer or Target this weekend to replace it. Grr.

Now that day light savings time is over, it is so freakin' dark at 5:00 pm. I find I can't walk home and read anymore because it is too dark. I did solve this problem. It is probably extremely geeky of me the way I did it... I bought a book light. So now I hook the book light to the kindle and I can read as I walk again. :)

I'm so excited about the new series V tonight. I hope beyond hope it is good and it doesn't get cancelled.

Cracked me up

I had to call Comcast today to ask a question. I had a voicemail that I needed to order some special digital add on to keep my cable working. I thought I had digital cable so why would I need this special add on. Turns out I don't. I do have digital cable and so the phone message was just stupid. BUT the part that cracked me up was one of the options on the IVR. As I'm listening it says "If you are in the Spokane area and your cable is stuck on CSPAN please press 7." I wonder how many people have been stuck for hours watching CSPAN.

Unrelated, I cleaned out my freezer over the weekend. There was a HUGE shelf of ice off the ceiling of the freezer (top?). I threw away a trash bag full of food from the fridge and the freezer. Today on my way home from work I stopped at the grocery store to restock. There's so much space in the freezer I don't even know how to cope. Now to hope it doesn't all get freezerburn in the next 2 days. Sigh.

Party People!

It's been a LONG time since I've been to a Halloween party. Back when V and I were still friends we went out to a bar one night in costume, but in general I'm fairly anti-Halloween. I do LOVE to give out candy to kids and all that, but I don't live in a house and even the last time I did, there weren't a lot of trick or treaters coming around which was a bigass bummer to me.

So Lyday is seeing a vegan. Let's all pause to consider the inconceivability of that... lyday is like me in that she eats meat and not so many of those things called vegetables. And she tends to be less adventurous in her food than I am and who really knew that was possible? (Although she has now eaten tofu and fake something else and she didn't hate them so more power to her, but in my defense fake meat tends to have wheat in it so I can't have it). Vegan had a Halloween party which we attended. I chatted with several guys there. One was a vegetarian, one was not, one was a vegan. The omnivore I met when I noticed he took some chocolate from the bowl for the trick or treaters. I joked that clearly he isn't a vegan. (Vegans can't eat commercial chocolate... milk you know. Vegans are weird). Clearly I had been drinking because honestly, I can't really talk to men otherwise. OMG! I'm like Raj on Big Bang Theory. (Not quite that bad, but I'm fairly anti-social. I know this.) (Also if that's not a sign I'm turning into a hermit, I don't know what is). Anyway, it wasn't bad. It could've been better. It could've been worse. I'm not too sad I went. :)

No Pigflu Here

Well the good news is that I don't have swine flu. I think it was realtively unlikely that I did anyway, but I don't. I do have acute bronchitis. Sigh. Last week when they checked my blood oxygen levels it was only 95%. This week... 93%. Apparently that is bad. So we did another albuterol treatment and she gave me more drugs. Whee drugs. But since I'm allergic to hydrocodone, no good cough drugs. Sad for me. Just predinsone which I'm not a huge fan of, but only for 5 days. According to Webmd, it should take 2 - 3 weeks to clear up. Sigh. Although apparently the hoops I get are strictly for those with asthma history. If that's the case, I can't imagine being a non-asthmatic and having bronchitis. Nothing was helping me at all. It is just too much!

Michelle's husband got laid off. This presents an interesting change in our plans. He may take a new job somewhere else and then I would move there. I guess. I think in reality I have to figure out what my real end game is. I think I really want to live near Michelle. I miss hanging out with her. I miss hanging out with her kids. I may even miss hanging out with her husband, even though he's a Republican. (Michelle is too, it is a flaw I have to overlook. :P ) Michelle knows me. And there's something comforting in that. So, I suppose if hubby gets a job in Dallas that's where I'll head. Maybe it will make my job hunting a little easier... to have a end place already in mind (as opposed to a vague list). I could live in a place that lets me have a dog. This dog on tonight's episode of Monk is so freaking cute! I wonder what kind it is.

Happy Fucking Monday

This whiney post brought to you by the letters I and K and the number 4.

• I'm still ridiculously sick. (No fever though!)
• Due to aforementioned sickness I slept very very very poorly.
• It is pouring rain outside.
• Due to aforementioned rain my pants are soaked and sticking to my legs.
• I have a shitton of work to do this week.

Dead Sexy

I made the mistake of looking in the mirror a few minutes ago. My hair is oily and sticking out at odd angles. Bags under my eyes. Rough red nose. Ratty green Jawbone Hill t-shirt on. There's little hotter than me with a cold.

Momentary Update

I'll write up my Vegas trip later once I've pulled my pics off my camera. I haven't felt well enough to do that since I've gotten back on Monday.

So Sunday I started wheezing. WHEEZING. Monday - Wheezing. Tuesday - Wheezing and doubling over coughing. Wednesday - Wheezing, Doubling Over coughing and unable to sleep except sitting upright. Thursday - I go to the doctor. I have a slight (99.9) fever and they do an albuteral treatment on me. I both love and hate those. I love them because the wheezing... gone. I hate them because the wheezing is gone but now my entire body is trembling from the adrenaline. It eventually calms down. Apparently whatever is causing this cough is something the dr. has seen before. It may or may not be H1N1. Probably it isn't. (That's reassuring isn't it?) If it is, though, I'll have severe respritory problems in the next few days and then I have to go back immediately when that happens. I'll keep my eye right on that.

I think it is probably wheezing from the smoke in the Vegas casinos and now a cold. (I hope.) :)

Could be a bad luck sign...

So I left work early today and hopped on multiple buses and the light rail to catch a 5:45 flight to Vegas to join my sister. At 5:30 pm I found myself walking back out to the buses to come back into Seattle.

Since I fly stand by non-rev, basically anybody gets on before I do. I was waiting and waiting and waiting and finally it seemed like everyone was on who was supposed to be on. I'm going to barely make it I thought and then he came... Professional looking dude in suit and tie. I think he was supposed to be on the delayed Phoenix flight and managed to get changed over to the Vegas flight. Seriously I'm pretty sure they were about to print my ticket and he took it. I could have cried.

So the question is... do I even bother gambling in Vegas because obviously there's no luck with me these days, OR do I gamble in Vegas because after that bad luck I should be due some good luck? :)

(I don't really believe in any karmic luck. Things happen irrespective of other things. But it is sometimes fun to pretend. Also Good Luck Care Bear is going in my purse. :) )

How are Eminem and I alike?

We cleaned out our closets. :) However, as a result, I am now completely sneezy and wheezy from all the dust I kicked up. The left half of my closet hasn't seen the rustle of hangers in years. Almost everything on that side went out. A couple of coats stayed because, well they only got stuffed on that side because the right side was full and I still do actually wear them. A few old sweatshirts and shirts stayed because I find I can't get rid of anything Disney or former employer swag. I should I know. I was dismayed to find a dress and a pajama top I used to wear completely singed from the heat pipe that is in my closet. In the end I have 2 boxes for charity... one a "Large" moving box and one a "Medium" moving box. I also bagged up one of those black trash bags full of torn jeans, stained shirts and other assorted unwearable crap. Next step... the wire rack I put things like panties and socks on/in. I also boxed up all my volunteer t-shirts so I can have them together to make my volunteer t-shirt quilt.

