Friday, July 22, 2005

Eye contact

Once upon a time when I was far more... hmm, I don't know what word I want here, but when I was younger, I used to never make eye contact with anyone. I hated it. I'd try and struggle with it but it was torture. Now that I'm older and more mature or whatever, I'm fine with it except when talking about something that is really hurting me or if I'm really angry. I fear others' reactions, but that's a whole other show. I don't think I ever fully got why that bothers people until recently. The computer guy I hate at work doesn't make eye contact. Or rarely does. I caught his eye while he was talking and he held it for about a minute then broke it as though it pained him. I think it contributes to my perception of his shiftiness.

2 comments:

P'nut said...

Exactly! I was the same way, but made the effort to change it and now it's nothing (eye contact)... but it drives me 'round the bend when others have a problem with it. I should be more sympathetic considering I had the same problem... but I can't!

Putnawa said...

I have eye-contact issues, but not because I'm shifty. (I don't think.) I'm always scanning the crowd, mostly as a work-related trait of needing to keep an eye on things. (Yes, I'm a control freak. Get over it.)

But I try to compensate by being otherwise attentive when I'm speaking to people. (I also look at people while they're talking, and sort of do the lecture-hall eye roving thing when I'm talking, so I'm making eye contact with them often.)

But sometimes I worry that people will think I'm shifty because I'm always looking at something else. But nobody has called me on it. Yet.