Dreams

I woke up this morning at about 2:00 in a panic and full of such despair... At the time, I remembered the dream I was having, although now in the light of day, I can only remember two distinct features... 

1. My sister was alive.  Not only was she alive, but she was pregnant.
2. My father was leaving.  This piece is a bit fuzzier actually.  I remember he was leaving and I was in the driveway of my parents' house screaming Don't take my daddy! Then falling in a slump on the oil stained driveway.  That's when I woke up.

There was much more back story before all this, but I can't remember it.  Only the sister and my father. 

Dreammoods.com tells me:

To see your dead sibling, relative, or friend alive in your dream, indicates that you miss them and are trying to relive your old experiences you had with them. In trying to keep up with the pace of your daily waking life, you dreams may serve as your only outlet in coping and coming to terms with the loss of a loved one. 

Dreaming that someone has been kidnapped indicates that you are not letting aspects and characteristics of that person be expressed within you. You are trying to contain and/or suppress those qualities of the kidnapped person

Seeing your father in your dream, symbolizes authority and protection. It suggests that you need to be more self-reliant.

To see an oil spill in your dream, suggests that you are in emotional turmoil. You are experiencing problems and distress in your personal relationships.

To dream that you are wearing a cloak, signifies the need for security, warmth and the feeling of being well protected. It may also mean that you are trying to cover-up or hide something.

So if we piece this all together... Well... I don't know what exactly it all means.  Do I miss my sister?  We weren't close, so I don't know.  Christmas 2001 was the last year I saw her before she died in 2002.  Prior to Thanksgiving 2001,  I hadn't spoken to her in like 2 years.  Not because of any rift or anything, but with the 10 year age difference and the vast life experience differences, it was difficult to talk to her.  She was much closer to my younger sister who went through some similar life experiences.  I am also not sure what aspects of my father I may be supressing... He and I are actually remarkably alike, very laid back and easy going.  I am probably more maybe compassionate is the word I want.  He is an almost 70 year old Republican.  He remembers the 40's and is a pick yourself up by your bootstraps kind of guy.  Security and self reliance... that I'll almost buy.  It is a wee bit stressful to think that when it comes right down to it, all I have is me.  I didn't think I was feeling any emotional turmoil.  Things have been pretty good lately.  I think I'll chalk up this odd dream to drunkenness and the downer feeling usually brought on by that.