Can someone explain to me what I was thinking when I bought a pair of black shiny pants? (I'm pretty sure Michelle was with me when I bought them and I'm pretty sure I had a theory about them. I've never worn them). If I had been thinking, I would have photographed some of the various dregs from the back of my closet and regaled you with tales of my fashion insanity. Sadly, I didn't think of it and those boxes are now sealed.

I wonder if those space bags work? That could help with this process.

She IS mean and spiteful!

So over the weekend I bought a new mattress cover. Holy crap, it is making my bed so soft and comfy. And I put on a nice new clean set of sheets. Holy crap is my bed so soft, comfy and cozy. Prior to making my bed, I sprayed the memory foam thingie with air freshener to get rid of any pet smell (theoretically). This morning when I went to hop in the shower, Rig was out but earlier she hadn't been able to climb onto the bed. I carefully put the puppy pad down on 'her' poop spot despite the fact that she hadn't been able to climb on the bed. I wasn't taking any chances.

Bitch peed in a totally new spot. I don't know how she managed to get onto the bed. It is on.

Who moved my what?

My boss is making me read Who Moved My Cheese? I read it whilst walking to work this morning. It is a parable about change in the work place and how to meet it. The funny part... I'm totally changing in the workplace... I'm changing MY workplace. And yes I was scared at first (and still am sometimes) but seriously I'm scurrying about looking for a new place to get my cheese. So take that bossman.

Also I just read Broken For You. Excellent. I had been eyeing it at the used bookstore for sometime, but for some reason couldn't bring myself to actually buy it. Over the summer when I went to the big ass used book sale, I picked it up. I thought it was really well written. Since I appreciate the concept of building your own family I liked that theme of the story. I also really liked how the MCs were pushing outside their comfort zone to make a life they wanted. All in all a really positive book.

I downloaded Patrick Swayze's book Time of My Life for the Kindle. This was another book I really enjoyed. I really love reading about the back story on movies and how they come to be the way they are. Patrick's love story for his wife was also really touching.

On Saturday I went and saw Couples Retreat. Critics seem to hate it, but I found it hysterical. I can see some of their point... is this a raunchy comedy or a touching one, but why can't it be both? I only had trouble with one thing and that was with the Vince Vaughn's character's job. I know what a dumb thing, right? But in the beginning he seems to indicate he does something with video games and based on working 10 - 12 hour days I automatically presumed that meant development. Later in the movie he says something that implies something entirely different. I may have to rewatch to figure it out. :) Also, this was not one of those movies where they show all the funny parts in the previews. There was plenty of funny all through the movie.

Spiteful

I've been a bit worried about Rigby lately. She's old. If she was the same age as Tess as the shelter thought, she's now 8. Eight is old for a ferret. Very old. She's begun doing that thing Tess did just before she died... pooping on my bed. This is obviously not my favorite thing ever and this time, unlike with Tess where clearly I was an idiot, I have it figured out... I put down a puppy pad on the bed where Rigby always goes and so then I don't have to change the sheets every fucking day. This worked for a few days. Until today. The bitch pushed the pad off the bed and then went on the bed. I'm starting to think that Rig is not in a death spiral as Tess was, but is actually spiteful and mean.

I could cage her. I probably should cage her, but she's been allowed to roam free in the apartment for so long I feel badly putting her into the cage while I'm at work all day.

Harvey Weinstein makes my boycott hard

Well it isn't a boycott if it is easy, right? Since Harvey seems to slap his name on anything that comes out of his production studio, technically he probably hasn't touched any of these films, however I'm about not lining his pockets, so boycott on. Thanks to IMDB I know now that I will not be seeing Fraggle Rock, the Movie, Untitled Kevin Smith project, Capitalism, A love Story (I was on the fence about that one anyway since I find Michael what'shisname to be a blowhard), The Reader (which I did want to see since I read the book).

Thanks to Buck Henry, a writer, I will not be seeing Get Smart or Get Smart 2. Probably no loss there, but I did kind of want to see Get Smart.

And thanks to Kristie Alley, I will be seeing Nailed, no matter how terrible it is because she is one of the few who has vocally come out condemning Polanski and his supporters.

Boycotting

I've been thinking about this since I heard about the petition signed by many of Hollywood's elite to free Roman Polanski. I'm going to boycott those who signed it. Mostly this will be a fairly easy boycott for me. Jonathan Demme has never made a chick flick. Martin Scorsese isn't known for his rom-coms. And I always have hated Woody Allen films. However since Alfonson Cuaron has signed it I will be getting rid of my Harry Potter 3 DVD. Also, I may have wanted to watch G-Force, but Penelope Cruz also signed so that's a no go. I think IMDB and I are about to become BFFs.

Giving away old friends

Michelle introduced me to bookmooch.com. Obviously I love books. I read all the time. I read probably 2 books a week. I was about to post about how sad it is to me to get rid of books I have loved when I just realized I'm not getting rid of books I have loved. So far I've posted 11 books. Either I didn't like the book to begin with or it was rather unmemorable. Curtis Sittenfeld's Guy Not Taken... I was 2/3rds of the way through it when I realized I had already read it. Jodi Picoult... I went through a phase where I loved her stuff. Now I find I read the first few chapters and then the last few chapters and get everything I need from the story. I was thinking of packing up the books I want to move with tonight, but I just realized I only have middle sized boxes and filling that full of books would be so heavy I wouldn't be able to move the box.

On Monday night I like How I Met Your Mother and Big Bang Theory on CBS. Unfortunately one is on at 8 and the other at 9:30. In between those two, craptastic shows I don't like. I wish there was something good in the middle. Tonight I'm watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall for about the millionth time. Movie cracks my shit up. It is currently my go to movie for boredom (as opposed to my go to movie for sadness, Mama Mia)

A conundrum

I've been an atheist for a very long time, well over 1/2 my life. Growing up as a family we usually supported The Salvation Army. We donated our goods to them. We would shop in their store. We dumped change in the buckets at Christmas. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized that they are a religious organization. And, based on their position statements on their website they are a religious organization that doesn't support the things I do. If I were voting, I wouldn't vote for them.

There are a couple of places local that I could donate to. I'm not really that fond of either of their stores. I find them kind of icky. They do good work, though, so I'm just being shallow.

So do I donate to the charity my family has always supported but whose values aren't mine or do I break out and start giving to some place new? (Of course, who am I kidding... I'll end up donating to the place that is open on the weekend since I'm not taking a day off to donate crap.)

the rain rain rain comes down down down

While walking home it started raining. Then it rained harder. Then it hailed. Hail hurts. But the dumbest part of this not very entertaining tale is what I did when I got home. I pulled off my shirt because it was soaked and then I could hear the rain dripping in my bedroom window so I went over and opened the blind to close the window. Opened the blind. No shirt on. Bedroom window faces living rooms that are so close I could watch TV with the neighbors if I wanted to. Awesome albiet very brief show I just gave the guy next door.

Experimental Cooking

I love it when the cooking I do actually turns out results that are edible instead of gross.

