The Apprentice Dream

In honor of Joanne's unholy love for The Apprentice, I am posting my dream about The Apprentice last night.

I was at The Donald's place of business. Every morning, the heads of his major divisions gave him a status report. They were all seated at a long table and The Donald went down the row and got an update from each one of them. For some reason, I was the only contestant chosen to witness this. I was very excited.

The division heads all left and the other contestants, 24 of them including me, were shown into the room and seated at the table. Everyone except for me and The Donald was sitting on one side of the table. He and a producer were explaining our first task and told us to group up. A couple girls next to me asked if I wanted to be in their group, so I said sure. (I don't know how they got there since I had just been sitting on that side of the table alone a moment before.) I turned to a girl across from me and realized I knew her from high school. I didn't remember her name, but I did remember she was a bitch. I asked her if she wanted to join us anyway. She said yes. Seated next to her was a girl I had gone to school with since the first grade. I said, "How about you, Virginia?" She politely declined. Bitch.

I don't know why we had to group up because the first task was actually a game of dodgeball. We didn't know what the winners would get. We all formed a large circle. Seated in chairs behind us in a larger circle were all of our friends and families. The game started. It was brutal and chaotic and progressed quickly. Somehow I ended up as one of the final three, along with two girls I knew from high school, Gina and Judy. I had the ball. As I was about to throw it with all my might at Judy, The Donald blew a whistle and told us that the game was over and the three of us were the winners.

We each would be the team leads for a team of eight. Gina was to lead the team of high school graduates. Judy was to lead the team of those with Associates degrees. I was was to lead the team of those with Bachelors degrees or higher. As team leads, we were in charge of our groups and were responsible for choosing the project manager each week, but we could be fired like anybody else.

We all went back to the house and settled into our rooms. I was about to get my team together for a meeting when I woke up.