Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Being a grown up

I just contacted Group Health to make an appointment to do an advance directive in case I am incapacitated and unable to make health care decisions. I have to do this as apparently my mother & I came down on opposite sides of the Terri Schaivo case. I also don't think it is fair to put either my father or my sister in between my real wishes and my mother's. If either of them do what I ask, (even if the law forces them to when they don't want to) she'll rain down shit on them forever. In her defense, she lost a child and so she can really empathize with the Schindlers. It is something I've never known. And I know that if she had been able to have any hope for my sister, she would've held out. They did have to turn off the respirator, and I can't imagine what that must have been like for them. She fought tooth and nail with my heinous ex-brother-in-law whom I hate over the disposal of my sister's body and won that battle and had the funeral and buried her, despite my sister's wishes of cremation. I'm not so picky about my body. I'd prefer cremation because then I'm not wasting space and I think it might be better for the environment, yet I think that stuff is more for the living. If my mom's still alive, she can bury me. She can have a big ol' Catholic priest saying all the right words over me if she wants. It isn't like I'm going to be using the body any time soon. Although I'm all about the organ donation so if they can take anything useful from me, they have to do that first. (Which she may not be all about but too damn bad).


Putnawa said...

I'll fight your mom for you on organ donation, and I'll fight your mom for me on cremation. Just for the fun of it.

Peeved Michelle said...

MP and I will present a united front. Be sure to send us each a copy of that thing.

Stephen said...

The right to make decisions about YOUR body.

I personally want cremation also, and don't want my body lying in a vegetative state for a decade.

Certainly, I'm not one to judge your decision, but I find it interesting that you want the right to make the decision about being cremated, but don't care if that right is respected.

I agree that funerals are for the living, but IMHO, it is still my wishes, and no matter how much they disagree, it shows respect to my life to respect my last wish. Saying you respect someone, but aren't going to abide by their last wish seems contradictory. If it's against her moral system, then she can withhold comment out of respect.

As hard is might be for your mother, it's about you and your life - not her and hers.

It's sad to see people fighting - literally fighting - over a dead or dying, and vulnerable human being. I wish with all my might that these battles weren't necessary, but the body is irrelevant - it's the respect of their wishes that is critical.

Joanne said...

For anyone else but my mother, it is cremation. But I understand her background and where she's coming from. Her Catholic upbringing (old school Catholic not post Vatican 2 Catholic) doesn't allow for cremation. If by some chance I die before she does, I don't want to hurt her a second time because of her beliefs about the necessity of the physical body. It is my wish, but I'm willing to set aside my wishes for her beliefs. Because it is more important to her than me. I don't always, hence the need for the directive for any medical care. That's more important to me than my physical body.

Putnawa said...

PM and I won't make your mom cry too much about the cremation, but seriously send us both a copy of your directive. It may be the most morbid thing in the world, but, speaking as a friend who values loyalty highly, I know the two of us will make sure your wishes are respected.

And to the Republican nut-jobs who will get involved no matter how inappropriate that may be: Suck it!!

Peeved Michelle said...

Ya, suck it!