Lyday and I got lost Friday night looking for Wal-Mart out in Lakewood, but we found Fred Meyer instead. Oh how I love Fred Meyer. They had a muffin mix that I have been looking for so last night after going to the movies I stopped up at my grocery store. I picked up some raspberries, blood oranges and raspberry yoghurt. The instructions for the muffins say just add 2 cups water, 1/3rd cup oil and 1 1/4 cup sugar. Instead I mashed the raspberries with sugar and then squeezed 2 blood oranges into the mix. Added the yoghurt and then mixed in the dry mix and more sugar. I wasn't really sure how it was going to work out. After that I tossed in some mini-chocolate chips. Was that too much? Turns out, nope. :) They were really good. I'm excited. That'll be breakfast the rest of the week.

For dinner I had planned on simple pork fried rice. I browned the pork in chili oil with some garlic and ginger. I threw in a little sweet/spicy sauce and thought I was good. Until I discovered I was out of soy sauce. How can you make pork fried rice with no soy sauce? So I poked around the fridge and decided to make it an asian bbq kind of sauce and I tossed in some honey bbq sauce and a little worschester sauce. (then I found the soy sauce in the fridge which is not where it goes.) So then I tossed some soy sauce in too and it turned out pretty darn good. Who knew?

I went to see the movie Whip It last night. It was the preview before the movie actually starts next week. I really liked. I thought it was cute and fun. I really liked all the characters and thought it was well cast. I believe, although I could be wrong, the ladies in the audience who were there from our own roller derby thought it was pretty good too. I have a better concept of roller derby now, although I still don't know what the slapping the waist is about. :)

Now with 50% more Carol Brady hair

I looked in a window and saw my reflection as I was walking somewhere yesterday and realized I had Carol Brady hair... but only on one side. I don't have the bangs across the forehead, and the length on the sides is a bit longer, but that flip in the back... totally there. Only on my right hand side though. I can't wait until this weird length phase is over for my hair. I may do something drastic if it doesn't improve soon. (Also it is too short to tie up, but long enough to hang on my neck so it gets hot!)

Terrified

(Look 3 posts in one day, somebody is feeling better! Ooh and look there'll probably be a 4th post forthcoming too)

Tuesdays interview went really well I think. I could be shooting myself in the foot, who knows, but the person who would be my manager liked what I had to say. I answered the questions well and when I was done I thought, wow I really do know my shit. Look at that. :) It was a good feeling.

The terror... what if I actually get this job? What if I actually have to make a decision? What if I actually have to move?!?!?! I've been talking about it for 5 months, but talking doesn't mean doing. It doesn't mean something is actually happening. I'm not sure I can wrap my head around it all. Maybe a little teeny tiny part of me hopes I don't get the job so I can continue the status quo. Status quo is easy. I like status quo. If I get offered it I will have to weigh it carefully. Portland is not on the 'approved list' so if I wanted to live near Michelle I'd have to move again in a couple of years. But I might be in a better position fiscally to do that (and probably career wise... I wasn't kidding when I told one of the people I was interviewing with that Universities are where employees go to die. We have staff who have worked here 15, 20 even 30 years!) So we'll have to wait and see... (I'll take it, I think... I'm pretty sure... I don't know!)

If I don't get this job, I'm going to take a break from searching for awhile. My boss isn't going to move on with the hiring of a new boss for me. He doesn't think he'll be able to do it so he is going to hire another generalist instead. (I don't know this, one of his favorites told me). Since no changes will be happening I'll get my employee through this year's open enrollment and then begin looking again in November. I do feel badly if I were to leave in the middle of open enrollment. It is a lot of work and it won't fall to my boss... it will fall to the rest of the team and that would suck for them. When I first started this process I had hoped I'd be gone by now. Sigh. Why is being a grown up so hard?

So Innocent

I was watching a couple of episodes of Friends last night and I was kind of shocked at how 'innocent' Chandler was. It was the episode with Julia Roberts and he was:
a - Scandalized about wearing her panites
b - Tongue tied about having relations in a public place
c - When she asked him to wear her panties, he couldn't figure out what she'd be wearing.

It was kind of refreshing and yet at the same time a little bit sad that I consider that innocent. If I watched Gossip Girl or 90120, those kids are probably having sex in the glass elevator in the mall with some guy videoing it and posting it on youtube.

Told You So

One of the things my boss is unhappy with me about is that I'm not innovative in ways to curb medical costs and plan design. The thing is, and I told him this, we have tried several times over the years to make changes to help with our ridiculous costs of benefits for our dependent and family coverage. We always get shot down. I read an analogy once about why you don't smack toddler's hands... if you continue to do so, they eventually stop reaching for things and it can impact curiosity. It is the same situation here. We'd do work and propose changes and get shot down. After awhile you stop reaching. SO... my boss and to a lesser extent me did a bunch of work to propose new coverage levels and new cost for employees blah blah blah. He and our broker presented it to our executives last week. This week... No go. No changes (except a higher cost for dependents yet again as they have no more money to give us either). They want to form a committee to study the possibility of considering forming a task force who will think about the feasability of forming a consortium to ponder the conversation around benefit changes. (Or something like that :) ) I totally want to say "Told you so" but obviously will not. Maybe in my exit interview if and when I get a new job.

The Opposite of Me

The rental car that I just picked up is the complete opposite of me. I like to rent from the Enterprise in my neighborhood because usually they don't have the teeny tiny economy cars. I always end up somewhat upgraded. Today I have a Pontiac G5. It is kind of sporty I guess. Totally not me. It is also bright yellow. It's like Big Bird yellow. It also has a rear spoiler. Seriously. This car could not be more notme if it tried.

I get to submit my mileage to the place I'm interviewing with. Since it is almost 350 miles to Portland and back, I'll be getting a nice amount of cash out of that. So weird to me.

I learned today that bossman refrains about talking about the proposed changes to our staffing because he doesn't want to upset me. It upsets me more to not know what the hell is going on.

Crazy Dreams

Probably I shouldn't eat so late at night, but I had some of the weirdest and yet most vivid dreams last night. The one that really made me sad was that I was dreaming I was pregnant. And in my dream I started miscarrying. I knew that was what was going on, but I wouldn't go use the restroom because I didn't want it to happen. I figured if I just crossed my legs and didn't use the bathroom I would keep it. Obviously my awake brain knows this is not the case but my subconscious was positive that was all I would have to do.

The interpretation from dreammoods.com... not reassuring. I'll chose the last part of the definition if I have to pick part of it.

Miscarriage: To dream that you have a miscarriage, suggests that some idea or plan did not follow through or has gone awry. The dream may also serve as a warning against your continued course of action. You should alter your path or may risk losing something of significance and value to you. Alternatively, the dream may indicate that you have been wronged in some way.

I also dreamt I was back in college and I was just moving into the dorms. I was headed to go take a shower but in order to do that I had to go to this huge shower complex. I left my room but then had to go back because I hadn't grabbed my shower stuff. I actually had packed a little bit of it (but not everything I use in my daily regime). I left again and went to the women's shower and it was actually the men's shower and it was a huge locker room type shower place. I backtracked out and went to the women's side but then there wasn't much separating the two halves and men were totally in our area. So then I left and went outside because all the showers were being used and I was waiting for one to open up. I go back inside to discover I had forgotten all my shower stuff an my camera (why I had my camera in the showers I do not want to know) outside. I went back outside to look and I couldn't find my stuff. I was getting more and more anxious about it and then woke up.

Nice and crazy:

Searching: To dream that you are searching for something, signifies the need to find something that is missing or needed in your life. You may be searching for love, spiritual enlightenment, peace or even a solution to a problem.

Shower: To dream that you (or someone) is showering with their clothes on, suggests that even though you (or someone) may change your outer appearances, it does not change who you are on the inside. Alternatively, your dream may indicate that you are unwilling to let your guard down. You are still keeping up a protective barrier between you and others.

Camera: To see a camera in your dream, signifies your desires to cling on and/or live in the past. Alternatively, it may indicate that you need to focus on a particular situation. Perhaps you need to get a clearer picture or idea.

Clearly this job thing is bugging my subconscious way more than I thought.

A tale of two interviews

I had two phone interviews today that couldn't possibly have been for more different jobs and couldn't possibly have been more different interviews. The funny thing is that I had an idea in my head about which job I wanted and once I was done, I that had flip flopped.

Job 1 - Is a benefits job for a school district on the east coast. The woman questioned me for over an hour with the most weird questions I've ever had, some of which, in retrospect, totally not necessarily legal. Among the questions asked - what beliefs do I have that are unshakable? What organizations do I belong to? What awards have I won? She also asked if I considered myself a perfectionist, how honest am I on a scale of 1 - 5, how do I show people I'm honest... and on and on. It seemed rather rote and not at all interactive. If I don't get called back for that one I won't be very sad. It would definitely be a safe job and I don't think a lot of innovation or creativity or thought will be required from me.

Job 2 - Is a benefits job for a company that is established but not very. When I did the phone screen, I thought I wasn't what they were looking for and I wouldn't get a 2nd call. I was really surprised when I did. This interview was much more conversatinal in tone. The woman seemed to want to be sure I knew what I would be getting into and asking about philosophies of benefits and what not. It got me really excited for what I do. I have forgotten how cool and fun benefits can be. Michelle posted an article to twitter earlier today about how non-profits abhor change. It was an incredibly true sentiment. We've spent years trying to get programs or policies passed and the ideas just die in committee. I would get to help build a benefits program from the ground up and that's just interesting and exciting. The best part about this interview... the very best part... I got called an hour and a half after the interview ended to come down for a face to face interview. On Tuesday. *cough cough* That was an awesome feeling... that someone thinks I can do my job well and wants me. The negative to the job... it is in a place that is not on the approved list. I'd either have to move again after Michelle & Fam did or I would have to just not live near them. Of course I'm getting ahead of myself. Another interview is not getting hired so I shouldn't count my chickens. It'll just break my heart.

Invoking Murphy

I'm planning my trip to CA for Thanksgiving. I'm excited to go. K remembers me apparently and sometimes talks about me so I want to get back and hang out with her. OH and see Michelle and shop. :) I've decided to buy my ticket sometime this week (I think).

I've got a theory... Given that Murphy's Law is a big influence in my world, I've decided that if I buy a ticket from Seattle to Burbank (or LAX?) leaving on Wednesday afternoon and returning on Sunday I'll get a new job offer which will cause me to either have already moved or have to spend Thanksgiving weekend finalizing a move. Either that, or I'll get a pretty good rate for my flight and that'll be just dandy. (I'm seriously hoping beyond all hope it will be the former. :) )

Unrelated to anything else, I just cooked lemon chicken and I added sweet chili sauce. I don't know why I thought it wouldn't make it super sweet, but it is a bit more sweet than I expected. The spicyness is just right, though. Next time leave out a little sugar and it will be dandy I think.

Barefooted

As a child I would change out of shoes the moment I could. I would walk out to the car with shoes in hand and only put them on when we got to the destination. Back in the car I'd take them off again and this would repeat as we went about our errands. I think that drove my family crazy. Although this was back before the 'clickers' for cars so I could just lock my own door and catch up. I used to get chastised for going out into the garage barefoot. We had black widows and other spiders out there and it was my dad's shop so there'd be wood pieces and nails. Seriously in retrospect it was lucky I never got tetnus or a nasty spiderbite. The bottoms of my feet were regularly black from going out the front door barefoot... walking through the cacti barefoot... down the driveway and on the sidewalk barefoot. You get the picture, right. Barefoot is where it is at!

Fast forward to being an adult. I still hate shoes. I sit in my office barefoot when I can. The moment I get home I kick off my shoes. (Doubt it? There's a pile in the front hallway of the shoes I regularly wear which is the spot I kick them off). Hence, shoe buying is always a THING for me. I like comfortable shoes. I like simple shoes. I loathe buying shoes. Currently I'm looking for a black pair for work. I'm hoping to buy a simple versatile pair I can wear with socks and I'll probably end up with some ugly vaguely lesbian pair because that's what I always end up with when I take function over form. Part of me thinks I should wait and see what kind of job I get so I can tailor this shoe purchase to match that... as though this will be the only shoe purchase I make for a year (sadly, it probably will be. I buy shoes in fall for the coming winter and spring for the coming summer and I buy 2 pair max - one black and one brown. Sometimes I buy tennis shoes but not too often). Blech.

Ridiculousness

I'm working on a job application for a position and it requires THREE background checks. Three. One of which is an FBI clearance. Wouldn't you think the FBI would come up with issues if I were a child abuser or a meth head? (Maybe not I don't know...) But the easiest was the criminal background check for the state. (Wouldn't that also show up if I were a child abuser?) I went online and entered some info and I have a certificate indicating I have never been convicted of a crime in XYZ state. Awesome.

I didn't look at the third required check until this morning. One of the things it requires... all of my addresses since 1975 and... and here's where it gets even better... everyone I've lived with since 1975. Given that I was born in 1974, I'm 100% certain I was not a child abuser in 1975. I don't even think I could be considered a child abuser until maybe 1980 when my little sister turned 2. (I'm going to presume I didn't beat on her when she was an infant and young toddler.) And technically since I would have only been six at that point, I'm pretty sure I'm still not considered a child abuser. (Although my baby sister may beg to differ... ) So that puts me at 18. Thanks to college, I lived in a lot of different spaces for 4 years. I'm not 100% certain I can remember the addresses for each of those locations and I'm fairly certain I can't remember the apartment numbers for Anderslum and Little Beruit. I think we were #2 in the tri-plex, but the physical address of the tri-plex? No clue. Then there was the place I lived with with Brenda that had all the dogs. Can't remember anything about that place except it had a lot of dogs. (And what constitutes living? I couch surfed for about a month or two in Fairbanks does that count?) (I think in the past I've put down the PO BOX address I had all 4 years and call it good, but given the purpose of this form, that may not be the right answer).

While I'm walking down memory lane let's recall the quality places I lived in in Alaska:

Little Beruit - You could unlock the door with a butter knife. We were known as "The college girls in the back" and we went on a rent strike and THEY DIDN'T NOTICE!

The Tri-plex - Neighbors were probably drug dealers... they had A LOT of 15 minute friends. Came home one day and there was a girl sitting on the front step staring at her hand. Apparently she was like that when Michelle returned from work too... like half an hour earlier. Guy in the 'apartment' building behind ours shot his dad, in the front yard, while I was home taking a nap and I DIDN'T NOTICE!

Anderslum - All my undies and bras stolen from the laundry. Actually had to call 911 on my neighbor. Bought my own damn peephole and insisted they install it after that incident. And I had the Jehovah's Witnesses coming to my door regularly. It got so bad my friend Katie would yell "It isn't the Jehovah's Witnesses" when she would knock and I wouldn't answer.

Those were some good times. :)

You Too Can Be Like Me

I get a lot of compliments at work about my lunches. It always looks so good one person says. Or it smells delicious. Or wow you must be a good cook. Seriously... I'm not. I'm not a bad cook but in reality I'm not a good cook either. So here they are... my secrets for being a "good cook"

1 - I only cook what I like. I live alone. I don't have to cater to different tastes than mine. I cook what I want to eat.

2 - It's all about the mixes and sauces. I don't need to make Thai Curry from scratch... Combine a few tablespoons from a jar of curry seasoning and a can of coconut milk and there you go. Taco seasoning, lemon chicken, kung pao chicken, spicy beef and rice, blah blah blah... all from those spice packages at the grocery store. They have easy explanations on the back and if you don't like an ingredient on the list... exclude it. No big deal.

3 - Make enough so you have left overs. Don't want PB&J for lunch every day... bring left over dinner from last night. (Except fish. Everyone in your building will hate you if you reheat fish in the microwave. Seriously. I'm telling you. NO FISH!). Again, as a singleton, I usually end up with enough left overs for about 3 days. Most people don't have the fortitude to eat the same lunch every day for 3 days... but then again they do. They eat PB&J 3 days don't they now? :)

Could, Should, Will

Could: So we have a 3 day weekend coming up. I like to sit here and dream about what I could do that weekend. Fly down to Mexico. Train up to Vancouver. Go to Astoria and hang out on the coast of Oregon. (Ok probably not that one because hotels in Astoria are EXPENSIVE) I could go camping. Haven't been in awhile. It might be nice just to rent a car and spend the weekend camping. (Although camping is always more expensive than you think it will be)

Should: I should clean and work on sorting and packing. A three day weekend is ideal for this. I have stuff in storage to sort through. I have to clean. I can begin boxing things to get rid of them or to put into storage until I'm ready to move. I don't need all my bric a brac out or all my books and all that. (Or really I can get rid of things and throw things away and clean which is great and needs to happen.) I know I'm not moving yet, but I am going to move. Come hell or high water I'm moving somewhere...

Will: However given option a and b I think I can safely guess what will probably happen. I'll do nothing. There'll be some trashy marathon of some show I didn't know I loved like Burn Notice or Law & Order SVU or Lifetime TV movies and I'll spend the weekend slack jawed and slightly drooling whilst I watch trashy tv.

A world of Unknown

I'm frustrated. I had hoped to be on my way out by now which clearly is not happening. Philly has not called. I am emailing the recruiter today. I am sick of not knowing what is happening with that. Yeah, probably I'm not getting the job, but honestly they could tell me that you know? Especially as excited as they originally seemed about me. (Or if it is a 'hiring freeze' that would be nice to know too). My recruiter friend thinks they are still considering me but also weighing their options. I'm hanging a lot of hope on this one because there is not much out there right now frankly. The funny thing is that I thought I'd take a couple weeks off from the hunt because I'm burnt out on it... so now it is a forced couple weeks off and I'm panicking. :) Isn't that the way it always goes.

Work is particularly difficult right now. We're changing to a different life insurance vendor. That would normally be no big deal. The problem... I have 3 people who will be dying in the next few months. The new vendor won't pay their claims because they were not actively at work on the 1st of the month. The old vendor won't pay because they aren't our vendor anymore. Interesting Catch 22 that is. I'm working it out, but it is a bit stressful...especially for the one whose death is imminent. (Well or for the one who seems to be in denial about her status... she's a fun one to talk to).

I checked out http://www.adoptuskids.org/ last night. It is basically a catalog of kids in foster care looking for families. It is interesting and is giving me some good insight into my future plans, if I go through with them. A few blogs I've started reading are scaring the hell out of me. :)

Can I have my money back?

So one thing I hate about election time is the damn phone calls. I loathe being called by a recording to explain why I should or should not vote for candidate x, y, or z. I especially loathe it when the voicemail (it's always voicemail, I rarely pick up my home phone) is just a recording of how bad the other candidate is. It goes to my whole hatred of attack ads. I could not care less what candidate x is or is not doing. Tell me what YOU are doing. I think after this election I'm not going to vote for any candidate whose campaign includes phone calls. I'm going to make a list of which candidates call and leave me voicemails and I'm not going to vote for them. They may be the only candidate who is pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, pro-puppies and kitties on the ballot but I will not vote for them because they've pissed me off. (obviously it is too late for this election because I didn't keep track of the 4 different candidates who called the past two weeks. FOUR candidates for a freakin' primary election - although since I didn't keep track it could actually be the same candidate who I got called about 4 times... either way, there were 4 voicemails at home).

I was thinking about this whole stance yesterday before hopping in the shower and it made me wonder... if I had donated money to a candidate who then called with one of those recorded messages could I ask for my money back? Can you ask for your money back once you've donated it to someone? I think I should be able to. "You've pissed me off, I'm no longer supporting you... give me my $20 back!" I like that idea. :)

John Vogt sat in the wrong seat...

And other adventures in flying today:

So I've seen more famous people being out and about at the Burbank airport than I've seen anywhere else. (not that that's saying a lot. I have only ever seen Heather Lock lear in public doing normal people things). Today it was John Vogt. He was actually on my flight from Burbank to Phoenix. I wasn't sure it was him at first but he was literally right behind me as I was getting on the plane and I heard him on his cell phone. It was totally his voice. So I'm sitting on the plane watching him, since I'm about 4 or 5 rows behind him, and I'm apparently a stalker (I don't actually think it is stalking if I happen to randomly see someone famous on the plane actually) when first this woman gets on and sits next to him but then she goes to the back of the plane. Whilst she is gone another guy gets on the plane and takes her spot. She comes back and a discussion ensues and that's when John Voigt discovered he was actually in the wrong row. Hee.

So my next flight, it was REALLY empty. I'm in an aisle seat and this fairly youngish guy is on the window seat. After we've taken off I glance over to look out the window and notice he's watching something on his iPod. I look and realize he's watching p0rn on his iPod. P0RN! Seriously, dude? It's a 2.5 hour flight and you can't go without for that length of time. So once we're given the go ahead to begin moving about the cabin (because you can turn the electronics on before you can stand up) he and the iPod go to the bathroom. Ew. Ew. Ew. So during this 2.5 hour flight, he gets up no fewer than 5 times to go to the bathroom. Sometimes he brought the iPod sometimes he didn't. I kind of thought he might have actually been doing drugs in the bathroom, but I didn't really know. In any event he annoyed me greatly. By the 4th time he got up I kind of wanted to punch him.

In related news, the kiddos are very very cute. Tenna (as she calls herself) cracked my shit up. I spent the very short period of time being called Joyanne, Jordanne, Jodanne, and any other variation of Joanne you can imagine. That baby, Olivia, is a very good baby. I held her for a little while today before I left. It is not my favorite thing... holding little babies. They kind of freak me out.

It's like they're reading this blog...

Which I hope they aren't because that would be creepy and troublesome and undoubtedly would lead me to not getting the job. So I got an email this morning that they were still interviewing candidates and they would let me know what the next step is. (Philly that is). That's better than silence. :)

No news is ... well no news.

Every day I come home to the fear that there'll be a TNT (thanks, but no thanks) letter from Philly in my mailbox. (Ok by every day I mean today and Monday.) I think I want this job. I hope I want this job. I hope I don't just take the job because it is the first one I get offered. Then again, I move out to Philadelphia and the economy gets better and I can always just look for a new job.

I also haven't heard form the one I phone screened for on Friday. I'm not anticiapting on hearing from them. I'm really okay with not hearing from them. Seriously. I must have totally not been paying attention when I applied there.

This week so far I applied to one in Milwaukee and one in Virginia. I was about half way through my cover letter for another one when I reread the job posting and thought I don't want THIS job, so I didn't apply for that one. I think it was also in Virginia.

I haven't reached total desperation yet... although I'm getting there. Well not really. I just really want something to happen so I can get out of this limbo I'm stuck in. I don't want to make too many future plans because I don't know if I'll still be here in Seattle. I don't want to make too many weekend plans because I may need the weekends to pack. It just sucks not knowing what is going to happen.

Things I like right now

Sadly I'm not in a great mood lately. And honestly, you people that are happy with your lives, whatever. I'm bitter and grouchy and I may not be as supportive as I should. Get over it I say.

So here's a list of things I like right now. Yes I'm well aware most of this list will include escapist activities. We'll see how it pans out:

Burn Notice: I spent most of Saturday glued to a marathon of Burn Notice. I only wish they had shown the episodes in order because I am not a regular watcher of the show and it might help me out a little bit. Otherwise. Awesome show and I need to become a regular watcher.

True Blood: I wasn't sure about this season when it first started, but now that we might finally be getting some ending to the neverneding Mary Ann orgy and the Light of Day church story is coming to a head it is getting interesting. Apparently I'm much more interested in bloodletting than sex.

Movies: I went and saw Funny People this past weekend. It was pretty good but I agree with the critic who said the entire Marin County part of the movie shouldn't have happened. It started getting meandering and lost its focus. It as around the two hour mark I leaned over to Lyday and commented that the movie was getting toooo long. And we still had 1/2 hour left. But movie theaters are air conditioned and 2 hours of escapism is very nice.

Nintenduh: I've been playing Gardening Mama on my Nintendo since I bought the game on Friday. It cracks me up. It is not at all ecologically sound as I get to use pesticides to kill off bugs and some other spray to kill off viruses. Whee. :) Also fun is Final Fantasy Tactics Something of the Grimoire. The newest FF game I bought makes me motion sick. That sucks.

Mama Mia: I've watched this movie more times in the past month than I ever thought I would ever see it. It has grown on me and now I want to buy the soundtrack. But only if the cast is actually singing it. I don't want someone else doing those songs. (Yay! According to amazon.com it is sung by the movie stars!)

Unintentionally Hysterical

So somewhere along the line I applied for a job in a small town (townx) in a rural area of a mid-western state. I have no idea how this happened I think I thought it was actually in the suburbs of a larger mid-western town (towna). I had a phone screen for said job on Friday. I finally got some time to check out the website of the company on Friday morning and as I looked around the site it became apparent that a - I was wrong and it was not in the suburbs of larger midwestern town and b - it is not the type of company I would ordinarily be looking at.

As I was surfing around the company's website I headed on over to their community events. Oh... they do an annual day where the town can come and take tours of the factory and do arts & crafts... that's cool. And look they have a group that does trail maintenance neat. And they provide scholarships. Great! And hmm.. what could this last item be... disability hunt? Hmm... how wonderful, they take developmentally disabled folks out and do a scavenger hunt with them. Neat! No. If you take those two words at their most literal meaning you can get what the activity is... they take people who have been disabled out to go hunting. Like for deer. Or wild game or whatever. There are photos. I was cracking up.

Finally during the phone screen the recruiter mentioned that sometimes I may have to go down to the plant. In order to do that, I would have to wear jeans and steel toed boots. It was so hard not to laugh my ass off. I'm really glad she didn't ask why this job was important to me or what excited me about this specific job because I would not have been able to answer that at all.

We Are Family

While waiting for the bus after the Blue October concert tonight a guy came up to the woman and her daughter who were also waiting for a bus. He says to them, "You're family, where can I find a family bar?" She didn't get it. I didn't bother to explain what he meant by family. I really didn't want to get involved in a conversation with random bus people. But he kept asking her where are the family bars. Finally I pointed out that he wanted Capitol Hill and started reciting all the different bars depending on what he was looking for. We finally established Madison Pub was what he was really looking for and he went on his merry way. In retrospect I'm totally cracking up at myself... "Well if you're into the leather scene there's the Eagle or The Cuff, but if you're looking to dance there's RPlace or Neighbors but if you want..." All three people were looking at me like I was nuts but I can't help it... Also, the lady and her kid were not family they were just a lady and her kid. (I think he thought they were a couple)

Warning: This post may contain disclaimers

So one of the things I did whilst in Chicago was drag Kate the Peon to the zoo. I think we had a pretty good time. One of the funniest things about the zoo to me, though, was the number of disclaimers. It was as though they wanted to be sure the public knew that they were well aware of every little thing wrong in each animal's habitat. In the Penguin exhibit, there was a disclaimer about a penguin who had trouble molting and some of the feathers hadn't come in. At the hippo exhibit, apparently the hippos were being introduced for potential mating possibilities and were a little like a typical chick flick. They hated each other on sight. So there's a disclaimer stating that the hippos may have some cuts and scrapes but that's due to their introduction for breeding. I'm sure that just like that Heigel chick and the oh so yummy Gerard Butler, they'll end up madly in love. There was one about some facial reconstruction surgery that one of the animals had... basically saying "yes we know its nose is deformed now move along." It was both hysterical and horribly sad. Horribly sad because you know they only have all those disclaimers because someone has reported to them x, y or z.

Meltdown!

I made a little girl (about 2) have a meltdown yesterday on the plane ride home. Her parents were in their seats when I boarded. As I was one of the last ones to board I think they thought they were home free and could use the extra seat for the daughter. Not so much, sadly for them. I took my seat and the little girl FREAKED out. She screamed. She wailed. She cried. She roared her terrible roars. She gnashed her terrible teeth. She kept plaintively wailing about her seat. "Seat!" "Seat!" she kept saying. She kept wriggling out of her mom's arms and puddling on the floor in a heap. I felt really badly but the plane was packed to the gills. As it was I think a US Air employee took a jump seat (the seats the flight attendants sit in) instead of taking a real seat. Finally she cried herself to sleep and proceeded to sleep the entire 4 hours to Vegas. The father commented she'd never done that before and pondered if it was a possible indicator of the future. :)

This Too Shall Pass

But right at this moment I hate my life.

More Offensive than Drop Dead Diva

So Drop Dead Diva is this show about a fat chick and a thin chick who each get into their own car accidents and die. Through who knows what kind of machinations the fat chick body doesn't die but somehow the soul of the thin chick ends up in it. And oh my god now the thin chick is fat. How will she survive?! Horrifying.



Yet, in my hours and hours of watching ABC Family channel, I have found something even more horrifying. Labor Pains starring Lindsay Lohan. In it she plays a girl who is about to get fired from her job. Instead she tells her boss she is pregnant. He doesn't fire her and then she continues on with the charade of being pregnant buying pregnancy bellies and all that. And this is a comedy? I can't figure out how she's going to get out of this mess without pissing off everybody except since it is a comedy you know she'll come clean and they will all forgive her because this is TV Land.



Later today I'll post my review of Harry Potter. It is mixed. Oh and maybe I'll finally take my camping pictures off my camera and post those too. :)

Better Week

I've decided this week is going to be a FABULOUS week. I believe this is my karmic pay for the jackass I had to put up with all weekend long.

1. I have a videoconference interview with a position in Philadelphia. I can totally do the job. I LOVE Philadelphia. Seriously this could be good. (Fingers crossed I don't come across as the total low self esteem boss hating neurotic I really am)

2. I'm going to go see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince on Thursday night. I've ordered my ticket on Fandango. I'm all ready to go.

3. Well ok so that's it for THIS week, but I'm sure there will be more good things to come (like Chicago and the ability to quit my job before I have to do my performance review with bossman).

4. Well I am going to cook enchiladas tonight. I do love the enchiladas. That's good too. I did very very well at eating at home mostly last week and not eating out too much (one lunch and one dinner only!). I'm going to try very hard to continue that trend. (And WOOT! Chicken breasts are on sale 1.99 a pound. It's a sign! :) ) (Ok I don't believe in signs, but if I did it would be)

My Girls

I never post photos of my girls. They are not my children so I won't show their face online even though I think on a good day only 3 people read this but I did like this photo and can share it. We went camping at Kayak Point Park in Snohomish Co. We had a pretty good time. Played a lot of Apples to Apples and played on the playground. We cooked and ate and did arts and crap. All in all it was a pretty successful camping trip.

Chicago!

So I'm going to Chicago for a few days later this month. Michelle's going to Blogher conference and I'm going to just be a tourist. You can imagine my joy at the email I received from my celiac group listing GF restaurants in Chicago. I'm not positive I'll get to go to one, but it is nice that there are options that I may be able to easily find. I may have to actively seek out Swirlz Cupcakes. Now to figure out what I'm going to do whilst there. :)

Wildfire
Rose's Wheat Free Bakery
The Balanced Kitchen
Da Luciano's
Stillwater Restaurant and Wine Bar
Gluten-Free Grocery
Adobo Grill
Weber Grill Restaurant
Lou Malnati's
Whole Bakers
Uno Chicago Grill
Vinci Restaurant
Lux Bar
Swirlz Cupcakes
Smith and Wollensky
Tavern on Rush
Ben Pao

Shop til I drop

Yesterday I went to Target to get an air mattress. $104 later I leave Target. How does it happen? Well I bought the mattress but I would need a pump to blow it up so that's another thing and then the pump needs batteries so there's something else and then I thought about how much I love Target's brand of fruit leather so I bought some of those and then I found myself buying more underwear and a couple of bras and there you have $104. Ridiculous isn't it?



I also traded in 4 video games and bought a new one and a previously owned one at the mall. I was sad to discover the health food store I used to go to all the time is now closed down. Oh and I went to the movies at the new theater in Northgate. It is a beautiful theater. Of course because it is brand new and relatively unadvertised so it isn't crowded at all and dirty yet. The chairs were super duper comfy. I liked it.


Today I went to the grocery store and that wasn't too bad but then I went up to the drug store and bought... yet another fan. I now own 6 fans not counting the ceiling fan that is in the kitchen that isn't "mine". Sadly, 3 of those fans don't work. I need to throw them away but I get all bogged down in the "can I throw this away?" question and instead I just store them in my apartment. I keep thinking I can't throw them in the trash and have to find another way to dispose of them but then I don't know what the other way would be. This new fan oscillates. It is the most wonderful fan ever!

I bought Big Brain Academy and Mario Kart for my DS. I spent 4 hours this morning playing Big Brain Academy. It might be an addiction. I like Mario Kart, but mostly I like the regular one and not the challenges. I need to practice the regular way before I get into them too much I think.

What does this even mean?

So I was reading my horoscope and here is what it is for today:

Prepare yourself. The more you've been thinking about doing something 'different' lately -- and the more restricted, controlled and constrained you've been feeling -- the more amazingly erratic your behavior has seemed to the people around you. That's not a reason to stop yourself, however. Every now and then, everyone needs to let go. It's officially your turn, and your turn has only just started.

My turn has only just started? I need to let go? I don't think I've seemed more erratic. How do I know? Whatever. :)

Photojeraphic Pimentos

So when I was a little girl I desperately wanted to go be on the Bozo Show so I could play the Grand Prize Game. If you didn't do well you got a 'photojeraphic pimento' of your time on the show. I totally didn't get that it was taped in Chicago and couldn't understand why we couldn't just go there. That's a long explanation that has nothing to do with this photo. :)

So obviously this is a photo from Disney World. I think my sister is about 3 which would have made me between 7 and 8. My mom posted an unedited version of this on her facebook account and I pulled it from there and ran it through photoshop. It helped quite a bit actually since her photo was faded and somewhat red. My actual point to all of this... for those of you with families. Take family photos. This may honestly be the only family photo we have that my sister is in. That's a little sad if you think about it. We took a bunch the last time I was visiting my parents for Christmas, but obviously it isn't the same.

Denver

I'll upload my photos tomorrow. I feel like the interview went well. I have such a hard time with them. I answered all their questions. It only took like 45 minutes... I don't know if that's good or bad. I think the interviews were only slated to be an hour anyway. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time finding a place that doesn't have a decision making disability. They are going to be making a decision in the next week or two and then decide on the next steps. I could be waiting until July for Christ's sake. That's just too long.

Another problem... I don't know how I feel about Denver. Denver is far more like Arizona than I could have imagined. I can't figure out if that's a strike against it or not. While walking around the Denver Botanical garden, I was in this one section that reminded me so much of scout camp in AZ I was transported back to being a camp counselor years and years ago. We used to smell the trees and some were vanilla trees and chocolate trees. I don't know but the kids swore they smelled it. I leaned against a tree and smelled. I could almost smell the vanilla.

This morning in Denver was great. Went to the Botanical Garden and it was gorgeous, but by mid afternoon I didn't know what to do with myself. That's why I schedule myself so much more carefully. I just get agitated. Now I'm not sure if my questioning of Denver is due to residual agitation about driving all over Denver looking for something to entertain me that would have killed an hour and a half. I don't know.

Struggling

There are two things I'm really struggling with with this whole job search.

1 - I'm trying very hard not to panic and just apply for anything I see. I have been very thoughtful in only applying for jobs that are at my level and in places I want to live. I did apply for two jobs that are a step back. I had good reasons for both. Job a - with firemen. That's all there is to it. :) Job b - is a combined comp & benefits position and I have no hands on comp experience so I thought this might be a good way to get into the comp aspect of things. Interestingly enough, those two jobs are the only ones that have led anywhere yet. I'm still optimistic though. :) I just applied for 3 more jobs this evening and the first 4 candidates we've interviewed in my office for the new boss job have all fizzled out. My boss seems to clearly suck at phone screens. So I'm presuming, hopefully not incorrectly, that my pay cut won't actually occur until the new person starts. Fingers crossed.

2 - The other hard part for me is the whole dishonesty about the whole job search. Honestly, people usually are job hunting in secret. So I put on this very public face of I'm coping well and being a team player and professional and all that while planning on leaving the moment I can. It bothers me a little bit.

3 - I am finding it really hard to give a rats ass about most things. Now that I have a plan in place to leave, I find I couldn't care less about a lot of things I should. I'm going to have to fight harder against that because I still have to do my job.

I blame Sookie Stackhouse

For the fact that I accomplished nothing today. I started watching True Blood after realizing Anna Paquin is in it. I like her acting a lot so I decided to watch a few episodes On Demand. True Blood, for those without HBO, is a show about vampires and other supernatural creatures. I forget how I discovered the shows were based on books (I think they might show a little thing when the episode first starts or ends) but I decided to check out the first one. I was hooked. The Southern Vampire Mysteries are much better than that other big vampire series. :) They are really rather short reads - the first book is 292 pages - and they are quick to boot. The basic premise of the stories is that vampires have come out of the coffins because Japan has invented a synthetic blood that allows them to get the nutrition they need without drinking from people. So now they go out at night and associate with people. Sookie is a small town waitress in Louisiana and meets one and has all sorts of adventures due to her ability to read minds. Regular people don't like her either because they know what she can do or just because they think she's crazy. On the show, they followed the book somewhat. The basic premise of the first season follows the first book although there were definitely places of digression and addition. I just watched the 2nd season premiere and they've gone way off the original books but that's okay. It was still a pretty good episode.

I bought a new gray pin striped suit yesterday. I'm going to take a picture of me in it as soon as I find my camera. :) I like it. I think it is slimming. It was originally priced really expensively - $300 (ok that's expensive to me, maybe it isn't really expensive). It was marked down to $122 which is a good deal. I've never owned something so elegant. :) I just have to figure out how to get it to Denver so I can change into it when I get off the plane and after lunch and it won't be wrinkley. I do have one of those squishy hanging bags... Do the stewardesses only hang those up for first class? Hmm...

Poke me in my head

I think my acupuncturist thinks my pain is psychosomatic. Or maybe not that but he seems to believe I'm a big ball of tension. He's probably right. Friday he did the pin thing and since I always ask when he puts them in weird places I asked what each of the different pins do. So he put one in the top of my head (although how did he know where to put it?) and two in the back of my neck, three on one wrist and two on my other hand, one in my elbow and one on the top of each foot. The purpose of all of those... relaxation. And yet still... spent most of the time either jiggling one of my feet (not my fault... he puts one into this spot on my back which totally kills my hip and makes my foot fall asleep) or tapping my fingers. (Unrelated to this... I don't think I like Eva Longoria however I do have a weird little crush on the freecreditreport guy). Hopefully when Denver and Pittsburgh both offer me jobs (because why wouldn't they, I rule! Which I might be crushed if neither even offers me a next interview) and I get to quit this job I will be a little less tense. Of course I'll have a whole different source of tension - moving - but let's not think about that, shall we?

I spent the afternoon going to and from Bremerton on the ferry. Whilst in Bremerton I volunteered for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Poker Run and Regatta. It was pretty fun. I spent the afternoon on a dock handing out envelopes with cards in them to boats who came by. It wasn't too hot outside which was nice.

Honesty... is such a blah blah blah

One of the things that has been annoying me about this job search is the question about why I am interested in relocating to xyz location. I frequently give some vague answer about being nearer to family or whatever. I think I'm going to revise that policy and instead I'm going to give the honest answer: After researching possible locations that I may decide to move to xyz city has appeal based on several criteria including being large enough to support the size of industry that would need to employ a benefits manager yet not so large as to be impersonal or intimidating, four seasons for the northern locations, warmth for the southern ones, near a large body of water for those that are or near mountains, a lower cost of living and at least on paper decent public transportation. Other good factors of xyz city include a hockey team (Denver, Austin, Pittsburgh, Milwaukee, Chicago) as well as cultural opportunities so that I may continue my volunteering endeavors. Again depending on location I may expand on that and say near enough to places like NYC and Boston (again Pittsburgh) without actually being NYC or Boston. I think this might be the more well thought out answer and may make me shine a bit in their eyes. :)

The other part of the question I'm starting to get annoyed by... what kind of support system I'll have. Let me worry about that. I've moved more than once with one person or less as a support system in place... I'm not too worried about that now.

So Happy

I had a dream this morning that I really didn't want to wake up from. The funny thing is, when I look at the pieces of the dream, I can't figure out why I was so happy in it, but I really was.

I dreamed I was back with an ex-boyfriend. In my dream I was younger than I am now. We were living together with my parents. But these parents weren't my real parents they were just dream parents. For some reason I drove him back and forth to work. (Really in retrospect it sounds rather ghetto). He worked in a PR company that was huge and he worked in a giant room that was kind of like those 50's movies about the future and automatons... just a big room with a big screen and a boss on the screen but the workers were all scurrying around doing their work. So for some reason I sneak in to see him and give him something and in the process I end up sneaking out several tubes of lipstick and nail polish. All very red shades. That was very vivid... the red. I have to sneak back out down a spiral staircase and then past a big desk to go back to my car. All very weird.

Red: Red is an indication of raw energy, force, vigor, intense passion, aggression, power, courage and passion.The color red has deep emotional and spiritual connotations. Consider the phrase "seeing red" to denote anger.
Red is also the color of danger, shame, sexual impulses and urges. Perhaps you need to stop and think about your actions.

Ex: To dream about your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or that you and your ex got back together again, suggests that something or someone in your current life that is bringing out similar feelings you felt during the relationship with your ex. The dream may be a way of alerting you to the same or similar behavior in a current relationship. What you learn from that previous relationship may need to be applied to the present one so that you do no repeat the same mistake. Alternatively, past lovers often highlight the positive experiences you had with that person. It could also signify aspects of yourself that you have x'd out or neglected. To dream that you are making out with your ex, signifies your acceptance of certain characteristics of your ex. The dream does not necessarily mean that you want to get back together with him or her. Consider what were the things you liked and disliked about him. These are the same qualities that you are finally acknowledging within your own self.

Lipstick: To buy, see, or wear lipstick in your dream, suggests that you are not entirely truthful about something.

Stealing: To dream that you are stealing, denotes that you are deprived and where the stealing takes place (at home, the office, at school....) is indicative of your neediness. Alternatively, it may signify unrealized and unfulfilled goals. You may have set your goals too high.